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Pajiba Love 02/04/10 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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La Lohan Wants You To Feel Her Pain

Pajiba Love / Agent Bedhead

Pajiba Love | February 4, 2010 | Comments (28)

Lindsay Lohan will reveal herself as a “secret celebrity hoarder” in a televised interview today. Naturally, this is a clinically semi-justifiable excuse for stealing shit. (Yeeeah!)

Lady Gaga has a new tattoo, although I can’t tell you what part of her body this photo appears to feature. (Litely Salted)

Jason Segal kissed a dude, and, based upon the reputation of this other fellow, he’s probably got a lovely case of the herp brewing. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

Christian Bale and Javier Bardem… on the same movie screen? Yes, please. (Cinematical)

Amanda Seyfried thinks jeans are, like, really sexy. Better keep your mouth shut on that film promotional trail, sweetie. (Screen Junkies)

Morgan Freeman and Sandra Bullock attempt to put the smackdown on Avatar as the future of cinema. (Rope of Silicon)

Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones intend to open “The Snatch Bar.” Of course, it won’t be a meat market at all. (Film Drunk)

Michael Bay Dimunitive Boner Alert: Megan Fox’s 3D slo-mo boobies coming at ya in Transformers 3. (IGN)

AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson vs. Bono. I’ve got no words for this. (Celebitchy)

25 Drunks Passed Out on Benches. Makes one appreciate life, eh? (Holy Taco)

Chlöe Sevigny and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s asses are both worth $60,000 in the front row. (Fashionista)

Get your bunks ready, for you may find yourself considering the hand-job possibilities presented by this “Awesome Hand Ninja” performance. You’re welcome. (YouTube)

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at agentbedhead.com.


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Comments

I totally want an afternoon diversion. How about "If you had to Filibuster, what would you do/read/say/talk about?"

Do: Wear a diaper and slippers with gellin' inserts
Say: My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my health care policy, prepare to filibuster. Let's get ready to ruuuuummmmmbbble!
Read aloud: Anna Karenina (might actually finish this time), Anne Rice erotic (might end the debate VERY fast), Ulysses (maybe it's better aloud?), the Odyssey (cause that's just a good yarn) and all of Tolkien (for the fanboys who like hot women Senators).

Posted by: Bananapanda at February 4, 2010 1:48 PM

1) I think I now love Bananapanda (sorry, jM).
2)Jason Segel clip was muy nasty. I have the feeling he now knows what it is like to temporarily be part of the Human Centipede.

Posted by: welldressed at February 4, 2010 2:08 PM

Lohan hoards celebrities? Where does she keep them?

Oh, wait, I forgot. Her vagooter seats 12.

Posted by: , at February 4, 2010 2:10 PM

Oh, Bananapanda. I'd fill your buster any day.

[glares at welldressed]

Posted by: jM at February 4, 2010 2:17 PM

Just a decade ago, Lohan was a cute little Disney kid. Just a few years back, she was on the verge of being a big star.

It only reinforces the truth that cocaine is a hell of a drug. Rick James was right.

Oh and...Team AC/DC!

Posted by: Fredo at February 4, 2010 2:18 PM

I kept looking at that horrid header picture and I couldn't figure out why. Finally, I realized: I have a picture of one of my best friends making that same exact face! Only you can also see his hands flailing about in that picture.

I would post it to share the creepy similarities, but he won't even let me post it on facebook, so I'm sure he wouldn't go for this.

Also, Rachel McAdams > Bale AND Bardem.

Posted by: Gabs at February 4, 2010 2:21 PM

I love the header picture. It's like Lindsay Lohan dressed up as a zombie airline pilot, or just doing her best Martin Landau impression.

Posted by: the new transported man at February 4, 2010 2:21 PM

Oh, Sandra, you're so adorable. Did you know that the little white dots are actually a cure for actressin'? I fucking love Bridges. It's like he's The Dude in real life.

Posted by: admin at February 4, 2010 2:32 PM

What header picture? All I see is a dot where the header picture would be. I figured Bedhead put up a Lolcats photo and DR had it nuked.

Posted by: , at February 4, 2010 2:32 PM

This is where my mind is today:

Javier Bardem, Christian Bale, Rachel McAdams and Olga Kurylenko? Oh Sweet jeebus, I need dry panties!

Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham? Yes please, just point me in the right direction.

Posted by: Eyvi at February 4, 2010 2:34 PM

I'm betting the Asian Chick Hand Ninja can give one hell of a hand-job. As Bedhead suggested. Who agrees?

Come on...someone's got to agree. Even the ladies, think about it, that hand worming away in your pants?

Come on...

You're a bunch of assholes.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at February 4, 2010 2:38 PM

Okay, what is the signature drink of "The Snatch Bar?"
Ideas:
Sex on the Beach
Blowjob
Screaming Orgasm
Slow Comfortable Screw
Blue Balls
Sex on my Face (personal favorite)
Irish Car Bomb (ironic for a British bar)

Posted by: Kballs at February 4, 2010 2:48 PM

Are you guys just effing with me? I have no header picture. Just a little blank square.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at February 4, 2010 2:54 PM

She looks like a pastier version of Lurch.

Posted by: admin at February 4, 2010 3:01 PM

Talk about a kung fu grip!!!

Posted by: The Monkey Man at February 4, 2010 3:49 PM

I can sum up that Lohan interview in one loud sentence:

I'M LINDSAY LOHAN, GIVE ME ATTENTION!

Posted by: stardust at February 4, 2010 3:57 PM

But... I thought ninjas were stealthy and not to be seen. I can totally see that. I wish I hadn't, but I did.

And dude, the one hot chick passed out naked on the table? I hope someone was trying to show her some tough love by letting her find herself like that when she wakes up, because otherwise that looks like a crime scene photo.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at February 4, 2010 4:27 PM

I'd like to have Lindsay Lohan share my pain.

I think a steel expandable police baton to her kneecaps will do quite nicely as fair exchange for having to look at that picture.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 4, 2010 4:28 PM

Would a ninja hand job be like sex with Wonder Woman in her invisible plane? Or sex with the Invisible Man (if you swing that way)?

Posted by: Bananapanda at February 4, 2010 4:54 PM

Is it just me, or is she channeling Bill Hader in that photo?

Posted by: Puffs253 at February 4, 2010 5:14 PM

I think it would be fun to be Lindsay Lohan, just for a day ya know. I mean think about it...tons of money, all the coke you could possibly want, people giving you free shit all day long, designers throwing expensive clothes at you, no real world responsibilities and pretty much no consequences for doing illegal things. And I'm pretty sure she's always drunk. How awesome would that be, just for like a day or a week or something?

Well you know, minus all the Herp, and the Hep and all that.

Posted by: ashes at February 4, 2010 5:28 PM

From one of our local radio Dj's:

"I buy Tylenol with the old person caps because I can't work the child-proof ones. Except the cap came off and now I've got a bunch of pills, tampons and lip gloss all over the bottom of my purse. Kind of like Lindsay Lohans stomach."

Posted by: admin at February 4, 2010 8:07 PM

Anyone who has that much dexterity with their pinky fingers is a freak of nature.
Yes, a FREAK I say!
Good. Day.


P.S. I heart Jason Segel like whoa. Even with the Brand herps.

Posted by: gee. ay. at February 4, 2010 8:12 PM

Okay, I know I ain't been around too much lately, so I don't know if this has passed teh rounds or not. But 0mygodholeyshitreally?

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2010/02/wow-this-was-a-real-movie

Posted by: Denny Crane at February 4, 2010 8:14 PM

WHAT PHOTO, GODTOPUSDAMMIT?

Posted by: , at February 5, 2010 12:48 AM

I can't see the Loghan photo either. But that's probably a blessing. It's so sad to watch her decline.

Damn, the comments on the passed-out drunks article are just nasty! And not in the good way.

Posted by: tarn at February 5, 2010 7:07 AM

Shit - Lohan not Loghan.

That's what I get for typing whilst eating soup.
(Mmmm...... goulash soup....)

Posted by: tarn at February 5, 2010 7:08 AM

Interested in a discrete and mutually beneficial relationship? http://AgelessOnly.com gives you a chance to make your life better.

Posted by: Patty at February 6, 2010 11:36 AM





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