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Crazy Octuplet Lady Finally Rears All Nine Heads

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | February 9, 2009 | Comments (57)

The crazy octuplet lady finally made her first public appearance on the “Today” show this morning. So, in case you had any doubts over her craziness you can finally put your mind to rest. (Celebitchy)

Christian Bale is fucking sorry, OK?! (WIMB)

My grandmother is like 90 and can’t hear for shit and still drives all around Philly, where she lives, and it’s nothing short of an enigma to me that she hasn’t killed anyone yet. (QuizLaw)

What the hell? I barely know who Chris Brown and Rihanna even are, but apparently Chris Brown beat up Rihanna. (The Blemish)

It’s not usually my practice to link to posts of baby pictures on Pajiba Love, but I couldn’t resist baby vs. prunes. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Did anyone else hear about the shoplifting dog? I didn’t hear about the shoplifting dog. Hmph. Anyway, the shoplifting dog has been identified. (DListed)

That prick Eddie Murphy has been ordered to pay $51,000 a month child support to Scary Spice. Not that I don’t totally wish it on him or anything, but isn’t Scary Spice kind of like, you know, rich? (Evil Beet)

Here’s Madonna, as usual, photoshopped within an inch of her life in that W magazine spread with her new fuck friend. (Jezebel)

Speaking of Madonna’s, uh, conquerings… You’ll never guess who tested positive for steroids! That’s right, Guy Ritchie. (YBNBY)

Jeremy wrote a song about Pajiba, and so naturally it’s just the sort of thing I link to here on Pajiba Love. Not just because it mentions this very column or anything. (NotesOnBarNapkins)

Jane Seymour, as in, not Stephanie Seymour that model from the 80’s who used to be married to Axl Rose but someone different entirely, designed some piece of crap for Kay jewelers that looks… Strangely like something else. Hee! (KSK)

Here’s a clip of Katy Perry being annoying and retarded at the Grammys, if TK’s recap wasn’t enough to satisfy your curiosity. Site NSFW! (DrunkenStepfather)

And because we can’t get enough of Christian Bale, here is Joel McHale’s take:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.







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Comments

Wasn't that Stephanie Seymour, who was married to Axel Rose

Posted by: badalamenti at February 9, 2009 1:03 PM

Wait, so who is Jane Seymour then? I'm out of it this morning.

Posted by: Stacey at February 9, 2009 1:05 PM

And also, it's not even morning anymore. Which should say something.

Posted by: Stacey at February 9, 2009 1:07 PM

Aww Dr. Quinn ... it was like 7th Heaven in a podunk 19th century town instead of a podunk 20th century town.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 9, 2009 1:09 PM

$51,000 a month?!? I dont know much about child support (lucky me), but is she feeding this baby gold-plated Gerber? Wiping his ass with a Mercedes?

Posted by: SoCold at February 9, 2009 1:10 PM

Jesus, Nosek, put down the boxed wine and pull yourself together.

Posted by: TK at February 9, 2009 1:10 PM

Yeah, Jane is Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, and she was the hot mom in Wedding Crashers who makes Owen Wilson feel her new knockers.

Re Octuplet Woman: So is everyone on board with the judicious use of involuntary sterilization now?

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at February 9, 2009 1:10 PM

Jane Seymour's stupid jewelry doesn't even look like hearts. It looks like the symbol for Gay Zorro.

Posted by: Sean at February 9, 2009 1:17 PM

What are you all, six? Nothing about her being a Bond Girl?

Anyway, Jane's jewelry...is that what you'd call "fuckery" these days?

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2009 1:21 PM

Jane Seymour was (is?) an actress. She was in that movie with Christopher Reeve that I always forget the name of where they're in the past but they're in the present OH YEAH! it's called Somewhere in Time.

You'll never guess who tested positive for steroids! That's right, Guy Ritchie.

I seriously said to myself, "Him too?! What's with all the steroids? Wow, he's really skinny for somebody on steroids." Then I read it and was like, "Oh. Durr. I am so smart, S-M-R-T."

Also, I totally heard about the shoplifting dog, and I could've sworn it was here....

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 9, 2009 1:24 PM

I don't usually look at baby pictures, but Inara Grace is a little cutie.
That said, I wouldn't want to be the one changing her nappie after she's had prunes....

That crashing sound you hear is Chris Brown's career hitting the rocks - after he hit Rihanna. Allegedly.
Poetic justice, really!

Posted by: Tarn at February 9, 2009 1:26 PM

P.S. That guy is still a practicing attorney? Wow.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 9, 2009 1:27 PM

You know, I just saw part of an episode of "Dragnet" on Saturday night where this guy had a little pack of purse snatching dogs. See, since there were five of them the cops couldn't ever get a positive ID! Boy were they frustrated.

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2009 1:28 PM

Actually that "jewelry" looks like the rear end of an un-neutered dog. Maybe PetCo will start carrying it too.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 9, 2009 1:28 PM

Jeez, I wish people would understand how child support works. Every state has a formula. You plug in the figures, salary, assets, other children, time spent with each parent, etc., and it spits out a number. If the noncustodial parent *wants* to pay more, the parent can, but they can't be forced to pay more than the state formula says.

Sure, she's rich, but so is he. And he has an obligation to provide for his child, same as she does.

(grumble, grumble, yes, this touched a nerve with the divorced mother who's ex decided she didn't *need* child support and just quit paying...not his fucking decision.)

Posted by: Wednesday at February 9, 2009 1:34 PM

Jay: And they say the quality of television has deteriorated. In actuality, it was always this shitty.

Posted by: stipe42 at February 9, 2009 1:36 PM

Jay, while not entirely obscure, I'm not sure telling Stacey that she played Solitaire in Live or Let Die would really help.

Posted by: branded at February 9, 2009 1:39 PM

Jeremy's song warmed my cockle.

rikkitikki, I am so with you buddy. We could abolish 50% of the stupid within one generation.

Sure, she's rich, but so is he. And he has an obligation to provide for his child, same as she does.

I am not trying to start shit, but is scary going to be buying the baby a new Mercedes every month?

Posted by: admin at February 9, 2009 1:43 PM

And of course by "she," I mean Jane Seymour if you don't like unclear antecedents. Suck it, grammar!

Posted by: branded at February 9, 2009 1:44 PM

Not to condone domestic abuse or nuthin' . . . but I've been wanting to do that since "Umbrella" first came out.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 9, 2009 1:45 PM

Admin, For those who are that wealthy, there isn't a practical child support formula. Yes, mother makes millions. So... should hubby pay 100 bucks a month? Does that seem fair, when he's ALSO a millionaire? The issue isn't necessarily the amount, it's the obligation. You're a parent, you should contribute.

The only way for the formula to work is if it's applied consistently, regardless of income strata.

Posted by: I Love Beets at February 9, 2009 1:47 PM

Am I the only one that really doesn't give a rip about Bale's "tirade"? I've heard worse from no name actors on throw away F-list horror film sets. It's just something actors do. They get all into a scene, someone screws it up, they go postal. It's how it works.

And really, I can kind of understand it. You work really hard to create something then someone screws it up and there's no way to recover it. Yeah, he goes on way to long and gets way to mellow dramatic about it but he's an actor. That's what they do. Damn... why we so obsessed with this?

Posted by: the other kafka at February 9, 2009 1:50 PM

"...$51,000 a month child support..."

WHATWHATWHAT?! How the hell was this determined? I don't make that much a goddam year! What's she doing - fucking bottle feeding Dom-soaked caviar to the little bundle of responsibility?

Are you there, God? It's me, Skittimus. Please give me a gigundo rack, the ability to give birth, a fistful of roofies and the directions to Mr. Murphy's house. I'm gonna get knocked up, and be rolling in the dough before you can say "Why, yes, crazy Octuplowhore, I did FedEx me & Axel Foley's mocha baby to you - I got paid, you see, and I figured you could use another - only three more to give Duggar McChasmtwat a run for her battered uteri!".

Posted by: Skitz at February 9, 2009 1:52 PM

It's the principle of the thing, branded. Besides, maybe Stacey's seen "Live and Let Die" and that's what would crack open that buried memory and "Oh YEAH! Jane Seymour!"

If I really wanted to be obscure I'd say that The Cure recorded "Wish" at her manor house in Oxfordshire (known as The Manor).

I always have to take a moment to remember that Nicholas Meyer didn't direct "Somewhere In Time" but rather "Time After Time". Big difference.

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2009 1:56 PM

And now Eddie Murphy will have to take every crappy role that comes his way...

Posted by: anikitty at February 9, 2009 2:01 PM

I appreciate your point Beets and to a certain extent I agree with you. But it's $612,000 per year in CHILD SUPPORT. Maybe I'm old school and can't even conceive of that much money but there is no way you should be spending that amount of money on a kid. Trips to the French Riviera should not be counted as child care expenses.

By the time this kid is 18 he'll have racked in over 11 million (if it is all put away for him). Fuck!

Posted by: admin at February 9, 2009 2:10 PM

Wednesday - nope, that is definitely not his (your ex's) decision. Assuming he's not self-employed, the state should be able to deduct his child support directly from his paycheck and get that money to you. So sorry you have to go through this.

As for the Eddie Murphy-Scary Spice child support thing, he could have saved himself a lot of grief by not publicly saying that he didn't think the kid was his. But regardless, this kid has the same rights as his other kids to an equally lavish upbringing. Even if it boggles our brains. Oh, and when the amount of child support was being figured out, they (the court) did factor in how much money Scary has, clearly Eddie has even more. Next time he should keep his dick in his pants or learn how to work a condom.

Posted by: tamatha at February 9, 2009 2:10 PM

If I really wanted to be obscure I'd say that The Cure recorded "Wish" at her manor house in Oxfordshire (known as The Manor).

And here I thought that it was "Wild Mood Swings."

Posted by: branded at February 9, 2009 2:20 PM

Jesus, Nosek, put down the boxed wine and pull yourself together.

Posted by: TK at February 9, 2009 1:10 PM

----------------------------------------------

I agree with this asshole here. The drama that is your life and your raging alcoholism are bringing down this already questionable site, Nosek.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 9, 2009 2:27 PM

And here I thought that it was "Wild Mood Swings."

Right you are, right you are. Branson owns The Manor, Seymour owns St. Catherine's Court.

So, unfortunately, I'm gonna have to blame The Cure's decline right on her.

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2009 2:31 PM

the divorced mother who's ex decided she didn't *need* child support and just quit paying

tamatha is correct, hopefully the state should garnish his pay.

A friend of mine who has a 14 year old daughter and works at a grocery store (she's not very highly skilled or very smart in many respects) has always had issues with the kid's father not paying when he didn't feel like it. Finally his pay started being garnished; after a couple of years, though, he decided to quit working altogether. And he wonders why his child doesn't want to talk to him... Of course, he's also a crackhead, so he's another one who's not real smart.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 9, 2009 2:43 PM

"If the noncustodial parent *wants* to pay more, the parent can, but they can't be forced to pay more than the state formula says."

They sure can in New York, where I practice. The formula only goes up to $85K (sorry about the "only" for those of you who make less than that, but I deal witwh some seriously rich people), but courts here can impose all kinds of obligations on parents beyond that. What I'd like to know is if Eddie's paying $51K in cash for child support or if his obligations are $51K a month (i.e. he covers tuition, camp, etc.). The policy is that you can't just go around screwing who you want, getting them pregnant, and then walking away with minimal (or no) child support payments.

That being said, Eddie *did* contest paternity and *did* make a huge scene out of this. He could easily have settled for far less than that per month.

Wednesday, take your ex to Family Court. I don't know where you live, but you seriously don't even need a lawyer to garnish his wages - back support, as well. In New York, child support arrears never go away, even if the court reduces the amount he owes you for future payments. There is absolutely no reason you should be going without child support.

Posted by: samantha t at February 9, 2009 2:52 PM

And, how could I forget - the final, last-ditch, this-parent-is-truly-a-deadbeat remedy for failure to pay child support is JAIL in New York.

Posted by: samantha t at February 9, 2009 2:54 PM

I seriously doubt Eddie could have settled for anything less with that SKANK, bitch was looking for a meal ticket and she hit the jackpot with her little bastard.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 9, 2009 2:58 PM

Octomom scares me. Who the hell implanted those embryos? Strip him or her of their medical license NOW. And how the hell did she afford multiple rounds of IVF (her other six were conceived that way, too, in two other pregnancies, I believe) if she was living ON DISABILITY? Her disability averages out to about $24,000 a year. Sorry, but that kinda dust in your wallet don't pay for the implantation magic.

I will boycott FOREVER anyone who gives her a book and/or media deal. Today claims they didn't pay her for the interview. I hope they didn't.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 3:00 PM

Though people complain that it's our environmental duty to stop at two kids, I can't help thinking that as long as the number of people having more than 4 kids (never mind having more than 5 kids) is so low this is really a drop in the ocean and people should get off their backs.
I especially hate the argument that people might be having so many children, not because they love them, but because they want status symbols, or money a) children are the opposite of status symbols (in the west) b) no amount of publicity will bring as much money as just not having the children. That being said whenever I read a book set in Victorian times, I do think the use of (safe, reliable) contraceptives would have revolutionised poverty (especially after public health took off). Moral: lack of family planning bad, choosing huge families good.

Posted by: ChrisD at February 9, 2009 3:02 PM

Wait, wasn't that an episode of Garfield and Friends? Odie gets suckered in to a ring a purse snatching dogs and brings down the whole scam? Another fine, upstanding youth brought down by watching cartoons. Don't mind me, I'll be over here humming the Garfield theme song now................Get ready to party, get ready..........I hope you bring lots of spaghetti.............

Posted by: slower lower at February 9, 2009 3:05 PM

Two things everybody hates:

Deadbeat Dads and cover bands

Posted by: Estelle at February 9, 2009 3:05 PM

ChrisD I'd like to see this: more social acceptance for people who don't want kids at all. Too many people, especially if they are in a long-term relationship, are pressured constantly to have kids. Leave 'em alone.

There should also be more acceptance and encouragement for one child, and I do think that's improving.

It's not JUST big families, period, that I have a problem with. It's things like being paid to undergo IVF with eight babies and looking for a media/book deal as a result. It's a woman being treated, because of their "religion," like she's worthless unless she's pushing out baby after baby, year after year until she hits menopause or dies, whichever comes first.

Moderation is good. Have a big family if you want it. But why the need to break records and whore out your big family for the cameras and money? That's just gross.

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 3:11 PM

I did find a cover band video too good and weird to pass up that'll accompany my regular daily Facebook song later.

I quite like special event tributes though, like the Atlanta supergroup that performed "Exile on Main Street" on a tiny stage (with a shit ton of people squeezed in) a few years ago, or when Of Montreal did the all-60s and then all-70s cover shows.

I don't know if I ever want to go see the Hot August Knights (with lead singer Soolaimon), but I have to admit I kinda like that such craziness exists.

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2009 3:13 PM

Trust Joel McHale to make a funnier joke than everyone else. The man is a god. I'm now going to go back to scribbling Mrs.McHale in my diary. YES I KNOW HE'S MARRIED, SO SHUT UP!!

Posted by: Joker at February 9, 2009 3:30 PM

Two things everybody hates:

Deadbeat Dads and cover bands

And now it's time to create a cover band named The Deadbeat Dads. First song on the set will be "Child Support" by Ice Cube. Open auditions. No day care provided.

Posted by: branded at February 9, 2009 3:35 PM

How is DamnitJanet's grandchild?

Posted by: Nadine at February 9, 2009 3:54 PM

Having a big family, especially in an industrialized country such as ours, is one of the biggest signs of a whacked out sense of entitlement that I can think of. It pisses me off.

Posted by: tamatha at February 9, 2009 3:56 PM

more social acceptance for people who don't want kids at all. Too many people, especially if they are in a long-term relationship, are pressured constantly to have kids.

Amen, sister! Thanks for having my back on that one, Anastasia Beaverhausen my dear. And while we're at it, can all the old ladies stop giving me that whole "tsk tsk" pity look please? I am quite happy and most assuredly not to be pitied, thank you. Or the look of horror, like "What do you *mean* you don't want children? What's wrong with you?" Nothing. There is nothing wrong with me. I don't secretly eat children after luring them into my delicious candy home. I like children just fine. I was at my niece's 5th birthday party this week with four children aged 5 and under hanging on me all day, and I enjoyed it. And then I enjoyed going to my quiet home with no children of my own. In conclusion, to quote AB: Leave me alone.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 9, 2009 4:31 PM

tamatha Can I marry you?

AVB No problemo, darling. I've gotten sick of seeing people having babies because they feel they're supposed to. It sometimes turns out well, but often doesn't.

When my only was SIX MONTHS OLD, we started getting the questions about when we were going to, and I quote "give her a little brother or sister." Like by not squeezing out another kid, I was depriving my poor poor child!!! GMAFB. We didn't intend on having another. But the pressure, good GOD. It's like if you've had one, you CAN'T STOP THERE. Misery loves company so it was mostly people with three or more kids who would regard us really suspiciously. I was even told by one COWORKER to "get on the ball."

That lasted until she was seven. Seven years of it. By that age, I guess most people figure you're not going to go through all the diapers and sleep deprivation and drool and illness and shots and sore nipples and childcare and all that fun stuff again, so they lay off. Every now and then I'll still get a little cocked head and questioning look from an older woman who says, timidly, sing-songedly "so, you just have.....the one?"

"Yes," I say, "and she's fourteen, which means we're looking into selling her on ebay, would you be interested?"

That usually ends any of their little suggestions that we have two kids spaced more than a dozen years apart. Oh fuck me, I'd kill myself.

Kids are HARD. They're expensive, they're a time suck, and they're HARD. Dogs don't live as long as you have to spend actively raising a kid.*

*Yes, I love her. Like crazy. No I'm not selling her on ebay. Not right now. She's one of the most awesomest parts of my life, so I'll keep her for a while longer. Then I'll loose her onto the world and say "GOOD LUCK WORLD, HERE SHE COMES, HOPE I DID OK!"

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at February 9, 2009 5:53 PM

Amen to both of the A-Beavs! I like kids just fine, but am so sick of the pressure to have them. I sometimes wonder if it's quite normal to have absolutely no desire to become a mommy, but...well...I don't. I love my quiet, peaceful little existence with my husband and our critters.

Posted by: meaux at February 9, 2009 6:43 PM

Don't worry, y'all, I opened a case with Child Support Enforcement just as quick as I realized support had dropped off his priority list. It's in the works. It just takes FOREVER to get the state to do what they're supposed to do.

Posted by: Wednesday at February 9, 2009 7:13 PM

I'm surprised no one has noticed that Nadya Suleman is on a mission to become Angelina Jolie. Seriously, look at her. Or, more to the point, just try to look AWAY from the Lisa Rinna disaster of a pie-hole she's had injected onto her face. Add to that the Morticia Addams hair, and the ovaries that just won't quit ... lady is about to go Single White Female on E!'s favorite Holy Mother.

Posted by: cerain at February 9, 2009 7:25 PM

Oh, cerain, pay a visit to http://www.dlisted.com He's all over that shit.

Posted by: Jay at February 9, 2009 7:36 PM

Can I hear another AMEN to A-Beavs? I'm forty and childless by choice, but man, I love my job as an early childhood educator. It's the intrinsic rewards, such as "I'm so glad you're here today" hugs, the "this is for you" artwork and helping a child be a good friend and find acceptance that bring joy into my day, let me tell ya; but what also makes me happy is lots of "me-time" for hikes with the dogs, Christmas romps in Cuba, and drinking tall gin and tonics with the neighbours into the wee morning hours. I love preschoolers, I just don't want my own, and those feelings are perfectly, normally acceptable (DO YOU HEAR THAT, MOTHER?).

Kidding about the "mother part". Honest!

Posted by: kootenay girl at February 9, 2009 8:27 PM

DO YOU HEAR THAT, MOTHER?

*heehee* Sing it, sister!

Posted by: meaux at February 9, 2009 8:40 PM

The Jane Seymour thing reminds me of those horrible Tous bears. Have you seen them? Everyone has them over here, and they're supposed to be all fashionable, but to me all the look like is bear heads with GINORMOUS breasts. Which is just all kinds of disturbing.

Posted by: figgy at February 9, 2009 9:22 PM

Jane Seymour is kinda funny looking, isn't she? And I don't mean funny "ha-ha" I mean funny peculiar. Jer eyes are too far from her mouth, or something. She looks like the doctor yanked a bit too hard on her cranium with the foreceps and stretched her face up.

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 9, 2009 10:15 PM

What disturbed me about the shoplifting dog was Akira is a common Japanese male name - hence the anime movie Akira - and these people dared to name their bitch that. Our company's executive's name is Akira. I mean, talk about double offense.Get it right people.

Hey, when I named my cat Jenny, at least I knew it was a "she" name.

Posted by: yocean at February 9, 2009 11:54 PM

OctoMom: Single-uterusly keeping California 50.00000001% Caucasian since 2000.

Wait ... is Suleman a Hispanic name? All I know is it's a Neil Diamond song.

Posted by: bucdaddy at February 10, 2009 11:15 AM

"Yes," I say, "and she's fourteen, which means we're looking into selling her on ebay, would you be interested?"

Ahahahahahah!

... does she do dishes?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at February 11, 2009 9:52 AM


















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