Pajiba Love 02/24/10

Oh Look, Kirsten Dunst Did Something

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (44)

Kirsten Dunst, who hasn’t been in a movie in like two years now, has resurfaced in a music video of “Turning Japanese” that was directed by McG in which she’s dressed up as a “Sailor Moon” character or some crap. Um, OK. (Gamma Squad)

“Firefly” geeks can now own an exact replica of the brown coat Captain Mal wore, in which they will not look anywhere near as sexy in as Nathan Fillion. (Topless Robot)

Finally, there’s a website out there which conveniently identifies every “that guy” from every movie you’ve ever seen. (That Guy)

Whoa. Does everyone know that Johnny Depp is like, a hardcore Communist? Oh, he’s got no problem taking your filthy Capitalist dollars though. Can’t wait til the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie comes out! (Agent Bedhead)

Awesome news guys! “Two and a Half Men” is temporarily cancelled! (Litelysalted)

I can’t remember if I mentioned this yesterday because I really don’t care, but Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are officially dating, to end literally months of speculation. (Screen Junkies)

You could say Luke Wilson is fat, but I like to just think that now there’s more of him to love. (Celebslam)

Bristol Palin is going to be making her big acting debut on “Secret Life of the American Teenager.” Thanks goodness I have no fucking clue what “Secret Life of the American Teenager” is. (Evil Beet)

Here’s a rundown of current events, haiku-style. Anyway, who is Justin Bieber? No wait, don’t tell me. I’m actually trying really hard not to know. (Holy Taco)

Half Baked 2 could never happen because Dave Chappelle is still on his spiritual journey or what have you and Jim Breuer is still busy … um … collecting Comedy Central residuals from airings of Half Baked 1. (Cinematical)

Here’s a list of the ten most head-explodingest movies ever. (Unreality)

Sam Worthington was thisclose to living in his car forever. (Celebitchy)

Here’s an interesting question, compliments of the Ladies’ Home Journal: Would you rather have a hot body or hot sex? I guess this is more for a question the ladies out there, since most men probably wouldn’t mind being disgusting slobs if they were getting laid regularly. (Zelda Lily)

So, I had an awesome clip all picked out for you guys today, but then this hit the internet like Swine Flu, so here you go instead:

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Comments

That "that guy" list seems pretty useless if there's no way to send suggestions (and I think we can agree, there are a TON missing). One guy's list of "that guy"s is not too substantial.

Also, there doesn't seem to be much organization to it. (my That-Guy is quibbling internet commenter)

Posted by: barabajagalla at February 24, 2010 1:09 PM

Rarely have I seen a Love so full of suck*.

Move along, people. Nothing to see here.

*--Don't take this personally, Stacey, you're just the messenger.

Posted by: , at February 24, 2010 1:17 PM

What's the point of having a hot body if not to get laid? The admiration of passers-by only goes so far when one is suffering from blue balls/labia.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 24, 2010 1:21 PM

Finally, there’s a website out there which conveniently identifies every “that guy” from every movie you’ve ever seen.

Uh, this website's been around for years, duh. You're totally lame, Stacey. In fact, Pajiba Love is totally lame. In fact, you know what? PAJIBA is totally lame.

Clearly, however, *I* am not lame for coming here to read it every day. Duh.

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at February 24, 2010 1:26 PM

Here in Canada, (on the channels I watch, anyhow) The Secret Life of the American Teenager is mainly marketed as The Secret Life.

It's misleading, to say the least, though I admit it casts a certain exciting light on all the clips of Molly Ringwald yelling and looking like she wants to punch me in the junk.

Posted by: Melodie at February 24, 2010 1:29 PM

That Kirstin Dunst thing is at least a year old.

Posted by: Steph at February 24, 2010 1:31 PM

Wait isn't The Secret Life of Whatever the show where literally every teenager is pregnant and/or sleeping around? I think The Soup had a clip last week. How appropriate for Bristol...

Posted by: Bananapanda at February 24, 2010 1:42 PM

Isn't Secret Life the show where someone dies every time a teenager has sex?
Sounds perfect for Bristol.

Posted by: ShannonAnn at February 24, 2010 1:44 PM

"Oh Look, Kirsten Dunst Did Something"

--apparently no one pays attention until you follow that with "visits and Orthodontist". Its amazing how much her looks fluctuate moreso than any other young(ish) starlet from done-up to "DEAR GOD THROW SOME MAKEUP ON IT OR KILL IT WITH FIRE".

--bookmarked the Brown Coat. It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine.

--Luke Wilson is a shade of green away from being a dead ringer for Boss Nass from Episode 1.

--and my favorite part about that Scanners clip is the dude in the gray at the 8 second mark. Out of the films context it looks like Cronenberg inserted a shot of a guy, rather casually, get up without an emotive response to the IMPLOSION OF A MAN'S HEAD. I'm also upset that the list implies (?) that The Frighteners was a clunker. Boo to that.

Posted by: D-Day at February 24, 2010 1:49 PM

Isn't Secret Life the show where someone dies every time a teenager has sex?

Ha!

Posted by: Julie at February 24, 2010 1:49 PM

The Secret Life is pretty awful, even for teen drama standards. It's done by Aaron Spelling, meaning that everyone talks unnaturally fast and keeps pointless secrets from each other.

Posted by: Brie at February 24, 2010 1:53 PM

WHAT THE FUCK BUFFY JUST BLEW UP MA FRATELLI'S HEAD WITH A REGULATION NBA BASKETBALL!

Posted by: D-Day at February 24, 2010 1:55 PM

I've seen quite a few "That Guy" lists, before. This one I'm not particularly keen on. In spite of the author's comments regarding several inclusions (Michael Ironside, Ronny Cox, Sam Elliott [really, Sam Elliott is "That Guy"???], Clancy Brown, etc.) he doesn't make a case for ANY of these "That Guys". Cinematical or Unreality, one of those crazy movie sites did a far better list a few months ago where they at least explained their reasoning for each "Top Ten That Guys". They had even gone so far as to explain each "That Guy" as "The Poor Man's [name here]" as justification for why "That Guy" reminds us of someone more famous.

Posted by: lubeg at February 24, 2010 1:56 PM

Bill Pullman is the ultimate "that guy"- always a runner up for the heroine..

Posted by: Bananapanda at February 24, 2010 2:09 PM

Oh look, Kirsten Dunst did something

No noose, not interested.

Posted by: admin at February 24, 2010 2:11 PM

Chappelles not gone or absent hes just doing stand up. I just saw him in Oakland, CA at the New PArish or some shit I've never hear of it before. Eddie Murphy should be taking fucking notes.

And Martin Lawrence is coming to town also but honestly hes lost his stand up game a little. Still love him though. You So Crazy was by far my favorite stand up until Chappele came out.

Posted by: Sad Rockstar at February 24, 2010 2:15 PM

Monkey McLadybits saw the pony video and liked it. I said, "That's creepy." and clicked to the Kirsten Dunst link. Monkey said, "No, Mommy. THAT'S creepy."

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 24, 2010 2:23 PM

After the recent spate of AT&T commercials starring El Fatso, we coined the term "Luke Wison Effect," wherein a formerly attractive person gets so large that their face looks fat (as opposed to just a big belly a la David Boreanaz).

The converse is the "Ricky Gervais Effect," the subject of which loses weight such that they become much more attractive (did you see that guy on the Daily Show this week? With some orthodontia he could be really cute).

Posted by: esme at February 24, 2010 2:24 PM

AND OH MY FREAKING GODTOPUS IT'S CAPTAIN MAL'S COAT! I JUST TOTALLY JIZZED IN MY TIGHTS!

I'm wearing a dress today.

Posted by: esme at February 24, 2010 2:25 PM

I'd love to have one of those awesome Brown Coats. But. I've had the pleasure and misfortune of standing close enough to Mr. Fillion to know that... frak... there's just no way I could possible pull that coat off. Guy's got four or five inches on me and is a hell of a lot more charismatic.

Posted by: lubeg at February 24, 2010 2:41 PM

Did you know that Kirsten Dunst's name anagrams to "Dr. Sunkentits"?

The more you know!

Posted by: Stoat(Cat) at February 24, 2010 3:04 PM

Thank Jah, Two and a Half Men is on temporary cancellation. Now someone needs to get that fat kid in some sort of legal trouble and maybe we can take this show out for good.

Posted by: Al Borland's Beard at February 24, 2010 3:10 PM

The coat is awesome, and no-one around here would recognize where it comes from. But it's entirely to expensive.

Posted by: FabMax at February 24, 2010 3:10 PM

I prefer this feature from the now defunct Fametracker website for my That Guy info: http://www.fametracker.com/hey_its_that_guy/

Posted by: coveredinbees at February 24, 2010 3:18 PM

There's also a fun book called Hey It's That Guy, I believe from the authors of the fametracker site. More fun than this new site, imo, even if it is so old school as to come in book form.

Posted by: Michelle at February 24, 2010 3:26 PM

Just the coat? Well, that's no good. For that price, I expect the shirt, the (tight) pants, the braces (suspenders, to you yanks), the boots and the gun. The whole enchilada, basically. With Nathan in it.

Posted by: tarn at February 24, 2010 3:30 PM

I'll be honest...that video made me like Dunst more than I have in YEARS. For one, it's nice to see her looking like...clean...and sober.
Also, it's funky and Japan is batshit crazy so that's always entertaining.

Mostly though, I think Japanese women are god damned adorable and want one of my very own.

Posted by: Nadine at February 24, 2010 3:34 PM

tarn-- I, too, would like Nathan Fillion in an enchilada. I don't even need the pants.

Posted by: gelis at February 24, 2010 3:36 PM

Guy's got four or five inches on me and is a hell of a lot more charismatic.

Posted by: lubeg at February 24, 2010 2:41 PM

Four or five inches where, exactly? Is that the reason his pants are so tight?

Posted by: esme at February 24, 2010 4:18 PM

Thank dog I watched that My Little Pony clip sober, or I may have choked to death on my own vomit of joy. That totally makes up for the photo of Dr. Sunkentits (thanks, Stoat(Cat)!) at the top of the page.

As for the brown coat, if Captain Mal ain't in it, then Mama ain't interested.

Posted by: Your Mom at February 24, 2010 4:42 PM

I heard that “Two and a Half Men” will now be called "Two and a Half Years".......

Posted by: Odnon at February 24, 2010 5:25 PM

What if they just got Emilio to replace him? Act exactly the same, dress the same, and everyone treats him like he's still Charlie.
I don't think people would mind. And it'd be surreal enough for me to catch an episode.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 24, 2010 6:20 PM

That video...holy shit on a stick, I've never been so terrified and compelled and driven to laughter as I have with that pony. Oh my god, I need to detox now...

Posted by: Kamikaze Feminist at February 24, 2010 7:21 PM

Captain Tight Pants mmm..

also, I was expecting the suspenders and gun holster, the whole shebang, so was fairly disappointed when all i got was the coat... but still PRETTY COOOL.

Posted by: dene at February 24, 2010 7:39 PM

So, i just wanted to stand up for mr. wilson. he clearly has fat-face-itis. I have fat-face-itis. As an american of irish descent, it's my fate to slowly morph into Colm Meany, Bob Hoskins, or John C. Reilly, no matter how in shape i am. And i'm in pretty good shape. seriously, ladies.

Posted by: Johnny Von Awesome at February 24, 2010 8:10 PM

I don't think Luke Wilson is fat. He's not skinny but he's not fat. He's maybe a little bit chubby at most.

Posted by: becks at February 24, 2010 9:12 PM

I think Luke Wilson is looking GOOOOD. But then I can't stand skinniness in a man. I like a man to be meaty. I'm not even opposed to John Goodman level meatiness, ok? Shut up. Mmmm, big men. You can just grab 'em and roll around with 'em and when they're on toppa you, YOU KNOW IT.

Anyway, what someone said above is true, he has the unfortunate Fat Face Curse. I can talk about it because I have it (THANKS A GODDAMN LOT DAD!). I could be thin as hell, and have been, and I still have pinchable cheeks. It sucks.

But Luke has the added issue of his eyes getting all slitty and weird because of the fat face.

Still, doesn't matter. He hardly even qualifies as fat in my book.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at February 24, 2010 11:44 PM

So now "Two and a Half Men" will be called "Two Men"?

Posted by: , at February 24, 2010 11:52 PM

--ok, Johnny Depp might be a bit of a douche but the West Memphis 3 shit is real.

--Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are totally each other's beards.

Posted by: koj at February 25, 2010 12:51 AM

Giovanni Ribisi is a That Guy? How could anyone see him pop up in a show or film and not instantly know where they know him from? HE PLAYED PHOEBE'S PYROMANIAC BROTHER WHO HAD BABIES FROM HER VAGINA DUH.

Posted by: SaBrina at February 25, 2010 1:44 AM

Seriously though, I'll let Dan Hedaya slide, because I reluctantly acknowledge that most people have neither the love for nor the trivia knowledge of Clueless that I do, but Ribisi is not a That Guy.

Posted by: SaBrina at February 25, 2010 1:46 AM

[i]re: Finally, there's a website out there which conveniently identifies every "that guy" from every movie you've ever seen. (That Guy)[/i]

I thought that site was called the Internet Movie Database?

Posted by: La Femme Nikita at February 25, 2010 9:37 PM

I've been scouring the internet for that specific My Little Pony costume diy instructable... It has to be my next halloween costume. (Although after a few drinks I'm sure people will be running around with the head and I'll be "galloping" through the streets.)

Posted by: Amanda at February 25, 2010 11:55 PM

I just wanna share my experience here. I found my boyfriend several months ago, who is 10 years older than me, at http://EUAgeless.com/, a free place for age-gap relationship. It's fabulous! Maybe you wanna check it!

Posted by: Jim at February 26, 2010 1:41 AM

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Oh Look, Kirsten Dunst Did Something

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