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Pajiba Love

Quantum of Solace: Dumbest name for a movie ever, or dumbest name for a James Bond movie ever? Discuss! (CNN)

Did you know? Bindi Irwin can also start and stop a jukebox just by hitting it with her hand. (WIMB)

Fred Phelps says that Brokeback Mountain is a “sordid, tacky bucket of slime seasoned with vomit.” Now if he could only use those powers of wordsmithery towards movies like I Know Who Killed Me instead of gay bashing, we could use moxie like that around Pajiba. (Huffington Post)

Only in my old hometown does a lady run over her very own legs in the drive-thru lane of McDonald’s. (QuizLaw)

Good grief! Madonna looks like a walking corpse! (Yeeeah!)

Seriously though! It’s like the marketing think-tanks at Kotex truly believe that women menstruate Ecto Cooler or something. (Feministing)

Oh, fuck you, Best Buy. (Celebslam)

Tina Fey’s gyno must be like a huge Paris Hilton fan or something. (Celebitchy)

Nobody loves a dollar store more than me, which is why in college my house had a framed poster of a Persian cat wearing an Uncle Sam hat sitting in front of an American flag. (mental floss)

Today is “Mitt Romney YouTube clip humor day” here on the Love. First up, Mitt v. the Governator, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | January 24, 2008 | Comments (59)

Second up, Mitt gets jiggy with it.







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Comments

my favourite is from The A Daily Show when J. Stewart asks:

"...and did you know that Mitt Romney in german means: with romney?"

Posted by: causaubon at January 24, 2008 3:43 PM

regarding the now legless mcdonald's patron you say is from your old hometown. that's MY old hometown!! small world, stace. people never seemed to be that dumb on the ol' mainline. of course, i'm perpetually amazed by people's stupidity in general.

Posted by: jbag at January 24, 2008 3:44 PM

"Quantum of Solace" sounds like something Keanu Reeves would talk about in The Matrix. Or a substitute name for the vagina.

That period commercial never bothered me; it was the "Have a happy period" slogan that pissed me off.

Posted by: Brie at January 24, 2008 3:45 PM

God. I have periods and even I don't want to think about them (and contrary to Feministing's apparent POV, it's not due to any sort of internalized misogyny, the human body is often disgusting, and not just the functions that are exclusive to women). Blue shows up well to demonstrate the absorbency of the product. No, it doesn't look like anything from a human body, but I'd always assumed that was the point -- do you really want it to look like something real?

Posted by: Ellipsis at January 24, 2008 4:00 PM

Quantum of Solace alternative titles:

Butterface Bond and the Pecs of Distraction
Double Oh Hell Yeah
James Bondage in: Never Clamp My Nipples Again

Posted by: Mella at January 24, 2008 4:04 PM

Oh, but Mella - it was worth the double! I'm still cackling.

Posted by: pinkcheese at January 24, 2008 4:10 PM

Brie - I used to yell at the TV every time one of those stupid commercials told me to "Have a happy period!" Stupid male ad execs. Feel my pain, and then see if you want to be told to be happy about it. Grrrrrr. Bastards.

Apparently this is a sore topic with me; more so than I realized. Sorry.

Posted by: pinkcheese at January 24, 2008 4:18 PM

The "Have a Happy Period" commercials bothered me, but not as much as the pregnancy test commercials that feature a stream of liquid shooting onto the business end of a pee stick. A man HAD to come up with that one.

Also, the shit about Fred Phelps and the Westerlo Baptist Church makes me oh so happy to be agnostic.

Posted by: Kolby at January 24, 2008 4:23 PM

Quantum of Solace? Noooo.

It should be called Goldenhair.

-----------

Oh, and I loved the #2 item at the 99 cent store. I especially loved the "Do not walk with magknife" disclaimer.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 24, 2008 4:33 PM

Maybe it was just me....I never felt comfortable about the period commercials. First of all, they are designed for only one specific demographic, so only half of the population will want to watch it. And I just cannot see how a condescendingly trivialization of something that, from this side of the chromosome anyway, looks exceedingly painful and uncomfortable will induce you to run out and buy this product.

Maybe I just don't like to watch commercials about periods.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 24, 2008 4:37 PM

Quantum of Solace...

Sounds like the title of a poorly written paperback Sci-Fi novel that you'd find in a drug store.

Posted by: citizen_cris at January 24, 2008 4:39 PM

jbag, did you go to Phoenixville HS?! We have much to discuss.

Posted by: Stacey at January 24, 2008 4:42 PM

Quantum of Solace? Somebody's taking the Bond films a tad too seriously - unless that's a title from Fleming? Don't care enough to google.

Anyhoo, I would say the dumbest title for a movie ever, but it's only January. We have another 11 months ahead of us.

Also, Butterface Bond will never NOT be funny (Craig is still hotness, though). Hee!

Posted by: Daphne at January 24, 2008 4:45 PM

"Slime seasoned with vomit" is usually how I describe Fred Phelps! They've already backed out of picketing Heath Ledger's funeral--I'm sure when Fred realized he would be facing several hundred grief-crazed Australians in a country where he doesn't have 1st Ammendment protections, he soiled his drawers.

Posted by: june at January 24, 2008 4:45 PM

James Bond: Quantum of Solace vs. Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow.

Hrm. Hrmmmm.

Posted by: twig at January 24, 2008 4:52 PM

And I just cannot see how a condescendingly trivialization of something that, from this side of the chromosome anyway, looks exceedingly painful and uncomfortable will induce you to run out and buy this product.

That was beautifully stated, SoD, and you'd think that they would have figured that out by now, but no.

Posted by: pinkcheese at January 24, 2008 5:07 PM

This will show my low-browness, but Mella, I would absolutely watch Double Oh Hell Yeah, although my version would include the Rattlesnake giving everyone in the film a Stone Cold Stunner.

Interesting ponder, twig, but who would win between James Bond or Sam Fisher?

Posted by: ScarletKnight at January 24, 2008 5:17 PM

I believe Quantum of Solace is indeed a Fleming title.

"Interesting ponder, twig, but who would win between James Bond or Sam Fisher?"

Solid Snake. Sorry, had to mention it.

Posted by: vadmspartan at January 24, 2008 5:30 PM

Wow. I really thought "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" would be the worst franchise movie title ever.

Clearly, I was incorrect. But Brie, thanks for making me cackle like a goon... substitute name for the vagina - HA!

Thanks, Stace, for posting the Mitt videos. Good lord, he is so obviously uncomfortable around black people. And Who Let the Dogs Out?

Who let the motherfucking DOGS out?

People of Americaland. Please. Please, do whatever is within your power to ensure this man never holds office ever again. Please? With sugar and cherries and whipped cream and chocolate sauce?

Oh, I can't wait until Pookie sees the clip.

Posted by: TK at January 24, 2008 5:49 PM

I honestly don't understand why they bother advertising pads, never mind with blue kool aid or otherwise. I mean, 50% of us HAVE to deal with them at some point or another, shit practically sells itself.

Unless you're me, and intend to go on Lybrel so that you don't have to deal with the grossness, pain, and landfill clogging products ever again. Better living through drugs!

Posted by: Genny at January 24, 2008 5:49 PM

This is where Quantum of Solace comes from according to BBC News: "The title is taken from one of a collection of short stories published by 007 creator Ian Fleming in 1960."

Posted by: RAT at January 24, 2008 5:51 PM

OMG I've always thought Paris Hilton should die by running herself over with her own car. Who knew?!

Posted by: Trent880 at January 24, 2008 6:02 PM

^^^But how can we be annoyed by such a brilliant commercial? ;)

For curiosity's sake, I wonder those commercials are considered WORSE than the douche commercials; the ones with the woman always walking down the beach in some flowered dress with this contemplative expression on her face.

Posted by: Brie at January 24, 2008 6:06 PM

You know it's only a matter of time before Phelps gets caught in a restroom or a forest preserve car park toe-tapping away. And I will just sit back with a nice bar of Cadbury's and enjoy the media frenzy.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 24, 2008 6:08 PM

Brie: Especially ALERT: I'm entering TMI territory here END ALERT since those douches inappropriately alter the natural "flora and fauna" of the area and leave women prone to itchy little infections.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 24, 2008 6:11 PM

TK, I forgot to tell you that after I watched the Mitt v. black people clip this morning I started singing "who let the dogs out" to my dogs and woofing at them. True story.

Posted by: Stacey at January 24, 2008 6:11 PM

Craig's Bond is ok, and there might be some sort of Quantom physics involved on this new flick but I seriously doubt he can pull a split.... across the whole floor.... like Mel B.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 24, 2008 6:55 PM

RE: Best Buy/Heath Ledger

Although the sign is kinda weird, I don't see what the big deal is about having a display of his movies. I'm sure 239429374 people came into the store with the intention of buying one of his films, so why not have them all in one place? Sure saves their employees a lot of time/energy. The sign makes it a bit skeevy though, I will admit.


Also entering TMI territory here: I think the issue with douches is that you are basically pushing any bacteria that is in your vajayjay (medical term) further inside you, so most women just end up with yeast infections afterwards anyway. That's what I've heard anyway. I don't know too much about it and have never actually used one.

Posted by: Stephanie at January 24, 2008 7:13 PM

Take note faceless almighty Pajiva overlords, these douching and feminine hygiene discussions would be EXACTLY the sort of material for my Pajiba "After Dark" proposal. Imagine, threads dedicated to dildos and other sexual apparatus, another for lubricants, and of course, reviews of tasteful pornography and bestiality films. Maybe Ranylt could review dark obscure porn from the former Soviet-bloc. Ah?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 24, 2008 7:30 PM

TK, I forgot to tell you that after I watched the Mitt v. black people clip this morning I started singing "who let the dogs out" to my dogs and woofing at them. True story.

Say it ain't so, Stacey. Say it ain't so.

Actual woofing? My God, woman.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 24, 2008 7:46 PM

god, he looks so uncomfortable standing among black people. who let the dogs out who who!! hahahahhahha

Posted by: dene at January 24, 2008 7:54 PM

Vermillion, cut her some slack... life is different for us dog own-

what the -

urk... ack!

[thud]

guuuuuhh....

BRRAAAAAIINNSSSSSS!!!

Posted by: TK at January 24, 2008 8:14 PM

Okay, TMI time over....can we limit the douche talk to Phelps and Best Buy?

PaddyDog and Stephanie....no. Bad.

BSlim...especially no. Bad.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 24, 2008 8:17 PM

You're welcome, TK. I'm glad I able to do something productive when I was at work today.

I have to say, this has been a very revealing thread, hasn't it?

Posted by: Brie at January 24, 2008 8:59 PM

That. is. not. FUNNY.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 24, 2008 9:40 PM

TK, good job. You found him.

Georgia peaches are so juicy.

Gnuuuuuuuhhh....

Posted by: Alabamapink at January 24, 2008 10:10 PM

Quantum Of Solace...

It rolls of your tongue.

Like in a cumswap movie!

Posted by: Adere (FKA Jeff K) at January 25, 2008 7:33 AM

I always thought douches were like UV filters, removing harmful and beneficial bacteria.

When I was in high school one of the math teachers ran over her own foot. She was getting the mail, forgot to put the car and park and when it began to roll away (driveway on a hill) she tried to jump back into the car. I imagine the same thing happened at McDonald's, but it doesn't make sense because you never see a McDonald's on anything but flat-as-fuck pavement.

Posted by: The Stew at January 25, 2008 9:09 AM

So Chez's last name is Pazienza?

He could be a Bond villainwith that monicker.

Posted by: Adere at January 25, 2008 9:50 AM

He could be a Bond villainwith that monicker.

Who said he wasn't? *dramatic music*

TK and Pink (aka Jerk and Jerkette): There is no language on Earth that contains anough words to describe the intese hatred I have for you two right now.

If scientists ever find life on another planet, a world where its inhabitants are so advanced that they speak with their minds, and they were able to read my thoughts about you right now, they would be dumbfounded. There is no way for any living thing in the universe, known and unknown, to conceivably THINK of a way to describe the hatred I have for you and this stupid zombie joke.

I. HATE. YOU.

Posted by: Vermillion at January 25, 2008 10:39 AM

You seem upset, Vermillion. Are they picking on you still?

Or is that...picking at you?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 25, 2008 10:49 AM

vadmspartan, that is a good choice. Now how about a Fatal-Four-Way match starring, Sam Fisher, James Bond, Solid Snake, aaaaand Master Chief. I'll take bets anytime!

You guys really need to LEAVE VERMILLION ALONE!!! *sob* *sniffle* Besides, the brain of an RPG junkie needs delicate preparation. Save at DC +20 to avoid zombification!

Posted by: ScarletKnight at January 25, 2008 11:00 AM

Speaking of zombies, what the hell is with the scary-ass ads for wigs up there? I had to do a double-take to make sure I was still at Pajiba.

Posted by: Kolby at January 25, 2008 11:15 AM

Master Chief vs. Samus Aran.

Live it, love it.

Posted by: twig at January 25, 2008 11:44 AM

I don't see it happening twig, but I will enjoy Solid Snake vs. Samus Aran...especially in her Zero Suit *drool* I do enjoy a bit of Super Smash Bros. every now and then.

Posted by: ScarletKnight at January 25, 2008 11:50 AM

mmmm....samus in zero suit.....uh..what were we talking about again?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 25, 2008 11:55 AM

Apparently I'm in the minority, but I think Quantum of Solace is sexy.

Posted by: Jess at January 25, 2008 12:07 PM

Did anyone read "PBR" as Pabst Blue Ribbon?

And I hated the "have a happy period" line until I read the pad manufacturers are donating supplies to African girls who otherwise don't go to school during their periods, and consequently drop out. It's still a stupid line, but I can't hate 'em quite as much.

We have a dollar-type store in my area that sells cheap imports with terrible attempts at English on the packaging. The items are usually crap, but they are almost worth the price for the unintentionally hilarious copy on the box/wrappers.

Posted by: rlr260 at January 25, 2008 12:27 PM

[shuffle shuffle]

Ver... mill... ion....

[shuffle shuffle]

VER... MILL... ION...

[scratch, scratch]

Open... door... so... hungry...

Posted by: Zombie TK at January 25, 2008 12:50 PM

SK;

I was mostly referring to Haloid, which, while not technically MC... screw it. Still cool.

Solid Snake in SSM, smacking around Kirby... it does things to my brain.

Posted by: twig at January 25, 2008 12:57 PM

Mmm, Ecto cooler! Tastes like green.

Posted by: phquaryn at January 25, 2008 1:11 PM

Pajiba Love has been so much fun lately!

You guys are the best.

Posted by: Stacey at January 25, 2008 2:08 PM

nope, sorry stacey. i went to conestoga HS. US renowned 74th best high school in the country. god bless no child left behind. best test scores in the state gave us all the money we need to keep kids out of mcdonald's handicapped drive throughs.

Posted by: jbag at January 25, 2008 2:19 PM

Well, I don't LOVE the new Bond title, but I agree it has grown a bit on me. It sounds kind of cool and mysterious.
And Stacy, I know a couple who went to Conestoga High School and I live close-ish. I reside in Bryn Mawr.

Posted by: Kamakazi Feminist at January 25, 2008 2:26 PM

[shuffle shuffle]

thhhhaaaank... yoooouu... Stay...ceee...

Posted by: Zombie TK at January 25, 2008 2:29 PM

TK, you are cracking me up. I have been laughing nonstop since you started this zombie thing in the NotLD thread. You and Alabamapink are just awesome. I'm sure Vermillion thinks so too...from behind his barricaded door in his cellar, gripping a shovel and rocking back and forth.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 25, 2008 2:32 PM

[pushing aside Zombie TK]

Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...

.......Tshaaaaank Ewwwwwe....

Heeere...Clauuudeeee...Clauuude....

Dooon't........Beeeee.....Afraaaaid..........

Posted by: Zombie 'Bama at January 25, 2008 2:39 PM

James Bond in

For British Eyes Own-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Posted by: that bees chick at January 25, 2008 3:42 PM

The second Romney clip only confirmed to me that he is just as much of a fake, condescending, asshat as I've always thought he was. Those kids should've jumped his sorry ass! I fear for the sake of this country if this douche gets the Republican nom or, even worse, win the general election. Ugh!

Posted by: Pudenda at January 25, 2008 4:52 PM


















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