Pajiba Love 02/08/10

Your Move, Sharks. Your Move.

By Jeremy Feist | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (21)

Yeah, remember that footage from Piranha 3D that got cut from Comic-Con? Ummmm, yeah … After actually watching the footage, I have concluded that there is a very good reason for it. Piranhas are the new sharks. (Screen Junkies)

Haha, Heidi and Spencer got divorced! Maybe. Is it possible to get divorced if you were only ever fake married? Either way, I think we should all come together and try to marry off Spencer Pratt to a wood-chipper now. (popbytes)

Thanks to TK, here are 14 cases of notable actors being cut from movies. Although the definiton of “notable” is a tad loose here. Really? James Van Der Beek? Come on. (A.V. Club)

Someone decided to let the Shamwow guy direct his own movie, and the results are exactly what you would expect from a guy who had his tongue bitten off by a prostitute. (Evil Beet)

Hide your coke and break out the Cookiepuss cakes, ‘cause Lindsay Lohan is out of jail! Man, those 90 days just flew by, didn’t they? I guess serving full prison sentences is for poor, ugly people. (Celebitchy)

Dear Paris Hilton: I know you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re talented, but if you try to ruin Kylie Minogue for me I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU. (Celebslam)

Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa got married to that smarmy ass British guy? Well, judging by the date on the invite, Lisa would have gotten married yesterday, if she had actually aged in fifteen years. How you like them apples? (Warming Glow)

I have this thing for Urban Legends, in that I am completely obsessed with them to the point where I couldn’t stand in front of a mirror for 10 years because of Bloody Mary, so this legend of a cursed Pokemon hack is like my doomed bread and evil butter. (Unreality)

I’m not sure if these are available in Toronto yet, but God help anyone who gets in between me and these Reese’s Cup Chips Ahoy! cookies. (The Impulsive Buy)

And while we’re on the subject of food, pesto is God sauce, and anyone who doesn’t love Ranylt’s recipe is weird. (Godtopus Eats)

Here are the most devastating nut-punches in gaming history. Holy shit, that last one will make anyone with a scrotum wince in agony for about thirty straight minutes. (Gamesradar)

Goddammit science, NO. I didn’t say anything when you said that Pluto wasn’t a planet, but now you’re telling me the triceratops wasn’t real either? Why do you hate me science?! (Gizmodo)

Know what’s a great way to raise breast cancer awareness and advocate monthly breast examinations? Having Alyson Hannigan feel up Emily Deschanel’s boobs, then tear her shirt off. You’re welcome.

THE BOOBY SCARE Featuring Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel, Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King - watch more funny videos

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his BRAND NEW NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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Comments

Seeing the chick from bones act like a dumbass is refreshing.

Posted by: aroorda at August 2, 2010 12:08 PM

Triceratops were kind of bitchy anyway. Remember The Land Before Time ?

That pesto looks delectable. My mouth is watering just looking at it.

Posted by: becks at August 2, 2010 12:13 PM

I just love that Jeremy seems to love Natalie Dee as much as I do

Posted by: Kevin at August 2, 2010 12:16 PM

Man, I wish that was my recipe, Jeremy, but I'm just not that genius. That doesn't mean folks still shouldn't make it TONIGHT, of course.

PS glad the move between cities didn't keep you off Pajiba Love duties. Hope you're enjoying the new playground!

Posted by: Ranylt at August 2, 2010 12:19 PM

mmmmmmmmmmmmm doomed bread and evil butter

Posted by: mswas at August 2, 2010 12:46 PM

I thought the Shamwow guy was dead.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverdouche at August 2, 2010 1:26 PM

So I haven't eat lunch yet and I've fallen behind on checking Godtopus Eats lately so clicking on that link right now made me almost devour my laptop. You guys are amazing and I need to start making some of those recipes ASAP (especially that pesto one, it looks delicious).

Posted by: Even Stevens at August 2, 2010 1:32 PM

Considering no one's ever heard of a torosaurus, why isn't that the one that gets eliminated? That would just mean that the triceratops was even bigger and badder than we thought, which is an idea I think we can all get behind.

Posted by: Todd at August 2, 2010 2:28 PM

Pesto is God sauce, and you just earned your God credit for the day by mentioning that. I had Ranylt's dish as made by a tiny little cliff side restaurant in the Cinque Terre (the middle town) and couldn't believe I had never heard of or seen such a thing before. Simple, yet inspired.

Posted by: katy at August 2, 2010 3:02 PM

"James Van Der Beek shot scenes in which he played a gay football player, including an explicit sex scene, but he doesn’t appear in the movie at all."

That is just sad. It could have been Varsity Blues meets "Dawson's Creek."

Posted by: DeistBrawler at August 2, 2010 3:02 PM

I don't know why they say triceratops "never existed" because they were really young torosauruses. That's like stating because caterpillars are young butterflies, caterpillars don't really exist.

Posted by: Pat C at August 2, 2010 4:55 PM

Todd Oooh! I know this one! The rule is, if you found it first, you name it. This sort of thing happens a lot with dinosaurs - same thing happened to the brontosaurus, which is now known as the apatosaurus.

And I agree, this just means the triceratops is about a million times more bad-arse.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at August 2, 2010 6:25 PM

Er, I mean, the Torosaurus is about a million times more bad-arse. How insanely powerful do you have to be for people to think your kid is a whole different species?!

Posted by: Sciencegeek at August 2, 2010 6:28 PM

I don't know if I buy the whole Toro/Triceratops theory, but the comments in that thread are hilarious!

Posted by: Chickaboom at August 2, 2010 6:33 PM

"James Van Der Beek shot scenes in which he played a gay football player, including an explicit sex scene, but he doesn’t appear in the movie at all."

That is just sad. It could have been Varsity Blues meets "Dawson's Creek."

Posted by: DeistBrawler at August 2, 2010 3:02 PM

Countdown to "Dawson's Crack" remarks in three...two...

Posted by: spazmodeas at August 3, 2010 1:01 AM

"Touch a tit, save a tit."

Now there's a slogan I can really embrace. (That video made me tingly in my fappy place.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 3, 2010 5:52 AM

I don't think Lindsay Lohan getting out of jail early has anything to do with her being famous. I don't care for her at all, but she's obviously going to get credit for good behavior as she is isolated from everyone with no real chance to get in trouble. It bugs me when people insinuate that a celebrity serving half of their sentence has anything to do with anything other than the way most court systems work.

Posted by: Gore Motel at August 3, 2010 5:07 PM

"Touch a tit, save a tit."

Now there's a slogan I can really embrace. (That video made me tingly in my fappy place.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep
--------------------------------

Word.

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Posted by: cuttiebabe123 at August 4, 2010 8:04 AM

I literally just laughed my ass off about the woodchipper bit.

BRAVO PAJIBA!!

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Your Move, Sharks. Your Move.

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