Pajiba Love 02/17/10

It's a Day Ending in a "Y" So Twilight Fans Have Found a New Way to Be Creepy

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (56)

Well I can’t say I’m surprised: Someone finally invented a life-sized body pillow of Edward Cullen from Twilight. I’d make a crack, but you know if they invented life-sized body pillows featuring the stars of “Supernatural” my boyfriend would have to find someplace else to sleep. (Film Drunk)

And in other Twilight news, apparently the stars aren’t close to nailing down a deal for the fifth(!) Twilight film, (we’re up to five already?!) which may come sparkling at you in 3-D. (The Playlist)

In celebration of “Sesame Street’s” 40 years on the air, here’s a really fun, illustrated interactive guide of all your favorite Muppets. Thanks, celery! (National Post)

Here are six filmmakers who were, let’s face it, not really that great of people. (PW)

Esquire did a lengthy piece on Roger Ebert and the result is a sad and touching piece. Also, if you’re not following the guy on twitter, you’re missing out. (Celebitchy)

Here’s a list of the 10 worst Oscar Best Pictures of all time. Yeah!!! Fuck you, Beautiful Mind, you boring piece of crap! (Screen Junkies)

It’s been a while since a good old fashioned shitstorm broke out amongst my Pajiba Love comments, so here’s someone who thinks that maybe Mo’Nique and Gabourey Sidibe aren’t as beautiful as Hollywood is telling us they are. Now excuse me while I run away ducked down with my hands protecting my head. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

iiiiiEEEEEEE!!!!! It’s down to the 24 reminding contestants on “American Idol!” That means … Um, something? Right? (Hairballs)

Here’s an open letter to crazed “Lost” fanatics, as many of you undoubtedly fall into that category. (Warming Glow)

SCANDAL! Snooki and JWoww of “Jersey Shore” have come forward to say that they’re not even really Italian. I feel so … Lied to. (Litelysalted)

Here’s John Williams’ top 100 movie list continuation with numbers 80-76. But sorry man, you just lost me at Into the Wild. (ASWOBA)

Here is a review of Hot Chip’s latest LP, “One Life Stand.” (Audiosuede)

I feel like today’s Pajiba Love is rather list heavy, but at any rate, here is a list of Martin Scorsese’s 10 best films. (Rope of Silicon)

It must be Wednesday, so here is a sampling of the latest sophisticated products from the Harriet Carter catalog. (IBBB)

Sometimes I just want to shake Jennifer Love Hewitt and scream in her face “STOP BEING SO ANNOYING, JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT!” (Agent Bedhead)

Sorry guys, today I got nothin’, so here is a video of a pelican attacking a TV weatherman which is all over the internet right now. I promise, tomorrow I’ll do better.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

The Losties letter was mildly entertaining, and more than mildly true, but it still reeks of someone who forgot their chillaxitive this morning. Stop pushing, and just sit back and let it happen.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 17, 2010 1:10 PM

Well, at least the guy kept his important bits out of harm's way. Way to cling to that rock, buddy.

Posted by: DeadBessie at February 17, 2010 1:13 PM

I wish that you would stop hating on Twilight. It is a great read and really well done movie. The Pillow is going to be a great addition my bed. Can't wait to order it.

Posted by: Human Centipede at February 17, 2010 1:13 PM

Hey, Woody Allen is a perfectly decent fellow, who did one fucked up thing. But it ended up working out, right? Right? Whatever.

That Oscar list is totally missing Titanic. And I seriously think in a few years we'll all be tacking Slumdog on there as well. It was probably my #5 out of the five nominees last year. Throw in the movies that deserved nominations but got shafted (TDK, Wall-E), and it's probably still in last place. Wasn't a bad movie, but it was not Best Picture.

I'm surprised and a little disappointed The Departed is so low on that Scorsese list.

I actually liked Into The Wild, especially more than the book, which was fine for the most part but included way too much of Krakauer talking about himself. It barely cracked 100 pages, and he had to pad it to even get it that high.

Posted by: ChristianH at February 17, 2010 1:13 PM

Nope, they's ugly. Not because they're fat, but just because they're ugly. And that's okay. Anjelica Huston ain't no great shakes either and she has the cultural advantages of being white and fit. Shit, the whole goddamn world doesn't have to be Olympian gods. Why can't we just call an ugly motherfucker "ugly" and go on about the goddamn day?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 17, 2010 1:18 PM

I read the article Chez wrote over at DMX and I both agree and disagree. I agree that at first glance, based on what society today would deem beautiful, they are not terribly attractive women.

On the other hand, one of the things I have learned in my life is that talent, sweetness, a giving spirit, confidence etc., can make a person extremely attractive. So, if the opinion is based on looks alone, no they are not attractive. But to me, beauty is not about looks alone.

Posted by: Jadine at February 17, 2010 1:22 PM

Tracer...I think I love you.

I was thinking the same thing. There are many large ladies that are hot as hell. Just like there are many large ladies that are ugly as shit. I don't think either of the ladies in Precious were attractive.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 17, 2010 1:23 PM

Those pillows are so fucking creepy! Their necks are too goddamn long!!!

Posted by: tamatha at February 17, 2010 1:24 PM

Because I have feelings too, and there aren't any bell towers near me where I could hide.

Posted by: Ugly Motherfucker at February 17, 2010 1:26 PM

I wish that you would stop hating on Twilight. It is a great read and really well done movie. The Pillow is going to be a great addition my bed. Can't wait to order it.

Posted by: Human Centipede at February 17, 2010 1:13 PM

Easy for you to say. Do you realize what that crap is like the second time through?

Posted by: Human Centipede - Segment Two at February 17, 2010 1:26 PM

tamatha, I thought the same thing, and then I heard myself saying, "THAT'S why they're creepy?!?"

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 17, 2010 1:28 PM

1) I think I read in a snippet somewhere that Robert Pattinson said he was "allergic to vagina". I filed that under "duh", and another copy under "why would you admit that?".

2) Fuck Ordinary People. And double fuck Shakespeare in Love. If that movie was a person, I'd feed it to the pigs while its' children had to watch from a tank of battery acid.

3) Holy crap does JWoWW look good next to Snookie. She may in fact be smarter than you think. Also I'm almost back to being proud to be Italian. At least until we blow the World Cup.

4) I hate Gangs of New York. Hate hate hate. Cameron Diaz? Uggggghhhhh. Leo as an action hero? Well, Blood Diamond = Good, GofNY = I could kick your lily white ass and save Bill the Butcher's time. Also, Raging Bull at #5? I poop on that list.

And lasty, 5) JLH needs to go away. She never had talent, but now that her body has developed into the silhouette of a fat bowling pin and she's letting Jamie "did I ever have any measure of talent" Kennedy bang her, her relevance lies in between seaweed and Sanskrit.

Posted by: D-Day at February 17, 2010 1:28 PM

Easy for you to say. Do you realize what that crap is like the second time through?

Posted by: Human Centipede - Segment Two

You think you got it rough?

Posted by: Human Centipede - Segment Three at February 17, 2010 1:36 PM

Braaaap-p-p--p-p-p-p-pfffft!

Posted by: Human Centipede - Segment Four. at February 17, 2010 1:39 PM

Human Centipede Segments -- can't you just talk to each other? Is it really so difficult, while Back Segment is crapping or you're all stuck going around a traffic circle, to say "So, I'm thinking of getting a Twilight Pillow. Thoughts?" and have a rational discussion? I find your inability to communicate directly disturbing and indicative of a severe problem with our generation.

Posted by: esme at February 17, 2010 1:39 PM

I am all for non-skeletal body types being represented truthfully on film. I am no slim chicken myself. But as much as I like seeing ladies the size of America Fererra, Sarah Ramierez, Queen Latifah, etc being represented as sexy and beautiful, the likes of Monique and this Gabourey Sidibe are a little too big for the 'most beautiful' category. I can identify with Sarah Ramirez. And while a bit bigger than the usual actress, she is lovely and doesn't look like she could keel over from a heart attack if she walked up a flight of stairs.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at February 17, 2010 1:47 PM

That Esquire article on Roger Ebert made me late to work. Absolutely worth it. A beautiful person.

Posted by: vllach at February 17, 2010 1:49 PM

Esme,
we are going through a rough time right now. Please be a little more gentle on us.
Segments Two and Three,
You have never complained before. I mean, Two, do I complain when you are craving White Castle?
Three, I have no problem kneeling in front of the TV while you watch CSI New York.

Posted by: Human Centipede at February 17, 2010 2:03 PM

Since when is there a Human Centipede Segment Four? Did the sequel come out already? Where are the stills???

Posted by: MM at February 17, 2010 2:08 PM

If Mo'Nique wasn't a movie star but was instead "Mo'Nique the Hardees Night Manager" you'd keep 500 feet away from her just in case ugly was contagious.

lol

Posted by: EricD at February 17, 2010 2:15 PM

Since my first reaction to seeing Gabourey Sidibe was to immediately say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW and want to cuddle her like a teddy bear because she's fucking adorable, I disagree that either woman is not beautiful.

Also, seriously, if Tracer Bullet doesn't get shit for saying these women are ugly, when I got railroaded for calling Lady Gaga, who is legitimately unattractive, ugly, then I'm coming to all your houses with beehives. ANGRY BEEHIVES.

Sorry Tracer but double standards aint cool in my book of 'Things that are, and are not cool'

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 2:33 PM

Great, great, Pajiba Love today Stacey. Totally killed a couple hours of the day.

Posted by: EricD at February 17, 2010 2:39 PM

REAL TALK: I'd get busy with Monique. Sorry!

Posted by: the new transported man at February 17, 2010 2:44 PM

That list of bad Oscar winners was great, but I will defend The English Patient up and down again. Long does not equal boring. A Beautiful Mind can suck it, though.

Posted by: welldressed at February 17, 2010 2:44 PM

Jared Padalecki's pillow would be the size of a mattress.

Also, season 6 confirmed. Apocalypse2:Electric Boogaloo

Posted by: sarahk at February 17, 2010 2:45 PM

Nadine, it wasn't what you said, it was how you said it. Too much misdirected rage and it rubbed people the wrong way. I love you and when I saw your comments I was mildly agitated (though I didn't comment) because you were unreasonably cruel. Truly you just had a momentary lapse in restraint and people jumped on you for it. Tracer was pretty measured in his comment and it didn't come off as malicious or mean spirited, just humorous and honest. You lost your normally silly tone and came off as simply mean. No biggie, but people were a little offended by the tone not necessarily the opinion.

Posted by: becks at February 17, 2010 2:46 PM

I had to follow that Twilight pillow all the way to the original site just to see how much they were charging for something so shitballs crazy and they want $35.00. Also, they sold out 2 days ago, because of course they did. I'm surprised that they weren't charging more and I hope someone bought one for Robert Pattinson. Perhaps once he sees this insanity, he can be scared off from acting.

Posted by: Peanut_Butter_And_James at February 17, 2010 2:48 PM

The pillows make no sense to me. If you want someone to remind you of Edward Cullen, find the "nice guy" in your school/place of work/D&D group, throw some goop on his hair and let him stalk you while also teasing then rejecting you at regular intervals. If you want a Wolf boy, just find the nearest 'roid pusher and ask if he knows of any cradles you can rob. Not like you're getting good conversation out of either the character or the pillow (or Taylor whatsis, for that matter).

Or, you know, find better fictional characters to lust after and see if you can disappoint yourself finding men like them instead.

Posted by: Reba at February 17, 2010 2:51 PM

Silly? I'm never silly! I'm very serious!

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 2:52 PM

Also, that pillow thing is frightening.Why, exactly, is its neck SO long?

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 2:52 PM

So it can fluff itself

Posted by: MillyQPublic at February 17, 2010 2:59 PM

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 3:05 PM

BA-ZING!

Posted by: admin at February 17, 2010 3:05 PM

I was using silly in place of funny not as in frivolous.

Posted by: becks at February 17, 2010 3:06 PM

I do think Mo'Nique is beautiful. Gabby Sidibe is so cute. And especially, I don't give a goddamn what People thinks is beautiful. I liked that bit from Deus Ex because in the end, none of that vanity shit means anything. (Even tho that Hardee's line is kinda harsh.) There are lots of things to hate about people, but I don't hate someone for what's going on on the outside. While it's a worthwhile question, not everything has to come down to whether I (or anyone else) would hit it or not.

That Edward Cullen pillow is making me cackle, tho. :)

Posted by: Chickaboom at February 17, 2010 3:16 PM

Becks! I am silly and frivolous

Fair enough I suppose, and thanks for saying i'm funny and I love you too.
GIVE ME A KISSSSSSSSSSSSS

Ahem.
Sorry.
I bought an enormous bag of sweets today. Just enormous.

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 3:23 PM

I actually think Mo'Nique (man, it hurts to have to add that stupid apostrophe, thanks, Mo) is quite lovely. The girl who played Precious in the movie is not what I would call beautiful, but she is striking. She probably would be beautiful (not to mention healthier) if she'd drop 100 pounds.

I do agree that having "Beautiful" lists is pointless, but then, so are many other things. And it happens with men, too. I've heard/read people express that Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger are hot, when neither one of them is or ever were. They both look like trolls who sneak into houses at night and steal children.

Posted by: Slash at February 17, 2010 3:38 PM

*kisses* Nadine. Now be a nice girl and share your candy!

Posted by: becks at February 17, 2010 3:43 PM

NO IT IS MY CANDY AND NO ONE CAN HAVE ANY!!

Ahem, actually you can have a candy necklace or a liquorice comfit/torpedo

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 3:50 PM

Haha, deal.

Posted by: becks at February 17, 2010 4:02 PM

I think the really creepy part about those Twilight manllows is that they don't have any, how shall I say, bottoms. There's nothing below the waist. I guess that makes them authentic, right? I guess they have extra long necks to overcompensate for lack of below the waist?

Posted by: BWeaves at February 17, 2010 4:06 PM

See, that's the thing of it, Slash... I agree that both Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger are, to be diplomatic, not attractive men. But give me a performance by young Mick, slithering all around the stage, and ohmigod I'ma need some fresh panties all up in here. There's something just so HOT about him, even though he's not what would be traditionally considered attractive.

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at February 17, 2010 4:07 PM

BWeaves, well...Maybe once the last film is out and it's suggestive montage of trains going through tunnels has been used to represent the freaky vampire sex, then they'll sell legs for it?

Posted by: Nadine at February 17, 2010 4:08 PM

HAHAHA, MillyQ, that made me practically squawk in my cubicle!

On the topic of Beauty (Aesthetic) vs Beauty (Inner): Gabie S may be an increidble actress, and a truly inspiring woman, but damn if I don't wince every time I see her. Amazing, impressive, loads of other positive adjectives. But not aesthetically pleasing. Mo is probably at least 3/4s crazy bitch in real life, but she is funny, brave and, in my opinion, stunning. But I've only ever seen her doused in make-up and good weaves (I still haven't seen Precious).

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 17, 2010 4:16 PM

Indeed AvM indeed. True story: when I told my mom I was more of a Stones girl than Beatles, her response, I kid you not, was, "but they're so ugly." Well, sure, but what does that have to do with the music? And anyway I'd sleep with Jagger over Paul McCartney any day. He may not be much to look at but you know he'd rock as much in bed as on stage.

Posted by: dr. pisaster at February 17, 2010 4:42 PM

The asshole movie makers list needs Sam Peckinpah. The guy was a slave-driver and even didn't stop working when the fluids from his open hemorrhoids ran down his legs.

Posted by: FabMax at February 17, 2010 6:11 PM

See, where beauty is concerned, we all have our own ideas and that's fine. What I object to is this whole PCness about obesity. It's not healthy and certainly not "OK" or beautiful. There's curvy, then there's downright obese, ok? Let's not confuse the two just to avoid the PC police. I hope someone gets that poor kid a personal trainer soon.

Posted by: Joker at February 17, 2010 6:49 PM

OH MY GOD, people! Are you fucking kidding me? They are grotesqueries. They are foul only-nearly-human forms masquerading as movie stars. They are disgusting, repugnant trolls and YOU KNOW IT!

Can they act? Y'know, I haven't seen the movie, but I know it doesn't fucking matter. How about THAT! The question isn't "Are they talented." The question is "Are the fat and disgusting? Can you look at them without wishing you were looking at ANYTHING ELSE? Do you want to blind yourself this afternoon?"

And Lady Gaga? Oh man, you have to be kidding me! She's the most foul, wretched, beaky looking woman I've ever laid one eye on (I can't do both, I just can't). Now, I know that SHE isn't talented, but again -- not the point! She is U.G.L.Y. and she ain't got no alibi! She UGLY! She looks an inbred Adrian Brody clone dressed like a bloody tampon, covered in glitter and SASS! *jazz hands*

All a' yous peoples is fuckin' crazy, yo! Yous r'crazy and I hate all a yous!

(psst...Stacy...I did it for you, babe. I love a good shitstorm.)

You CRAZY! Ya hear that? What, mutha-fucka'? WHAT?

Posted by: superasente at February 17, 2010 8:44 PM

She looks an inbred Adrian Brody clone dressed like a bloody tampon, covered in glitter and SASS! *jazz hands*

I saw the pics of this thing at the UK Grammys, and I stood up, crept slowly towards the monitor, and spoke:

"AS A DULY DESIGNATED REPRESENTATIVE OF THE CITY, COUNTY, AND STATE OF NEW YORK, I ORDER YOU TO CEASE ANY AND ALL SUPERNATURAL ACTIVITY AND RETURN FORTHWITH TO YOUR PLACE OF ORIGIN OR TO THE NEAREST CONVENIENT PARALLEL DIMENSION".

Posted by: D-Day at February 17, 2010 9:15 PM

@ superasente:

mmmmmmmm Adrien Brody. I would do horrifyingly dirty things to him that would send us both straight to hell. And at least seven of them involve that fantastical nose.

P.S. Where were you last week?! Nadine needed you!

Posted by: Anna von Murderpuppet at February 17, 2010 10:35 PM

That LOST post was such a letdown. Could of be way funnier, but just saying "You suck because you are annoying because you suck"... ehh..

Posted by: Brian at February 18, 2010 12:36 AM

I was there, Anna Von Murderpuppet (better not touch Porkchop); I just wasn't saying anything. Sometimes I just need to avoid the drama.

AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!

*achem* sorry. It's a work in progress.

Posted by: superasente at February 18, 2010 1:51 AM

Suprasente...Preach...TESTIFY!!!!

Posted by: Nadine at February 18, 2010 5:39 AM

Sweet fancy Moses. I've been waiting to get on that People list for YEARS and they put Alien and Predator on it?

That's it, People, we are sooooo OVER!

*cancels lifetime subscription*

Posted by: , at February 18, 2010 9:41 AM

if they had a dean winchester body pillow, it'd be all over but the shoutin

Posted by: alison at February 18, 2010 9:54 AM

If they come out with a Twilight shower nozzle, I'm seriously going to CUT someone.

Posted by: Craig at February 18, 2010 7:13 PM

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It's a Day Ending in a "Y" So Twilight Fans Have Found a New Way to Be Creepy

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