Pajiba Love 02/27/09

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | February 27, 2009 | Comments (37)

You can start sending your condolences to Agent Bedhead now. In the Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience she’s reviewing this weekend? They will be removing their shirts. Oh, yes. (WIMB)

The Coen Brothers put together this awesome spot advocating the “clean” coal industry. Spoiler alert! There is no such thing. (QuizLaw)

Rut roh. Lindsay Lohan’s 15-year-old 40-year-old sister Ali is moving in with her to “jumpstart her career.” It’s gonna jumpstart something anyway. (Celebslam)

Eliza Dushku talks to the A.V. Club about “Dollhouse.” I’m not as pessimistic as Dustin on the series, but I’m not sold on it yet, either. (AV Club)

Here’s the top seven heroes from the show “Heroes” who need to die, STAT. Yeah, suck it, Hayden! (ScreenJunkies)

Omigod! Omigod! Mickey Rourke got a new chihuahua named “Jaws” and it is like the cutest thing evar. (Celebitchy)

Here are 77 appropriate ways to celebrate Elizabeth Taylor’s 77th mothereffing birthday. #36? Howl! (Film Experience)

Many people just don’t appreciate the subtle nuances in Wolf Spirit T-shirt artwork. It’s really a whole art form in unto itself. (HolyTaco)

Does anyone care that Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen got married? I don’t. In fact, it is pretty much the most boring gossip ever. (KSK)

Are we now starting to see the slow death of Plasma TVs? (Galley Slaves)

Why is there no sperm-killing, male birth control pill? Because men can’t be trusted to put the toilet seat down and take out the trash, much less to take a fucking pill everyday. (Thanks, I’ll be here all night!) (Jezebel)

“Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work.” Uhmmm, it’s safe to assume that the language is very, very NSFW. (Via DEM!)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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If you've ever walked around a state fair or a flea market or anywhere in the Ohio River Valley, you've probably noticed that 75% of the midwestern population owns and actively wears a theme of shirts where large drawings of wolves lord over a backdrop of cliffs, native Americans in full headress regalia and other awesome shit.

This is so very, very true. A couple members of my extended family own shirts like these. Ah, Ohio, land of the poorly dressed, among other things.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at February 27, 2009 1:23 PM

Another popular choice in classy tshirts along the same vein is the "dolphin and/or whale" shirt. I had a bunch of those. Only one wolf shirt, that I can remember, but I was always more of a whale guy.

Jesus Christ, thinking about how much whale stuff I used to have makes me want to go back in time and punch my 13 year-old self in the mean bean machine.

Posted by: Snath at February 27, 2009 1:24 PM

I think the Jonas Brothers would be better employed in a remake of Blazing Saddles...

"Vadges? We don't need no stinking vadges!"

Posted by: Tarn at February 27, 2009 1:25 PM

Oh, who doesn't love a good print with some tie-dye and some noble animals and the moon. No apologies, no explanations. It just states plainly "Here I am, world, with my airbrushed cetacean and the Milky Way spiraling overhead (and probably my bong)."

Posted by: twig at February 27, 2009 1:28 PM

Those Wolf shirts show up with alarming regularity in certain pockets of Oklahoma, too.

Posted by: Mattfactor at February 27, 2009 1:29 PM

"Now girls, I want you to rub your hands over those virile young chests. Caress those perfect pectorals! Toy with the silken chest hair - or with the areas where that hair may eventually be... that's it!"

Posted by: Kris at February 27, 2009 1:34 PM

I'm moving to the Ohio River Valley next month. With any luck, I'll catch one (lots) of these specimen in the flesh. Prepare to be dazzled.

Posted by: Sean at February 27, 2009 1:34 PM

Ohio also has a lot of those tie-dye style shirts with lightning on them and either a cross or Jesus's head (or both! Squee!) appearing to burst forth from the fabric like an alien from John Hurt's chest. We just really know a lot about fashion here.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at February 27, 2009 1:35 PM

Those wolf tee shirts show up in the more redneck corners of Maryland too. Of course, I've heard some not so funny things about what certain of them represent, so I'm slightly more suspicious than mocking of them.

The dawn of male birth control pills will be the dawn of the age when men can no longer talk shit about "crazy bitches" who "got themselves pregnant". I can't wait.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at February 27, 2009 1:38 PM

Sean, I feel for you. I really really really do. I grew up there and only managed to escape recently. Say hello to the Moth Man for me!

Posted by: Quorren at February 27, 2009 1:39 PM

I have NEVER seen one of these shirts. Do I live in the unfashionable part of Ohio?

Posted by: Lainey at February 27, 2009 1:39 PM

You know, when I get married, I definitely want a wedding dress where my bosom sticks out the side--just like Gisele's! Classy.

Oh wait, I have no intention of getting married. I guess these babies are just going to have to remain under wraps then.

Posted by: tamatha at February 27, 2009 1:41 PM

Sean, I think in Ohio it's "prepare to be be-dazzled." At least that's how it is for your neighbors to the west.

Posted by: ankitty at February 27, 2009 1:48 PM

I have NEVER seen one of these shirts. Do I live in the unfashionable part of Ohio? - Lainey

If you want to know if you live in the fashionable part of Ohio, just ask yourself these questions:

1. Have you ever made a trip to the local grocery store in the summer and encountered a woman with bleach blonde hair and 4 inch long black roots wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and a belly-baring tank top that allow you to see all 60 pounds of extra weight gained from her four pregnancies?

2. Are you within 30 minutes of a flea market and/or swap meet that advertises their booths full of guns, knives, and John Deere apparel?

3. Have you ever seen someone driving a truck in your neighborhood with a reverse-facing car seat in the front seat or several children riding untethered in the truck bed?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then congratulations! You live in the fashionable part of Ohio and should keep your eyes open for the fabulous frocks all around you! If you answered no to all of these questions, then I'm so sorry. Maybe you should think about moving.

Posted by: Dangle McGee at February 27, 2009 1:54 PM

I've seen those shirts, oh how I've seen them. What kind of idiot walks around with a fucking wolf spirit painted on his shirt like a fucktarded redneck freak?

It goes on your underwear.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: admin at February 27, 2009 1:58 PM

Dangle, not only am I moving to a "fashionable part of Ohio," but I will be within minutes of West Virginia. I can't wait to regale Pajiba with tales of hillbilly-ness.

Posted by: Sean at February 27, 2009 2:06 PM

- Rut roh. Lindsay Lohan - Shouldn't that read "Rut roh. Rindsay Rohan"? Just wondering..

As for the t-shirts; I want a ninja wolf t-shirt. Or a Viking Wolf Cyborg Topless Babe Obama t-shirt. That would be awesome.

Posted by: Odnon at February 27, 2009 2:22 PM

And as for the male birth control pill, all I have to say is: Spambot, meet Spermbot!

Posted by: Odnon at February 27, 2009 2:24 PM

Jeebus, I had no idea how many Southeast Ohioans were lurking on this site.

All the rest of you are missing out. There's a special kind of magic in these foothills. Mostly because of all the locally grown weed.

Posted by: Tammy at February 27, 2009 2:35 PM

Is that kid squinting or does he just always look like that? It's freaking me out.

Posted by: phaedawg at February 27, 2009 2:56 PM

phaedawg, I was just going to say that. He looks like French Stewart and it makes me want to punch him. I want to punch them all, but Squinty Jonas would get an extra punch.

Posted by: dave at February 27, 2009 3:27 PM

I just have 3 words for the Jonas Brothers and their Promise rings --
Butt. Sex. Counts.

Actually, I have 3 more --
So. Does. Incest.

Posted by: Drake at February 27, 2009 3:34 PM

There's a "fashionable" part of Ohio?

Really?

Huh.

Posted by: TK at February 27, 2009 3:36 PM

My guess is that it's a relative term, TK. Like the "skinny" population of Wisconsin or the "tanned" population of Canada.

Posted by: branded at February 27, 2009 4:04 PM

Holy SHIT that video is funny!

Posted by: TylerDFC at February 27, 2009 4:07 PM

I've always put the toilet seat down and I started taking out the trash regularly when I was like eight. You shut up and make my dinner, woman.

Posted by: Lucas at February 27, 2009 4:09 PM

lightnig-headed christ, we've got the EE trifecta going on in this thread.

Posted by: Stella at February 27, 2009 4:13 PM

The smartest thing Heroes could do at this point is either kill everybody on it and start from scratch or just die a slow, lingering death to cancellation. I stopped watching completely, and apparently, I'm not missing much. What a waste of potential superhero awesomeness.

Posted by: figgy at February 27, 2009 4:16 PM

Yes, TK, "fashionable". Emphasis on the quotation marks. Xenia is also the "safest" place to live in a trailer and Greenfield is the "best" place to learn about technology. (I fully understand that I may be the only one to get these sarcastic references to my home state.)

Posted by: Dangle McGee at February 27, 2009 4:35 PM

but i don't want to be cuckolded

Posted by: Handel at February 27, 2009 4:38 PM

I thought Bundchy were married already, so that holds negative interest to me, I can't even be bothered to comment on Heroes anymore except to ditto what figgy said, so I'm going to create some gossip of my own. I went to the gyno today and WHO SHOULD I SEE in the waiting room but AMY RYAN? With, could it be, a NEW MAN??!! They certainly looked cozy while waiting for her PELVIC EXAM! After I spent a few minutes getting my VAGINA FINGERED by someone I HOPE was a doctor, I walked outside and saw AMY RYAN getting BLOOD DRAWN. Is she participating in FEEDING VAMPIRES??? There's only one way to find out-WE MUST STAKE HER THROUGH HER HEART!

Posted by: Sabrina at February 27, 2009 5:37 PM

I can't wait to regale Pajiba with tales of hillbilly-ness.

Posted by: Sean at February 27, 2009 2:06 PM
---
Ahem.

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 27, 2009 9:34 PM

I completely agree with you figgy, the only problem with that list of Heroes characters who need to be killed off is it's too short. I can't think of a single person in that universe who deserves to live. Let the next apocalypse come to them. Send Mayor Wilkins from Buffy to eat them all alive.

Oh, and if Drake doesn't win best comment of the week, it would be a travesty of Paul Haggis proportions.

Posted by: George at February 27, 2009 9:39 PM

I am fairly certain that now that I've seen two posts regarding wolf shirts that I shall see them adorn the mightiest, sprightliest, most underground hipsters alive should I dare to visit their lairs (mostly 'game development company dodgeball team events' and 'loosely organized independent gallery owners, aged 25').

The irony bucket dryeth up pretty fast.

(I kinda know what I'm wearing next time I try getting into a club at my decrepit age. I'll slay the little fuckers with my old school cred. If I accessorize with an old tube sock as a tie, they'll anoint me Queen Bar Star. This I know.)

Posted by: replica at February 28, 2009 1:08 AM

replica, I have much love for you right now.

Posted by: admin at February 28, 2009 2:11 AM

The older they get the less they look like they're from the same parents. Hmmm.

Posted by: Trollin' at February 28, 2009 5:33 PM

Love him very much.He is so young and talent. My friends on mixedmate dotcom love him very much. It is a niche interracial dating service.

Posted by: unname at March 2, 2009 2:40 AM

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