Pajiba Love 02/26/09

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | February 26, 2009 | Comments (40)

Oh, yay!!!!! Amy Ryan is coming back to “The Office.” That brings me so much indescribable joy. Now if only they’d make “Mose” a regular… (OfficeTally)

I love this. Kevin Federline, because he literally has nothing better to do, is starting a line of “affordable” childrens’ clothing. (WIMB)

A bunch of lameo Twilight and Anne Rice fans are taking it too far. (QuizLaw)

Holly Madison from “The Girls Next Door” and douchegician Criss Angel have split up, so now she can return to her first love: Old man balls. (The Blemish)

In “Why, Why, Oh God Why?” news, a porn distribution company has offered Octomom $1 million to star in her own porno. Bet you’ll never guess what its working title is. Site NSFW! (DrunkenStepfather)

Ha ha ha! This is an actual flier for a fundraiser Mel Gibson is having at his church. It looks like the weird lady at your office could have put it together. (Celebitchy)

Sharon Stone takes some time out of slaughtering adorable puppies to catch up with Melanie Griffith over lunch. (Yeeeah!)

The porcupine asks: “Are you feelin’ lucky, punk? Well are you?! (AnimalReview)

You know why I love Anderson Cooper? Because he basically has the same sense of humor as me. Totally juvenile. (omg blog)

A Chinese Viagra-knockoff company is pirating David Beckham’s budge to sell its merchandise. (AgentBedhead)

Here are the 20 strange deaths of interesting people. Turns out, Jack Daniel actually didn’t die from liver failure. Huh. (mental floss)

Maybe this makes me a snob, but I have never ever consumed Hamburger Helper in my entire life. And this doesn’t change my mind. (TIB)

The lead singer of The Barenaked Ladies has just quit the band. In other news, The Barenaked Ladies were still together. (EvilBeet)

Here’s a Fictional Freebies list that I can almost totally agree with, with the exception of The Rock’s inclusion. Yuck. I would not, could not, in a box — I would not, could not with a fox. (NotesOnBarNapkins)

And now, without further ado… The Folk Prince of Bel Air:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

Yaaaaay! Holly! We love Holly and her awesome brand of painful geekery. It was a sad day for everyone when she left, so I couldn't be happier. Plus, it could make Michael a little bit less insufferable than he's been lately. And that's coming from someone who's watched every single episode at least twice and has taken a lot of Michael.

I find The Rock ridiculously appealing. He's charming as hell. And oof. Those arms. I'm with Jeremy there.

Posted by: figgy at February 26, 2009 1:12 PM

I live in West Philadelphia. There is a playground 5 blocks from my apartment. Every time I drive past it, I sing "...on the playground is where I spent most of my days!" I am the most popular girl in my neighborhood.

Posted by: Julie at February 26, 2009 1:16 PM

I clicked on the Sharon Stone link and, wow, I thought I got the porcupine page by mistake. That hair!

Posted by: Odnon at February 26, 2009 1:18 PM

figgy I am a fan of what The Rock is cooking as well. If I end up back in Miami the chances that I could possibly run into him and he'll fall desperately in love with me go from "you're joking, right?" to "well, stranger things have happened".

And hush up on the Barenaked Ladies hate. Their Christmas album is actually pretty damn good, and this is coming from someone who boycotts any Christmas service that doesn't feature and honest to god choir.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at February 26, 2009 1:23 PM

Oh god, I wish I could see the American Office! I love Amy Ryan so much that sometimes, it hurts me just a little bit. Like a dull sort of ache, in my knee.

Posted by: Caspar at February 26, 2009 1:28 PM

Hamburger Helper was a staple of mine in college. But in my defense, I was stoned and broke all the time.

The Barenaked Ladies suck cocks in Hell.

Posted by: TK at February 26, 2009 1:33 PM

It should only me a matter of days until both Melanie Griffith and Sharon Stone will only be able to find film roles as Corpse #1 and Corpse #2.

Porcupines kick ass. They're good for scrubbing pots.

I agree with GaR and Figgy, The Rock is awesome, especially Gay Rock. On a related note, I have to go back to the doctor for further testing. It turns out, I may have caught The Gay.

Posted by: admin at February 26, 2009 1:38 PM

Hey, does anyone know a site where I can stream full tv episodes off the internet?? I live in Canada and it seems all the full episodes are reserved for Americans only.
I'm having a particularly heavy craving for some Buffy on my lunch break here. Help a sister out?

Posted by: Wormer at February 26, 2009 1:45 PM

Amy Ryan's talent is neither here nor there. I HATE Holly and her forced geekery and I HATE how boring Michael gets when he's with Holly and I HATE how Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Creed and Angela get no screen time when she's around.

Posted by: Ling at February 26, 2009 1:45 PM

See, admin? This is what trading recipes does to you. Next thing you know you'll be making some spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough.

And yeah, The Rock just has to lift that eyebrow and panties spontaneously melt around the world.

Ling why are you the way that you are? I hate...so much...about the things that you choose to be.

Posted by: figgy at February 26, 2009 1:49 PM

Back up off the Barenaked Ladies. Seriously, put down the purple haterade. I spent approximately 74 hours of my life on the Schuylkill today and I'm ready to cut someone.

Posted by: Nicole at February 26, 2009 1:59 PM

TK: them is fighting words. Barenaked Ladies are so many levels of awesome that bands of pygmies worship them. And bands of pygmies are never wrong. BNL even did an episode of Two Guys and a Girl, back in the day. Nathan Fillion. Ryan Reynolds. Barenaked Ladies providing running musical commentary. That episode of television collapsed into a singularity of deep fried awesome so potent that it swallowed UPN.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 26, 2009 2:04 PM

Figgy, thanks for reminding me. Return of Amy Ryan means either a decrease or a total expulsion of Toby. This i cannot tolerate.

Posted by: Ling at February 26, 2009 2:16 PM

First!!!
I DIE!! That fresh Prince folk song is da BOMB!!!
I needed this after a hard mornin' of bitin' my lip & not yellin' "'Cause I NEED TH' MONEY YA MUTHAFUKIN' DUMBASS"!!!after hearing that stupid question "Tell me why you want to work here."

Posted by: Sly at February 26, 2009 2:17 PM

Ok,
so I wasn't th' first..., anybody know how I can get an mp3 of that "Fresh Prince" folk song?

Posted by: Sly at February 26, 2009 2:20 PM

I'm incredibly disappointed in both of you. So much so that I'm considering having you killed.

Posted by: TK at February 26, 2009 2:20 PM

Better send the professionals this time TK. The last ones you sent to kill me had so many pretty colors inside.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 26, 2009 2:36 PM

Figgy, if you tasted my spinach dip you'd be gay too. At least until the party was over.

TK seems to be full of suicidal tendancies today. I used to love that band btw.

Posted by: admin at February 26, 2009 2:41 PM

"...Two Guys and a Girl, back in the day. Nathan Fillion. Ryan Reynolds. ..."

Oh my. I had totally forgotten that Nathan Fillion was in that show. I used to watch it, starting with the pilot episode (back when it still had the Pizza Place in the title). I mean, thinking about it now, I can totally see him in the show, particularly he and Ryan Reynolds in their apartment, but I just never realized it was him. Who knew?

Posted by: elsie at February 26, 2009 2:47 PM

I kinda like The Rock too. I would recommend his actual, given name, because "The Rock" is stupid, but his real name is Dwayne. Can't really blame him for not wanting to use that professionally.

And you know what? Sharon Stone is still hot. Crazier than a shithouse rat, but still hot. Melanie Griffith, not so much.

Posted by: Slash at February 26, 2009 3:42 PM

Oh, come on...Why you be hating on Dwayne Johnson? Thanks to Figs, Genny, Admin and Slash for backing me up here. Wooo!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at February 26, 2009 3:48 PM

Admin, I think your Mom just brought figgy a fucking Pepsi. There are no coodinates as yet on the location of the spinicah dip, though.

Posted by: Stacy D at February 26, 2009 6:01 PM

I wish somebody would bring me some spinach dip.
And a fucking Pepsi.

Posted by: Stacy D at February 26, 2009 6:01 PM

All I have is Fanta and saltines.

Posted by: figgy at February 26, 2009 6:23 PM

At least you don't have a virgin pepsi. Damned thing sits there all cold and crisp, and I'm so goddamned thirsty, but can I have a drink? Oh no, virgin pepsi is saving it until marriage.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 26, 2009 6:58 PM

Stipe, just feed it some rum, it'll be fucking pepsi in no time.

Posted by: admin at February 26, 2009 7:17 PM

Add tequila and it'll be slut pepsi, and it'll be begging you for it.

Posted by: figgy at February 26, 2009 7:22 PM

Figgy & Admin: I'll feed it tequila and rum, but things are going to get all sorts of meta when I end up snorting coke off of slut pepsi's ass.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 26, 2009 7:29 PM

I would like to be between The Rock and a hard place.

Wormer, I use Surf The Channel. It's like a gateway to other streaming sites, most of which will play for us 'Nucks.

Awww, BNL . . . I raise a forkfull of KD to you, good sirs.

Posted by: Lauren at February 26, 2009 8:01 PM

If you do the dew while snorting coke of slut pepsi's ass, shit might also start to get akward.

Posted by: admin at February 26, 2009 8:02 PM

things are going to get all sorts of meta when I end up snorting coke off of slut pepsi's ass.

Put on a blindfold and call it a blind taste test. Can you tell the difference between the coke and the slut?

Posted by: branded at February 26, 2009 8:32 PM

Like, bass-akward? I'm up for that. All I need is everything you mentioned there.

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 26, 2009 8:33 PM

hey, stace, if you add sour creme, mushrooms, some paprika and a shot of port wine to the hamburger helper strogonoff flavor, then put some of those canned french fried onion rings on top, it's pretty...
oh, wait...

actually, i make a killer REAL stroganoff, but some of the HH flavors are addictive. but like crack, not in a good way.

Posted by: bionic bunny at February 26, 2009 8:34 PM

holy shit, stipe, fucking vs. virgin, that was the funniest thing i've read all day!
now i've got to clean up the keyboard before the mister gets home!

Posted by: bionic bunny at February 26, 2009 8:38 PM

Love him very much. Lots of my online friends on mixedmate dotcom love him too. You can share your ideas with them if you want. It is a servious interracial dating service.

Posted by: evan at February 26, 2009 10:28 PM

Evan is just asking to dew some coke of a slut pepsi's pop-top.

Posted by: figgy at February 26, 2009 11:15 PM

Evan, I can use some serviants, I don't care what race they are. You can start by washing the car while I make up a grocery list. I'll be needing Hamburger Helper, sour cream, mushrooms, paprika ...

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 27, 2009 12:30 AM

You lost me at "Hamburger Helper".

Posted by: figgy at February 27, 2009 1:36 PM

Lauren, Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

Posted by: Wormer at February 27, 2009 2:52 PM

I just came back here after a few days for a hearty laugh. Nothing is more delicious than tastelessness.

My ex-spouse and father of my child, who is in the CCU on a ventilator, would enjoy this filthiness immensely but would ask you draw the line at Million Dollar Baby Jokes.

Knowing that you won't contain yourselves anyhoo, may you just have a Fucking (Diet) Pepsi in his honor. He cannot- it would tickle the tube in his nose.

This will make a fine tale when he wakes up.

Posted by: Stacy D at March 1, 2009 10:35 AM

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