free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 01/12/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Who Cares Who Won: The Dresses and Everything Else

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | January 12, 2009 | Comments (43)

Now that you’ve been filled in with the complete list of Golden Globes winners, let’s get to what really matters: The dresses! (WIMB)

This definitely had to be the funniest moment of the Golden Globes last night. Suck it, Angelina! (DListed)

Or maybe this was the funniest moment? Fuck, if making hilarious jokes about Madonna gets you booed, then I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be applauded. (Celebitchy)

Pffft… Amateurs… (QuizLaw)

Russell Crowe got Sienna Miller booted from the upcoming Nottingham because he’s too fat and old and gross (did I mention fat?) to play lead romantic opposite of her. (Yeeeah!)

If Michael C. Hall was going to marry his onscreen sister I wouldn’t have gone with Lauren Ambrose. (HuffPo)

Kanye West entertains the hell out of me every time he opens his mouth. I mean, no, not when he sings exactly. (AgentBedhead)

If you’re one of the ones who got a shiny new iPhone for Christmas, here are five applications geared to helping you keep your New Year’s resolutions. (mental floss)

“The Flight of the Conchords” guys finally put their money where their mouths are. (BestWeekEver)

I can think of more than a few people I’d like to send a package of steaming shit to. But seriously, is this shit legal? (Pun intended.) (ShitSenders)

Taking a year off? Hmm… Don’t mind if I do! (StuffWhitePeopleLike)

I think I may have linked to this site before, but I can’t remember. Either way, can anyone really get enough of cute things falling asleep? Thanks, branded! (CuteThingsFallingAsleep)

Even though we’re a couple of East Coasters, my boyfriend has regaled me with tales of the fabled In-N-Out burger, which I have yet to experience for myself. After seeing this however… I don’t think I would want to eat anywhere that does this to poor, innocent french fries. (SeriousEats)

Here’s the time waster of the day: Obamasize yourself! (Paste)

If you caught last week’s “30 Rock” and want more “Top That,” here it is, thanks to the wonderful Beckylooo!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Top That is my favorite video. Whenever I'm sad I watch it. Look at how funky he is.

Posted by: becks at January 12, 2009 12:10 PM

That picture of Zellwhateverthefuck should be the international symbol for constipation.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 12, 2009 12:14 PM

Wait a goddamned minute, Dexter married his sister? Sumbitch, I thought you could only do that in Texas and Saskatchewan?

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 12:14 PM

One of the things they don't mention on SWPL about the "year off" is that only male white people get to jet off to foreign locales with no definite plans and nary but a backpack to keep them company. When you're a woman alone you just attract creepy people, even in "safe" places like Italy. I may be speaking from personal experience.

Also, god help me if "you can live at home while you save up to get an apartment on your own" turns into a "year off".

Posted by: Genny (also Rtusty) at January 12, 2009 12:16 PM

You're right. Pouring onions onto fries is cruel and unusual.

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 12:19 PM

When you're a woman alone you just attract creepy people, even in "safe" places like Italy.

Really? Women avoid life-changing, wonderful backpacking trips on the risk of dealing with 'creepy people'?

Man, makes me glad to be a CHUD.

Posted by: twig at January 12, 2009 12:23 PM

Um...so when does the Underappreciated Gems review of Teen Witch come out?

Posted by: MG at January 12, 2009 12:27 PM

Aww, my Mom is going to be heartbroken over Michael C. Hall getting married to his co-star. Mom had his ex-wife as a student in high school, and has been following their careers for years. She really likes "Dexter" and was hoping they'd get back together.

Posted by: Roni at January 12, 2009 12:28 PM

Dude. In-N-Out is NOT good food. There's one like, a block from where I live, another one near my work, and many more all over town, and yet I would actually, literally, cook my own dinner before I'd eat that nasty dreck. If that's not a testament to how grody the food is, well, then.

You've never eaten my cooking.

Posted by: Clee Shay at January 12, 2009 12:30 PM

I thought Laura Linney looked really beautiful last night. Zellwegger, on the other hand, has never met a hairbrush.

Pouring onions onto fries is cruel and unusual.

Oh but Spanish fries, with onions and jalapenos and spicey goodness, are a thing of glory.

Posted by: Julie at January 12, 2009 12:31 PM

Okay, so I've already thrown away most of my credibility by saying I'd love to do Renee Zellwegger (but not in that dress). Then I Googled pics of Amy Spangler (Dexter's ex-wife). And I know why they're divorced. She looks sorta like Frank the Pug from M.I.B. At least around the eyes.

I mean, I'd do her and everything, but NO WAY would I give her my real name or number.

Posted by: Xtreme at January 12, 2009 12:35 PM

Sumbitch, I thought you could only do that in Texas and Saskatchewan?

Shows what you know. The Marriage Act, 1804 was just amended last year to make the marrying of ones sister or brother illegal. Unless, of course, they are a sibling by adoption, then it is game on. Thakfully first cousins are still allowed as we need children that are bred to clean corrals and work at Hot Topic.

Posted by: admin at January 12, 2009 12:37 PM

I can't wait for Flight of the Conchords because I am the most beautiful girl in room. Oops, I'm late for my part-time modeling job.

Posted by: wsapnin at January 12, 2009 12:38 PM

I'm gonna vomit on you, Julie!

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 12:43 PM

Well THAT wouldn't be gentlemanly, now would it?

You'll eat those Spanish fries and you'll LIKE IT.

Posted by: Julie at January 12, 2009 12:47 PM

Spanish fries are DELICIOUS, Jay.

Posted by: jM at January 12, 2009 12:50 PM

That video just rocked my day. I'm going straight home for lunch and watching the new 30 rock. I fucking LOVE Teen Witch.

Posted by: jamiepants at January 12, 2009 12:50 PM

Why does everyone keep saying Cohen's joke was on Madonna? I thought it was putting down Richie - and that's what the audience was booing? Just me?

Posted by: Cindy at January 12, 2009 12:52 PM

Sorry but "onions and jalapenos and spicey goodness" comes nowhere near "delicious" for me.

I'd say more like she treated him and everybody else like an assistant and he took it.

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 1:02 PM

True dat.

Posted by: Cindy at January 12, 2009 1:06 PM

twig, I think Genny was using "[attract] creepy people" as a euphamism for "[get robbed/raped/murdered (and/or some combination of the above) by] creepy people."

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 12, 2009 1:10 PM

Holy crap you weren't kidding.
Amy Spangler, Missy Pyle and Bridget Wilson-Sampras all have that demonic wideset eyes thingy. They must have awesome peripheral vision!

Posted by: amanda47 at January 12, 2009 1:27 PM

Yeah maybe, Anna, but that can happen anywhere. I know there are places in the world where women have to run a gauntlet and a half of bullshit, but I don't think that makes world travel any kind of male enterprise.

Guys can get the shit mugged out of them too.

Posted by: twig at January 12, 2009 1:31 PM

Oh, of course it can. I don't disagree with you there, and I wouldn't necessarily let the thought stop me. (Though I'd probably try to go in a group or at least a pair before I go it alone. I do know a girl who backpacked through France and Spain to see some churches who started with a group but then went off on her own, and she was fine, but she's also been there before and has some knowledge of the area.) It does maybe make it a more daunting thought, though, as it's quite a bit more likely to happen to a woman.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 12, 2009 1:48 PM

Oh shit, 30 Rock is back on? I thought it was done until like March. DAONLODE.

Posted by: Lucas at January 12, 2009 1:51 PM

or, I could just be making that up.

men are ill-advised to be less concerned about security than women; statistically they are just as likely to be robbed and much more likely to find themselves in physical danger. http://www.travellingalone.co.uk/advice-for-men-travelling-alone.html

I do that sometimes.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 12, 2009 1:54 PM

COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH GURGLE SPIT....

Too feverish too actually read anything above, but I need to get this out - WHERE THE CHRIST WERE ZELLWEEGERIDOO'S NIPPLES?! Seriously. That's a see-through top, right? So what the hell happened? Did they cave in on themselves ala her face? Did she trade them for a better starring role? Did Jonathan Lipnikki tear them off to weigh them? How much did they weigh, Renee? HOW MUCH? DON'T WALK AWAY RENEE!*

*I get bonus points for the song reference. Dustin said so...

Posted by: Skitz at January 12, 2009 2:07 PM

And that was "Top That" from the movie Teen Witch. I apologize, our usual warm-up comedian OD'd in a gay man's apartment this morning.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 12, 2009 2:10 PM

statistically [men] are just as likely to be robbed and much more likely to find themselves in physical danger.

Were these studies done using the metric system, because that can be deceiving. Can someone convert these stats to standard units?

Posted by: branded at January 12, 2009 2:13 PM

Guys can get the shit mugged out of them too.

Yeah I was sad when I wrote my overseas mugging story for BlogMeATale in the free-form month and then she did "travel".

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 2:16 PM

WHERE THE CHRIST WERE ZELLWEEGERIDOO'S NIPPLES?!

I'm just guessing here, but... under her bra?

Posted by: Sabrina at January 12, 2009 3:08 PM

Ok absolutely no one is commenting on the website link for sending ACTUAL animal shit to people in the mail. I think that is one of the most awesome grossest, incredible, most immoral, too bad it's too late for Christmas, heinous thing I've seen yet.

(Bookmarked.)

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at January 12, 2009 3:26 PM

Crap, does the for strikethrough tag not work? Ruins my entire joke above. DAMN YOU HTML TAGS!

Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at January 12, 2009 3:29 PM

And don't forget that men can be raped too. Unpleasant, but true. Nobody is immune to danger and physical violation.

It's not bad that I have quite a list of people I would happily send dogshit to...is it?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 12, 2009 3:35 PM

Beav, I'm sending you the triple-coiler turd special. PRIORITY POST too. Only cos I love you.

Posted by: Janey at January 12, 2009 3:38 PM

I'm just guessing here, but... under her bra?

Where they belong. Renee, honey, I know what people are saying about you...and it may be true...and it may not be. But...dear...please keep those flapjacks hidden far...far...from human view. For the good of future generations.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 12, 2009 3:42 PM

I hereby rescind my entire initial comment, as first of all I was speaking for someone else which is so many levels of wrong it's ridiculous, and secondly I was pretty much just talking out my ass apparently. I do that sometimes.

As for the animal shit, well, that one's old news to me... somebody at my old job discovered it. I'd be surprised to find out a certain operations manager hasn't gotten this "gift" yet.

P.S. I still don't like Eves Mendes' dress, and that necklace, while gorgeous, doesn't go with it *at all*. I didn't like J. Lo's dress, and I didn't like Beyonce's necklace. Christina Applegate's necklace was beautiful. (Are you sensing a theme in what I look at on the red carpet? Mmm sparkly.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at January 12, 2009 5:37 PM

Boobies?

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at January 12, 2009 5:52 PM

Salma Hayek is on 30 Rock so men will stop ogling Tina Fey.

Posted by: Lucas at January 12, 2009 8:32 PM

If that's the case they're failing.

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2009 8:54 PM

if you stick to the straight menu, in-n-out is the shit! the fries absolutely MUST be eaten in house, otherwise they go all soggy on you.
stacey, have no fear. we can walk (easily) from my house to the nearest one, so we don't have to worry about any of that pesky "drinking and driving". just pack up your bags, i'll turn on the spa.
the key's under the mat.
-buns

Posted by: bionic bunny at January 12, 2009 9:21 PM

If Michael C. Hall was going to marry his onscreen sister I wouldn't have gone with Lauren Ambrose He didn't. Did you mean to say would have?

Posted by: Brian at January 12, 2009 11:27 PM

I think those bulimia fries are brilliant. Pre-purged food is such a time saver.

Posted by: Kris at January 13, 2009 2:01 AM