web
counter
 

When Good Directors Go Bad

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (54)



jack1996.jpg

With Peter Jackson’s Lovely Bones getting almost universally panned by critics, here is a six-pack of unspeakably bad films by good directors. (PW)

Dan Carlson has added his own commentary about the late night fracas going on, and how “people who use the Internet to do more than forward cat pictures” are rallying behind Conan. To be fair, my dad forwards mostly dog pictures. (Hairballs)

Meanwhile, Quentin Tarantino is helping Conan flesh out his next project: A — wait for it — revenge flick. (Agent Bedhead)

John Mayer spoke to Rolling Stone about his penchant for constantly masturbating. Seriously John, this is why everyone hates you and thinks you’re a douchebag. Go away. (Litelysalted)

Oooooooooooooh! “True Blood” spoiler alert! Season Three might include some hot Sam on Bill action. Is a doggy style joke fair game? Thanks, I’ll be here all night. (Screen Junkies)

Remember Tiffany, the ’80s pop singer who sang that song “I think We’re Alone Now?” Well she’s starring in a direct-to-DVD horror flick called Necrosis. Um, good for her? (Bloody Disgusting)

Kathy Griffin is reportedly vying to take over for Simon Cowell on “American Idol.” I guess she should start practicing playing with her boobs on camera, then. (Celebslam)

A few weeks ago I mentioned that Danny Elfman’s score has been scrapped for Wolfman, but now they’re back to using it again. So there’s that. (The Playlist)

Somebody on the internet decided to animate the Na’avi sex scene from Avatar. Meh. It’s not good enough to embed, but I suppose I’ll link to it. (Film Drunk)

On the heels of yesterday’s fanfic debacle, somebody decided to get a really inappropriate tattoo featuring Princess Leia and R2-D2. Kind of NSFW-ish. Thanks? Amanda. (Ugliest Tattoos)

Here’s a “Where Are They Now” with the cast of Kids, that movie that was all like controversial and stuff in the ’90s. Except we know where Jennie is, of course — wearing ugly purple dresses to awards shows and then screeching at people for stepping on them. (Unreality)

Here’s a list of totally doable older dudes. But what, no Anthony Stewart Head? I gotta give Giles some love. (Frothy Girlz)

In the wake of the Golden Globes, the bloggers over at the New York Times have decided to turn into a bunch of giant dickheads. (Celebitchy)

Remember the Chinese computer animation depiction of the Tiger Woods scandal? Well now they’ve taken on Conan and Jay — resulting in an Anchorman-style brawl with Conan O’Brien as the Hulk, Jeff Zucker as Captain America and Jay Leno as Superman. And Letterman as himself. Naturally.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









The Last Station Review | Midgets vs. Mascots Review













Comments

Posted by: Scully at January 20, 2010 1:05 PM

Hey, yay for Pajiba on Huffington Post! I've long wondered why more people don't know about this site. It's the first place I go to for movie reviews and it has my most trusted film critics. Even my kid has learned to say "oh did you read the review on Pajiba?"

Yeah, where else?

Anyway, the bad movies by good directors made me think of something: actors that get job after job after job even though they've been good in exactly 1-3 films in their career.

Can anyone explain this?

I'm specifically thinking of people like Nicolas Cage. I looked up his entire filmography on IMDB and dude has done a MESS of movies. Consistently, since the early 80s. But you know how many I enjoyed him in? Three, MAYBE four. They are: Valley Girl, Raising Arizona and Moonstruck. And Valley Girl was less because of his stellar acting job and more because of the feel and story of the film.

No wait, four if you count Leaving Las Vegas. I thought he did a good job there, though it's not a movie you want to watch again. Four and an eighth if you consider his teeeensy role in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

In the other 6,000 films he's been in, I find him to be a wooden cringe-worthy almost unwatchable bore.

What the hell? Why does he continue to get work?

I'm also looking at you, Julia Roberts Who Just Plays Herself Over and Over. I can't even count three movies I've enjoyed HER in.

Ah. Thanks for letting me get that out, Pajiba. It's been buggin.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 1:16 PM

OH MY GOD I just saw the link to the list of Totally Doable Older Men. Were you thinking of ME when you posted that? Because, I never do this but: SQUEEEEEEE.

They left off: Willie Nelson, Steven Seagal, and Richard Simmons (for those who he would be into).

My thing for older guys has probably always been there, but it's getting worse. It's really just a huge compliment to Mr. Snuggie, because he's only getting hotter with age. How do men DO that?

I'm a little bit worried that as *I* get older, my definition of hot older man is going to change. I mean, what happens when I'm in my 60s and only find men in their 90s hot to trot? Where does it end? (Please don't say necrophilia, please don't say necrophilia.)

But a great big ROWR to hot old men.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 1:23 PM

oh now it's official, this place has jumped the shark I remember when it used to be about the movies, man.

Bunch of fucking sellouts.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 20, 2010 1:23 PM

And now it's about hot old Peepaws.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 1:24 PM

I am entirely done with O'Brien vs. Leno. Yeah, Conan's getting the shaft, but considering that shaft comes with a set of $30 million balls, I think he'll survive.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 20, 2010 1:27 PM

And now it's about hot old Peepaws.

Don't forget about the accompanying priapism!

Posted by: branded at January 20, 2010 1:28 PM

branded Stop. I'm at work.

(Wipes brow.)

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 1:30 PM

Mmmmmm Giles.

True Story: Every time we see ASH on anything (and sometimes for no reason at all), pseudo-Mr. vB says "Giles, everyone! Giles!" like Ricardo Montalban used to say on Fantasy Island. Except when we watch Lost. Then he says, "Miles, everyone! Miles!"

Pseudo-Mr. vB is kind of a dork. It's a scientific fact.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at January 20, 2010 1:39 PM

Does making one good movie really qualify Peter Jackson as a "great director?"

Posted by: Gitley Jones at January 20, 2010 1:41 PM

Willie Nelson?! What, do you also look for dates at the bus station and the homeless shelter?

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 20, 2010 1:41 PM

Well, I would have put Sam Elliot on a list of hot old dudes, but I fully agree with the rest of it. Good times.

Posted by: Jeni at January 20, 2010 1:45 PM

I gotta give Giles some love.

Oy gevalt, get in line behind my girlfriend. She never stops with it.

Posted by: Jay at January 20, 2010 1:54 PM

Oh yeah, I loves me some Silver Fox. Rooower! I LOVE some gray hair on a man. Love it. No Patrick Stewart? C'mon!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 20, 2010 1:55 PM

Tracer No, I do not. What does Willie have to do with homeless people?

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 2:00 PM

The only thing better than grey is bald.

(Takes off hat and shakes head like I'm letting my hair down)

And I've got tons of that. So yeah for Patrick Stewart LindsEy.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 20, 2010 2:00 PM

Kind of NSFW-ish?!?

As for the True Blood news, AAAUGH!! I can't decide if I'm aroused or really bothered. Compromise: hot and bothered.

slapslortslapslortslapslortslapslort

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 20, 2010 2:01 PM

Kathy Griffin is annoying enough just as she is. Must she join AI?

Posted by: Bizarro Sofía at January 20, 2010 2:02 PM

Snuggiepants--I'm with you on liking the older men. Harrison Ford was my first crush and he's still damned attractive today. But RICHARD SIMMONS? It has nothing to do with him being a giant queen--it's his repellent afro hair and glistening-with-oil (and sometimes glitter) skin. I caught a glimpse of him on the Today Show this week and the dude totally belongs on the "guys who look like old lesbians" site. Plus...those shorts. Always with the shorts. He's one high-kick away from a traumatizing wardrobe malfunction.

I would add to the list Alan Rickman and (because I'm on a Star Trek: TNG kick right now) Brent Spiner. Dude is rockin' the grey hair.

Posted by: DeadBessie at January 20, 2010 2:03 PM

Who knew there was a market for Werther's Original-scented cologne (my patent is pending)?

Posted by: branded at January 20, 2010 2:04 PM

JDW: I love some bald on a man too. Balding is fine too. It ain't what you got, it is how you use it. Hell, I thought Anthony Edwards as Dr. Green on ER was a smokin' hottie. I like some geek on a man as well.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 20, 2010 2:15 PM

I read “people who use the Internet to do more than forward cat pictures”, and my mind went, "Hey, I haven't checked I Can Has Cheezburger today!"

I like to think I straddle the fine line between insufferable yuppy dipshit and lovable idiot savant.

Posted by: NotesOnMyBathroomMirror at January 20, 2010 2:15 PM

I am proud of not having seen one of the six despicable movies by great directors. I also question the great attached to Peter Jackson.

Posted by: Brenton at January 20, 2010 2:20 PM

I'm also looking at you, Julia Roberts Who Just Plays Herself Over and Over. I can't even count three movies I've enjoyed HER in.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 1:16 PM

But a great big ROWR to hot old men.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 1:23 PM
---
snuggie,

I booked the Justice of the Peace for 2 p.m. Saturday. Pick you up at noon?

Followed by 48 hours (at least) of the lingus, menstrual or otherwise.

Posted by: , at January 20, 2010 2:26 PM

Does it make you sooo hot when you can hear them unwrapping hard candy at the movie theater? Does it? Does that make you hot?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 20, 2010 2:26 PM

JDW: I love some bald on a man too. Balding is fine too. It ain't what you got, it is how you use it.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 20, 2010 2:15 PM
---
LindsEy,

I booked the Justice of the Peace for 10 a.m. Saturday. Pick you up at 8?

Followed by 48 hours (at least) of the lingus, menstrual or otherwise (commencing at approx. 3 p.m. Monday).

Posted by: , at January 20, 2010 2:29 PM

Posted by: , at January 20, 2010 2:29 PM

-------------------------------------

I like your style.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 20, 2010 2:31 PM

Don't forget Alien 3 by Fincher, Indy 4 by Spielberg and Lucas, Spider-Man 3 by Sam Raimi, Alien 4 by Whedon, fuck it, just about any 3rd or 4th movie in a series, and pretty much anything by Rob Reiner, David Zucker, and Ivan Reitman in the past two decades.

Posted by: George at January 20, 2010 2:42 PM

The only thing better than grey is bald.

How come whenever a black man or hispanic man shaves their head, they always look sexy, but whenever a white guy loses their hair, and they're not named Patrick Stewart, they look like a giant penis?

Posted by: George at January 20, 2010 2:56 PM

But that's an old picture of me, George. Back in my American Gladiator's phase. I grew out of it. My hair, however, didn't.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 20, 2010 3:03 PM

Hooray for Massachusetts voters!

Posted by: EricD at January 20, 2010 3:18 PM

I know I'm going to sound like a sexist pig but here goes:

If you're concentrating on the dress Christina Hendricks is wearing, you're staring at the wrong thing.

Posted by: bignick at January 20, 2010 3:27 PM

Ditto on the Patrick Stewart and Alan Rickman love. Also, maybe I just like'em a little on the eccentric side, but I was kind of let down by the omission of Viggo from the list. And what about David Bowie? Am I alone in adoring him?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go visit some New York Times bloggers and whoop the catty out of their asses.

Posted by: ShinyKate at January 20, 2010 3:29 PM

Big Daddy, you whore. I don't share my men. Nothing against the lovely and talented Snuggie. I am a jealous god.

Who has to go to work goddammit.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 20, 2010 3:29 PM

How the HELL did Liam Neeson not make that list?! Or Gary Oldman?

The list is DUMB and it SMELLS.

Posted by: figgy at January 20, 2010 3:31 PM

Snuggie, I think Cage keeps getting money because he's Coppola's nephew? And I mean, look at Coppola! But you know him and his daughter probably have a lot of clout in Hollywood and what not and now that fucker is EVERYWHERE.

And...yeah, I don't think PJ is that great a director. He'd be nothing without Weta.

ALAN RICKMAN OOOH YEAH. I'd do him.

Posted by: figgy at January 20, 2010 3:44 PM

Errr, I mean "keeps making movies". Though really, same thing.

Also, Rob Schneider. Ick.

Posted by: figgy at January 20, 2010 3:45 PM

Did anyone mention how weird that John Mayer thing was?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 20, 2010 4:15 PM

If Kathy Griffin were on American Idol, I might be tempted to watch it. She would be DELICIOUS.

Posted by: Slash at January 20, 2010 5:18 PM

Older dudes: Hugh Laurie, yes; Dennis Quaid, maybe

The rest, no. Too old.

Willie Nelson, ew. Richard Simmons, ick. And ew. It's not the gay part, it's just that he's greasy. And the shorts do bug. I'll give him credit for having a nice bod, but everything above the neck ruins it, plus how spazzy he is. I'm sure he's a very nice person, but as a sex object, no.

Posted by: Slash at January 20, 2010 5:40 PM

I gotta give Giles some love.
EW! He's not sexy at all! He's gross old, not hot old!

But Alan Rickman! He can make me come with his voice. Imagine what he could do with his...other parts!

And what's with the lack of Jon Stewart love?

Posted by: esme at January 20, 2010 5:43 PM

Big Daddy, you whore. I don't share my men. Nothing against the lovely and talented Snuggie. I am a jealous god.

Who has to go to work goddammit.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 20, 2010 3:29 PM
---
All right, all right. I'm moving you to 3 p.m. Saturday and snuggie to 3 p.m. Monday.

*whips out notebook*

Sheesh. I thought you'd LIKE it that I had snugs scheduled in the undercard.

Posted by: , at January 20, 2010 5:58 PM

You oneballed pimp! Bring it Big Man, bring it!

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 20, 2010 6:12 PM

I second figgy's Neeson/Oldman additions and join in the Rickmanite chorus. My list also has Ian MacShane and Frank Langella.

Judge away, young whippersnappers.

Posted by: ALR at January 20, 2010 7:11 PM

I love how I could make out the word "Coco" amidst the Chinese.

Posted by: kristin at January 20, 2010 8:00 PM

You oneballed pimp! Bring it Big Man, bring it!

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 20, 2010 6:12 PM
---
You betcha. Did I tell you my superpower is being able to lift a 120-pound woman a foot off a mattress using only my tongue?

Posted by: , at January 20, 2010 8:28 PM

80s and 90s are too old. 70s are not too old.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at January 20, 2010 8:44 PM

Good lord, that list of hot older actors is terrible. Where's Alan Rickman, Patrick Stewart, Giles (mmmm, Giles), Pierce Brosnan, Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman (I can't explain it, I just have a thing for him - and he's 72!), Sam Neill, etc, etc.

And how old we talkin' here? George Clooney is like 49, I think. Sean Bean's 50.

Bah.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 20, 2010 9:26 PM

I forgot Michael Palin. If I'd been born in the 50's, I totally would've been a Python groupie.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 20, 2010 9:29 PM

Well Big Daddy, you better start working out, because I think my tits alone weigh more than that.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 20, 2010 10:54 PM

BAM! BAM!

Send more pictures. You know where.

Posted by: , at January 20, 2010 11:28 PM

Ever feel that you would easily see yourself fitting into his / her life despite the age difference? http://AgelessOnly.com is a good place.

Posted by: Rose at January 21, 2010 1:05 AM

DONE! I sent you a VERY popular pic of my Sweater Puppies. :-}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 21, 2010 4:10 AM

I can't believe that the list of "bad movies by good directors," while everyone's bashing away at "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," "Swept Away" stayed under their radar.

Posted by: Death By Hippopotamus at January 21, 2010 10:57 AM


















Viral Hits

>> Pajiba Movie Posters

>> Pop Culture's 20 Greatest Dancing GIFs

>> Mindhole Blowers

>> The 100 Greatest Insults of All Time

>> The "Other" 100 Greatest Movie Quotes

>> The 100 Greatest Movie Threats of All Time

>> The Sean Bean Death Reel

>> Chicks Dig Beards: It's Science

>> The Coolest TV Show Title Sequences

>> The Most Rewatchable Movies

>> The Most Expensive Movies of All Time