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Pajiba Love 01/06/10 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Guess He Should Go Eat Worms

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | January 6, 2010 | Comments (41)

Adrian Grenier is in some stupid band that sounds like the poor man’s Weezer (before Weezer became the poor man’s Weezer) and he got heckled during a recent show in Atlantic City. Haw haw! (Screen Junkies)

Jennifer Lopez thinks that she should have won an Oscar for El Cantante, a movie that was so uncared about by the general public that even we didn’t bother reviewing it. (Litelysalted)

Here’s a six-pack of films made after the death of a prominent actor in the film. (PW)

Which union do you guys think is more destined for failure: (in the event that either actually make it to the altar) Katy Perry and Russell Brand or Marylin Manson and Evan Rachel Wood? (Agent Bedhead)

Oh my God, missed opportunity alert!!! In 1990 Peter Boyle starred in a sitcom about a police officer that gets reincarnated as a talking bulldog, but sadly it was never picked up. I would have watched the shit out of that. (Warming Glow)

Here are the eight actors who are the best at yelling. (Unreality)

The soundtrack for Youth in Revolt is out, which features the hipterific fare you’d expect. Although to be completely honest Beulah is still one of my favorite bands. (The Playlist)

Who read (and I mean “read” that in the loosest sense of the word) Where’s Waldo books as a kid — and do you remember all the nudity, transvestites and human sacrifice? (Topless Robot)

HOLY. CRAP. Tarzan, the Ape Man, which stars and was produced by Bo Derek, has a scene where a chimpanzee sucks on her nipple. You better believe this is NSFW. (FourFour)

Sandra Bullock’s The Blind Side has now passed the $200 million mark, catapulting it to be the first film driven solely by a female lead to accomplish that goal. Really though? Sandra Bullock? OK sure, why not. (Celebitchy)

Here are seven New Year’s movie-going resolutions. (Cinematical)

I know how y’all like your zombie stuff, so here is a short film called They Shall Pay With Rivers of Blood, directed by Candian filmmaker Buck Anderson. The zombies kind of remind me of that episode of “Twilight Zone” where that spoiled family had to wear the ugly masks and then when they took off their masks … Their faces really looked like that! I love that one.

They Shall Pay With Rivers of Blood from Buck Anderson on Vimeo.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Here are the eight actors who are the best at yelling.

I knew. I knew before I looked at the list that he would be missing. It's so simple.

BRIAN BLESSED.

Posted by: branded at January 6, 2010 12:26 PM

i keep trying to look at the peter boyle thing, but it keeps linking to the jlo article.

Posted by: gem at January 6, 2010 12:53 PM

Which union do you guys think is more destined for failure: (in the event that either actually make it to the altar) Katy Perry and Russell Brand or Marylin Manson and Evan Rachel Wood?

::headspike::

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 6, 2010 12:58 PM

La Lopez asked "How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?" Deja vu, hon-- Judy Garland played that hospital-bed scene and watched Grace Kelly win for "The Country Girl".

Posted by: EllenP at January 6, 2010 1:01 PM

Ummm, the Bo Derek clip is a little disturbing. (Unless of course you're into bestiality which would make it quite arousing.) Did I just type that...ewwww, I'm creepy.

Posted by: Jadine at January 6, 2010 1:13 PM

I'm still amazed that a movie I know NOTHING about (other than it stars Sandra Bullock and has some kind of sport thing) is making all that money. How!

Also I think George's mom from Seinfeld is one hell of an awesome screamer. I love her.

Oooh and yes, BRIAN BLESSED.

Posted by: figgy at January 6, 2010 1:18 PM

Easily the best part about Where's Waldo? is looking at all the fucked up things that the artist drew in every scene. It was seriously bizarre, like something out of Bosch.

Posted by: figgy at January 6, 2010 1:20 PM

No-one is better at yelling than Peter Capaldi from The Thick Of It/In The Loop. But then again, maybe he's not famous enough outside of the UK (or in it for that matter)

Case and point www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5jr33wiVZQ& (NSFW)

Posted by: Temet Nosce at January 6, 2010 1:23 PM

Uh...just watched all of that "rivers of blood" thing. I involuntarily chuckled at the end.

Posted by: Christopher at January 6, 2010 1:30 PM

Ooooooo, fun fact: When I was young, we used to go to this dentist's office, and on the roof above the chair there was this big fucking Where's Waldo mural. It featured an Arabian city with a bunch of towers with those little turnip looking things on top. In the center of this monstrosity were a pair of towers and Waldo flying a carpet into one of them.

Yeah. I spent many-a dentist appoint staring up and wondering why the fuck they never changed it. For those of you wondering where was Waldo? Sensitivity training, apparently.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at January 6, 2010 1:43 PM

Tom Hanks may not get widespread recognition, but he definitely honed his yelling skills early in his career. I don't think he used an inside voice for the duration of Turner and Hootch.

Posted by: lizella at January 6, 2010 1:49 PM

Because she's got a GREAT ASS! Viva Pacino

Brian Blessed is nice but for an Olympian addition, I submit the one and only Peter O'Toole.

Ray Romano is hilarious when he yells; simultaneously raging and ineffectual. Such fun. Does anybody else enjoy Men of a Certain Age? Mr. Supercomfy and I are loving it. We are of a Certain Age as well and no one of any age can ever have too much Andre Braugher.


Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at January 6, 2010 1:49 PM

I mean Hooch. Maybe Hootch was involved.

Posted by: lizella at January 6, 2010 1:52 PM

If you get your perky tits out in the presence of a chimp, expect a little suckn'. Same goes for Russell Brand. Except I don't think he would 1) Stop with just the tits. 2) have the good graces to look as embarrassed as the chimp did.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 6, 2010 1:54 PM

Are you complaining that Russell Brand wouldn't stop at the tits? And that chimp was rockin' it, why should he/she be embarrassed? I'd give it...wait for it...wait for it...a 10!

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 6, 2010 2:01 PM

LindsEy, are you complaining that Russell Brand "wouldn't stop at the tits"? From what i gather from the fairer sex, not enough men travel south of Tittietown. And that primate was gettin' down, why should he/she be embarrassed?

I'd give it...wait for it...wait for it...a 10!

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 6, 2010 2:05 PM

Sorry for the double post, my new work computer is sucking hard cock.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 6, 2010 2:05 PM

J-Lo is not even remotely self-aware, is she?

(Yeah, hubby says I have a habit of stating the glaringly obvious.)

Posted by: lainiefig at January 6, 2010 2:10 PM

I will never understand the nerve of asshat actors who get all pissy because they think they should have won an Oscar and didn't. News flash, honey--EVERYONE thinks they should have won. But most people have the intelligence not to say it out loud.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit I have never seen Pulp Fiction but it's on my queue now, based solely on that scene with Jackson.

Posted by: DeadBessie at January 6, 2010 2:11 PM

HAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE A TOOL GRENIER!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at January 6, 2010 2:28 PM

JDW: I was not complaining. Merely a presumption based on my extensive research on Russell Brand. But in the circumstance of a random unsolicited tit suckling, I believe that Cheetah there demonstrated more restraint and decorum than our irreverent Mr.Brand would. And with fewer hair care products.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 6, 2010 2:29 PM

When I was a kid my dad sang 'I think I'll go and eat worms' whenever he wanted his own way. I honestly thought he had made it up so it was a mahooosive shock when I found out it was a sort of, hugely popular, very well known song. For a while there I thought my dad was a very talented, yet twisted and demented lyrical genius.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 6, 2010 2:53 PM

Aren't chimps ripping people's faces off these days? Under no circumstances should a Grade A piece of yowza put her goodies anywhere near those crazy fucks. However, Miss Derek is the first lady I remember seeing riding a horse bareback and fully nude. She basically invented the Sybian, though I'm sure Ancient Roman ladies were exploring that little secret all over the Italian countryside back in the day.

Posted by: Kballs at January 6, 2010 3:00 PM

That monkey should have gotten an Oscar for best Tittie Suck Sneak.

Posted by: Odnon at January 6, 2010 3:26 PM

The only Wally book (YES I CALL IT WALLY SUE ME AMERICA SUE ME) I had was Where's Wally? so every weird thing in that is completely familiar to me. I agree with figs - They had to make searching for him entertaining for us, or else why bother?

Posted by: dene at January 6, 2010 3:28 PM

Yeah, I wouldn't go near a chimp with anything sticking out that I didn't want torn right off. Those fuckers are crazy strong.

Speaking as someone who rides horses for multiple hours every damn day, I can tell you: it ain't no Sybian. And naked Bareback? You'd get hair and sweat in places you REALLY don't want hair and sweat. FOREIGN hair and sweat. From HORSES. I hate to piss on your spank bank fantasy, but reality bites.

And BTW: Thanks Kballs. Saw your PAD comment. Made my day.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 6, 2010 3:58 PM

NTTKQ: I thought my EX was HILARIOUS and witty until we started watching all the same TV shows. Turns out Jerry Seinfeld and Homer Simpson were the funny ones.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 6, 2010 4:19 PM

Oops, sorry about the Warming Glow link guys -- and the fact that I've been offline all afternoon. All better now.

Posted by: Stacey at January 6, 2010 4:39 PM

It makes me wonder how much of my childhood was a lie!...actually I should stop wondering that because when I was 14 I found out that my mum had mixed up mine and Nadines birthdays for 12 years (Nadine is 2 years younger than me) my mother was.....nonplussed to say the least. But the crazy thing is before Nadine was born I celebrated 2 birthdays on the right date!!
Then 12 years later when the final sibling celebrating his first birthday she had to ask the neighbours if they remembered what date she went into labour and if the labour went past 12am so she could figure out the date. We had missed it by a week. Birthdays are not majorly important in our household.

Ah LWAE lying boyfriends stealing tv jokes! I hope you kicked him right in his funny bon(er)

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 6, 2010 5:30 PM

Those Where's Waldo pictures just messed me up. I can't believe I never noticed that shit before! I need to go to the library and flip through a few Waldo books and see it for myself. Those scans seem like something from Cracked and my inner child is not convinced.

Posted by: stardust at January 6, 2010 5:49 PM

John Malkovich should totally be on that actor yelling list.

Posted by: Slash at January 6, 2010 6:14 PM

Is that what passes for hot in Canada?

Posted by: superasente at January 6, 2010 7:37 PM

Who's Brian Blessed?

I have heard of only two of the bands on that Youth in Revolt soundtrack (not counting Michael Cera). I hate PBR, and I don't own any tight black pants or skinny scarves. Yay, I'm not a hipster!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 6, 2010 7:41 PM

So when can we expect to see that review of "El Cantante" to be posted?


Posted by: greer at January 6, 2010 8:08 PM

Mel, you know what really gets my panties in a wad over Youth in Revolt? It's not the stupid trailer or the hipster soundtrack - it's Rebel Rebel being played in the trailer. How dare they use a Bowie song to promote that shit movie! Grrr.

Posted by: stardust at January 6, 2010 8:45 PM

That movie'll never be able to live up to that song, stardust.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 6, 2010 9:56 PM

Yay, Beulah! I don't think I'll ever get over them breaking up.

Posted by: icecreammang at January 6, 2010 10:43 PM

NTTKQ: Worse, I married him. It didn't end well.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 6, 2010 11:33 PM

I saw El Cantante and the only thing it had going for it was the soundtrack. Marc Anthony sang the hell out of Hector Lavoe's songs.

Posted by: Turtle at January 7, 2010 2:31 AM

the hell? I just tried watching the Grenier video, but there wasn't one, and instead I got sucked into this shame vortex watching:

http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/12-terrible-celebrity-bands

and now I'm going to have to lobotomize myself because it's the only way to completely remove from my head the knowledge I'm now cursed with, which is that Steven Seagal's music is much better than Corey Feldman's music.

Posted by: Johnnyboy at January 7, 2010 10:32 PM

The Zombie movie was awesome, I love it when nerds get off there fat asses and make a movie we all want to see.
The chicks ass was a little big, but I'd get up in it.

Posted by: theJOker at March 1, 2010 8:03 PM





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