Pajiba Love 01/22/10

What's Got Four Legs, Bad Breath and Is Infinitely More Entertaining than Leno?

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (31)

Remember that television pilot I mentioned awhile back for a show called “Poochinski” that starred Peter Boyle as a reincarnated cop as a dog? Well, the whole thing is online, for your Friday viewing pleasure. (Warming Glow)

Ew, ew and ew. Kristen Stewart (Happy?) and Dakota Fanning, who is still only 15 years old, by the way, share a steamy lesbianic sex scene in the upcoming Runaways. (Agent Bedhead)

“The Office” came back last night with a … motherfucking clip show? Are you goddamn kidding me? I thought television stopped doing those in like, the ’80s or something. (Hairballs)

Leave it to stupid celebrities to take a profession such as stripping and make it all clean and wholesome-like for middle America. (Litelysalted)

How would you like to win a gigantic, five foot portrait of Conan O’Brien made entirely out of Cheetos? Is that even a question I have to ask? Thanks, Sofi! (Just Jared)

And in other Conan news — what do you guys think? Does Coco have what it takes to make the transition into acting? (Cinematical)

Montel Williams is apparently the same kind of absentee father he would probably give a hard time to on one of his shows. Related story time: A television producer friend of mine who worked stints for Sally Jesse, Ricki Lake, and Montel after college said that out of all the personalities he worked for Montel was the only one who was a giant flaming dick. (Celebslam)

Jell-O has a new low calorie “Mousse Temptations” pudding line that sounds good in theory, until you realize that nothing good comes in 60 calories. (Impulsive Buy)

Here’s a rundown of romantic comedy plot contrivances as they hold up to real life situations. (Frothy Girlz)

Dr. Drew has helpfully diagnosed Heidi Montag as a “female-female impersonator” despite never having met or treated her. I, on the other hand, diagnose Dr. Drew as a “Hack with Narcissistic Tendencies.” (Zelda Lily)

So I guess Joaquin Phoenix isn’t crazy anymore … But now instead he’s palling around with Miley Cyrus. Crazy, please. (Celebitchy)

The latest child pop-sensation is a Latino kid named “Mini Daddy,” whose music video naturally contains scantily-clad little girl back-up dancers. (DListed)

This is a few months old, but I’ve never seen this spoof of 28 Days Later, which is called “28 Drinks Later.” It’s basically exactly what you think it is. Thanks tris!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

Kristen STEWART, darling, not Kristen Bell.

Kristen Bell would never do anything that trashy.

Posted by: creeper at January 22, 2010 1:16 PM

Omg...you totally had me worried that Kristin Bell was actually in the Runaways movie!! I still love her but her Veronica Mars cred is wearing thin and that would have just broken me. I hear that Kristin Stewart on the other hand is actually a lesbian, so this won't be a stretch for her.

Posted by: griffimx at January 22, 2010 1:17 PM

I think you meant Kristen Stewart.

Posted by: thedarkisz at January 22, 2010 1:23 PM

How would you like to win a gigantic, five foot portrait of Conan O’Brien made entirely out of Cheetos? Is that even a question I have to ask?

Back off, y'all! It's MINE!!!

Posted by: Britney Spears at January 22, 2010 1:27 PM

Kristen STEWART, darling, not Kristen Bell.
THANK Godtopus! Wait, that is still awful. And if I have to watch a sex scene, I would rather watch Bell any day.
Hmm, ick any way you slice it.

Posted by: shamed in the shadows at January 22, 2010 1:27 PM

That awful kid looks like that mini man who used to sing with Kid Rock.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 22, 2010 1:27 PM

OK she's been corrected 3 times. Next person to do it gets the Guillotine.

I love the RomCom plot devices. One of my most hated RomCom cliches is when the uptight girl gets drunk and somehow becomes free and then the guy falls in love with her because he gets to see her true self!

BULLSHIT. Someone who is really uptight won't let themselves get worked over by some repellent sleazebag, and seeing a woman drunk out of her mind won't exactly charm a smart man into suddenly loving her.

Posted by: figgy at January 22, 2010 1:29 PM

LIAR! I went there looking for sweet Bell action and I was denied!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 22, 2010 1:34 PM

I like that the old dude in the clip is more outraged that Mormons are drinking than the babies are doing shots. Then again, my toddler already does keg stands, so who am I to talk?

Posted by: Your Mom at January 22, 2010 1:36 PM

I can't stay mad. I just love Poochinski too much. And Suck It, Figs.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 22, 2010 1:37 PM

I know this is a movie/TV site but politics have come up here before. But somehow you are managing to completely ignore everything happening as a result of the Massachusetts elections and the SCOTUS ruling. I guess you have nothing to say when things don't go your way.

Posted by: EricD at January 22, 2010 1:40 PM

Speaking of politics, I am a bit surprised that Lady McCain's ad for NOH8 wasn't mentioned.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 22, 2010 1:42 PM

That video was AMAZING! It really could be its own genre -- alcohol-based spoofs of zombie movies (Dawn of the Drunks, Day of the Drunks, Night of the Staggering Drunks, Diary of a Mad Drunk Woman (that is a zombie movie, right?), etc.). Special care would need to be taken in writing the script for Shaun of the Drunks, lest it become too meta -- I vote Boozehound.

Now I need an electronic cigarette....

Posted by: VampireSlug at January 22, 2010 2:01 PM

That awful kid looks like that mini man who used to sing with Kid Rock.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 22, 2010 1:27 PM

--------------------------------------------------
Joe C. (Calleja) passed away due to complications of Celiac disease and other medical issues in 2000.

"Three foot nine with a ten foot dick"

Posted by: Jadine at January 22, 2010 2:18 PM

Oh lord! That that Mini Daddy video was so very, very wrong! I lasted about 20 seconds--or whenever the scantily clad young girls came into the picture--and now I want to bleach my eyes.

Posted by: tamatha at January 22, 2010 2:20 PM

I went there looking for sweet Bell action and I was denied!

Yeah, it's just not the same without wonky eyes.

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2010 2:25 PM

Thank you for the 28 Drinks Later video, hilarious. I also love to see the Boy Meets World cast any which way I can get 'em. (You go Sean Hunter's dad!)

As for Conan, I can't really see him in a meaty acting role. He probably has the chops, but I think his late-night persona will overshadow him. But I'd really love to see him do some more cameos/recurring character bits, a la 30 Rock like that article mentioned.
Well...then again Joel McHale is really pulling off the transition from talk-show(ish) host to actor in Community.
Make me eat my own words Coco!

Posted by: gee. ay. at January 22, 2010 2:44 PM

I am not sure who this Channing fellow is, but may I just say in all sincerity , ROOOOOWER. Lose the retarded sunglasses and belt buckle (in that order) and come on over. We can discuss your Pole technique.
And by 'Pole' I mean Penis.
And by 'discuss', I mean screwing.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 22, 2010 3:29 PM

I swear...starting at 35 seconds in, Mini Daddy's lines of verse end in...

my Burrito...my chilito...my dorito and then around 55 seconds in says something about "My pa-qui-qui-qui-to..."

Judging by how chubby this little shit is, I think I'm right.

Viva Pajiba!! ~ PissBoy

Posted by: PissBoy at January 22, 2010 3:29 PM

A day without LwaE making some sort f predictable sexual reference is like a day that doesn't end in 'Y', or a day without sunshine, a Smurf without the blue, a 3rd world country not decimated by natural disaster...ooo...

too soon?

Posted by: PissBoy at January 22, 2010 3:32 PM

Hey, I don't have a lot of time these days PissBoy. I have to pluck the low hanging fruit. If you know what I mean. {wink} And you do.

I am assuming that since Smurfs wouldn't be Surfs without the Blue, and a day without Sunshine is booooring, that you are generally amused by my pervy ways.
Sorry if I offend anyone's delicate sensibilities or porn-y aesthetics. I will try to make my sexual references less predictable and more clever.

Aaand off to work. Toodles.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 22, 2010 3:51 PM

Jesus Christ, "lesbian" and "pedophillia" should not enter the same sentence. I'm going to go replace all the water in the house with Listerine and Holy Water, and shower until I burn the chills away.

Posted by: George at January 22, 2010 4:26 PM

Oh LWAE you have turned sexual innuendo into an art form.

Jadine: He died? Thats really sad I had no idea.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 22, 2010 4:29 PM

And Kid Rock pays tribute to him at every single show, it's very sweet. Yes, okay, I admit it, I like Kid Rock...a lot.

Posted by: Jadine at January 22, 2010 4:33 PM

Hey, Pissboy. It's too soon. It is.

It is too soon to make jokes about Haiti.

In fact, hey everyone -- if you make an inappropriate and cruel joke about thousands of people dying horribly due to being crushed and/or starving to death, it's not cool just because you're self-aware. It's less cool, actually.

"Too soon?" is quickly becoming my least favorite phrase. I'm embarrased that I've used it myself at equally inappropriate times.

Sorry to jump on you, Pissboy. I am. But hey, you asked, right? Right.

Posted by: superasente at January 22, 2010 4:42 PM

I don't mind Kid Rock hes jut not really big in the UK so I don't know much about him excep that he sand 'My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid
Rock!'
But anyway thats really sad and Im sorry if you thought I was being rude.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 22, 2010 4:43 PM

Well, I'll be singing that Mini Daddy song all night. And the only words I caught were "nino" and "burrito."

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 22, 2010 6:15 PM

The "28 Drinks Later" video was okay, but any excuse to get Nick Swardson more work is a good one. Funny guy stuck in a gaggle of shitty movies.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at January 22, 2010 7:05 PM

Mouse Temptations!

Posted by: Odnon at January 22, 2010 9:35 PM

Million bucks says Kristen Stewart is a lesbian.

Posted by: Gaydar at January 23, 2010 4:34 AM

Interested in a discrete and mutually beneficial relationship? http://AgelessOnly.com gives you a chance to make your life better.

Posted by: Brad at January 23, 2010 6:10 AM

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What's Got Four Legs, Bad Breath and Is Infinitely More Entertaining than Leno?

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