Pajiba Love 02/20/09

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | February 20, 2009 | Comments (37)

Kate Winslet says that The Reader is going to be her last film that she appears naked in. So if you want to see Kate Winslet naked from now on, you’ll just have to go rent one of the other ten movies. (Celebitchy)

I suppose it was inevitable, but TMZ has out-disgustinged themselves by getting their hands on an evidence photo of Rihanna after the attack. This link will not take you to it. In other news, turns out I have a conscience after all. Yay! (WIMB)

Apparently tooth decay is the third leading cause for children to be admitted into hospitals over in Britain. Punchline? (QuizLaw)

Octomom’s parents are finally speaking to the media about their crazy mothereffing daughter. First up? Octograndmom! (Yeeeah!)

Speaking of which, want a great tip to beat the recession? Just have eight kids! All at the same time! Then you too, can live in a mansion. (The Blemish)

Today in Stupid Republicans Are Desperate and Saying Ridiculous Yet Hilarious Things news… (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Here’s a great solution to the overpopulation in China: Teach kids to smoke when they’re, say, two. Site NSFW. (DrunkenStepfather)

Holy crap, Shiloh really is starting to look exactly like Brad Pitt. (cityrag)

Meet Miley Cyrus’ good, Christian boyfriend. Oh yeah, they’re almost definitely not not banging. (DListed)

Here’s a flowchart which describes 90% of all porno movies. (HolyTaco)

Joaquin Phoenix has finally hit the big time. He totally made Dickipedia! Thanks, PajiBill! (Dickipedia)

I’m a little late on this, but last week Joss Whedon gave an interview to TV Guide to talk about “Dollhouse.” Which, I finally caught the premiere of but am still on the fence, like many of you. Thanks to Brian! (TV Guide)

From the latest “Flight of the Conchords,” here is the spectacular “Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor.” Enjoy!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

I'm not a man, or gay, but I'll be damned if the Kate Winslet thing doesn't make me sad.

The woman's a work of art. Please don't take it away, Kate. For the good of humanity.

Posted by: figgy at February 20, 2009 1:39 PM

Jeez, Stace, you didn't have to rub it in. I'm already sad enough Kate Winslet decided to end her "tasteful nudity" phase of her career.

Oh...you were quoting something. Nevermind then.

Posted by: Mike R. at February 20, 2009 1:42 PM

I'm already sad enough Kate Winslet decided to end her "tasteful nudity" phase of her career.

I'm optimistic that this will lead into the "untasteful nudity" phase of her career.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 20, 2009 1:44 PM

*flashes Michael*

Posted by: Sabrina at February 20, 2009 1:45 PM

I'm optimistic that this will lead into the "untasteful nudity" phase of her career.

Titanic Ass-Sluts of Nazi Germany?

Posted by: Sabrina at February 20, 2009 1:46 PM

Titanic Ass-Sluts of Nazi Germany?

Definate Oscar contender.

Posted by: admin at February 20, 2009 1:55 PM

Where does one get disco-ball codpieces?

Those Kiwis make it hot in the district . . .

my lady district . . . .

What's the carbon offset on flying to New Zealand just to bang some dudes?

Posted by: Lauren at February 20, 2009 2:01 PM

Are they training Shiloh to look like that? She's making the "Brad Pitt" face pretty perfectly. Slightly squinty eyes, lips pursed but half-smiling, like she's too cool for school. Just like her father. Uncanny.

Posted by: Snath at February 20, 2009 2:01 PM

Kate Winslet says that The Reader is going to be her last film that she appears naked in.

Do NOT care any more. Plenty of other naked womens on the interwebs - she really ought to quit complaining that people want to see her naked. I could well be the opposite.

TMZ has out-disgustinged themselves

This was inevitable that it would be TMZ - the dictionary definition of disgusting.

"Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor."

That? Was AWESOME. I usually find "Flight of the Conchords" a far too twee and useless, but that was funny! Dudes need to find anothe club, though - maybe even another city.

Posted by: Meander at February 20, 2009 2:03 PM

I was hoping that Stacey was going to link to that FotC video. The rest of the episode is fantastic, involving Jemaine sleeping with an Australian girl and that causing major problems with Bret and Murray.

Posted by: branded at February 20, 2009 2:09 PM

Hollywood actresses should get off their high horse about nudity; it give an impression of false propriety. Propriety in Hollywood = bullshit. She can't say which substantial roles will come down the pipe that just so happen to have nudity in them. She is drawing a false comparison between substantial roles and nudity. As if one eliminates the other. But who can say actors/actresses are logical/rational?

As for the abused rich person story: there has been too much tiptoeing around the actuality of the incident that the photos were a necessary concrete manifestation of the act itself, not just armchair conjecture for whoever chose their favorite "team". If there were any doubts about the incident's severity, the doubters will hopefully shut up now.

Also, some of the detractors here smack of false propriety. Cut the bullshit people.

Posted by: Recondite at February 20, 2009 2:37 PM

Shiloh has a douchestache?

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 20, 2009 2:40 PM

Gee thanks Stacey, now I'm going to be singing "too many dicks" to myself all fucking day. Any misunderstandings about my sexual orientation will be directed to you. Hope you're happy.

Posted by: the_wakeful at February 20, 2009 2:47 PM

Re: Octomom & the absence of the babydaddy

Well see how she feels when all the Gubment Cheeze gets eaten. I can't wait for the paternity suit.

Posted by: admin at February 20, 2009 2:54 PM

Just like some men can't keep their dicks in their pants, there are clearly women who can't keep their vadges out of the maternity ward.

I guess this falls under a different category of profligate screwing?

Posted by: Recondite at February 20, 2009 3:03 PM

I'm a little disappointed that no one has made any effort to discuss the porno flow chart.

It's a sad day in Pajiba land...

As an aside, any of you ladies up for a pizza? Free delivery available!

Posted by: Xtreme at February 20, 2009 3:09 PM

Do the British add fluoride to their tap water? I haven't flossed in forever and I tend to only brush my teeth in the morning, but I've never had a cavity because I drink a metric fuckton of tap water. Yay for America.

Posted by: Lucas at February 20, 2009 3:18 PM

Just make sure you cut a hole in the box before you get to the house Xtreme. If you don't things just get awkward.

Just my opinion, but I don't think there were nearly enough butthole pleasures in that flow chart.

Posted by: admin at February 20, 2009 3:20 PM

Thank your parents, Lucas. Thank your parents. Grandpa gave mom gave me teeth made out of fucking clay. My sister's are made of steel, from my dad. Still, while I got my dad's stubby Eastern European body, the tall gene from mom's side goes bald. Win some, lose some.

Posted by: Jay at February 20, 2009 3:37 PM

because I drink a metric fuckton of tap water.

Since when do Americans use the Metric system?

Posted by: admin at February 20, 2009 3:46 PM

I was going to comment on the Porn Flow chart, but I am going to go road test it first. I'll let you know how it works out....

Posted by: Odnon at February 20, 2009 4:39 PM

It's all fun and games until someone gets first degree erectile marinara burns.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 20, 2009 5:15 PM

Then it turns into a game to see who gets to kiss it better.

Posted by: admin at February 20, 2009 5:28 PM

Think Teflon condoms would remedy that, stipe?

Posted by: Odnon at February 20, 2009 5:28 PM

Odnon: Teflon transmits heat (that's why it's great for pans) so all a teflon condom would do is evenly distribute the heat thus evenly searing your penis. Of course your scorched and throbbing flesh wouldn't stick to the condom when you peeled it off, so you've got that going for you.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 20, 2009 5:36 PM

What am I thinking of then? Kevlar? No that's not it. That's for the "Cop" Scenario... And Heat Resistant panels from the space shuttle would just be too cumbersome. But also a great scenario: "Hey Baby, mind if I let my little astronaut out for a spacewalk?"

Posted by: Odnon at February 20, 2009 5:49 PM

Well personally, I just dispense with the props, dress like a pirate, and let the women come to me. Hail to the king, baby. Arrrrr.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 20, 2009 6:00 PM

That's way better than my tactic of dressing up like a parrot and squawking "Polly want a Crack Whore!"

Posted by: Odnon at February 20, 2009 6:09 PM

thank you stacey for forcing me to watch AD, yet AGAIN! eventually I will be able to move the boxset more than 10 feet away from the dvd player without going into a cold sweat, and I might even be able to stop quoting GOB at inappropriate times. Does anyone have a forget-me-now?

Posted by: tj at February 20, 2009 6:16 PM

Wait. How many liters are in a metric fuckton?

Posted by: greer at February 20, 2009 6:32 PM

Hey folks.

Check out this interview with Danny McBride:

http://deadspin.com/5154644/deadspin-editor-aj-daulerio-interviews-danny-mcbride-of-eastbound--down

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 20, 2009 6:45 PM

Wait. How many liters are in a metric fuckton?

I believe the formula is 1000 X variable X fuck.

"Polly want a Crack Whore!"

Well that certainly beats my approach of begging and tears.

Posted by: admin at February 20, 2009 6:47 PM

What a hot model!She looks like a member of ---richromances.com--- where some hollywood celebrities and supermodels are seeking for lov*e.

Posted by: lawrence at February 21, 2009 9:29 AM

I believe that would be a 'fucktonne'.

Kate Winslet defines 'overexposed'. I can guess what Patrick Stewart would say, he'd say: 'Man, I was a metric fucktonne funnier on my episode of EXTRAS'.

So, when's Pookie reviewing the latest Madea movie?

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 21, 2009 5:39 PM

Yes but what about his role in "Jeffrey"?

Posted by: Jay at February 21, 2009 6:59 PM

What, did no one see "Jeffrey"?

Posted by: Jay at February 22, 2009 9:44 AM

re: FOTC--Love me some disco codpieces.

Didn't they do something similar in the Electric Six video for "High Voltage?" They weren't disco balls, but there was lighted genitalia, haha.

Posted by: Stef the Pef at February 22, 2009 7:11 PM

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