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So He Probably Wouldn't Find It Funny If Someone Told Him That Hair Made Him Look Like an Old Lesbain, Either?

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (51)



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A Sascha Baron Cohen spoof of Avatar (which sounded kind of dumb anyway, to be honest) got nixed from this weekend’s Oscars due to James Cameron not having what we like to refer to as a “sense of goddamn humor.” (Film Drunk)

If you missed Roger Ebert on “Oprah” yesterday, you can catch a clip of it here. Oh God, did I really just write something about missing “Oprah?” (Screen Junkies)

Because the internet really does have everything, there’s even a website devoted entirely to stupid hipsters hugging a Joanna Newsom album. (People Hugging the New Joanna Newsom Album)

You’re not going to believe me when I tell you that two Australian television hosts playing wii curling will be the funniest thing you see all day —no, week — so you’re just going to have to trust my juvenile sense of humor on this one. (Warming Glow)

I don’t know which of these things is worse, the fact that George Lopez still inexplicably has a talk show or that the cast of “Jersey Shore” spoofed The Hurt Locker on it. (Litelysalted)

I’m not even joking, next time I go to get my hair done I’m taking a picture of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt with me, I love her new hair so much (although I still want Suri’s wardrobe), but apparently certain news outlets are accusing her of turning “into a boy.” (Celebitchy)

Those of you pant-wettingly excited for MacGruber are going to have to wait just a little bit longer now. (The Playlist)

I haven’t promoted Phillip Stephen’s podcast in awhile, but they just had a brand new episode go up yesterday so head on over and give it a listen! (Drive-In Speakerbox)

John Williams continues his top 100 list of favorite movies with numbers 75 through 71. (ASWOBA)

It’s getting to the point in this season of “American Idol” where I can’t take much more of “American Idol” — and yes my mom really did just name her new puppy after a current contestant I’m not making that up — but here’s a recap of last night’s episode, for those of you inclined. (Hairballs)

An amazing cartographer finally drew up a map of the internet. (Unreality)

You “Lost”-nerds are going to blow your loads over this: A “Simpsonized” wallpaper of the entire cast. (Springfield Punx)

Hey guys! Our own Cindy’s husband started up a new website geared towards technology geeks, so if you happen to be one of those you should totally go check it out! (Techmatic)

Candy Spelling finally let cameras into her 50,000 square feet mansion named “The Manor,” which she lives in alone with her dog and her jellybeans. (DListed)

Wow. I didn’t think “ice dancing” could exceed my expectations of being dumb with some of the stuff I saw last week, but here you go. Thanks to the lovely and amazing Parissa!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









Lost: Sundown Recap | The Yellow Handkerchief Review













Comments

The Roger Ebert interview on Oprah yesterday was absolutely fantastic. He is a very inspiring human being. I've got a new level of respect for the man.

I don't think Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is boyish. When kids are that age they can be very opinionated about their clothing, hairstyle, etc. When my daughter was that age I couldn't get her to wear a dress for any amount of bribery. Often times she was mistaken for a boy. She is the most feminine young woman now though.

Posted by: Jadine at March 3, 2010 1:13 PM

Is she that freaky warbling elf that plays the harp or some shit?

Posted by: Jay at March 3, 2010 1:15 PM

Fucking Canadians and their lack of humour! Who the hell do they think they are? Let's invade them and take their jerbs!

Posted by: admin at March 3, 2010 1:18 PM

Cindy, mr. dammit is a total techno-ma-geek-nerd, so forwarding your hubsters site to him.

Posted by: dammitjanet at March 3, 2010 1:20 PM

These "internet maps" are all non-sensical and irrelevant until you realize the planet Internet is revolving around a Sun labeled PORN, PORN , DIRTY PORN, DIRTY BUT YOU CAN'T LOOK AWAY PORN, PORN FOR ONLY A DOZEN GUYS WHO NEVER LEAVE THE BASEMENT, PORN THATS OKAY FOR BOTH SEXES, FAN FICTION, CARTOON & TENTACLE RAPE PORN, ONLY THE JAPANESE GET OFF ON THIS SHIT PORN, AND PICTURES OF RYAN REYNOLDS' ABS.

Posted by: D-Day at March 3, 2010 1:24 PM

After the "Esquire" piece, I fell in love with Roger Ebert all over again (I used to be a big "At the Movies" fanatic and I loved, LOVED his "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" screenplay!) I almost gave my husband a heart attack when he saw that I DVRed "Oprah" yesterday to see the interview, as I have never watched her show before. He was relieved to know it was a one-time deal. The segment, by the way, was awesome - and I think Mrs. Ebert is the most awesome wife ever.

Posted by: SugarKane at March 3, 2010 1:31 PM

SugarKane, I agree. Chaz Ebert's devotion to her husband is beautiful.

Posted by: Jadine at March 3, 2010 1:37 PM

God, just on that first page, there are 3 hipsters wearing those fake, black rimmed glasses.

I'm going to go punch one in the nuts. They make it easy, because they're all wearing women's jeans.

Posted by: sarahk at March 3, 2010 1:44 PM

That Wii curling video is the funniest thing I've seen all day.

Posted by: Snath at March 3, 2010 1:50 PM

As a vaguely hipsterish music critic, I just want to point out that Joanna Newsom is amazing.

And, sarahk, those glasses are like a calling card; you know who's got the best record collection by how thick and cheap the glasses are. The cheaper, the more money they've thrown away on vinyl. If you're going to really hit them where it hurts, steal their record stash. Just saying, as a hipster myself, nothing would piss off a hipster more.

Posted by: ChristianH at March 3, 2010 1:56 PM

I don't think that's ice dancing - that's ice skating. Ice dancing is a particular subset of ice skating that focuses on footwork and does not involve all the jumping. The stupid costumes, however...

Posted by: Three-nineteen at March 3, 2010 1:57 PM

AHEM. We prefer to be called "Losties."

Thanks.

Posted by: Roaddog at March 3, 2010 2:21 PM

Fuck you in the ear, gossip magazines. So FUCKING what if the girl wants to dress in pants and not skirts? So fucking what if she doesn't want her hair long, or if she doesn't want to dress all in pink and ruffles? So fucking what if she doesn't want to look like a mini Barbie? Like that blog said, what fucking century are we living in that people are outraged that a girl doesn't want to dress the way some fucking old ladies want her to dress? I say good on you, Shiloh. Keep fucking with social expectations, because they are absolute bullshit. And good on Angelina for not parading her beautiful daughter around in mini-hooker heels and purses like the Cruises do with Suri. I want to beat some people up now.

Posted by: figgy at March 3, 2010 2:24 PM

If there was one thing Nirvana was missing, it's splits.

Posted by: jM at March 3, 2010 2:25 PM

i have thus far successfully avoided american idol. this is the first year i don't have a fucking clue as to what's going on, and i have to say, i'm lovin' it. mcdonald's-style.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 3, 2010 2:27 PM

If courtney hadn't killed kurt, that video would've.

ZING!

Posted by: Johnny Von Awesome at March 3, 2010 2:28 PM

Yeah, something smells up there and it ain't teen spirit. A puddle of soiled KY perhaps?

Posted by: Kballs at March 3, 2010 2:43 PM

Ugh, that Sascha Baron Cohen thing sounded terrible. Whatthefuck.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at March 3, 2010 2:45 PM

Hey, I said I thought Shiloh was transgendered on FB a couple days ago! I've never seen that girl in even remotely feminine closing. I have no issue with her if she is trangendered and like I said on FB (and lots of you can attest) if she IS, and she is more than just tomboyish, her rents seem to be handling it VERY well and she seems, for all intents and purposes, a happy kid.

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 2:46 PM

I want to also point out 'short hair and trousers at 3 dont equal lesbian' isn't strictly true.

I know a few lesbos who never, ever wore dresses, even as toddlers, would change into jeans...So.

Yeah.

But please, dont lets turn this into a flamefest.
If Shiloh is a tomboy, she's a tomboy, if she's more than 'just' a tomboy, so be it. As I said before, she seems happy and well adjusted and her parents seem to be letting her explore her identity, wants, likes etc, at her own pace so...

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 2:49 PM

Maybe 'lesbos' will come off...badly.

Lesbians. They let me call them lesbos though.

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 2:51 PM

i think "thespians" is the current pc term.

i have short hair and i've gotten the "but you don't seem like a lesbian."

then again, i did wear pretty pink dresses as a toddler. it just wasn't meant to be, i reckon.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 3, 2010 3:02 PM

My glasses are cheap and black and I hate uppity-ass hipsters.

Posted by: Jay at March 3, 2010 3:08 PM

Can I call thespians thespos?
I had hair shorter than Shiloh's not three years ago, while I was at university, and I wore jeans. A lot. Short hair and trousers dont = Lesbionicism.
The only reason I think what I do about Shiloh is that she doesn't wear like, girls jeans and t-shirts-her clothes clearly come from the boys section of the kid clothing store.

But shit, if she's into peter pan and identifies with the male characters, who have the most fun any way, then I dont want to fault her.
If she IS transgendered or gay, from such an early age, well with her parents and position she's set to be a helluva little icon isnt she?

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 3:10 PM

That "Manor" strikes me as a fun place to explore for about a month, but living there? HELL NO. Truckloads of gypsies could be camped out at the other end and you'd never know. Her poor dog staggered dazed into the shot like he'd been lost for weeks and forgotten what his owner looked like.

There's something profoundly wrong with that much excess. Why does one person need that much space, and that much crap to fill all that space? You could probably run ten hospitals on the fossil fuels she burns just to keep her place lit for one night. Despicable.

If she's having trouble spending all her money, I can direct her to several thousand charities. Maybe she could close off two of her three GIFT WRAPPING ROOMS and feed a few people instead.

Posted by: DeadBessie at March 3, 2010 3:13 PM

If even one room of The Manor has jelly beans, I'm there.
I FUCKING LOVE JELLY BEANS.

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 3:23 PM

What's a "lesbain"?

Posted by: Slash at March 3, 2010 3:24 PM

All I can tell you is that as a mommy of a just-now four year old girl - you don't get to pick what they wear. Children at that age are delightful little sociopaths who are making the grasp for power - THEY tend to dictate what's what, and as long as you get those winter tights and sweaters on somehow, your best move is to let them express themselves - because who the heck does it harm if they wear what they want? My daughter looks like Holly Hobby merged with a goth today. Fine by me.

She is also currently doing the pretty princess/'be a marriage woman' thing. It's a big thing at daycare. Okay. But then again, two weeks ago I barely caught her in time, trying to give herself the peppy short 'boy' hairdo she'd been talking about.She can have it short if she wants, but her concept of changing back was to have me glue it back on, so we chose to bide a wee on that idea. She also wishes she had a penis for 'more fun peeing'.

I defend the Jolie! Normalcy doesn't sell papers, vitriol does.

Posted by: replica at March 3, 2010 3:27 PM

"lesbain" = something something kurt cobain.

i haven't quite worked it out yet.

nadine, i respect your aggressive love of jelly beans.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 3, 2010 3:33 PM

and yes, "thespos" is so hot right now.

Posted by: stopthemadness at March 3, 2010 3:33 PM

I believe the proper term is "vagitarian."

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 3, 2010 3:34 PM

Um. Replica your kid is a bad ass. Nuff said.

Aye, like I've often said, I dont like Jolie. I dont. Something about her rubs me the wrong way. I feel like I wouldnt trust her if I knew her personally.
But she seems content to let her kids be comfy.

I remember not long ago, there was a hissy fit when Zahara was seen with her hair just loose and wild.
People said that Jolie obviously hadnt bothered to research the hair of her black adopted daughter and so didnt know that it would be 'best' to style or braid it to keep it neat.
All I saw was a four year old with messy hair but people pitched a fit.
Like I say, I dont like Jolie but the woman isn't a bad mum, she lets her kid dress comfy rather than dolled up to please the cameras.
I honestly wonder if little Suri Cruise wants to wear high heels all the time. Or if she wouldnt mind wearing a FUCKING COAT once in a while.
I read something the other day, about Suri, some one said 'She's like her mum, always in dresses, she wont wear trousers'
And..um...Outside of red carpets I dont think Katie Holmes OWNS a dress. I have never seen her in one. So yeah.
Like I say, if Shiloh is a tomboy, what ever. If she's gay or transgender, what ever. She seems happy and she's growing into her looks (I didnt think she was all that cute as a toddler)
I dont for a second think Shiloh is being MADE to dress or style her hair like a boy by Angelina or any one. What possible reason could the woman have to make her daughter dress like a dude? She's freakin weir but she's not that freakin weird.

WOW, I'm sort of defending Jolie...I feel dirty. Not good dirty.

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 3:34 PM

And Christ, people, Shiloh is a LITTLE KID; it's far too early to be calling her transgendered or gay or anything besides a LITTLE KID. She may have no input into her appearance, or it could all be her idea. I doubt that it means a goddamn thing. I went through a dress phase, a pants phase, a no-clothes phase, a doll phase, a sports-and-wrestling phase, all of which had no bearing on my eventual status as a straight chick.

Posted by: DeadBessie at March 3, 2010 3:36 PM

Thespos is SO hot right now.

Stopthemadness, I FUCKING LOVE JELLY BEANS. I ate a pretty huge bag today in about ten minutes, felt the rest of the day feeling outrageously sick and I REGRET NOTHING. I FUCKING LOVE JELLY BEANS.

Tracer, you'll be receiving the bill for my now ruined keyboard (what with the tea and the spit soaking it) in the mail

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 3:37 PM

Thanks Stacey!

Also, on the Shiloh thing, I'm pretty sure I read something a while back where Brad said Shiloh was obsessed with Peter Pan or something, and that she demanded to be called Peter and dress like a boy. And like Replica, I say that sometimes a kid wants to go out dressed in silly clothes, and we moms just decide it's not a battle worth fighting.

Posted by: Cindy at March 3, 2010 3:53 PM

Congratulations, Stacey, Pajiba now has a blurb on that People Hugging the New Joanna Newsom Album website.

Posted by: tamatha at March 3, 2010 4:04 PM

The Wii curling video and the Simpson-punked Lost wallpaper had just about replaced tonight's usual bottle of whiskey for "helping" me cope with my day.

And then I made the mistake of clicking on that ice dancing video. Now I need that bottle more than ever, if for no other reason than to pour it into my eyeballs in the hopes of washing out what I just saw.

Posted by: Your Mom at March 3, 2010 4:14 PM

Okay, hi, hello. I may have been gone and off working in the wilds of digital publishing for a while, but all it took was one "ice dancing" video to snap my ass back.
Dude, duuuuuuuude. If Cobain weren't already dead, this would have driven him to it.
Also, I'm pretty sure I recognized Pat Benatar's shoulder shimmy from the "Love is a Battlefield" video.
And then he looked like he was taking a dump on the ice. I don't need to see anyone, in any situation, spread their legs and squat like that. Ever.
I quite literally started shrieking with laughter, and then I couldn't breathe. From all the mad, screechy giggles.

Posted by: MyySharona at March 3, 2010 4:14 PM

I am convinced that the wii curling was just a blatant excuse for those hosts to demonstrate their masturbating/handjob skills on breakfast TV.

Nadine, I suspect you're overthinking this whole Shiloh dress thing.
Those lesbian friends who claimed they never wore skirts as toddlers are probably just ascribing a correlation after the fact. Even amongst adults, there's plenty of tomboys who love the cock, and plenty of long-haired women in skirts who love tits. If dressing 'differently' as a kid indicates future homosexual or transgendered activities, then heteros would be the minority and the waiting list on gender reassignment surgery would be insane.
The hair could be the result of a bubble gum accident, or being left alone for two seconds with a pair of scissors. As for the clothes, well, I looked after a 3 year old girl who was convinced, for weeks, that she was Darth Maul. She's five now, and has shown no further interest in being a Sith Lord.

Repeat after me: Kids are squirrelly, unpredictable little fuckers.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at March 3, 2010 4:37 PM

ScienceGeek, valid point but it wasn't the Lesbians who told me, it was their mothers who described their total lack of dress wearingness.
You're all probably right, kids are unpredictable and will dress how they feel. I once cut a middle chunk of my fringe out because I thought it would look cool. I was...so wrong...
BUT, doesn't change the fact could Shiloh could be a little LesbiToddler. We're BORN with those preferences =)

I once called my BF's cat a LesbiCat.
I like putting Lesbi in front of things.

But no, aye, it's not something I spend hours pondering over, just something I feel will totally turn out to be right in the years to come (it's happening enough lately to totally freak me out, that my wild theories or assumptions actually turn out to be right)

Posted by: Nadine at March 3, 2010 4:43 PM

What is that Whirring sound I hear? It is the sound of Kurt Cobain SPINNING in his grave.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 3, 2010 5:32 PM

Bahahahahahahaaa oh man is that Scott Williams ice dancer the one they had on TV stating that ice skating/dancing should be more macho? (since it's in dispute thank to Johnny Weir) Cause holy cow that was ridiculous.

Posted by: grace b at March 3, 2010 5:54 PM

My 9 y.o. daughter's comment on the Nirvana ice skating video:

"That is just wrong."

Posted by: Mrs Smith at March 3, 2010 6:06 PM

Yeah, that figure skater put the "dick" in ridiculous.

Posted by: Odnon at March 3, 2010 6:26 PM

When I saw that Shiloh article, her face reminded me of one Starbuck of Battlestar Galactica. And that is just fine by me. You rock your tomboy-ness, Shiloh! Show that Suri bitch that you don't need hooker shoes and dolly dresses to be a real girl.

Posted by: bonnie at March 3, 2010 7:45 PM

I think 'Vagitarian' is the funniest thing I've heard in a long, long time.

Posted by: Jami at March 3, 2010 8:25 PM

Scott Williams did the splits across the entire ice rink!

Posted by: prawntastic at March 3, 2010 9:09 PM

"She also wishes she had a penis for 'more fun peeing'."

-- replica at March 3, 2010 3:27 PM

As a long-term penis owner, I have to say, it does put the "fun" back in "body function".

Posted by: spazmodeas at March 3, 2010 10:43 PM

Dear god, that ice dancer has tiny, tiny feet.

Posted by: dr. pisaster at March 3, 2010 11:07 PM

Honestly I didn't realize Blades of Glory was based on a true story.

I think discussing sexuality at Shiloh's age is an entirely fruitless pursuit. At that age I was still wearing the occasional dress (male) and I would on occasion let the girls in school do my nails right up until I was 8 or 9 years old. Thank god I was high enough on the social hierachy and already big enough that nobody messed with me over it.

I grew up to be a somewhat normal heterosexual male is my point.

Posted by: Chugga at March 4, 2010 4:52 AM

Oh, God - please. Parents (at least in NYC) could take some cues from Brangelina. My daughter has a Shiloh-ish look (though a little blunter and more Prince Valiant-esque) and is neat as a little pin, even in running-around clothes. The girls at her daycare center, conversely, are hot messes with their raggedy tresses flying all over the place. And don't even get me started on those lace-bottomed leggings little girls wear under skirts these days. Doesn't anybody wear tights anymore?

Shiloh is adorable - let her be.

Posted by: samantha t at March 4, 2010 3:56 PM


















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