Sorry for all the “Melrose Place” updates, guys. I don’t know if I’m more horrified or excited by this remake, but one thing I do know is that it’s my most anticipated series for next fall. It is going to be a pile of heavenly suck. (EvilBeet)
Hayden Paniter-something-or other is getting too big for her britches. Which is funny, because her britches are the same ones worn by Keebler Elves to begin with. (WIMB)
Illinois says: “Fuck all y’all, we still consider Pluto a planet.” Fair enough. (QuizLaw)
Nathan Fillion talks to the A.V. Club! Woo! (AVClub)
Sarah (Sarina) sent this to me on Friday, and I refuse to watch it. Refuse, I say! But for anyone who feels like horking up their lunch, by all means click away. Just don’t blame me, this one is all Sarah. (UniqueDaily)
The Film Experience interviews Kristen Scott Thomas! (FilmExperience)
Nickelodeon’s most innocent, innocuous character is getting a “fashion makeover.” There is no way this isn’t a bad idea. (AgentBedhead)
Martha Stewart twittered that her dog died tragically. An hour later, she twitters what she’s making for lunch. I’m not making that up. (DListed)
See people? This is why mankind were just not meant to fuck robots. It can only lead to trouble. And chafing. Thanks, celery! (MuckFlash)
Guess which actress The Mac Guy is dating now? Spoiler alert! Someone else from that retarded movie! (Celebitchy)
Anyone see Jessica Biel do Jessica Rabbit on SNL this weekend? (Popoholic)
Is that Ryan Seacrest looking so fine? No, probably not, but this is pretty much the least offensive thing I could find to link from DrunkenStepfather today. Site NSFW! (DrunkenStepfather)
Here’s a handy little guide for how literally anybody can be a television writer. (MightyGodKing)
“Houston Zoo To Unveil OH DEAR GOD THAT IS CUTE.” Thanks, ed! (HoustonPress)
Miley Cyrus…. A Vampire? Eh, at least she’s not a zombie:
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
I complained about this in another thread at probably the exact time this went up. CRAZY. Melrose Place is going to suck worse than the original series.
Posted by: Sabrina at March 9, 2009 1:09 PM
Honestly, Jessica Biel looked better as Jessica Rabbit than I've ever seen her look before. I don't know why, but she always looked a little bland to me but she absolutely was not there.
On a side note, when can we expect Justin Timberlake to be added to the opening credits as a cast member? I'd totally watch more regularly if he was.
Also, I am no fan of Hayden Panettiere and will beat the girl down to get a shot at her new, super hot, love interest on Heroes, but I have a personal space thing and would probably go off on people touching me without permission also. Especially if I was in a tight dress and uncomfortable shoes and had to stand there looking at blinding flash-bulbs for five minutes and just wanted to sit down and take some migraine medicine.
Yeah, yeah, "price of fame". Whatever, I get tired of this constantly being shocked that celebrities act like real people occasionally.
Forget hugging, I go straight for the ass-grabbing. If that robot tried to hug me, I'd just feel up its sweet, smooth, metal backside.
Posted by: Sabrina at March 9, 2009 1:51 PM
The thing is, Genny, she knows she's going to be touched, especially if she's in a sea of press and she's famous. I think she's just immature. It's not that hard being polite.
Sofía - I've always kind of considered touching to be the line. Paparazzi basically get a free pass on stalking and (to a certain extent) sexually harassing these young women because they're public figures, so if they're allowed to touch you anytime they want your attention, or touch you in whatever way they feel will get your attention, what does that lead to?
Then again, I'm probably more sympathetic thanks to endless family reunions where my desire for personal space and disinclination towards being touched at random was basically mocked and disregarded turning me into a giant, twitchy spaz about unwanted contact.
Genny, I completely understand if people don't wish to be touched by strangers, but I'm all for good manners and grace. She snapped at a reporter who was doing her job, and I know touching isn't a part of it, but seriously, you do not treat people like that. If touching someone without their permission is rude then you should teach by giving the example, and that is being polite.
Aw, fuck yeah. That's one small redeeming point for my state, after all the recent humiliation. I never stopped considering Pluto a planet... you can't just demote shit after like 80 years. It's rude.
So... yeah. Go home team Illinois! (whoop whoop)
Oh, and Martha Stewart is a heartless hag. Jesus, that chow chow is smiling in that picture! He's actually ^_^ing! How can you cook Chinese food after hearing he perished horrifically in a fire?!
I can't feel sorry for Hayden "Why do those shitheads from Heroes have such hard to spell last names?" Panettiere. It's purely because I loathe anything associated with the clusterfuck that is Heroes.
Oh, and Bedhead's Dora the Explora article was mortifying. Those hacks at Nickelodeon have no limit to how low they will sink.
Posted by: George at March 9, 2009 3:38 PM
Or even Jimmy Carter. Shit.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 9, 2009 3:38 PM
I am looking forward to Diego and Dora knocking Boots.
Posted by: admin at March 9, 2009 3:43 PM
I weep for a future where the Academy Award nominees for Best Actress include Miley Cyrus, Ashlee Simpson and Hayden Panettiere. Dakota Fanning is going to be the most awarded actress of all time at this rate.
I don't watch Dora the Explorer, but I always thought when I had kids it would be a harmless show to put the kidlets in front of, maybe learn some Spanish and shit. But, as with everything else halfway decent on this planet, people have to fuck it up. I think people in movies and television feel that since they weren't creative enough to make something, if they change it in some way, it becomes their idea. But I can't think of a tweak ever where it wasn't painful to watch. They bring in the young cute kid who can't act and is annoying. They add the sassy black sidekick. They incorporate dancing and, Godtopus forbid, rapping in a show.
Keep it simple, Stupid, According to Jim should be the cultural blueprint for staying under the radar and keeping on the air. Don't do anything new or smart and you will keep your show running.
Dora will be off the air in two years with these changes. And on to the donkey show con Pedro.
I'm just glad that Dora's knowledge of Foods that Begin with Q will help her on Jeopardy.
That's a classic right there, Prisco.
"My mother was too drunk to be an astronaut."
Posted by: branded at March 9, 2009 4:33 PM
I wonder if the giant belly zit was an infected piercing?
Ugh, but also...... kind of satisfying.
What?
I hope Castle doesn't suck. I can't take another Dollhouse disappointment. (Though ok, last night's ep, not so bad at all. Still far too much Eliza-ogling by the camera though. We get it, she's hot, move along.)
I know the artist Nathan talks about near the end of that interview - I think his project is still under wraps, or I'd show y'all. It features Nathan heavily, though, which is always a good thing!
Posted by: Tarn at March 9, 2009 5:46 PM
This new comments layout is cool and all, but it doesn't wrap around properly. Not from what I'm seeing, anyway. Some words getting snipped. Tweak required?
Posted by: Tarn at March 9, 2009 5:49 PM
Works perfectly for me!
admin...poor Boots.
Can YOU see where Diego is? BOOTS can see! Point to where he is! point! that's right! in his BUTT! In his TRASERO!
Figgy, you have taught me a valuable word today.
And I love the amount of Pajibans who are admitting to relating to the Maniacal Hug-Bot.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at March 9, 2009 6:57 PM
I'm just an idea man figgy, it's up to others to take my ideas to their logically deviant conclusions.
Posted by: admin at March 9, 2009 6:59 PM
Tarn, are you using Internet Explorer? The right side looks fine for me at home (Firefox), but at work (IE), it gets lopped off.
I really hope "Castle" doesn't suck. The commercials don't look super inviting though. And this last episode of "Dollhouse" was better than earlier eps, but still not a show I would be watching if Joss wasn't attached.
I was having a snack while checking out the belly button video, I will NEVER learn.
Posted by: Alli at March 9, 2009 7:17 PM
Lainey, I am skipping a dose of NyQuil and attempting to stay awake until 10pm so I can watch "Castle". It better not fucking suck, or I am gonna be pissed as hell. Me and my six billion germs could totally be unconscious right now!
Ooh that's on tonight? The trailers make it look kinda silly, but damn Nathan Fillion looks quite jumpable. And I never found him particularly attractive before...
That baby panda is adorable-cuddlebug-ness wrapped in a pile of fluffy cuteness. Does it remind anyone else of Sonic the Hedgehog's little sidekick that used to randomly fly around and die if he didn't have someone holding on to that second controller?
Posted by: LB at March 9, 2009 11:29 PM
Yes, that Panda is cute as a Bug's Knuckles.
That's even cuter than the Bee's Knees!
Posted by: Odnon at March 10, 2009 12:07 AM
Am I the only one curious as to how jM feels about red pandas?
I am. Seriously, is there a panda too cute for her to molest?
Good God, that little Red Panda is a bundle of cute wrapped in sunshine and tied in a bow of "awwwws".
And I'm gonna do it.
Posted by: jM at March 10, 2009 12:28 AM
Oh, figgy,
I was demoralized by Dora, but when I checked out good ol' Strawberry and the Puff girls, well, I'm about ready to give up as a parent. They are out to program all our daughters into Hills cast members aren't they, those sick, sick bastards.
Any way to convince my daughter that belly button thing was caused by chafing fishnets? Or that it was actually Ashlee Simpson's latest surgery?
Posted by: replica at March 10, 2009 2:02 AM
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Posted by: Mix at March 10, 2009 4:52 AM
Well, this thread is dead. Fucking spambots.
Posted by: George at March 10, 2009 10:26 AM
Re Odnon "Re: that belly button video.
I'm with you, glittergirl.
We definitely need to develop an "un-see" button on computers."
after watching that belly button video, i'd like an "un-see" button for my mind!
Lainey,
yes, I'm on IE. I haven't tried at home yet (Where I use Safari).
It's kind of annoying me though. After all, the place I have the most time to surf is work (don't ask) and I'm stuck with IE here.
I mean, the stuff just kept coming, and coming, and the size of that hole...like some pus-producing portal to hell...it was just...I mean, Jesus! Next time post more of a warning!
Although it was kinda satisfying, in a squeamish, demented sort of way.
I complained about this in another thread at probably the exact time this went up. CRAZY. Melrose Place is going to suck worse than the original series.