Pajiba

Mario Lopez can't host the dog show. I love the dog show! Who came up with this idea? Well I guess that ruins one of the only things on television that I truly love.

I'm having a hard time liking Natalie Portman these days. She needs to just keep quiet because she's not exactly doing herself any favors. Jessica Simpson rules for you now Natalie, sit there and look pretty.

Wait, Mario Lopez hosts the dog show?

What's next, Sarah Jessica Parker hosting the Kentucky Derby?

"Natalie Portman, who is in fact Jewish, said in a recent interview that she’s basically above playing a Jew."

I didn't get that sense from her quote at all. Here's what she said: "I've always tried to stay away from playing Jews. I get like 20 Holocaust scripts a month, but I hate the genre."

That reads to me like she's conflating Jewish roles with Holocaust roles. And that probably happens to her (and other Jewish actresses) a lot. I'd get pretty tired being the go-to girl for Holocaust films, too. And the genre tends to be prone to cliche, and sort of one-notey. (Unless you're The Pianist.)

The article continues: "The 28-year-old actress made an exception in 2009 and played a Hasidic bride in the film New York, I Love You. 'That was the first thing to come my way that really intrigued me.'"

As an actress, it's probably much more interesting and challenging to examine the life of someone so closed-off and different. So she's not above playing a Jew. She's above playing Jewish stereotypes.

Mario Lopez can't host the dog show. I love the dog show! Who came up with this idea? Well I guess that ruins one of the only things on television that I truly love.

I KNOW. That dimpled simpering ASSWIPE can't taint the dog show. I LOVE THE DOG SHOW. I can only hope that the dogs will be so smart as to bite him right in the cheekbone so those damned dimples will disappear forever. Go, doggies, go!

"Here’s a retrospective of the jewelry commercials of 2009, because nothing says “true love” than some tacky piece of crap cookie cutter diamond something or other from your neighborhood mall jewelry store."

i'm not in the least bit interested in getting an engagement ring-if my boyfriend wants to marry me, then that's enough in and of itself. i will admit to out-rightly mocking those commercials when we're together tho...that way in case he does attempt to buy me one it won't be from one of those cheesedick places.

I have to agree with Mike B. - McCarthy said it was "good".

Also, I have absolutely no problem with Mariah Carey since she is completely unintentionally hilarious. She brings me great joy, so back off of her!

I wonder sometimes if people who try to kill themselves by self-stabbing have just watched too many movies. I mean, they make it look reasonably easy in movies, but it's really pretty hard to do, even simply from a force/leverage standpoint.

The boy and I stopped seeing her as a sex object once she signed that Polanski thing. *sigh* I miss simpler times.

Natalie Portman's wooden-ass acting in a Holocaust movie. That could be unintentionally hilarious.

I find the use of "genre" a little weird in that context, too - as if she's equating rom-coms with Holocaust movies.

"I find the use of 'genre' a little weird in that context, too - as if she's equating rom-coms with Holocaust movies."

I give you the Holocaust genre.

in a recent interview that she’s basically above playing a Jew and how she doesn’t want to do films where she’s seen as a sex object

I didn't see that in the actual interview at all. I didn't see her say she was "above" playing a Jew, just in "Holocaust movies", which are in danger of becoming an exploitation genre. (Ie: Instant Oscar)
And the sex thing, I saw as her response to the public reaction to "The Professional" and it spooked her into "going in a different direction", so that she would be the one in charge of her sexuality.

Verdict: not guilty.
And yummy.

"And the sex thing, I saw as her response to the public reaction to "The Professional" and it spooked her into "going in a different direction", so that she would be the one in charge of her sexuality."

Right into the far-from-jailbaity "Beautiful Girls" where she plays a....precocious teenager wise beyond her years. Yawn.

Tonight Pajibams...I am a sad panda

Jesus Christ people, I have time for only ONE Pajiba drive by before I have to go to actual WORK today and this is all I have to work with? Portman has a stick up her ass and Mario and his dimples may not be Dog Show material?
Look, that boy can Samba his sessy little Latin ass across my TV anytime, I hope he has a matching set of dimples on his ass cheeks to go along with the ones on his face.
Portman is a lovely girl, but why anyone listens to her speak is beyond me. She will hopefully grow up and develop a brain soon.

And Artie tried to STAB himself to death? With what, a 40" sword? Dude has a bigger protective layer of blubber than a Walrus. Cry. For. Help.

OK, my work here is done. Miss you much.

LindsEy, you rock my world

replica, I really want to take your side on this one. Portman is not deserving the kind of hate that Heigle deser, but the whole Polanski thing just isn't sitting with me. I married a girl who's a bit of a feminist, so I guess that whole old-man-raping-children-thing is just too much for me. In her defense, there's a lot of older, well respected artistic types on said list who aren't taking heat, she just happens to be one of the more famous women to have signed it. Why hasn't anyone shit on Whoopi Goldberg for her rapist support statement? And I quote here: "I know it wasn't rape-rape. I think it was something else." The fucker already plead guilty. If I said something like that on national T.V. I'd already have been stoned to death by a womens right group.

But I'd be safe in Hollywood.

OK, I'm back on forth on Ms. Portman, so I don't have a lot to say regarding this new quote of hers.

I can say that I hate diamond commercials pretty much across the board. The whole "buy her a diamond or she'll never love you" message they seem to sell makes me a touch stabby. Speaking of, I did have a favorite last year. Setting: a rustic house in the middle of a thunderstorm. At a powerful lightning flash, a woman shrinks like a frightened violet and clings to her boyfriend ('cause she's a woman, see). The man chuckles and says, "Don't worry, I'm right here!"

His smile vanishes and his voice drops an octave: "...and I always will be."

I was genuinely surprised when he brandished a diamond instead of a bloody meat cleaver.

That commercial never gets old.

Y'all, don't be too hard on Natalie Portman. She has a very serious condition. Foot in Mouth Disease affects one in three famous people, and Natalie has an especially bad form of the illness. I mean seriously, she signed a petition in support of a rapist and then compared eating meat to rape . Normal, healthy people don't say things that stupid and tone deaf. And there's currently no cure, so she's probably going to keep on saying stupid things for a long time. She can't help herself. We should be tolerant of her unique disability.

Portman annoys the fuck out of me, and it annoys me to see her on the Pajiba twitter page.

What about Godtopus, huh???? I bet He doesn't compare eating meat to rape. Then again, Portman defended a rapist, so does that mean she will defend meat eaters as well?

I'm confused.

@ dr. pisaster: "Y'all, don't be too hard on Natalie Portman. She has a very serious condition. Foot in Mouth Disease affects one in three famous people, and Natalie has an especially bad form of the illness."

You seem uniquely informed on the topic. Perhaps you can show me in the particular quote linked to in this particular post where Portman specifically puts her foot in her mouth?

Also, do tell, how amenable are you to reading comprehension classes? Perhaps the facility where you want to send Portman for treatment of your self-diagnosed illness offers something remedial for you.

This comments section has been mostly a lot of, "Hey, there's Natalie Portman's name. I can't be bothered to read what she says, but I bet a lot of people need to know how much I hate her."

Natalie Portman is getting on my last dick nerve, which considering my femininity is pretty hard to do. I used to love her, but now I just kinda want to punch her in the face. I think it started with her getting into Harvard (BTW I'm getting kind of sick of starlets getting to go to any Ivy League school they want). Then there was the whole "She's so smart, cause she went to Harvard" that the media started pushing, it started to grate on me. I was briefly won back to her side with her SNL rap and her performance in Closer, but over the last year I've had enough of her. First defending Polanski and then being a complete airhead-twit on Top Chef, and now this whole "I don't do nudity blah, blah, blah." I'm just completely over her. She not that smart, she's not that deep, and the internet has proof she's done nudity.

She is very pretty. I am not blind. I have no problem admitting that she is lovely to look at, but she now annoys the shit out of me.

Sorry that rant has been building for a good 2 years.

He stabbed himself 9 times, and he's not dead? Artie Lang, a fatass, pale, 40 year old white man who looks 62, is officially more gansta than 50 Cent.

Although, considering I hate 50 Cent, and pass up absolutely no opportunity to insult him, that says little.

Okay, this is from left field, but if I an not incongruous, I am simply not free, so here goes:

WESTMINSTER? AKC? FUCK ALL THE DOG SHOWS. Too goddamn many stray pups in this country and yet these uppity fucks actually think it's the shit to promote competitive breeding?!?!?! Fuck 'em all. And if Mario Lopez joining the deal only serves to make the whole thing an even bigger farce for the vacuous, blue-haired ninny crowd, then great. Let the whole thing burn to the ground in a toxic miasma of Chanel, patent leather and flea and tick shampoo.

Fuck breeders and fuck their self-congratulatory bullshit.

Yet more lies farted and shit out by the Pajiba staff, this time about Cormac McCarthy. I'd like an honest answer to this; do you fuckshits actually read the content of the shit you link to for Pajiba Love or just through some shit up there and write some failed lameo snark that you desperately hope will come off as cool/hip?

McCarthy said that he liked The Road.

End of story.

Yet you make it out that he took a shit in the screening room.

Pathetic and said, you're as a bad as the Republicans like Hannity, trying to twist reality to suit your own ends and story.

Well-said Johnnyboy. Amen.

Sure, I saw that movie. I read Pajiba, for crying out loud. (BTW, your laminated Pajiba membership card is in the mail. Congrats!) I don't doubt your strong feelings on the matter of diamonds' origins. That’s not really what I noticed about your first post, though. It was more a contradiction within that got me: You "aren't the least bit interested" in getting a ring from your bf, yet you'll willingly manipulate the situation in case he does want to participate in a cultural gesture to show his commitment to you.

Pardon me while I indulge in a little chortle at the added irony of your handle being "gem."

K, thanks... I'd better go now, before anyone else notices that there's a "cynic" posting on this website.

Ah refreshing and reading all the posts would be helpful I see.

Portman is kind of a dick.

She is attractive and can act, but she's just a knob.

Also, I'm not particularly sure that the "Polanski petition" and those that signed it are actually pro-"Roman Polanski's act", as they are anti-"using film festivals for for ulterior motives".

Kind of a shitty move considering the context, and they do blow smoke up his arse for his artistic ability, but not quite the same as being pro-molestation.

It is a subtle point, but if true, one that needs to be considered. It is always the nasty lose-lose situations that test a person's true fibre. If you really believed in such a point, defending a kiddy fiddler in honour of it must be a tough call.

Big 'if', peoples, so don't get your knickers in a twist (unless we're not talking metaphorically)