Pajiba Love 02/13/08

Pajiba Love

The shit is about to hit the fucking fan. Dear Pajiba friend Chez has been unceremoniously kicked to the curb by his employers at CNN, who clearly were not appreciative of his genius — for blogging, no less. Revolt, motherfuckers!!! (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Missing: Courteney Cox’s dignity and self-respect. Last seen: The 7th season of “Friends”? (WIMB)

Awesome! Brides have found yet another way to humiliate and degrade their bridesmaids besides peach taffeta and the holding up of the dress to pee thing. (QuizLaw)

Oh dear sweet Jesus: a comprehensive list of America’s Best Sandwiches. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to start gnawing on the corner of my desk. (Esquire)

Everyone know what tomorrow is? That’s right: Tequilamas! It’s the most fun fake holiday since Festivus! (Circular Logic)

Pajiba reader Ian has submitted a video to Be Kind, Rewind’s “Rewind Kindly” contest. You can view and vote for it here! (Filmmaking Frenzy)

Lily Allen’s new talk show is even more uncomfortable and self-indulgent than Tyra. Way to go, BBC! (IDLYITW)

The Cultural Antichrist is a sad panda because we all laughed and ridiculed her feeble attempt at artistic expression. So now we can all laugh and ridicule her pain! (The Blemish)

This just in from the always helpful and informative Fox News: You shouldn’t buy Valentine’s candy leftover from last year, or you might find worms! (Jezebel)

Monday Night Football’s Chris Berman loves him some Canadian drugs. Of course, he’s not above making fun of the Canadians who sell him such drugs. What a guy — after the jump.

Pajiba Love | February 13, 2008 | Comments (46)

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Comments

Hell yeah on that Italian beef. Add some steak fries and the au jus, and I'm happy.

Posted by: Brie at February 13, 2008 3:41 PM

Damm you CNN! If I watched you I wouldn't anymore.

And with no severance. Bastards.

I have been reading his blog for over a year now and had no idea where he worked. Why did it take them this long to notice the blog? Was it because he started writing on Huffington?

By the way, this post about it mentions Pajiba:
http://www.thepomoblog.com/archive/blogger-loses-day-job-with-cnn-over-blogging/

Posted by: Brian at February 13, 2008 3:45 PM

I just...Chez...CNN....GAH.

Fuckers.

It really brings up the right of free speech issue, no?

Posted by: boo at February 13, 2008 3:56 PM

Is there time on the Pajiba Busted Tour to stop by CNN headquarters?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 13, 2008 4:06 PM

Fuck. Poor Chez.

I thought CNN was all about blogging - Anderson Cooper's show has it's own, doesn't it? I'm curious to see how & why this happened.

Posted by: Kolby at February 13, 2008 4:08 PM

Unfortunately, I can't think of anything better to do for Chez than to offer my sympathy, and perhaps write an angry letter.

But... if we write ENOUGH angry letters... maybe?

Fuck it. It's worth a shot.

And Kolby, apparently it's because he failed to seek their approval for his blog. Which is ridiculous... even if they have that policy, firing him? Bullshit.

Posted by: TK at February 13, 2008 4:10 PM

Blogging worlds collide! Talking Points picked up on the Chez story:

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/178343.php

Posted by: megbon at February 13, 2008 4:10 PM

A big ol' FUCK YOU to CNN. Something better is out there for ya, Chez. You're better than that shit.

Also, if a bride cares that much about her bridesmaids gaining weight, then what's she going to do if her husband puts on a few over the years? Oh, right--karma will bite her in the ass, and he will leave her for a skinnier bitch. Got it!

Posted by: em at February 13, 2008 4:14 PM

So who all's gonna be celebrating Tequilamas? Anybody?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 13, 2008 4:19 PM

Shadows: yes PLEASE.

And I concur on the "fuck yous" to CNN.

Posted by: Julie at February 13, 2008 4:23 PM

CNN is going to be kicking themselves when Chez becomes the Walter Kronkite of our time.

Now...see...I like Lily Allen's music...but what is the deal with the talk show thing? I don't understand actors, singers, or especially models trying to start talk shows.

And I have never, nor will I ever, watch anything that Montaq girl is in...but I find it absolutely hilarious that she's crying and whining that she's not as big a slutlet as NapVag and Lohan. That made my day. Cry, bitch.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 13, 2008 4:35 PM

You should read the interview with her at TWoP, Shadows, she comes across as SUCH a dimwit.

Posted by: Julie at February 13, 2008 4:55 PM

I'd like to add another heaping dose of "FUCK YOU" to the CNN pile. I haven't liked them for a while, but now I kind of hate them. Chez, you deserve much better... On to better things, then!

On a lighter note, as a girl from the South, I have to say I cheered when I spotted the Chick-Fil-A sandwich on the Esquire list. There are very few out here in CA. Fortunately, I have a few saintly friends who will actually bring me Chick-Fil-A when they visit from out of state. Mmmmm...Chick-Fil-A...(cue Homer-esque drooling)

One of those sandwiches would actually make a perfect Tequilamas starter. And hell yes, I'm celebrating! Hats off to ATO for her diligent anthropological research. (note playing-along tone). Ms. theOdd, you are my kind of scholar.

Posted by: ShinyKate at February 13, 2008 4:59 PM

Tequilamas also happens to land on Arizona's Birthday. Cheers to the youngest continental US state turning 96!

Posted by: Laura at February 13, 2008 5:12 PM

Not at all surprised, Julie. She looks like she's constantly concentrating on breathing and keeping her head elevated. One of these days, I'll find out who made being dumb with a plastic doll's body attractive, and throttle them in their sleep.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 13, 2008 5:43 PM

It's seven dollars, not ten. Too bad he can't count-count-count. I don't even get that joke. Can a big, strong, smart Yankee explain it to a poor, ig'nant l'il-widdle Commonweath-Bunny? I don't know, this dude was too much a joke to get offended. Damned annoying, though. You don't just repeat the same made-up phrase ad nauseum to have it qualify as humour.

But honestly, they aren't the wonder-drug that leaves you dazed and tripping for hours that he makes them out to be. They're called Tylenol-1, and yeah, granted, they work SOOOOOOOOOOO much better than the other stuff, but come on. You'l NEVER get high off of it, unless you're tricking yourself into some psychosomatic bunk. They have caffeine in them, which obviously balances out the codeine.

Hand to God, I don't even know where people get this idea about the 'eh' thing. I don't anybody who says it. Maybe once in a long while, but, whatever. I think a lot of people got snowed by SCTV a long time ago, and haven't cleared up the confusion.

And isn't it EMBARASSING the way so many Canadians can speak two languages? How retarded is that? Do you know what 'Deshabillez votre chemise, et allez a l'enfer, cochon' means? Too bad. This commentator, 'elle a du chienne, n'est-ce pas?'

Salope.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 13, 2008 6:00 PM

Does Chez live in California or work there? Because in California, and in some other states, it might be illegal for CNN to fire him over that. It's surprising how frequently employers don't vet high-profile terminations through counsel.

In California, there's a law that essentially prohibits firing someone for lawful, off-duty conduct. There's also a state constitutional provision that applies free speech rights to private entities to some extent.

BTW, the First Amendment in no way limits a private employer's right to fire someone for speech the employer doesn't like. But California law does, and some other states' laws do. And it is pretty ironic for CNN to take such action. I agree with the commenter above about stopping watching CNN, if only they were relevant enough that I watched them in the first place.

Where is Paddy?

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 13, 2008 6:18 PM

socalled: Chez is in NYC, and I have no earthly clue what kind of labor laws they have in the state of NY. But I thought that there was a strong labor presence in NY, so the labor laws might not be too permissive with regards to firing. But what the do I know?

Firings were weird at Corporate Hell; two dudes who got drunk and disorderly at a baseball game while wearing Corporate Hell t-shirts were canned. Yet the batshit insane chick I worked with who lied about her hours, took grievance leave to go to the beach, went on short-term medical leave to take a real estate course, and screamed racism every time she got a negative review left of her own will. Grrrrrr.

Would it seem weird to reach out to my friend who is a producer at Newsweek.com in NYC about Chez? Yes girlie, he's a total stranger. It would be weird.

On a lighter note, whenever my old team took business trips up to the Great White North, there was at least one co-worker who got us to bring back some Tylenol-1. The last time I went, we had several requests and one of my co-workers was so afraid that we were bringing in illegal quantities of the stuff that she had me hide some amongst my pre-natal vitamins. Nuts, I tell you. Just nuts.

Jo 'Mama' Besser: As part of a group project in my freshman theatre seminar, we had to write and perform a one-act play. My character's name was Bianca Salope. We were such clever little foxes.

Posted by: Alabamapink at February 13, 2008 7:26 PM

BTW, the First Amendment in no way limits a private employer's right to fire someone for speech the employer doesn't like.

I'm glad you mentioned this, socalled, as I am perplexed at the declarations of "so much for freedom of speech!" that I've been reading. To my knowledge, he still has that right - he just has no job. Which, yes, does indeed suck, but the undercurrent of "his rights were violated!" seem incongruous to what happened.

Posted by: Daphne at February 13, 2008 7:48 PM

Daphne and socalled, you are correct - free speech has nothing to d with this this.

However, Chez is notoriously critical of the media (though I don't believe he's ever mentioned CNN, nor said that he works there), and, well... draw your won conclusions.

I can't help but think that if he was blogging about, say, quilting or sports or woodcarving, he'd still be employed, just with a stern letter in his personnel file.

Posted by: TK at February 13, 2008 8:03 PM

Lily Allen's chat show is rubbish? Who didn't see that coming?

Especially as her show was on BBC3, which has a somewhat soiled reputation in the UK.

The digital-only output is supposed to be edgy comedy aimed at the young adult market. This usually translates into unfunny wankfests with audiences of literally...dozens.

Posted by: Simon B at February 13, 2008 8:06 PM

Well, TK, I sure don't want to sound approving. The First Amendment does permit Nazi marches in Skoki, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. CNN needs to sack up and show some good voluntary ethics around the notion of freedom of expression.

And of course you're right about the subject matter ...

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at February 13, 2008 8:11 PM

Socalled, it wasn't my intention to say you sounded one way or another... in fact, I really was just agreeing with you. My other points were simply random thoughts.

Sadly, CNN, like almost every large human institution, has become bloated and decrepit, and no longer even knows what it's purpose is.

Posted by: TK at February 13, 2008 8:25 PM

I can't help but think that if he was blogging about, say, quilting or sports or woodcarving, he'd still be employed, just with a stern letter in his personnel file.

I hear you, TK. But.....he admitted, based on the link Brian provided, that he knew there was a risk (to his employment) writing in such a forthright manner. Does that mean I agree with CNN's decision? No. I don't watch CNN, but I'm not ready to burn them at the stake, either. Maybe it's just the HR professional in me, as my first thought was to whether he potentially violated any Code of Business Conduct or Confidentiality agreements. Usually, such documents are written strictly to protect company interests, good or bad, and an employee can unfortunately be terminated for such violations.

Given his aptitude for the "virtual" pen, I get the feeling he won't be unemployed for long. You know what they say - no such thing as bad publicity. In my experience, those who get fired under such circumstances usually come out much better on the other side.

Posted by: Daphne at February 13, 2008 8:30 PM

Wait a minute - Chris Berman takes drugs!! Who knew. He seems so level headed

Posted by: Brian at February 13, 2008 9:14 PM

Hmm. I say "eh", but never the way it's imitated. Generally if I use it, I'm trying to get someone's opinion (e.g. "This shirt is kind of cute, eh?"). I don't know what's so funny about it. It's a rather useful interjection. Anyway, that man's laugh is terrible. Cghhh-cghh-cghh, eh?
I'm surprised muffaletta wasn't on that sandwich list.

Posted by: Lannie at February 13, 2008 9:27 PM

a) I have always hated Chris Berman. I wish he would "go. all. the. way" to hell.

b) The Trailer Park Monte Christo is my new favorite sandwich. Must make a batch of those babies this weekend. mmmm....fried peanut butter.

c)Fuck CNN. Now I'm going to have to start watching FOXNews. hehehe.... who am I kidding?

Posted by: wsapnin at February 13, 2008 9:40 PM

I love the idea of a roving band of Pajibans traveling the country in a van, ready to pounce on media injustices everywhere. The visual in my head of the door sliding open and a bunch of roughians spilling out to cause chaos and mayhem, then just as abruptly getting back in the van and tearing away is beautiful.

It especially pleases me to picture this happening at the CNN offices in NYC. Sorry to hear about Chez, but his future is bright and CNN is shortsighted.

Posted by: katy at February 13, 2008 9:51 PM

Bianca Salope?!

I love that name. Too bad that was on the imaginary list of words we couldn't say at school. I really don't know what is so funny about the word 'eh' either. But I can't even skate, so maybe I'm not a model Canadian.

I actually learned something interesting about the way we speak in Canada from a Chaucer professor I had a few years ago. During the shift from Middle English to Early Modern English (never take a class where all the reading is in Middle English--three years later, and my teeth are still clenched), something called The Great Vowel Shift of 1500 occurred. Apologies to everyone who knows about this. The pronunciation of words became stabilised long before the spelling did, but it was definitely a process. It's actually a little sad, Middle English was the lovliest, most melifluous language I have ever heard. Makes sense since it was as much Latin and medieval French as it was 'English'.

J.R.R. Tolkein was a scholar and professor of all of this stuff, so Middle English sounds a lot like those 'Elvish' dialects.

Anyway, as people migrated from England over to Canada, they retained their own accents, obviously. The medieval accent is apparently most present in our pronounciation of vowels. Now, there are many different accents in this country, and the one people imitate is a bastardisation and exaggeration of ones you would hear in the maritimes, Nova Scotia, I guess. Not that it's even accurate. Trust me, there are differences, and if a person from the east coast is speaking to me too quickly, I won't be able to understand. Those accents sit back further in the throat, which sounds a bit like an adenoidal quaver to the uninitiated--like me.

So a whole bunch of circumstances contributed to changing accents, as they do, but the way that we pronounce our 'ou' (more like the sound in 'house' than the ubiquitous 'doubt', I'm afraid, something else going on there), or our 'i' (like in 'wife'), changes and becomes more round and very long, and is pushed forward when pluralised. This, I was told, is a change that does not occur in English people nowadays, but absolutely did in that crazy changeover period.

SO, he didn't go on any further, but it turns out that over here, our accents are in a number of ways, throwbacks to that time. Not so the case in England. Strange, huh?

I'm sorry, I can't get out of my pedantic mode. I'm writing a bunch of papers for chaired events and gearing up my thesis. What I'm saying is that I'm only sleeping about four hours a night, and I'm seeing new colours. I've produced 30 pages on Erik Satie in the last six days. I don't know who cares about Erik Satie, but I could do with not thinking about him for a while. Too bad that I have so much more stupid boring shit to say about him. So it goes. But it's true about academics being so passionate and such maladjusted assholes. They have to care because nobody else does, and you have to make up reasons for something to be important when the stakes are so low.

Bianca Salope. I like it, I should make it an alias. I don't know where it'll fit in with Jo 'Mama' Besser, Birchbald T. Barlow, Shameless O'Fracas, Corky St. Careful and Quincy McFakename, but I'll find a way.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 13, 2008 11:38 PM

Bridesmaid post + sandwich post = never having to do a Skank Cancer in real life. Thanks, Pajiba!

Posted by: Kris at February 14, 2008 12:10 AM

Re: Chez getting the boot from CNN.

First of all, I had no idea he worked there, nor was I curious, and I've been reading his blog for 2 years now.
Still, it strikes me a bit weird that in a media culture where the news is so opinionated, where a mere newsreader has converted from simple messenger to judge & jury, where a neutral POV is not even remotely held up, a network can't get by the fact that one of their employees does the same in a personal blog.

(I don't live in the USofA, so my opinion on American news & journalism is probably biased)

Posted by: Adere at February 14, 2008 4:25 AM

Add my giant "FUCK YOU" to the chorus towards CNN. Fuckers.

I really can't be any more articulate on the matter other than that.

Changing the topic entirely: I'm glad to see Tequilamas getting the recognition that it so richly deserves. Cheers everyone!

Posted by: Alex the Odd at February 14, 2008 4:41 AM

Jo 'Mama' Besser: That was very interesting (no sarcam, I love linguistics - the evolution of languages, and words on a basic level is fascinating) and makes complete sense. I heard something similar in my French class re: "Canadian/Acadian" French vs. "France" French, that the North American French dialect was much closer to pure French than what's spoken in France these days. Which also explains why my uncles who took French in H.S. here in the States couldn't understand my Grandma and Mimi (great grandmother) when they spoke Canadian French.

Posted by: pinkcheese at February 14, 2008 10:01 AM

Yes, yes, yes; of course CNN's decision to fire Chez is not technically infringing on his right to free speech (geesh, you people are so literal! i kid..), it still reeks of reactionary injustice. I certainly wouldn't feel free if I thought my company might fire me over a personal blog.

Posted by: boo at February 14, 2008 10:04 AM

boo...believe it or not, it's been happening with increasing frequency. Not only have I heard of more cases like this....but I myself lost my job last year because of my personal blog. Employers are starting to consider blogs, personal webpages, and the internet itself as reason enough to get rid of someone.

Jo 'Mama' Besser, I didn't know all that...it is good to know. I read a lot of Tolkien, so I've always been interested in the middle english depicted in his works. Know that your extensive all-nighters are doing good! At least for us here, hehe.

Happy Tequilamas everybody! Alex, I'm counting down the hours until I can go home and celebrate properly. Thanks!

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 10:26 AM

Where is the Muffaletta? Or the Po'boy?

Bad sandwich listing.

I have a pretty good feeling that Chez will land on his feet. I hate CNN, but mostly because I think that they kill brain cells and Blitzer's beard scares me. Best of luck to him.

Fox news at least lets me argue with the TV.

Posted by: Melody at February 14, 2008 11:43 AM

That's crazy, Chez. I mean, you were blogging instead of doing your job and you got fired? I don't get it. My employer loves paying me to not work.

Douche.

Posted by: Murray at February 14, 2008 12:56 PM

Wow, almost a full 24 hours before the first anti-Chez troll pokes his head out . I guess they're getting even slower on the uptake...

Posted by: pinkcheese at February 14, 2008 1:46 PM

Don't think it was a matter of him blogging on the clock, you asshat. From the impression I get, CNN producers are too fucking busy to take liberties with excessive personal use of the internet.

Posted by: Stacey at February 14, 2008 2:10 PM

Sandwich list addendum: Beef on Weck from Charlie the Butcher's.

Posted by: zeppellyn at February 14, 2008 2:11 PM

Chez = not a douche. But whatever, asshat.

Another sandwich list addendum--the Paulie Walnuts at my friend's little hole-in-the-wall family-owned restaurant, Rollin' in Dough. Steak, red peppers, pesto, pine nuts, basil and fresh mozzarella. Ten kinds of awesome.

Posted by: em at February 14, 2008 2:21 PM

em...you just made my mouth water. I am noting that sandwich, and trying at home tonight.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 2:30 PM

Beef on Weck! How I love thee. Hand cut...delicious salty roll....Anderson's has NOTHING on Charlie.

I miss Buffalo, if only for the tasty bad-for-you food like wings, beef on weck and Ted's hot dogs.

Posted by: pajamas at February 14, 2008 2:45 PM

Shadows--it really is ten kinds of awesome. He also uses some really good ciabatta for that sandwich. Good luck with trying it out. Another idea from my friend's place--his Al Forno, which is grilled chicken breast, muenster, red onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and a home-made chipotle mayo. He also makes his own seasoned potato chips. Ughhhh...now I'm starving!

Posted by: em at February 14, 2008 2:57 PM

Oh, man...I have to visit this place! All of that sounds awesome.

And you know the best part of experimenting with new sandwich ideas is being able to eat your misguided attempts at cuisine!

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 3:00 PM

Haha, I completely agree! And if you're ever in Chicago (well, more accurately, Evanston, IL), you do need to visit the place. I discovered it when I was in college and have been faithful ever since.

...and since I shamelessly promote this place anyway...

www.rollin2go.com

It should give you a few more ideas. :) Is it sad that I want my friend to name a sandwich after me? That's not asking too much, right? Heh.

Posted by: em at February 14, 2008 3:10 PM

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