Pajiba Love 02/19/09

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | February 19, 2009 | Comments (33)

Bwuh? Seth Rogen is going to appear on the March cover of Playboy. I hope he’s been working out lately. (Page Six)

Katy Perry blew chunks at the Brit Awards wearing an outfit made entirely of Hello Kitty. Coincidence? (WIMB)

And if that wasn’t enough Hello Kitty to make you hurl, this Hello Kitty rice seasoning mix might just do the trick. (TIB)

Holy shit, the NY Post printed pretty much the most racist cartoon ever. (QuizLaw)

Aww, sadness. “The Office’s” Angela Kinsey, who just gave birth recently, has separated from her writer husband. (Evil Beet)

Here are 50 film noir detective names. I love this, and not just because my boyfriend’s name is totally number two on the list. (KSK)

Charlie Sheen’s most recent marriage is predictably not going swimmingly. Namely, she’s in the hospital with early contractions and he’s in Vegas with legalized prostitution. (Celebslam)

In keeping with this Sunday’s upcoming Academy Awards, here is an Oscar Award Speech Generator. It’s fun if you plug in cuss words! (atom)

YES! M.C. Hammer is finally getting his own reality show. I bet you’ll never guess what it’s called. Huh? C’mon, guess! OK, pssst — it’s called “Hammertime.” (Celebitchy)

You too, can “sport the mystical blue wang of Dr. Manhattan” with these new Watchmen condoms. (Agent Bedhead)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is still desperate to prove she’s not a lard-ass so she did push-ups on Leno. Well not on him, you know what I mean. Anyway, in her excitement, she totally forgot she was wearing a low-cut shirt. Klassy! (Popoholic)

Here’s some tips to get your recession drunkening on. I recommend? Box wine, naturally. And here you all laughed and laughed at me. (SeriousEats)

This recession carnivore’in, on the other hand… Yeeesch. I would sooner give up meat entirely before I eat raccoon. (mental floss)

What is the Nazis were really dinosaurs? Well, now we know. Thanks to Mrs. Smith!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

Follow @pajiba

← Three Music DVDs | Eloquent Eloquence 02/19/08 →

Comments

Is him... Seems he is famous on some ta ll da ting place ____T allMingle Co M___ where are many hot models and handsome guys. Many tall singles find their lovers there

Posted by: aniston at February 19, 2009 1:20 PM

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........Rogen....

I love that the spambot is advertising Tall Singles. Because everyone knows tall people need special and exclusive dating services.

Posted by: figgy at February 19, 2009 1:26 PM

Aniston, you crazy bitch.

Posted by: Smokin at February 19, 2009 1:29 PM

Anyway, in her excitement, she totally forgot she was wearing a low-cut shirt.

Jennifer Love Hewitt "forgot" she was wearing a low-cut shirt? That's like saying she forgot she was wearing brown hair.

I don't get what's racist about the cartoon. I also don't get what's supposed to be funny about it, but wouldn't it be calling senators the chimp?

Posted by: Sabrina at February 19, 2009 1:31 PM

Prostitution is not legal in Las Vegas.

While it is legal in the state of Nevada, it is not legal in Reno or Vegas.

Posted by: happy camper at February 19, 2009 1:32 PM

You think Perry's outfit was bad? Find pictures of Lady Ga Ga, she tried to look like a Ming vase. Literally, not just the pattern, an actual vase.

Posted by: admin at February 19, 2009 1:38 PM

It doesn't say a goddamn thing about the condom glowing.

Hey, we know condoms can glow. So who the fuck was asleep at the wheel on that one?

I bought the coffee.

Personally it's the Hello Kitty vibrator that's always made me uneasy, mainly because I envision it like Mr. Bill, with a scared little X-mouthed cat saying "what, where?! OH NOOOOOOO!!"

And Jen? You can do side bends or sit ups, but please don't lose that butt.

Posted by: Jay at February 19, 2009 1:47 PM

HELLO KITTY IS INHERENTLY AWESOME. Period.

See, that cartoon is not only racist, it's aggressively unfunny. Which is also offensive. And kind of proves that the only reason for its existence is to compare our President to a monkey, which is a really racist thing to do. So, yeah, I'm not sure how the cartoonist can claim it's not racist.

I'm totally changing my name to Anna "Switchblade" von Beaverplatz. It's almost as badass as Knife Pile.

Whee! Mad Libs! I love Mad Libs!

Posted by: Anna "Switchblade" von Beaverplatz at February 19, 2009 1:50 PM

It makes me sad for womanity that Charlie Sheen can consistently find women who will not only willingly marry him, but who are willing to bear his children. Like, the fact that it's extremely public knowledge that he'll abandon you and your children for hookers and blow isn't enough disincentive? Really? Right, you're special, he told you so himself.

Now off to check out those Watchmen condoms to make me feel better.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at February 19, 2009 1:51 PM

"...trappers remove the head and three paws, but leave one paw behind to prove the animal is not a dog or cat."

Fantastic. Simply fantastic. I'll remember that next time I order a goddam raccoon roast.

The best part of that article? The friggin' kangaroo at the end. That cat looks like he'd have no problem sweeping mildly brain damaged/low IQ'd ladies off their feet. And yes, by that I'm referring to bestiality...

Posted by: Skitz at February 19, 2009 1:55 PM

That Seth Rogen thing reminds me of Kevin Smith discussing how he was told he was a bit of an icon for bears, and how delighted he was that someone would actually consider him a sex object.

Hilarious.

Also, I'm an occasional bento maker, and if that Hello Kitty mix had a bit more kitty-shaped seaweed I would be all over that shit with the quickness.

Posted by: twig at February 19, 2009 1:57 PM

A"S"vB we get to pick our own nicknames?! Sweet! I will henceforth be known as Admin "Dust Jacket" McGee.

Tremble in fear bitches!

Posted by: admin at February 19, 2009 1:58 PM

admin, it only works if you change your signature to match.

Posted by: twig, high-priestess of the holy order of use the google at February 19, 2009 2:04 PM

Wow! I can't even pretend that I could make myself cool if I wanted to. Which I don't. Unless you guys think I should?

Posted by: admin "Dust Jacket" McGee at February 19, 2009 2:07 PM

I dare say they missed one at KSK.

When will Hewitt just accept that we only care about her for one, well, two reasons and do a photo shoot in Playboy? Time's a wasting, Jenny. 40 is comin' up soon and you ain't Stacy Dash.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 19, 2009 2:10 PM

Aw, you're totally cool, "Dust Jacket".

Y'know, for a Canadian.

Posted by: Anna "Switchblade" von Beaverplatz at February 19, 2009 2:10 PM

I was watching that Dino Nazi video without sound, and in my head I was filling in a musical soundtrack with that ubiquitous violin theme from BSG.

Then I get to the end and it really did have BSG music as a soundtrack. Weird.

Posted by: Snath at February 19, 2009 2:17 PM

It makes me sad for womanity that Charlie Sheen can consistently find women who will not only willingly marry him, but who are willing to bear his children

But he's the Pope compared to O.J., who was still getting action before the action started "getting" him. (Thank you, I'll be here all week.)

See, the quotation marks make it clear I'm cheering for involuntary butt sex for O.J.

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at February 19, 2009 2:26 PM

Re JLH:

I love the other flexing photos because I kept saying "look at those guns!" and confusing myself about what I was referring to.

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at February 19, 2009 2:29 PM

You just made me laugh so much I coughed up a day's worth of phlegm, rikkitikkitavi. I have a horrible hell-spawned cold, but that's beside the point.

Also, I have to tell you I've loved your moniker since I first saw you post. One of the best parts of The Jungle Book.

Posted by: Snath at February 19, 2009 2:41 PM

Hee, thanks Snath. I'm a small mammal who fights cobras. Nice guns!

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at February 19, 2009 2:43 PM

Loved the list of detective names--Butch Longacre totally got into the wrong business, though.

Posted by: meaux at February 19, 2009 2:54 PM

I'm a little confused as to why the cartoon's racist. If I'm not mistaken, weren't there about hundred political cartoons depicting George Bush as a gorilla? Yet it's racist, because Obama's black. Huh.

Posted by: Jaci at February 19, 2009 4:25 PM

Let's get our primates straight here.

Bush was "The Chimp", and this cartoon is also a chimp. An ape, not a monkey, but not a gorilla.

The reason why it's a shitty cartoon is that no one's sure what it's supposed to mean, whatever the hell it does mean. Any racism is moot, it's just shoddy work.

Posted by: Jay at February 19, 2009 4:57 PM

The cartoon is racist because Al Sharpton said so. He sets the current legal standard.

Boxed wine has been a staple in our household for years. Red on the counter, and an extra one of white in the fridge when it's summer. Glad to see it's finally getting some love.

Posted by: katy at February 19, 2009 5:50 PM

^^^^^^^^^^^^ AgelessMate. COM ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with milfs...

Posted by: alish at February 19, 2009 6:07 PM

Mongeeses versus cougars! Everyone wins!

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at February 19, 2009 6:22 PM

I don't know if the cartoon is racist, but I do it's stupid.

And that nearly 5 minutes of Nazi dinosaurs is more enjoyable than the entirety of Blair Witch Project.

Posted by: Slash at February 19, 2009 6:27 PM

I meant "I do KNOW it's stupid." And yeah, it's racist, too, but it's racist in such an obtuse way, it's difficult to explain. I guess my initial confusion (and indifference) stems from the fact that I don't know exactly what the fuck it's supposed to mean. K, so Obama is the monkey? Or is it supposed to represent Congress? Or does the monkey represent the economy (going apeshit)? I don't get it. And the police are shooting it why? And what the fuck does a chimp ripping off a woman's face have to do with the stimulus bill anyway? It's even more stupid and pointless than a Mallard Fillmore cartoon, and that's saying something. This is what happens when neoconservatives try to be funny on purpose and not inadvertently, the way they usually do, by being outed after years of ranting about the threat of the gays.

Posted by: Slash at February 19, 2009 6:53 PM

rikkitikkitavi
---
There is a person living in my state named Shere-Khan Smoot (go ahead, Google and confirm). Perhaps the greatest name ever.

I never saw mention, however, of any siblings named Baloo Smoot or Kaa Smoot. Or, for that matter, Rikkitikkitavi Smoot.

Speaking of names, who is this Katy Perry person and why do y'all keep obsessing over her?

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 20, 2009 12:06 AM

She's the 3rd sign of the Apocalypse buc...I thought everyone knew that.

Posted by: Smokin at February 20, 2009 12:48 AM

The chimp cartoon refers to an incident in Connecticut - a chimpanzee mauled a woman, and was shot by police officers.

I don't think it's racist - the stimulus package was largely written by Congress after all, not Obama. I'm pretty sure the author is just saying that the stimulus bill is disorganized, as if written by a crazed chimp. But it was clear neither the author or the editors were thinking ahead.

Posted by: lastpolarbear at February 20, 2009 12:56 AM

Amen, lastpolarbear. Also, you're one of the people who knows that Congress did indeed write the bill and not Obama. But for the majority of the great unwashed for whom everything out of Washington comes from the president, this is a pretty shitty way to depict him. I'm guessing that it wasn't the cartoonist's intention to be racist; he's probably just a moron, but it comes off horribly.

And Jaci, at least Bush deserved the monkey business.

Posted by: Jessica at February 20, 2009 3:45 PM

Pajiba

Pajiba: Reviews, Commentary, Angst

Comments