Thanks to reader Zeppellyn for suggesting this link in yesterday’s Pajiba Love comments: “30 Things That Should Never be Adapted to Film.” (Cracked)
Let’s hope the “Seinfeld Curse” returns for a special farewell performance. (WIMB)
And just like that, Robert Downey Jr. dashes to bits all of the goodwill he’s built up for himself in recent years. (IDLYITW)
One of my favorite things about America is that we love our fast food so much, we want our candy to resemble it. (The Impulsive Buy)
Oh, damn. Today would be the day too, when I decide to stop watching the “Today” show to make fun of it, and I go and miss a Subway sandwich getting torn apart with a car wash hose. (Deus Ex Malcontent)
If you’re a high school administrator and getting called a “douchebag” is the worst thing that happens to you? Well, you probably live in the Connecticut suburbs. Douchebag. (QuizLaw)
Jessica Simpson’s vadge is not unlike a “Goonie” adventure! (KSK)
Why not spend 40 grand bejeweling a laptop which will be out of date in two-three years? (Celebitchy)
Check out this awesome “Arrested Development” trivia quiz! Not to brag, but I got 17 out of 20. Score! (mental floss)
Raise your hand if you’re a T-shirt connoisseur! Oh yeah, if your hand is up, you’re probably white. (StuffWhitePeopleLike)
Seriously, Whedon?! It wasn’t enough to make Willow go gay? Not that I have anything against lesbians, but girls don’t just “go gay” overnight in real life. Not at this pace, anyway. Dammit. (Galley Slaves)
"Old fashioned superstitions
I find too hard to break
Oh maybe you're out of place
Whats good enough for you is good enough...for me
it's good enough...it's good enough for me...
Ay yi yi yi yi!!!"
Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2008 3:40 PM
Buffy, for all current evidence, is bi. Not that it matters as this is a Whedon show and Satsu is now utterly doomed.
Also, season eight is awesome.
Posted by: twig at March 7, 2008 3:42 PM
Good Lord, is that really Robert Downey Jr?
I need to sit down.
Posted by: Brie at March 7, 2008 3:45 PM
Is it my imagination or are Robert Downey, Jr.'s palms black, too?
Oh no, if you click on the picture to make it bigger, Ben Stiller is in the foreground, with a gun, and a tattoo. I'm so not seeing this movie.
Posted by: BWeaves at March 7, 2008 3:49 PM
I scored a zero.
That's right, Pajibans. I said a zero. Because I, without exaggeration, have never seen a single second of Arrested Development.
I got to question 5 when I realized I didn't know as much as I thought I did. I'm obviously gonna have to rewatch them all again...3 times wasn't enough.
Jessica Simpson's fuckhole is filled with treacherous booby traps.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!
I had read about the Buffy comic's latest....direction. In all fairness...so? So what if it's possibly jumping the shark and a gratuitous attempt to bring in more readers through controversy. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...
Now I want a giant marshmallow pizza to comfort myself...but where would I find something so outrageous...?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 7, 2008 3:54 PM
That's right, Pajibans. I said a zero. Because I, without exaggeration, have never seen a single second of Arrested Development.
That's the story on "Tropic Thunder". I'm cautiously interested. Will it be the best thing since "Hollywood Shuffle" in industry satires? No idea.
TK, lemme draw some fire for ya. I had to stop watching first season dvd copies I was given because it was just too goddamn uncomfortable. I wasn't having enough fun to take the pain (but I'm an incredible tension sponge). Also, I've never watched "Friday Night Lights" or "Lost" and I couldn't care less. I don't have James Hong on my blog either.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...
Aww. Poor Xander.
Alabama, no one can come close to Sloth's awesomeness. "Hey youuuuu guuuuys!"
Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2008 4:01 PM
9 out of 20...fuck, off to dig up dvd's...
TK- Really? You are a connoisseur of quality shows like The Wire, but no AD?
[cue Seinfeld voice] What's the deal with that?
Posted by: Riles at March 7, 2008 4:01 PM
My roommate has the original Sloth shirt from when the Goonies came out, barely preserved but still serviceable and legible....and the fucker refuses to let me steal it from him.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 7, 2008 4:05 PM
Oh no! Jay's link to the Robert Downey, Jr. movie includes, "watch for cameos from Tom Cruise and Tobey Maguire."
Posted by: BWeaves at March 7, 2008 4:08 PM
Shadows, have you never heard of a little practice called "smothering your roommate to sleep?"
Speaking of roommates, mine left for her trip to Turkey today. Yay, a lovely empty apartment, just for ME.
Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2008 4:09 PM
...to death in their sleep. Mental. Midget.
Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2008 4:10 PM
Riles, here's the real deal on my TV watching: Up until recently, The Wire was literally the only TV show I followed. I've recently caught up with Battlestar Galactica, so now that's on the list. I actually don't watch a lot of TV... I never really recovered from the death of Firefly.
And Julie, darlin', they only respond to me directly. Imitating my voice will only cause them to turn on you.
I did think of that...but he does the cooking...I don't want to have to take on that responsibility too... (hmmm...unless I somehow incorporate the two together, a la Sweeney Todd?)
And don't mention midgets to me.
[shudders when he thinks of clowns and midgets and wheels now...]
Poor TK and Jay and Alabamapink...so sad. However, now nobody can yell at me for not seeing Better Off Dead. I at least have the excuse of not being in the country when it came out.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 7, 2008 4:19 PM
but girls don't just "go gay" overnight in real life. Not at this pace, anyway. Dammit.
Try harder. Several Pajiba females seem to have gotten it down quite well.
but girls don't just "go gay" overnight in real life. Not at this pace, anyway.
I love how anyone thinks this is actually anything monumental for a character like Buffy. She's died, twice. Her first and greatest love turned evil and tried to kill her and everyone she loves. Her sister doesn't exist, her mom died, she's seen all kinds of friends and acquaintences killed in horrible ways. She nearly died again only to be saved by a best friend who then went evil and tried to destroy the world.
I don't think 'sex with girls' is really at the top of the life-altering list when you've been The Slayer for nearly a decade.
Posted by: twig at March 7, 2008 4:32 PM
"...the scene where they dress up as Oompa Loompas and go to town on a girl..."
Hell no, TK...you threaten my love, she's now handless because of you...and then dare attack me? I got my Rush tape, and my sword back from the shop...
[slowly draws sword and waves it threateningly]
Bring em.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 7, 2008 4:35 PM
TK: I thought I was the only one. It's been so lonely.
I did give AD a chance. I read all the glowing reviews & shit so I sat down and watched it. I watched one episode through to the end. And I could see where the funny was supposed to be, you know; but it just wasn't my kind of funny. So I've never watched any more of it.
I've always thought I was atypical, though, because I hated Seinfeld and Friends too (in fact, I don't know which I hate more). And I know I go against most of the rest of the world in that opinion.
Posted by: Jerce at March 7, 2008 4:37 PM
Oh, and I forgot to mention: I also find The Office to be obnoxious and irritating.
The reason is very simple: I spend a third of my life in an office, enduring the antics of assholes and idiots. So, when I escape from that, and come home, and get all comfy on the couch and power up the teevee, what pleasure am I supposed to get from watching the antics of assholes and idiots?
Posted by: Jerce at March 7, 2008 4:41 PM
Jerce: I did give AD a chance. I read all the glowing reviews & shit so I sat down and watched it. I watched one episode through to the end. And I could see where the funny was supposed to be, you know; but it just wasn't my kind of funny. So I've never watched any more of it.
I had to watch two episodes to get it; didn't help that the first I saw wasn't the first episode (strong continuity)
Posted by: cockroach at March 7, 2008 4:43 PM
Jerce
[giant hug]
I hated Seinfeld as well. And Friends. And I've never seen The Office, either the domestic or imported versions.
Now I do have love for the The Office because it's fun to laugh out loud at the weirdos and asshats from the cube farm because I couldn't really do it in real life without getting a talkin' to. Mr. Pink did have some trouble at first with the discomforting humor of both the UK and US versions.
Every time I watched Seinfeld, I couldn't laugh because I hated those characters so much. Supereme Assholes, the lot of them.
And TK, what is up? How is that you went from member of the undead horde to Master Necromancer? Man, I just can't play your reindeer games anymore.
Well it's not like Buffy's had several bad relationships with men. Except that one time when her boyfriend went evil and tried to kill her and all of her friends. Or that other time that that happened. Or Riley. Ech, I'm surprised she didn't go gay right then.
Posted by: hopit at March 7, 2008 5:06 PM
I got my Rush tape, and my sword back from the shop...
Hee, Shadows, for some reason when I saw "Rush" I started singing "Africa" by Toto. Don't ask how my mind works.
For anyone interested, Entertainment Weekly.com has a great interview with Rob McElhenny from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia about next season...apparently Dee (might be) getting pregnant, moving in with the adoptive parents, and exploiting them for money.
I could not love the degenerates of that show any more.
Posted by: Julie at March 7, 2008 5:13 PM
I own a Goonies softball jersey style shirt with the logo on the front, and the words "Chunk 85" on the back. Of course, because I'm a little butterball, everyone demands that I do the Truffle Shuffle when I wear it.
Does anyone here know when Tarsem's "The Fall" is coming to theaters/DVD ?
Posted by: io at March 7, 2008 5:30 PM
TK & Jerce, I love you both! I've also never seen Arrested Development or The Office, and I effing hate Seinfeld with a fiery passion and think Friends is the most insipidly boring thing on the planet. You guys make the world seem right, when I know it's so wrong!
Although (and this will probably earn me a munching from the zombie hordes) I've also never seen The Wire or Battlestar Galactica or Firefly. I just plain don't watch a lot of television.
And stop with the Seinfeld hating. Although, to be fair, a show like "Curb Your Enthusiasm" with Jerry instead of Larry would, indeed, just be Seinfeld. What's up with that?
Posted by: Armando at March 7, 2008 5:49 PM
Completely off the topic but...
Does anyone here know when Tarsem's "The Fall" is coming to theaters/DVD ?
I would like to know this as well. I caught the trailer online and it took my breath away. I want to see this movie.
Posted by: Jerce at March 7, 2008 5:52 PM
I'd take Buffy doing a chick instead of Spike ANY day.
That said, I totally agree. Buffy is 27 now, right? She's not an 18 year old college freshman who "experiments". Joss said that this was a one time thing, it wasn't phase, Buffy isn't bi. She just slept with a woman. If any of those things were true, I would believe it way more. I do not believe for one second that the Buffy presented to us for 7, kind of 8, seasons would have slept with a woman.
Posted by: Scoithniamh at March 7, 2008 5:53 PM
I do not believe for one second that the Buffy presented to us for 7, kind of 8, seasons would have slept with a woman.
You haven't been watching the same Buffy I have.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 7, 2008 5:57 PM
Jerce,likewise I got interested in the movie after seeing the trailer. It's absolutely stunning! (Lee Pace doesn't hurt either.)
I've beein googling away and still can't find any release date info anywhere.
Posted by: io at March 7, 2008 6:00 PM
Sarina, me either. I have not seen the last 3 things that you mentioned. I only had my HBO for The Sopranos.
I can watch Arrested Development, but I was never as insane about as other shows, like my beloved Alias or Project Runway. I loathe Seinfeld. I don't understand the popularity of that show. I can see why it should be funny, but Jerry Seinfeld irritates the hell out of me.
I love the Office. I am so ready for it to come back to my tv.
Posted by: Melody at March 7, 2008 6:27 PM
Buffy slept with another woman? You know, I thought I heard the faint sound of a million fanboys masturbating in unison.
I will agree, though, that the comic series is so far better than nearly anything from the show's last two seasons. Buffy seems to become a far more sympathetic character when Sarah Michelle Geller is removed from the equation. Of course, getting a story arc by Brian K. Vaughn (Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina, Runaways, etc.) never hurts.
Posted by: Master Mahan at March 7, 2008 7:13 PM
I have gloriously pwned all of you. 20 out of 20. Oh yeah, I said it. This is why my head has no room for normal things, like my boyfriend-of-five-years' phone number.
Posted by: vaguelyamish at March 7, 2008 7:25 PM
20 out of 20! It's an exclusive club, vaguelyamish; I'm proud to be a part of it.
Posted by: Geetch at March 7, 2008 7:33 PM
Oh damn, io, thank you for mentioning 'The Fall.' I just watched the trailer - damn!
Posted by: twig at March 7, 2008 7:39 PM
heh-heh.
t-shirts. i collected t-shirts like some collect stamps. i graduated high school in '77. add to that a brother 6 years older than me.
i am so white i glow in the dark.
i have a spiro t. agnew joke t-shirt. wearable, but not allowed to be worn. the problem is, nobody remembers who agnew was. oh, well.
Posted by: bionic bunny at March 7, 2008 9:06 PM
Geetch, vaguelyamish, I bow to your superior knowledge.
I want to go on record to those Pajibans who are lumping Seinfeld and Friends on their hate list that just because one likes Seinfeld does not mean one would inevitably like Friends, one of the most vapid, obnoxious, self-important and consistently annoying shows in the history of television.
Return to your lives, citizens.
Posted by: Armando at March 7, 2008 9:30 PM
Never seen AD either but I got a 4/20.
Hell yes.
Posted by: Stew at March 7, 2008 9:51 PM
"His latest film, The Fall, premiered at the Toronto Film Festival in 2006 and is set for a wide release this April."
Why it premiered two years ago is beyond me, but it looks like it's out Soon(tm).
Posted by: mb at March 7, 2008 10:03 PM
Stuff White People Like is funny
and then you read more of it
and then it's just kind of mean.
Posted by: Meredith at March 7, 2008 11:41 PM
18 out of 20. I deserve a drink . . . excuse me . . .
Posted by: Elfrieda at March 7, 2008 11:44 PM
Don't worry, TK, I also score 0 of 0 on the Arrested Development quiz. Then again, I don't watch TV, even though I'm not a white person.
By the way, why the great worry about Buffy? Women are wonderful to love so long as you don't let them break your hearts. Vadge is delicious, nutritious, good for your skin, full of antioxidants, low in calories, and it may help prevent tooth decay.
Posted by: Kris at March 7, 2008 11:55 PM
18 out of 20. I'll have to break out the DVDs as penance.
The last Buffy season 8 comic I read was number 7. Not by my choice, it's just depressingly difficult to get a hold of them in Australia for any un-outrageous price. Is Dawn still a giant?
Posted by: James at March 8, 2008 7:42 AM
By the way, why the great worry about Buffy? Women are wonderful to love so long as you don't let them break your hearts. Vadge is delicious, nutritious, good for your skin, full of antioxidants, low in calories, and it may help prevent tooth decay.
Dammit, if this isn't in a Eloquents roundup, I am going to riot.
I liked The Sopranos, though there was a definite dip in quality over the last couple of seasons.
The Wire, however, knocks it into a cocked hat.
Easily.
Posted by: Simon B at March 8, 2008 12:08 PM
Wait - if Buffy's going to have sex with a woman, shouldn't it be Faith? I have no idea if that is possible story-wise (haven't read any season 8), but, come on, it's Baith - the ship that never sailed....
"I'd take Buffy doing a chick instead of Spike ANY day."
Scoithniamh
Who says it has to be instead? Spuffy was kind of hot, I'd keep that and add some Baith!
Yeah. I have clearly regressed a few years to my Buffygeek persona. Sorry about that. Must be because I have a convention to attend next weekend....
Posted by: Tarn at March 8, 2008 3:35 PM
20/20! I may or may not spend most of my waking free time watching AD.
Posted by: Cantankerous at March 8, 2008 6:14 PM
What exactly is so wrong about Downey playing a black man in the comedy Tropic Thunder? Whoopi Goldberg (The Associate) and Eddie Murphy (Norbit, etc) have played white people, not to mention the Wayans brothers (dreadful) White Chicks. Oh yeah, it's supposedly racist for a white person to put on black face. So that means that beloved, brilliant Joni Mitchell was a racist when she appeared as a black dude on the cover of Don Juan's Reckless Daughter, right? Didn't keep Prince, Seal, and Herbie Hancock from being three of her many fans did it?
From article on the role from UK's Daily Mail:
"But the backlash has clearly begun as one comment on a showbiz blog Just Jared said: "I'm not black and I find it offensive; are there not any talented enough black actors out in the world that they feel the need to hire a white guy to do a black guy?"
"They are infering that there are no good enough black actors to play a black person.
"What is the significance of hiring a white guy to play a black part? what are they trying to prove? I bet its to get more publicity."
But in support of Downey's satirical role another comment on the blog said: "I'm black too, and if they were satirising black people yes it would be offensive. but they're not.
"It's FUNNY because they're NOT legitimising negative racial stereotypes, anyone with a brain in his/her head can see how painfully clear that is." (source: Wikipedia article on Tropic Thunder)
Posted by: Matt at March 9, 2008 7:09 PM
I was all shocked when I saw that Buffy link- just because the type of person she has been with all her lovers, i wouldn't see her as a "just experimenting" type of person.
but i guess what someone said earlier is right too- this really isn't the most life-altering event...
all that being said, i do think it is a little exploitive.
Posted by: dene at March 9, 2008 9:47 PM
Oh God. That guy was bitching about the marshmallow pizza? He obviously hasn't tasted the fluffy, shapeless vomit that someone with a sick sense of humor shaped into a burger-like form, and me with my innocent tastebuds, thought may be similar to a Crabby Patty.
OH GODDAMMIT, HOW I WAS WRONG.
Seriously. I gagged, spit it out my car window, and cried like Chris Crocker.
Posted by: Jaci at March 9, 2008 10:44 PM
mb,
thank you for the info! April isn't so far away..
Posted by: io at March 10, 2008 3:10 AM
Hate to brag (going to anyway) but 20/20 on the AD. To be fair I did recently watch all three seasons back to back (2 months ago) but I do have a freakishly good memory for mostly irrelevant facts - its safe to say I get invited to pub quizzes alot...
sigh... I need new friends
Posted by: Colombo at March 10, 2008 5:58 AM
Matt, just to clarify: it's not the blackface that offends me; it's the appearing alongside Ben Stiller and Jack Black.
err...ummm....10 out of 20 on the AD quiz. Yikes. Work has turned my brain to mush...
That said, I am all about that LOLcats movie, but don't steal my idea, 'cuz I am already halfway through a screenplay about the kitten coming back to stalk teh internets from that one movie that came out this year. Diane Lane is not yet attahced, somehow. Still working on that.
14 out of 20 :( I need to bust out my dvds.
"Old fashioned superstitions
I find too hard to break
Oh maybe you're out of place
Whats good enough for you is good enough...for me
it's good enough...it's good enough for me...
Ay yi yi yi yi!!!"