Pajiba Love 02/01/10

Avatar in Eighteen Minutes

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (44)

Remember the guy that did the 70-minute Episode One review that you probably saw somewhere around the internet if not here? Well now he’s done Avatar. Clearly Avatar doesn’t inspire 70 full minutes of bile though. (Film Drunk)

Oh man. Rip Torn, who played IMO one of the most brilliant television characters ever on “The Larry Sanders Show” was arrested in Connecticut this weekend. For breaking into a bank with a loaded gun. (Celebslam)

I don’t care if there’s no official “Outstandingly Bullshit Internet Gossip Rumor of the Year” award — I’m still declaring this the unofficial winner. (Agent Bedhead)

Because Hollywood never stops being stupid and redundant, the big screen adaptation of What to Expect When You’re Expecting has inspired a guide book movie trend. (Cinematical)

J.D. Salinger’s corpse has barely cooled and his life is already being put in docu-form. (The Playlist)

I’m not usually very forgiving on Lady Gaga because I think her music is generic and overproduced (sorry!) and her antics annoy me, but goddamn if I didn’t love her outfit last night. (Litelysalted)

In Japanese television commercials, cats can be businessmen too. Sky’s the limit, really. (Warming Glow)

I’ve never doubted that the internet is a magical place, but this still reconfirms my position. Thanks to ashes for sending this in! (Kermit Bale)

Pop quiz: Mariah Carey’s new embarrassingly stupid new music video or Target commercial? You be the judge. (Yeeeah!)

Dear sweet Jesus: The multi-talented Jeremy shows us how to make homemade Choco Tacos. Oh, and don’t ask how a recipe website can be this EXTREMELY NSFW — just trust that it is. (Pornstar in the Kitchen)

Kristen Bell is now engaged to Dax Shepard, bringing a ray of hope to gawky, bug-eyed weirdos everywhere. (Celebitchy)

I apologize in advance for this link, you can blame the guy over at IBBB for this one. Seriously though, I expect to see revised facebook profile pictures pronto. (Jerzify Yourself)

On that downside, that gay dating website “Mancrunch.com” had their Superbowl ad rejected by CBS, but on the upside it was really lame and low-budget anyway and scored them tons of free publicity. (DListed)

Thanks to Tamatha for this video, in which a guy is rejected by the American Mustache Institute for having a beard. When I started to watch it I thought to myself, “He’d look much hotter if he nixed both,” but … Um. Yeah.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

That header pic looks like a still from "Pandora Idol".

Posted by: TylerDFC at February 1, 2010 1:14 PM

Lady Gag looks like she was attacked by two 12-year-olds with cans of Silly String.

Posted by: , at February 1, 2010 1:38 PM

Holy shlamoly, the only thing that KTF/Bale comparison is missing is Kermit as a pollywog and Bale as a sperm.

Posted by: , at February 1, 2010 1:42 PM

I totally Jerzified myself. PB wants to break up with me. It'll be on Facebook later. :)

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at February 1, 2010 1:48 PM

Umm, I would just like to ask where, exactly, these "rumors" of Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite are? Because I never heard that until I saw this item; and, due to her proclivity for wearing no pants and leotards that fit like dental floss, I think we'd know for sure.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at February 1, 2010 1:51 PM

That Kermit Bale link is one of the best things EVER.

Posted by: Julie at February 1, 2010 1:51 PM

My comment is that the ads on this site are becoming way too obnoxious to make me want to surf here anymore.

Come on. Every time I click a link I get a "Break Media" ad. Every fucking time. Are you kidding me?

Most websites give you an ad every so often. You are overdoing it to the point where I don't even want to look here anymore.

Please, fix this before we all abandon your site.

-Mark

Posted by: Bluesilver at February 1, 2010 1:52 PM

Post it Whorish! True Story: the BF thought the one Jersey Shore cast member was cute from far away. It was almost enough for me to dump him.

Posted by: Julie at February 1, 2010 1:52 PM

I Jerzified myself but Tracer Bullet told me that I looked like I was in blackface/orangeface. So I deleted it. I need to go back to the Jersey board and try again.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 1, 2010 1:53 PM

"The best part of waking up is acid in your cup!"

I seriously love this guy and his movie critiques, but damn if that voice he uses doesn't drive me up the wall. If it's his real voice, then my sympathies. And now I'm less interested in seeing Avatar than ever--it looks like a freakin' cartoon.

And even though I could give a crap--Jolie is bi? How have I not heard that before?

I too love that Gaga dress--it looks like she's being orbited by multiple heavenly bodies.

Posted by: DeadBessie at February 1, 2010 1:54 PM

I love that thing Gaga is holding. I want one so I can poke out the eyes of mine enemies. fie, fie!

Posted by: figgy at February 1, 2010 1:56 PM

*stab stab twirl stab*

Posted by: figgy at February 1, 2010 1:57 PM

I sort of hope that rumour is true, about Angelina and Gaga, if only because I hate both of them so fucking much that it would be great if that sort of trashy, cheap rumour was real.

Posted by: Nadine at February 1, 2010 1:59 PM

I tried to Jerzify myself but the site told me I lacked the appropriate amount of class.

Posted by: admin at February 1, 2010 2:04 PM

Admin, you need to get more classier. A thong bikini would help.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at February 1, 2010 2:06 PM

Also? Giant, deadly throwing snowflakes are totally the new clutch.

HA! Stacey, you kill me.

Please, fix this before we all abandon your site.
-Mark
Posted by: Bluesilver at February 1, 2010 1:52 PM

I'm pretty sure I saw this EXACT comment a couple of days ago, and I'm pretty sure I responded at the time, but maybe not, so here:

Who exactly is this "we all" to whom you refer? I CERTAINLY hope you do not presume to speak for me.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at February 1, 2010 2:11 PM

admin, I've decided that your Jersey Shore nickname is "The Stabinator". "The Stabinator" needs a Jersey Shore picture. Make it so and then you'll get to go to the Grammy Awards next year and shiv some people.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 1, 2010 2:11 PM

Pinky, you need to adjust your tan on the Jerzify-er. I'm having way too much fun with this.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at February 1, 2010 2:13 PM

That video actually make me snort. Loudly.

Posted by: ZombieNurse at February 1, 2010 2:16 PM

Tan? Adjusted. Picture used? Zombie make-up. Awesome guidette picture? CHECK.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at February 1, 2010 2:23 PM

American Mustache Institute? If I sign up, can I get coupons for the rides?

Posted by: branded at February 1, 2010 2:36 PM

Please, fix this before we all abandon your site.
-Mark
Posted by: Bluesilver at February 1, 2010 1:52 PM

----------------------------------------------------

Who is 'we all'?

I will not abandon Pajiba for running ads so that they can keep on keepin' on. (The site needs some sort of income to pay for all this debauchery.)

Posted by: Jadine at February 1, 2010 2:40 PM

Why didn't Lady Gaga wash the mustard out of her hair before the awards show?

Posted by: Lubeg at February 1, 2010 2:42 PM

American Mustache Institute? If I sign up, can I get coupons for the rides?
-----------------------------
Posted by: branded at February 1, 2010 2:36 PM

Ahem! Mrs. Figgy...Ahem!

Pinky, it'll have to wait until I get home so I may choose the appropriate photo.

Posted by: admin at February 1, 2010 2:43 PM

Please, fix this before we all abandon your site.
-Mark
Posted by: Bluesilver at February 1, 2010 1:52 PM\

----------

About a million people have said this before, but:

Firefox + No Script + Ad Blocker = No adds. Ever.

If it bothers you so much, change how you browse, but don't ping the good people of Pajiba for trying to make a buck.

Oh, and also, in the immortal words of Kelly Cutrone, "If you have to cry, go outside."

Posted by: NotesOnMyBathroomMirror at February 1, 2010 2:50 PM

Has Lady Gaga come to our planet to grant wishes, or kill ninjas? (Either way, WIN.)

Posted by: bostonadrianne at February 1, 2010 3:23 PM

My comment is that the ads on this site are becoming way too obnoxious to make me want to surf here anymore.

Come on. Every time I click a link I get a "Break Media" ad. Every fucking time.

Posted by: Bluesilver

--------------------------------------------------

Firefox + Adblock Plus (which is free) = No more ads.

But yeah, that shit is annoying.

Posted by: Groundloop at February 1, 2010 3:41 PM

NOMBM. I had this page open while working, and didn't refresh it in awhile. Sorry for sort of double posting your thoughts.

Mea culpa.

Posted by: Groundloop at February 1, 2010 3:44 PM

I think her music is generic and overproduced (sorry!) and her antics annoy me

And she is incapable of a goddamn facial expression! I didn't notice it at first, like that guy at work who bugged me that I finally realized never ever laughed, and it hit me that every dumbass costume comes with a slack stare.

Oh and IE7Pro works just fine at blocking ads too, you Firefox bitches. Now go buy your iPad.

But that thing about "Eat, Sleep, Poop" is a joke, right? Don't nobody give Jack Canfield no ideas!!

Posted by: Jay at February 1, 2010 4:16 PM

A pornstar in the kitchen just doesn't sound sanitary.

Also: if it's cold enough for a hat, it's cold enough for pants.

Posted by: Mike B. at February 1, 2010 4:25 PM

nice dong, Jeremy.
seriously. call me.

Posted by: mex at February 1, 2010 4:41 PM

Sweet Christ In a Sequined Jumpsuit, Feist!
Is that a ChacoTaco or are you just happy to see me?
Or do you just reeeeaallly like Tacos?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at February 1, 2010 4:55 PM

Every time I see the name Dax Shepherd, I think of Dax Flame, the youtube star. If you know who that is, you can imagine my surprise when I heard he was marrying Kristen Bell.

Posted by: Borg at February 1, 2010 4:56 PM

So apparently Rip Torn was so fucking blitzed he thought the bank was his HOUSE. He broke in and took off his coat and boots, and when the cops were dragging him out he kept shouting WHY ARE YOU TAKING ME FROM MY HOME or something.

He of course had the gun because Rip Torn is a badass.

Posted by: chenry at February 1, 2010 4:56 PM

You are all cordially invited to my wedding. Kermit Bale and I are SO getting married.
The ceremony will be this weekend, ordained by the Swedish Chef. The reception will be played by Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

We're proud to announce that we rank higher on the attractiveness scale than Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. We do recognize, though, that it isn't much of an accomplishment (she's a 9, he's a -4 with an added penalty of -2000 for being the love child of a salamander and a bush baby).

Posted by: esme at February 1, 2010 5:05 PM

I've always thought that if there's one thing more recipes need, it's a big penis.

I wonder how many "straight" dudes were infected with the ghey after seeing that pic? 'Cause that's how it happens, you know. See a penis, go gay. It's science, people. That's what happened to Ted Haggard.

Posted by: Slash at February 1, 2010 5:05 PM

Kristen Bell is now engaged to Dax Shepard

There is nothing to live for.

Posted by: TSF at February 1, 2010 5:12 PM

"Kristen Bell is now engaged to Dax Shepard"

-Won't SHE be surprised when she finds out Dax used to be a woman.

*SOB Dear God I've said too much....

Posted by: bleujayone at February 1, 2010 5:24 PM

Oh, I dunno, Mike B.--I kinda liked it!

Posted by: meaux at February 1, 2010 5:35 PM

Don't lose the adds. They're the best part about this site.

BAM!

Posted by: superasente at February 1, 2010 6:53 PM

haha - yes meaux! I look forward to more...recipes.

Posted by: replica at February 1, 2010 8:17 PM

So the idea is that we all run flash and ad block and the site still doesn't make money?

I run flashblock, but that is just because I am on a mac and get sick of flash ads slowing my computer to a crawl or crashing my browser.

When possible I don’t like to block ads because I want the sites that I visit for free to make some sort of revenue so that can continue running.

However, the current setup of break ads every time a page is refreshed or a new page is visited is fucking ridiculous.

I’ll keep coming here, but I’ll do so less, and down the road I’ll look back sadly at how sparse the comment section has become because people got sick of having to sit threw a stupid timed ad just to place a comment and/or refresh to look for a response.

Posted by: lwoodpdowd at February 2, 2010 2:19 AM

I never see an invasive ad on this site, ever. Period. End of story. I am not that special. Others can emulate my success in avoiding ads.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at February 2, 2010 2:38 AM

Depending on whether I'm reading at home or at work, I get some, many, few, zero, none or less ads.
Even when I do get them and they crash my work computer, I don't let it stop me visiting and commenting here.
Maybe I love this site more than the whiners.
Maybe I have a higher tolerance or stronger constitution.
Maybe I love to hear other people who I respect sharing their opinions.
Maybe I just love the sessy.
If you don't like it, you don't have to come here!

Posted by: frank_247 at February 2, 2010 4:06 AM

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Avatar in Eighteen Minutes

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