Pajiba Love 01/27/10

Avatar Gave Me the Eyeball Herpes

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (39)

GROSS. Just how sure are we that movie theater 3-D glasses are adequately cleaned before we receive them? Sure enough that I’ll probably never see a 3-D movie again without bringing my own glasses. (Film Drunk)

Here are six films starring scandalous actors. Wait, that Fatty Arbuckle dude actually raped and killed a chick? How have I never known this? (PW)

On whether or not Joseph Gordon-Levitt may appear as the star of Marc Webb’s reboot of the Spiderman franchise, we have speculation the only way we like it — unfounded! (Agent Bedhead)

Last night on “American Idol” they chose two moderately untalented singers with careers based on gimmick to judge the singing of others. Nice. (Hairballs)

Tila Tequila left a “Poochie”-style message on her twitter that she’s quitting … Um, something. We’re not really sure what it is Tila Tequila does in the first place. (Litelysalted)

You may have heard that Olympic figure skater Nancy Kerrigan’s father passed away and her brother is being implicated, so naturally crackhead figure skater Tonya Harding has released a statement about it. (Yeeeah!)

Pepto-Bismol’s new “InstaCool” product is trying to make getting diarrhea “cool” again. (Impulsive Buy)

Jane Lynch and her doctor girlfriend are getting married! Also, I feel really dumb that it never occurred to me that Jane Lynch was a lesbian before. (Celebitchy)

I know how you guys like these pieces, and although I do not watch “Lost,” here is everything Sawyer said on Season Five of “Lost” (Unlikely Words) and everything Sawyer said on Season Five of “Lost.” (Unlikely Words)

In a “Price is Right” first, some lady got so excited about the prospect of winning a new car that she literally dropped dead on stage. Or she may have actually just fainted. Sensationalism ahoy! (Warming Glow)

I have to admit, Meghan McCain is kind of growing on me — on her blog she asks why girls who are naturally endowed are considered “big” but girls who get implants aren’t? Well, obviously because most girls who get implants don’t have the type of body frame to support them naturally. (Zelda Lily)

Here’s my favorite movie poster designer Saul Bass on making money versus making quality work. (mental floss)

One of the “Jersey Shore” Guidettes has topless photos floating around. Because of course she does. (Screen Junkies)

This week the Harriet Carter catalog, naturally, asks the important question: “Why are there no cats in the bible? (IBBB)

Some famous French prankster dude pulled one over on a hapless pizza delivery man, with hilarious results:

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Comments

It's probable that Fatty Arbuckle didn't actually rape or kill anyone. There was a party and some totally sketchy chick got super drunk and disappeared into a bedroom. Later he followed her in, was there for like five seconds, and she cried rape. And then she died like, days later of complications from internal bleeding from something she already had. So you can feel better about that one.

Posted by: Jeni at January 27, 2010 1:20 PM

I think I got pink-eye just from reading about the dirty 3D glasses. Now my face is all itchy!

Posted by: ZombieNurse at January 27, 2010 1:24 PM

In a “Price is Right” first, some lady got so excited about the prospect of winning a new car that she literally dropped dead on stage. Or she may have actually just fainted.

Let's go with "spontaneous coma" due to Drew Carey's lack of charisma.

Seriously Drew, helping the woman is a good time to put the mic down.

Posted by: branded at January 27, 2010 1:24 PM

He was acquitted! Turns out, journalism in the 1920s was pretty much like journalism now, in that they had no ethical standards whatsoever, and just wanted to sell papers. Also, wasn't the chief witness some guy who made a living blackmailing hollywood people? Also, who cares? Everyone is dead.

Posted by: Marra at January 27, 2010 1:30 PM

First time I ever heard of Meghan McCain. I don't watch the news too often. She's kinda hot and well-spoken and very articulate and open-minded for a Republican.

I can see why she's hated.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 27, 2010 1:36 PM

This week the Harriet Carter catalog, naturally, asks the important question: “Why are there no cats in the bible?

Because cats are instruments of the devil. Duh.

Posted by: dene at January 27, 2010 1:39 PM

Read a novelized version of the Arbuckle case not long ago. Makes the case that he was essentially not guilty (as opposed to innocent, he was NOT AT ALL innocent) and was exonerated but blackballed from the industry anyway. Kind of like how the Black Sox were found not guilty (although they were) but banned from baseball anyway.

Posted by: , at January 27, 2010 1:41 PM

STFU, Tonya Harding. I'm not a fan of figure skating, and Kerrigan has always struck me as kind of a bitch, but she sure as hell doesn't need words of comfort from the woman who had her knee purposefully bashed in with a crowbar. Why does this moron feel compelled to chime in with a statement anyway? What kind of thought process leads to that? "Boy, Nancy is sure going through a rough time, I'll bet she wonders what the woman she hates more than anyone else on Earth thinks about this." Mind your own business.

I know next to squat about Jane Lynch, except that when I saw her character on Glee having dates with guys, it seemed totally wrong. I felt the same way when Ellen DeGeneres was shown in bed with some guy on her show years back, a sense of "these two things don't belong together." I'm more surprised at how well Lynch cleans up; she looks downright elegant in that photo.

Posted by: DeadBessie at January 27, 2010 1:53 PM

Just how sure are we that movie theater 3-D glasses are adequately cleaned before we receive them?

And THIS is why I kept the pairs I got from the 2 I saw, and will wash them and bring them along. And THIS is why the theaters should sell you a pair of the glasses SEPARATELY from the tickets, instead of charging you $3 EVERY TIME and giving you gross dirty glasses that go ON YOUR FACE where you EAT THINGS and have OPEN ORIFICES.

Huh. Apparently this makes me even crankier than I realized....

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at January 27, 2010 2:03 PM

We have these fold-able, sunglasses-looking pair of sunglasses that we got from some DVD we bought (I honestly can't remember which one now). Whenever we go to see a 3D movie, we take those along, and toss their cruddy plastic ones back in the bin as we head into the theatre.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 27, 2010 2:14 PM

Wait a ding dang minute. Re the 3D glasses.

I pay extra for a 'new' pair each time I go to the theatre. They come in a sealed
little plastic baggie. As we exit the movie, we toss the glasses into the big
cardboard bin for recycling. You know, being green consumers and all.

Is the "recycling" actually them being repurposed by 16 yr old movie house employees and a seal-a-meal!? [gasp] I think I'm gonna toss up. GAck!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at January 27, 2010 2:15 PM

Jeni's right, Arbuckle was accused of raping a woman for such glorious reasons as 'her bladder was ruptured, it must be because he was so fat' or that he'd object raped her and caused the rupture. In all likelihood, as in, based on witness accounts, she'd had a dodgy abortion not long before the party at which she died, which probably caused her death.
What actually happened was that as she died she said something to the effect of 'He did this to me'
She never said 'Arbuckle raped me', but rather an unspecified 'he' did 'this' to her but since he'd been alone with her long enough to blink, people assumed he had assaulted.
Arbuckle was acquited and it was widely held that he not only didn't rape the girl, but probably barely spent more than ten seconds. He was issued apologies by both the judges and jury of his second trial, all of whom agreed the media, journalists specifically, had basically seen fit to tear him apart because he was a rich, succesful actor, and they where all dicks.
By all accounts, Arbuckle was a gentle giant.
He was innocent of what she and the media accused him of.
He WAS blackballed out of hollywood, his films pulled, and his name because synonymous with the 'seedy' side of Hollywood, that existed even before Hollywood had sound.

I am a silent comedies DORK and get in an ire over the Arbuckle thing. I'll actually go and look at all the other links now.

Posted by: Nadine at January 27, 2010 2:32 PM

Ew. That seals it, no more 3D movies.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at January 27, 2010 2:43 PM

About the Arbuckle thing...I just did a quick internet search and read a few sites to get the story since I'd never heard about it and just from what I read, it seems like the guy was innocent.
However, I didn't see anything that had court documents or testimony or medical exams; it was all just someone telling the story. The only "testimony" I read was the letter he wrote telling the whole story.
Are there any court docs posted anywhere? Does any of that even exist now, after all this time?

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at January 27, 2010 2:47 PM

you jest about the eye herpes but my friend Mike actually has it. he has to get the tear duct in his right eye surgically unclogged every few years otherwise his eye constantly leaks tears.

Posted by: Dr. Emilio Lizardo at January 27, 2010 2:52 PM

Whorish Mouth, TruTv.com has a pretty full account of it, based on the court documents and various first person accounts.

Posted by: Nadine at January 27, 2010 2:57 PM

Thanks Nadine!

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at January 27, 2010 3:03 PM

no worries!!

Posted by: Nadine at January 27, 2010 3:09 PM

he has to get the tear duct in his right eye surgically unclogged every few years otherwise his eye constantly leaks tears.

Oh dear sweet Jesus, I'm never joking about anything ever again, just in case karma decides to give me eyeball herpes.

Posted by: Stacey at January 27, 2010 3:39 PM

Great, now I'm going to have the TMNT song stuck in my head all day. THANK YOU.

By the way, the 3-D glasses and Jersey Shore nudie pics? Every day I'm gladder and gladder I haven't seen Avatar or Jersey Shore. Is it time for the Early Bird special at Denny's yet?

Posted by: Your Mom at January 27, 2010 3:39 PM

I'm going to delurk to say I too have a friend who suffered a couple of times of eye herpes.

She use to get cold sores around her mouth, accidentally moved that shit up to her eye one day and BAM, eye herpes. We were never allowed to tell anyone lest they assume there was a splooge/eye incident.

Posted by: Danielle at January 27, 2010 4:15 PM

How did you not know about Fatty Arbuckle? I learned about that when I was in 10th grade in my high school film class. I think it was even a question on a test.

Posted by: Claire at January 27, 2010 4:16 PM

Gosh, maybe she wasn't in your high school film class.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at January 27, 2010 4:19 PM

My IMAX theater washes every pair of glasses after use, I PROMISE.

Just another 3D is horrible. It's also bad for your health.

Posted by: vikky at January 27, 2010 4:25 PM

Danielle...now that you've told us, I have to ask, was it ACTUALLY a splooge/eye incident?
COs I am assuming it is, sorry =S

Posted by: Nadine at January 27, 2010 4:35 PM

Ah, Jane Lynch rocks my socks. But wierdly Iv always thought of her as asexual-just a six foot, statuesque, hilarious, comedy goddess. Except for when she tried to seduce Steve Carrell in 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' which was awesome and vaguely erotic.

YOU CAN GET EYE HERPES NOW!!!!! I will never, ever get a date! I already check potential kissees for oral herpes, get their medical history and get their last name so my dad can run a background check on them before I let them buy me a drink, but now I have to be aware of Oral Frikking Herpes!!!!! Oh screw it, Im joining a convent.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 27, 2010 4:38 PM

There can never be too much Sawyer quotage, even for non-viewers.

Posted by: Adere at January 27, 2010 5:17 PM

As someone who has cleaned those goddamned glasses (thousands of them since Avatar came out, btw), I can attest to the sanitizing practices. At my theater, we do have a "dishwasher" to clean them, but it's an industrial-size washer and it's not used for dishes--just glasses. Disneyland has the same thing, btw.

p.s. Avatar moviegoers: please, please, please refrain from the following:
•Complaining about sold-out shows.
•Putting gum on the glasses.
•Licking the glasses. That shit is gross. (Seriously, I've seen a couple of people do this. STOP IT.)
•While we're on the topic of gross, stop peeing on the seats/in the hallway/on the floor.
•Do not wear the IMAX glasses in the digital theater, and do not wear the RealD glasses in the IMAX theater. That is why your 3-hour long movie was blurry the entire freaking time.

p.p.s. I'm sorry if I seem bitter (I am). I realize that the majority of you are not the morons that really need to hear all this, but I have to tell someone.

Posted by: Jennnnnnnnn at January 27, 2010 5:35 PM

I went to see Avatar with 2 friends and one of them got pink eye. So for $17 she got two hours of fun and then two days of burning crusties. Poor deal.

Posted by: Lauren at January 27, 2010 5:35 PM

My cat has eye herpes. A few times a year it waters and itches and gets goopy. He gets pissed when we call him Herp.

Posted by: angie at January 27, 2010 6:02 PM

"How did you not know about Fatty Arbuckle? I learned about that when I was in 10th grade in my high school film class. I think it was even a question on a test."

Charlie me too!! actually it was in my first film class in college but hey! same fucked up professors I guess!
actually the version I learned was that he did rape her but not with his probably tiny winy but with a champagne bottle which is why she had such damages that she died. don't you all wanna go to my school now?
and yeah i never looked at champagne bottle the same way ever again!
Welcome to the club!

Posted by: rio at January 27, 2010 6:22 PM

Dear Jennnnnnnnn,

Are you inside my head? Or perhaps my IMAX theater? Though I think my theater gets more puke-runners than pee-runners, everything else in your post applies to my theater, too.

The complaining is what kills me. Yes, it is insane that we're still selling out shows, but, I'm sorry, we are. And the fact that you drove an hour to get here ON A SATURDAY NIGHT WITHOUT CHECKING THE WEBSITE OR CALLING THE THEATER doesn't make the show any less sold-out. Gah.

Posted by: vikky at January 27, 2010 7:35 PM

Jennnnnnnnn and vikky, I worked at a movie theater for two and a half years. I feel your pain to this day.

Posted by: Blonde Savant at January 27, 2010 9:02 PM

As someone who DOES have herpes, though not the eye kind, I am OFFENDED!

...

No, not really. But I had ya there, didn't I?

Annnnnnd there goes my last chance to make EE this week, and that's the best I could do.

*sigh*

Posted by: , at January 28, 2010 1:12 AM

I read about the Fatty Arbuckle rape case in Hollywood Babylon, though Kenneth Anger supposedly made a lot of the book up. Anger makes the girl who died out to be a huge skank who gave everyone crabs. Ah, the 1920's!

Posted by: Mollie at January 28, 2010 1:26 AM

Wasn't Daniel in the lion's den? Philistines....

Posted by: Ted at January 28, 2010 2:40 AM

People lick the glasses? Why, in God's name? I also don't get the peeing thing. Most theaters have bathrooms now, don't they? Although I was watching videos on College Humor out of sheer boredom, and there are a surprising number of people who seem to relieve themselves in public despite being in surroundings in which you can reasonably expect to find a bathroom. I'm thinking this can be the next new trend in horror movies once zombies get stale.

angie--I laughed my ass off at your comment. I've got a cat with a chronic respiratory infection the vet thinks is caused by herpes, and it never once occurred to me to call him Herp. *sigh* So many wasted years.

Posted by: DeadBessie at January 28, 2010 8:11 AM

Funny you should mention the "Why Are There No Cats in the Bible" book. My company published that! FYI: i hate the title.

Posted by: Scott at January 28, 2010 1:56 PM

Everyone knows that Doctor Girlfriend is a 30ish leggy bombshell with a 10 pack-a-day male-ish voice.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at January 29, 2010 12:14 PM

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Avatar Gave Me the Eyeball Herpes

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