Pajiba

The engagement photos cracked me up. I need to take that pretentious photo with my boyfriend. The Twilight one is so spot on but I can't help but hope that it was unintentional.

I don't know. As far as I'm concerned, the only proper way to receive bullshit awards is to be totally loaded. So I say you go, Mariah!

Lucas was pretty damn funny in that interview. Specially when he made fun of how short Stewart is. Dammit, I want to hate him so badly...but can't.

And I still think casting Johnny Depp was a huge fucking mistake. He's just playing Willy Wonka with makeup that looks like something out of a shitty America's Next Top Model photoshoot. I am so tired of him.

So ScarJo's sexyface = retard. Good to know.

PETA has crossed the damn line by “appropriating” Michelle Obama’s likeness for their new ad campaign.

This is hilarious to me because this morning as I was driving to work, I heard about a billboard in Times Square that features a picture President Obama in some brand of outerwear that the outerwear co. appropriated without consent as well.

Every time I see Johnny Depp in that makeup, I just think it's Elijah Wood in drag.

They did a shitty job of photo-shopping the First Lady in that PETA ad. They weren't even trying.

I watched the People's Choice Awards for a while. Queen Latifah tried her best. It was lame. You could tell who would win because half the nominees weren't even there.

I did, however, want to beat the living shit out of Mariah Carey. One goofy acceptance is bad enough. She could barely keep her tits in that dress. Her little boy had to help her up to the podium. Fake ass heifer.

Looking at all of those engagement pictures leaves me with only one thing to say: Thank Godtopus I got married in Las Vegas and my family doesn't like me enough to make announcements in the paper!

Elfman is scoring the movie, tamatha. The Hoppus/Wentz song will supposedly end up on the soundtrack, or the requisite "inspired by" record.

OK, no one's checking out the enema thing? This is Pajiba, right? 'Cause there's advice in that blurb that I think many Pajibans could use: "always have a tube in your ass."

Words to live by, my friends.

If you’ve still got your Christmas tree up, are a nerd and have access to a large plot of land...

OH MY GOD I TOTALLY HAVE ALL THOSE THINGS!!! Tree Launch Party at my place! Anyone here who can do some differential calculus?

Thanks, Sean! I feel much better now.

Not to worry, Nadine, there's nothing near the bonfire pit but the barn, and that sucker is begging to be put out of its misery. Seriously, anyone remember that horrifying train where Laura Palmer was murdered in Twin Peaks? This is the barn version of that train. I fully expected to find dead bodies stashed everywhere, but all I discovered were a bunch of cracked toilets, and a lot of raccoon poop. If we can manage to set that abomination on fire by launching a flaming Christmas tree into it, I'll be the happiest woman alive.

DeadBessie, I'll get to work on wild calculations, overestimating how much of everything we need. If we're lucky, we'll get this thing on the moon.

Logar, she's my big sister

Don't I feel like a dirty bastard right now. You are not obligated, in that case, to elaborate on my #2 request.

logar, we like our bastards dirty around here.

Uh oh...Nieve is incoming

By the sound of it, you'll see her tits 2 minutes before the rest of her.

Uh......What?

I always thought tell a killer by their cleavage. An awesome rack makes it more likely that they'll kill, be it threads, Dustin' sexual fantasies or people like Carlos the Jackal.

Cue me attempting to come up with sales pitches for cleavage killers inc.

Tits, we're the tits.
Cleavage means competency.
Awesome rack, awesome guns, awesome gun racks.
Killing... it takes jugs... of courage.

Oh (Light, airy laugh) Jim of the lower case!
Killers based on cleavage size?
(Another slightly strained, light, airy laugh)
How funny! and Unbelievable
I mean seriously, bra size equalling sociopathy??

Nadine tell them Im completely normal with no murderous intent at all.
At. All.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH SHE'S HERE RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN!!!

Also, yeah the AiW music thing...that's a joke right?
I wont even click the link, I dont believe it

Its not bra size, its the whole package, that makes you blood thirsty. I didnt say you were murderous. In my head they're so spectacular that all your kills are outside of the queen's peace and totally legal. Or at least manslaughter.

Barabajagalla, there's a family by my BF's house that doesnt take their decorations down. EVER. At christmas they just plug them back in.

I would actually quite like to see fairy lights on all year round in some houses, depending on the house it can create a really beautiful thing to look at.

But this family are just lazy chavs.

Boxing Day isn't exactly that, it's generally held that it was a day when the 'less fortunate' would be given gifts, for example, churches would leave boxes outside their doors for people to leave offerings and gifts that would be handed out to the poor. Another tradition was that landed gentry would keep house staff on til the 26th, then send them home with boxes of food and gifts for their families...so it might not be as depressing a tradition as people are inclined to believe

Okay John Denvers Wingman. Um

Tits

Oh god, that "Twilight" engagement pic (intentional or not) is killing me. I wish we had done something like that. Well, maybe. All we did was take a photo of the two of us from a friend's wedding, crop it, shade it black & white (because black & white photo = klassy), and voila, instant engagement pic. No need to spend several hundred dollars on a session with a photographer.

Goddamn work, you filthy whore, you kept me out of the 'Nieve has enormous tits' thread.
ME!
NOT in a TITS thread.
WTF?
It is like my natural habitat.