Bush still using a word usually reserved for describing tomato sauce or red wine to convey the socioeconomic state of affairs in our country. (Deus Ex Malcontent)
Rashida Jones suffered an entirely different kind of scarring during her childhood trips to Neverland Ranch. (WIMB)
And in somewhat related news, what may have happened if Michael Jackson had swung the other way. (QuizLaw)
Mike Myers new turd supreme masters the “trifecta of comedy.” (Yeeeah!)
Well I hope you’re all frigging happy. “Quarterlife” is canceled. (EW)
OooOOooh! I think Agent Bedhead totally has a crush on Eli Roth! Hee hee hee! (Agent Bedhead)
Mischa Barton is where level-headed fashion sense goes to die. (Celebslam)
I know some of you guys have been fed up with my insistence to continue jabbing at Heigl, (I’m just calling her that) maybe because you’re a fan and really like “Grey’s Anatomy” or etcetera. So… Can we finally all just agree? (Celebitchy)
Who’s hungry for some hot buttered moobs, served up by the stack? (cityrag)
Psssht. What the hell is so great about the under-30 set, anyway? 30’s Pride, bitches! (Film Experience)
PETA doesn’t just lower the bar — it takes the bar, throws the bar on the ground, sets it on fire and pisses on it. (Feministing)
At least half of you probably have no interest in old photos of Cameron Diaz getting it on with Matt Dillon in the ocean. The other half of you already clicked on the link and are no longer reading. So, my apologies to the first half. It’s a slow news day, alright? (IDLYITW)
Isabella Rossellini: still eccentrically, awesomely crazy — after the jump.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 29, 2008 3:38 PM
I did my part and watched "Quarterlife." I would have watched it again, but it was a little, um, hokey? Ameturish? Smarmy? Don't know the right word, but it was something along those lines.
Posted by: frumpiefox at February 29, 2008 3:42 PM
For some reason the Feministing feud with PETA reminds me of that line from Lone Star, "It's always heartwarming to see a prejudice defeated by a deeper prejudice." I guess because I have very little love for either of them -- extremism is a poor way to convince people of just about anything. It is a good way, however, to galvanize opinion against yourself.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 29, 2008 3:45 PM
Dear Lord. That Mike Meyers link should be rated NSFW.
Justin T., you were pretty good in Alpha Dog. You surprised me. With the last few scenes, anyway. What the hell? Why are you in an Alba movie, which makes it guaranteed to suck? This is supposed to be funny-tacky, isn't it? Like Dick in a Box?
And Mike Myers...don't even talk to me. I'm still pissed at you because of that awful, sickening, revolting, horrifying, decrepit, unbelievable piece of shit that was The Cat in the Hat.
Posted by: Brie at February 29, 2008 3:54 PM
The under 30 set, pfffft, don't make me laugh mon. That article is right, not only are they non-entities in the entertainment industry but in everything, I weep for whoever comes after that sorry ass crew.
I'm glad I'll be dead and won't get to see what kind of shithole (well, bigger shithole) they're gonna turn this place into.
There, I said it.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 29, 2008 3:57 PM
I didn't watch Quarterlife, but that's because I live in Cleveland and it was preempted by the Democrats' debate. Based on the review here, I have my DVR set to record it when our NBC affiliate airs it on Saturday.
Really, is it fair to cancel a show based on one episode that went up against the final debate in a nose-to-nose primary race during the most cared-about election year...ever?
Then again, NBC's not so good with the, um, logic. Awful remakes of the Bionic Woman and Knight Rider? Nice work/originality, assholes.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 29, 2008 4:10 PM
Ack! Boobs at work! Boobs at work! I may have set my mouse on fire with how quickly I clicked away from the Diaz-Dillon roll in the waves.
Posted by: Kolby at February 29, 2008 4:11 PM
I hear you Kolby, I can't ever justify looking at IDLYITW at work, ever. Its a strictly at-home guilty pleasure.
Posted by: nancy at February 29, 2008 4:28 PM
Heh, that pause on YouTube reminded me of Booji Boy.
'Oh, Dad. We're ALL Devo!'
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 29, 2008 4:36 PM
I am, indeed, friggin happy Quarterlife is canceled already. Shit on the internet on t.v. is still shit.
Posted by: Spork at February 29, 2008 4:44 PM
Oh, shuddup.
Posted by: agent bedhead at February 29, 2008 4:49 PM
Oh, eat a candy bar outta my ass, bedhead.
Self-centered, whiny, ridiculously entitlement-delusional twenty somethings calling the internet "the 'net" all the time in a melodrama built around the technical foolishness of a confessional-style video weblog is exactly as painfully stupid as it sounds. It doesn't deserve to be canceled, it deserves to be taken out back, violated with a canned ham, beaten with a sack full of dead cats, set on fire, and then shot just for good measure.
I cannot even imagine the QWERTY gymnastics required to render we'll as a typo of will.
Do you type with your left foot and your tongue?
Posted by: Spork at February 29, 2008 5:10 PM
As an animal lover, my hate for PETA is surpassed only by my hate for Viva, a Brit pro-vegan activist group whose new "spokesmodel" is (puke) Heather Publicity-Whore Mills. Her latest announcement is that people who drink cow's milk may as well drink rat's milk.
Posted by: PaddyDog at February 29, 2008 5:22 PM
Spork, I don't know who pissed you off or how, but...I kinda hope they do it again.
Your extreme crankiness has slightly alleviated my own.
Flame on.
Posted by: isabelle at February 29, 2008 5:24 PM
Well, Lil One-Leg has a good point-- rat's milk is pretty tasty. But those little bastards are spry, y'all, and they don't cotton to having their nipples tweaked.
Posted by: isabelle at February 29, 2008 5:28 PM
paddydog,
i think i love you.
i am amazed that feministing is more concerned with peta's ads that use nekkid women, than they are by the fact that peta themselves put down thousands of animals every year.
then again, consider the source.
Posted by: bionic bunny at February 29, 2008 5:30 PM
Hee Spork, isabelle Now you see I'm just waiting to see what Julie makes of the rats' nipples. That'd be a great band name Rat Nipples. I'm going to start a band just so I can call it that. Not having any musical talent whatsoever didn't stop Good Charlotte, now did it?
I love Isabella Rossellini so much. I'd like to hang out with her.
Posted by: joker at February 29, 2008 5:41 PM
hee! Rat's milk always makes me think of that Simpsons episode where Homer discovers that all the schoolchildren of Springfield are drinking "malk" - "Now with Vitamin R".
Posted by: jeem at February 29, 2008 5:44 PM
Oddly enough my first room mate when I moved to the US had a boyfriend who broke up with her by telling her she was flat-chested and had rat nipples. She pined after him for months and that was when I decided I had to move out.
Bionic Bunny:
Check out Viva's website if you really want to enraged by what some "socalled" animal lovers want to have happen.
Posted by: PaddyDog at February 29, 2008 6:10 PM
bionic bunny I'm sure some people over at feministing do care that PETA put down thousands of animals. However, the prime directive of the website is... feminism. Ergo, they will comment on the sexist marketing practices of PETA rather than the fact that they're dirty hypocrites. However, I have no problem saying that PETA are both dirty hypocrites and sexist.
I prefer Jezebel anyway.
I totally wouldn't put it past schools to start putting "vitamin R" into cafeteria milk for reals.
Posted by: Genny at February 29, 2008 6:48 PM
I'm not sad that Quarterlife got cancelled. I tried to watch it but I hated everyone on it so I figured it was best left alone. I figured someone would want to watch it but NBC probably wasn't the place for it. It may have survived on the CW?
Love Isabella Rosellini. She can do no wrong. Crazy though. Yeah.
Oh. And Spork?
Shuddup.
(I figured I would give you something to rant about which was directed specifically at you.)
Carry on.
Posted by: greer at February 29, 2008 7:10 PM
Joker, yes! Let's totally start a band! I also lack musical talent, so it'll be fantastic.
Rat Nipples Live!
Posted by: isabelle at February 29, 2008 7:11 PM
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm sick of the Heigl shit because I DON'T like her. I don't know why you would want to obsess on the second by second minutia of someone's life who you can't stand. She gets more coverage here than on her fucking fan sites.
Posted by: Idrinkitup! at February 29, 2008 7:35 PM
Thanks, greer. But, I've got my bourbon and Team Fortress 2 this evening. I'll be fine now.
Posted by: Spork at February 29, 2008 8:04 PM
There was a show on TV called "Quarterlife"?
Posted by: Case at February 29, 2008 8:10 PM
Is that...yes, it is John Oliver from The Daily Show in that still from the Justin Timberlake movie. Sigh. Why do these things have to happen? Does he really WANT to hurt me?
Posted by: Cait at February 29, 2008 8:25 PM
didn't Isabella Rossellini used to be hot?
I distinctly remember the general consensus being that she was hot (granted, that may have been 15 years ago).
she sure hasn't aged well- not like Catherine Deneuve.
Posted by: causaubon at February 29, 2008 9:35 PM
I think she looks pretty good.
I heard her do an interview with Guy Maddin on CBC One earlier this month. She's very entertaining.
Anyway...
PaddyDog, what would this gentleman who courted your housemate know EXACTLY about a rat's nipples? It is size, shape, colour, consistency? Do they both get erect when watching some hot Skinner Box action? Or do they both chafe and bleed when some twat-waffle tries to molest them? Whatever it is, I'll have whatever Rat Nipples is serving before enduring Good Charlotte. Curfew SUCKS, bro!
B-Slim, 'mon'. Heh, I never get to hear anyone say that, and my clan's from Jamaica. Should I say something in here about 'elegant Caribbean shoulders'?
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 29, 2008 9:53 PM
Agent Bedhead should check the special features on Eli Roth's opus Hostel. He introduces the one Czech porn star who has a line and has more footage of the the one that plays the stripper. He undoubtedly tapped that entire herd.
Posted by: OscarTamerz at February 29, 2008 9:59 PM
Justin Timberlake's music kind of annoys me, as does the dopey mustache, but I'm pretty sure I've just drooled all over myself. Great. (And on the subject: Alba's Ass! It Humps! It Bumps! For fun it's a wonderful toy! Alba's Ass! Alba's Ass! It's fun for a girl and a boy! ...Sorry, couldn't help myself).
And finally, Katherine. Hate to say it, but I actually kind of like her, and yes, I know, saying I like Skank Cancer is pretty much the equivalent of dragging what little credibility I have here and beating it with a tire iron, but if we're going to call her out on something, should we really be calling her out for being a bitch? You do remember that this is pajiba, which consists of reviews for bitchy people (which means you, me and everyone else on this site). It's just something that always seemed a little hypocritical to me. That being said, she does seem at times to be ungrateful to the people who have made her what she is today, so I say shame to her for that.
Posted by: Jeremy at February 29, 2008 11:19 PM
I watched "Quarterlife", and I have to say, I was less than impressed. This even though I was PSYCHED for it, and expected to love it, because I've loved a lot of the Zwick/Hershkowitz work (MSCL, Once and Again, and even Thirtysomething in reruns, even though I was about in grade school when it first ran). Given the quality that those guys have managed previously, I'd have thought they'd give them a few more episodes, and I would have as a viewer, but, well -- I'm not devastated.
Posted by: sf at March 1, 2008 1:21 AM
Isabella Rosselini continues to be one of the most beautiful women alive -- and look closely causaubon......Catherine Deneuve has had work done. It doesn't make her any less beautiful, but something gets lost.
Posted by: Finn at March 1, 2008 1:52 AM
If it makes anyone feel better, the massive amounts of saltwater, sand, shells, jellyfish, kelp, pebbles, starfish, small sharks, empty beer bottles, cigarette butts, seahorses, fishing hooks, pelican feathers, candy wrappers, driftwood, endangered dolphins, errant merpeople, and minor shipwrecks that have probably made their way into Cameron Diaz's vagina will probably keep her from ever reproducing.
Posted by: Kris at March 1, 2008 2:10 AM
Is it just me, or did the "bitches" thing start getting lame, like, 4 years ago when my show was still on the air and frat guys were starting to discover it?
Please people... let's retire "bitches" to the same land as "Do I make you horny?" and "groovy".
Now, back to being a shut in...
Posted by: Dave Chappelle at March 1, 2008 10:26 AM
Is it just me, or did the "bitches" thing start getting lame, like, 4 years ago when my show was still on the air and frat guys were starting to discover it?
Please people... let's retire "bitches" to the same land as "Do I make you horny?" and "groovy".
Now, back to being a shut in...
Posted by: Dave Chappelle at March 1, 2008 10:30 AM
Is it just me, or did the "bitches" thing start getting lame, like, 4 years ago when my show was still on the air and frat guys were starting to discover it?
Please people... let's retire "bitches" to the same land as "Do I make you horny?" and "groovy".
Now, back to being a shut in...
Posted by: Dave Chappelle at March 1, 2008 10:31 AM
Rossellini has long ago admitted a fascination with the sexual practices of certain arthropods - which I share.
But when she came out in the spider outfit, tip-toing about, I shot some of my curry lunch out my nose.
And your psychological prediction of those still interested in Cam Diaz & Matt Dillon was - I'm ashamed to say - correct.
Posted by: mfg at March 1, 2008 4:40 PM
Am I the only one who thinks that Matthew McConhoweverthefuckyouspellit looks like a sally when he runs? Look at those hands. Golly.
Posted by: Jaci at March 2, 2008 8:57 PM
Does Dubya bring out the Inigo Montoya in anybody else, or is it just me?
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means'.
Seriously, a POTUS who can't even manage basic vocabulary - pathetic and scary, no?
Mischa Barton is where EVERYTHING goes to die.