Pajiba Love 03/10/08

Pajiba Love

Passive aggressive notes at their finest — the result is nothing short of poetry. (PassiveAggressiveNotes)

Omigosh! The chick from the Harry Potter movies is absolutelyfriggin’gorgeous! But yeah, until you’re 18 — put on some clothes, you little hussbag. (WIMB)

Prostitute may resign after getting caught sleeping a politician. Oh, wait. Maybe it’s the other way around. (QuizLaw)

Seriously? They shot fake spoiler scenes for the “Sex and the City” movie? Why does there need to be a Dick Cheney level of security for the plot of this shit-ass movie? (Agent Bedhead)

Ashton Kutcher has a new show which lets celebrities punk the paparazzi and public. It’s called: “No one cares, you asshat.” (The Blemish)

Now, I didn’t hear any complaining when I posted all the hot dick last week, so I don’t want to hear word one about this gratuitous Kristen Bell cleavage. (Popoholic)

Okay, just a little something for the ladies, then. (WIMB)

Let’s celebrate 50 years of Sharon Stone! (The Film Experience)

Mother’s Day will be here before you know it, so here’s a little something for the Mom who has everything. (Jezebel)

Jennifer Lopez no longer wants to be known as “J Lo,” but unfortunately I think “Queen Shit of Turd Mountain” is already taken. (Yeeeah!)

After the jump, the Amazing Cat of 1000 Faces. (It’s amazing!)

Pajiba Love | March 10, 2008 | Comments (60)

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Comments

The only way the SaTC movie would interest me is if it climaxed in all the cast members being rolled in pig fat and thrown into a pit filled with rabid coyotes. And perhaps biting worms.

So, if that's the spoiler, sorry for ruining it.*

* not really.

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 3:58 PM

So just because these days when I hear the words "torrid sexual affair", I can think of only one location, may I ask which one of you Pajibans is Eliott Spitzer? My money's on Shadows of Dakaron or Vermillion.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2008 4:05 PM

When Mr. Pink gets home, I am so introducing him to the Passive Aggressive Notes site.

His senior year in college, Mr. Pink wrote and posted on the bathroom door of his dorm a rather long diatribe to "The Phantom Shitter" who kept leaving little presents all over the toilet seat. Man, I wish he kept a copy.

Seriously, he excels at this sort of stuff. He is currently a fan of leaving long missives on parking offenders windshields at work.

Posted by: Alabamapink at March 10, 2008 4:13 PM

Mmm...Hermione and Veronica!

I just about died with laughter reading the passive-aggressive notes. Those are great. Especially loved the glass broken in the common room one. At least he's being honest.

I'm pretty sure my mom would beat me black and blue if I got her that. Or my brother and sister would. Seriously...I got disturbing vibes off that.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 10, 2008 4:13 PM

Paddy...I'm insulted. I mean, seriously. I wouldn't get caught with such cheap hookers...all of mine are exported in deluxe from Chile...

I mean...ahem...I wouldn't know of such things. I'm a gentleman.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 10, 2008 4:20 PM

Anyone out there in a less embarrassing state with government job openings? Anyone?

Posted by: Kolby at March 10, 2008 4:22 PM

I the Passive-Aggressive notes site. That is so funny.

Kolby, that depends upon how you define "less embarrassing".

Posted by: Melody at March 10, 2008 4:26 PM

Kolby, I'm actually hiring an assistant...

Wait. Forget it. We both know that would never work.

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 4:30 PM

When I read that Passive Aggressive Note from Dustin, I thought it was our Dustin. That note did say Dustin, right?
I shouldn't be laughing this hard since I'm supposed to be working.

Stacy, that pic of Davy Jones is just cruel. We have Javier on one side, and then we're forced to see old man-boob. Sad, sunburned, "please love me" man-boob. For shame.

Posted by: Brie at March 10, 2008 4:31 PM

There are a number of job openings here, but this is the same state that elected a wrestler as governor. Is a governor dressed in a spandex speedo pretend-fighting other men under the name "The Body" any less embarrassing than a prostitution scandal? Debatable...

Posted by: Sarina at March 10, 2008 4:31 PM

TK - thanks, but you're right, it probably wouldn't work. Not unless the job description includes daily verbal beatdowns of the boss. Oh, snap!

Posted by: Kolby at March 10, 2008 4:33 PM

I get visions of Swimming with Sharks...

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 10, 2008 4:33 PM

Sarina? Two words: Mitt Romney.

Yeah. I'm not proud either. Although our new boy Deval is a vast improvement.

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 4:37 PM

tee hee! "sweet n'low pink, equal blue."

i would've rather seen the other david jones's nipple thank you very much.

Posted by: kelley at March 10, 2008 4:37 PM

Don't hate, Kolby, sometimes a guy lets the pressure of governing his state get to him and he needs to blow off steam by getting a prostitute to treat him like the little bitch he is.

Posted by: Julie at March 10, 2008 4:38 PM

Brie, (and don't ask how I know this either) but from what I understand, he does that quite a lot. "Please love me" indeed.

Posted by: Stacey at March 10, 2008 4:39 PM

Kolby & TK:

Your states are just amateurs. Our former Governnor is in jail for a "drivers licenses for campaign money" scandal that resulted in the deaths of 6 children. Our current Governor is under federal investigation for massive electoral misconduct and bribery and mis-use of state funds. The mayor of our largest city is under federal investigation for a "contracts for fund raisers" scandal. The state's largest political fund raiser is currently on trial on insanely large counts of bribery and corruption and our county president who was chosen because the former president (his dad) was elected while in a coma (most people thinking he could do less harm in a coma than conscious) has been holding the county budget hostage to implement the most outrageous tax hike to fund his ridiulous roster of no-show jobs for the people who keep him elected. Beat that if you can.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2008 4:41 PM

First Donny Osmond, now Davy Jones.
Way to make me feel OLD! Thanks a fucking lot! I was already having a bad day. You owe me, Pajiba!

Posted by: BWeaves at March 10, 2008 4:42 PM

Sweet swallowing Buddha, Paddy! Game, set, and fucking match!

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 4:46 PM

Man, I was going to say Huck, but Paddy wins hands down.

Posted by: Melody at March 10, 2008 4:49 PM

TK, in light of the recent peace accord, I think you should lend PaddyDog the zombie hordes. She needs them for a storming of the capital, I think.

Posted by: Sarina at March 10, 2008 4:51 PM

Paddy, that's insane.

Indicentally, in today's Assembly session (one half of New York's legislative body), they honored the mayor of Wexford County, Ireland. Small world, I guess.

Posted by: Kolby at March 10, 2008 4:55 PM

I so totally meant incidentally.

Posted by: Kolby at March 10, 2008 4:56 PM

Yeah, Paddy can obviously take all comers.

Our governors have been fairly tame over the past couple of decades. Now our clown car of a city council has had some real winners. A drug addict, a bigoted embezzler who had our only decent small music venue shut down just because he is an asshole, an Ork (and ordained minister) fond of being on the take, and trailer trash queen who smacked a state cop.

Not bad for the former Capitol of the Confederacy.

Posted by: Alabamapink at March 10, 2008 4:56 PM

And finally some good news today. MSNBC is canceling the Tucker Carlson show. There is a God.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2008 4:56 PM

Should I have said County Wexford instead of Wexford County?

Posted by: Kolby at March 10, 2008 4:57 PM

Man, Paddy, I thought Philly* was bad with the murders and the former crap-ass mayor and the evil triumverate that is our parking authority, public transit system, and liquor laws...but yeah, you win.

*I still love you, don't shoot me.

Posted by: Julie at March 10, 2008 4:58 PM

Alabama Pink:

Your City Councilman is an Ork? Am I missing some southern vernacular or does that mean he comes from the same place as Mork?

And, thank you all for your sympathy. It probably seems an outrageous situation to anyone living outside of Illinois, but it's actually just politics as usual in Chicago.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2008 5:00 PM

Julie,

I used to live in Philly, and I always said that one of the things that makes that city so remarkable is that it's been so corrupt for so long, that it's citizens aren't even outraged anymore. People just accept that crime and graft and lying are like... like the sun setting. It's an almost cheerful acceptance of the inevitability of human greed.

It's actually quite astonishing.

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 5:00 PM

Ahhh, the Passive-Aggressive Notes blog is one of my favourites. See also: the "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.

Posted by: Lannie at March 10, 2008 5:01 PM

What a showboat, Paddy...having to one-up everybody here by having the worst government leaders. What nerve. Seriously, though..I think a full-scale assault on the capital is fully appropriate and within our rights. You have my sympathy...and I thought I had it bad.

[Julie...stop with the pillow talk...you have me already.]

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 10, 2008 5:05 PM

Paddy,

Apologies for goofy spelling. I guess I should have spelled it "Orc". According to to Wiki, Orcs have "faces that resemble a cross between a pig and a primate."

And that's pretty much what Gwen Hedgepeth looks like, former city councilwoman and bribe-taker.

Posted by: Alabamapink at March 10, 2008 5:10 PM

Seriously TK, I adore this town, but there's so much tension now from the amount of crime that the air is thick with it. And it's just...expected. No one should have to walk through Rittenhouse Square with a mugging contingency plan. :)

Posted by: Julie at March 10, 2008 5:13 PM

Lannie:

Is the "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks blog related to the Home for Abused Apostrophes (one of my favourite charities)? Do you have a URL?

AlabamaPink:

Some how I find that so disappointing. I had a vision of a Councilwoman in rainbow suspenders and bad eighties hair doing silly voices and pretty much annoying everyone around.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2008 5:17 PM

Kolby:

Yes, it's County Wexford (home county of the Kennedys by the way), but no worries. Few people get the spelling right so you're way ahead of the pack.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 10, 2008 5:32 PM

I just get on with pressing "Clear", and setting clocks while I'm at it. Oh it drives me BONKERS but you're never gonna stop people being sloppy with microwaves and clocks. Better to be the solution.

Just put a fucking newspaper back together properly, okay?

Posted by: Jay at March 10, 2008 5:34 PM

Hee Shadows, but I'm so good at the pillow talk.

Posted by: Julie at March 10, 2008 5:36 PM

Given those pics of Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe's recent fully-nude role in Equus, I'm afraid that hot Harry-on-Hermione action won't hold any surprises for anyone. Sorry. (Slash writers all over the world are waiting to see Tom Felton naked, though.)

Phooey on all of you and your interesting governors. Best I can do is our 2000 U.S. Senate race, where I *proudly* voted for a charred corpse instead of John Ashcroft.

Posted by: jeem at March 10, 2008 6:44 PM

Julie, don't let Paddy run away with this one. While the awesomeness of her statewide corruption is impressive, none of her senators had a deviant sexual act named after him. Santorum by a ugghghg.

Carl Weathers for Governor! He was in Predator too!

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at March 10, 2008 7:40 PM

Julie, don't let Paddy run away with this one. While the awesomeness of her statewide corruption is impressive, none of her senators had a deviant sexual act named after him. Santorum by a ugghghg.

:gasps: How on earth could I forgot the horror that was Santorum?! I declare Pennsylvania the fecal matter/semen froth covered winner.

:throws up:

Posted by: Julie at March 10, 2008 7:50 PM

Ah, yes. Who can forget the glorious Rick Santorum, who once equated homosexuality with pedophilia, incest and necrophilia.

And then got re-elected.

[dies inside]

Posted by: TK at March 10, 2008 7:55 PM

quotation-marks.blogspot.com

I'm not sure it's related to the apostrophe abuse blog, but they link to it. It's all in the same vein of hilarity.

Posted by: Lannie at March 10, 2008 8:02 PM

My good friend and then-roommate voted for Santorum in 2006 (when he was defeated by Casey). I had to lock myself in my room that night and scream into my pillow so I wouldn't beat her to death with my shoe.

Posted by: Julie at March 10, 2008 8:10 PM

our governor made the movie "twins" with danny devito.

beat that, amateurs.

Posted by: bionic bunny at March 10, 2008 9:12 PM

SO embarrassing. Someone at work told me Spitzer had been caught "banging a prostitute". That's what I get for listening to people who surf the internet all day instead of updating the spreadsheet you were supposed to be working on for me. Thanks a lot, Jim! Anywhoodle, I have no defense for the man. I voted for him. And I feel like the plum fool at this point.

And stay away from that Passive Agressive notes website. It is addictive. I thought I was the only person driven crazy by extra time on the microwave. Will you just hit CLEAR already?!

Posted by: greer at March 10, 2008 9:44 PM

I'm not sure if this is the right place or an abuse of comments, but last week someone on Pajiba Love posted info on / links to some nerdcore band.

I meant and meant to go back and look it up, but now I fail and it's nowhere to be found. Anyone remember what I'm talking about and can help?

Posted by: Fuggle at March 10, 2008 10:09 PM

My state (Florida) will probably come in last with this story. A few years ago, the 2 people running for Commissioner of Soil and Water were too lazy to get their paperwork in on time, so their names did not appear on the ballot. The ballot simply read:

Commissioner of Soil and Water
______________________________
(WRITE IN)

20% of the people wrote in SOIL, 80% of the people wrote in WATER. WATER won by a landslide. There was no run-off.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 10, 2008 11:18 PM

Paddy,
Chicago and Illinois politics are definitely fucked up but they are sure-as-hell entertaining -in a sad, soul-crushing way, Godblessit - but definitely entertaining.

Posted by: jen310 at March 11, 2008 12:08 AM

That cat has enough contempt in his soul to be a pajiba commenter.

Posted by: Haystacks at March 11, 2008 6:17 AM

Fuggle:

http://thegrammarclub.com/?page_id=22

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2008 6:50 AM

BWeaves: I do actually think that Florida may be the winner. Afterall, they did deliver W. into the White House and I can think of no greater sin against sensibility.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 11, 2008 9:32 AM

To call what Kristen Bell is sporting 'cleavage' is an insult to actual owners of cleavage such as my own personal goddess Salma Hayek. What Kristen has is the unholy union of wonder bra, duct tape and a dress that makes respiration a marvel.

Oh, not to mention that she has all the facial features of a ferret. God, I hate that rodent-faced skinny bitch with a passion.

Posted by: Spork at March 11, 2008 9:52 AM

I thought it was just me that was unimpressed. Can't say I feel strongly enough to hate. I certainly appreciate Stacey's gesture though.

Didn't think she had any business wearing the Leia bikini recently though. That wasn't right.

Posted by: Jay at March 11, 2008 10:14 AM

PS. emma watson is a month from being 18....I'd give her some slack.

Posted by: sarah at March 11, 2008 11:31 AM

The Passive-Aggressive notes are sa-weet!

As secretary of my HOA, I have to write a lot of notes, mostly for parking. A friend read some of my first missives and told me to "take out the hate".
So I removed all the personal stuff and things I WANTED to say ("What part of 'no parking in the street' you don't understand?" or "The next time you don't pick up your dog's shit, I'm bringing it over there to jam it back up his ass.").
The notes turned out more boring, but I got better results. Keep it simple, but stay stern.

Posted by: numchuck at March 11, 2008 11:39 AM

This is totally off topic, but I just gotta say: Those BSG ads on the side need warning labels!

As in,
Question: Do you really want to see the recap? Y/N
Answer: Y

Question: Do you really, really want to see the recap? The recap that includes Season 3? Y/N
Answer: Y

Question: Do you really, really, really want to see the recap? The recap that includes Season 3? The season which you have yet to see? Y/N
Answer: Y

Comment: DUMBASS

Posted by: Stella at March 11, 2008 1:30 PM

Um, Paddydog....

I'm from Mississippi and I live near the Trent Lott International Airport and my nephew goes to Trent Lott middle school and the speaker at my community college graduation was, you guessed it, Trent Lott.

Believe me it could only be worse if I lived in GeorgeBushville.

Posted by: Phat girl at March 11, 2008 1:44 PM

We have the Governator...... does that count?

Posted by: nancy at March 11, 2008 2:05 PM

Phat girl:

I feel your pain. The Pajiba zombie/drunken Irish alliance will be over to help you out when we're finished with the northern states.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 11, 2008 3:40 PM

BWeaves, I almost choked while laughing at your commissioner of soil and water! That's the first time I have laughed hysterically in a long time.

As far as state governors, we have a former gov who was a failed Amway salesman who only got into office because the dominant Democratic party self-destructed. That governor was convicted of embezzling from his inaugural funds and removed from office.Now our illustrious state legistature wants to give him a pardon so he will qualify for a state pension. Another gov is in prison for selling a position on a state healthcare board to a major hospital owner who contributed heavily to said gov's campaign to establish a state lottery.

I love that cat. He has infinite patience to put up with his human hanging placards in his face. My cats would have beat them down first thing.

Posted by: rlr260 at March 11, 2008 4:25 PM

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