Pajiba

Regarding the women orgasming during childbirth ickyness...

There was something on the moving picture-tube this past weekend about that. I'm all for natural childbirth, drug-riddled childbirth, squirting one out in an inflatable pool, crowning in the back seat of a cab, deep-frying the placenta with a side of coleslaw, whatever. But doesn't it seem a little weird that the woman/mother would occasionally see her child and be reminded of her mind-blowing 'gasm? Or that the guy/father would always have a little black ball of jealousy tucked away in his psyche, seeing the child as something that got his wife weak in the knees?

Goddam hippies anyhow.

Head is a sorta-kinda famous movie in certain circles. It's the film that ruined the Monkees' career; and according to the lore, they did it that way on purpose. I saw it many long years ago but don't remember much about it except it's...very 60's is the best way I can put it.

Hey--it's available on DVD! And check out the list of "members also enjoyed" films.

I hope our Salty Cockmaster's pet is doing ok I had a doggie emergency less than a week ago as well.

/scary

Horny alcoholic midgets? And a picture of Kelly Brook in a bikini with her legs spread? God how I hope there's no correlation between these two things, because I currently consider Kelly to be one of the shining Goddesses of the world. And Kate's on that list as well (the list is actually longer than it needs to be). Unless either of them end up becoming Scientologist. That is the deal breaker for sure.

If I remember correctly, Randy Scouse Git is on Headquarters and predates Head.

And, again, if I remember correctly, Jack Nicholson wrote the screenplay for Head.

the being known as wondergirl is speaking I believe
it's not easy trying to tell her that I shortly have to leave

Mike R.

I'm quite a fan of Spielberg overall, but to me he has a tendency to add unnecessary maudlin sentimental ending scenes to most films, and it ruins them for me (especially Band of Brothers, why on earth did we need the graveyard scene????)

Hmmm, as much as I loved The Descent, the sequel looks like it won't offer much more than the first one. I mean, yeah, she is a crazy bitch now, but where does that leave us? Did all that crazy ass shit happen in the cave, or did she imagine it all and go crazy because her family was dead and she blamed the closet lesbian for fucking her man?

That was some scary ass shit though. I will see it just for the adrenaline rush. Caves freak me out. And I live in Appalachia and have seen actual inbreds. They are not that far off from the "crawlers." GAH.

Love to your pup-a-roo, Stace!

How can I use the sentence "Look at this cock. And what do you think of it?" before the end of the day?

Posted by: courtney 2

Oh, dear. Here we go:

First, the obvious use. Pull somebody's pants down while somebody else is watching and ask the question.

Second, go to an underground cock fight. Focus on the one owned by a man. Ask the question to the person sitting next to you.

Third, persuade a male friend to get "C.O.C.K." tattooed on his stomach, and make sure there is a drawing of a woman Cooking On Colorful Kitchens underneath it. Then ask the question to the tattoo artist.

Fourth, try to find a person who confuses hearing and sight and who is unable to understand the termination "ney", and make sure he or she meets a man with a bad cockney accent. Then ask the question.

Fifth, find a Pajibette and go ANYWHERE you can find a man. Then ask the question.

And if you do go to an underground cock fight, then I arbitrarily without checking with anyone declare you banned from Pajiba for life because that shit is just not funny or entertaining. Yes, it's true: I have no sense of humor when it comes to species abuse.

I'm agreeing with AM on that one. Ms "Death-Dealer" is looking like death.

Okay, I'll have to bow down to AM and Bslim on the Kate thing, those are some lame pix. But I don't let one or two bad pictures ruin the overall effect. If that was the case, no celeb on the planet would remain appealing for more than a year. Because let's be clear, the only great pictures involve a lot of professional photographers, makeup artists, lighting people and airbrush artists (and I'm guessing these bad pictures involved all that). The "real" pictures rarely stand up to the make believe ones. Especially if the staged pictures involve someone like Kate in skintight leather holding weapons.

That's all.

An orgasm during childbirth is VERY different--I would imagine--than associating sexual feelings with your child. But Freud would say that was normal. Which is a good thing, according my Uncle Larry. But I would trust him; before we started dating he was a pedophile.

Don't trust pedophiles, kids. They always fuck you in the end.

There are so many things I could do with that sentence that I don't know where to start. And now that I know that you have actual inbreds roaming the neighborhood, boo honey, I'm probably never going to come see your shiny new house.

Love to the pooch, Staceface!

I love this place because by the time I've read all the comments I no longer have any idea what the thread was about.

Good luck to Stacey, I hate pet emergencies. I had two in 2008 and that was two too many.

By the way, I'm commenting on pajiba in between balancing a microwave lasagna in my lap and trying to eat it, balancing the laptop on my lap, and sitting across from my boss trying to take dictation from her for revisions. What we're working on isn't the least bit funny, so when I sneak a peek here and start snickering despite myself, it's hard to explain. Very hard. But she already thinks I'm super weird, so she accepts my explanation about voices in my head making me laugh.

I find one of the truest measures of a person is for me to describe getting an MRI for our 16 year old dog whose back legs had gradually but completely ceased functioning, and how there was nothing that could be done about the degenerative damage to her brain but to put diapers on her, telecommute for a year so that I could carry her to the bathroom and clean her up, and build a wheelchair out of PVC pipe and carpet so that she could still sort of get around. And then there was the laying half the night every night on the floor with her until she finally settled down because once the lights went out she would try to wriggle around the room and end up with all her weight on her head choking and gasping for air or manage to push herself into the waterdish. Our house has two stories, and so we carried her up and down for the last two years of her life. And of course she had to take a dozen pills each day for her brain,arthritis, heart and pain.

And anyone, anyone, who responds to any of this with a sentence containing the phrase "just a dog" is forever on the secret list.

It looks like Todd is still at IDLYITW, but there's someone named Dave I've never seen before. Maybe Todd and Jenny just had a parting of the ways.

Stipe42, I know exactly where you are coming from. Last summer one of my cats got very ill, and had to have a feeding tube put in. This also meant that I had to haul her back and forth to work with me for a couple of months so that I could keep her on a feeding schedule. You would not believe the horrible things that some of the people that I work with said. "You want me to take her out back and hit her in the head with a shovel? It would be cheaper." I work with a bunch of rednecks, so it's not all that surprising, but still I found it more than a little tacky. Now my kitty is happy, healthy, and back to driving me slowly insane, and the assholes that I work with can all Fuck Off!

Miss_E Do you work with Dwight Schrute? Keep him AWAY from your cats!!!

(Glad your kitty is better!)

AB - Similar to Dwight, only fewer button up shirts, more chewing tobacco.

like Kate in skintight leather holding weapons

Those pants are rubber. See? Everything's fakey fake fake with her.

Thanks, stipe42 and AB for making me tear up and then go kiss my dog's nose. Yeah, he's a diabetic pain in the ass, but he's my buddy. Except when he's eating out of the trash can, in which case he's "you stupid son of a bitch you're going to get pancreatitis!" Our older dog had a stroke over three years ago and putting her down was the hardest damn thing I've ever done. People who say "It's just a dog" are morons, bless their hearts.

Oh, and AB, I do hang out at Celebitchy. It's my favorite gossip site.

Yes! admin! I totally already have a bright purple wig! Finally, an excuse to wear it...

And Sofia, I kind of like the idea of pulling down someone's pants and asking them about their own cock. Sort of an existential perversion.

Posted by: stipe42 at January 6, 2009 1:48 PM

Having gone trough something similar, my heart goes out to you.
I now consider you one of my people.

Stipe42. I feel your pain... last August... we lost our 14 year old dog Hailey in a very similar fashion... it was 24 hour constant care... for almost 2 years... she couldn't walk the the last year of her life and just thinking about her makes me cry... and now I can't finish this post...

you're good people... that's what I meant... all of you... who love your pets... good people...

OMG Snath stop making me cry at WORK. First I was hooting like a banshee at the stuff I was reading here, garnering dirty looks, now I'm getting a big ol' cry ball in my throat.

Way to go Davis and way to go to his family. I love that dog and I've never seen him.

Stacey better come back here and let us know everything's ok or we're gonna tell every goddamned sad doggie and kitty story ever known by man.

Jesus, Snath, I'm sobbing over here. My dog is looking at me like "What the fuck? Did someone jab YOU with a syringe full of insulin?"

Davis is awesome. Give that guy a belly rub, and call your mother right now and tell her you love her. I hope the occupants of the little red car die in a fire.

Tammers, I'm sorry about Hailey.

Let me add another shout out for celebitchy! And frankly, I thought IDLYITHW was too bitchy (and I say that as a loyal Pajibian)

Here's a picture of Davis, if anyone is interested.

Awww, he is too cute! I love big puppy eyes, I can't resist.

I am totally feeling the glowing demon eyes in that picture snath. My wife and kids want a dog (and are backmailing/bribing the shit out of me) but god damn I hope I never have to experience anything close to your stories.

I have my eye on a ShitzPug at the Humane Society. We shall see.

Davis is awesome. I want to curl up with him with a book and a blanket. Don't tell my dog.

Thanks for the update, TK. We might be scathing and bitchy, but we love animals.

I would like to know what happened to Jenny at IDLYITW as well. Todd doesn't make me laugh, and Jenny hasn't posted a snarky post in ages. I'm going to miss her stuff! My favorite of hers is: http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/07/chevy-chase-is-funny-guy.html It cracks me up every time.

um KF... I think that 2 years comment was directed at me... so I'll try and answer you... Hailey was a PART OF MY FAMILY... we AGONIZED everyday that we saw her in pain if we should put her down or not... my sister/mother/father/husband had SCREAMING/CRYING/SWEARING/BLOW-UP/IN-YOUR-FACE FIGHTS over it... every DAY we struggled with what was right and what we wanted... and what was best for HER and what was best for US... the pain of keeping her alive vs the PAIN of letting her go... my sister felt that killing her and ending her pain when she still had the will to live would be MORE cruel than letting her LOVING family care for and medicate her... that dog... even though she was more than that to us... had better care than a lot of people towards the end of their lives... so it offends me to my CORE when you say that we were CRUEL or egotistical in the way we acted...

The vet told us... the time to put her down... when you KNOW it's "time" is when they don't show any "spark" anymore... when they can't show you any enthusiasm for food or play... but even until her dying day... the poor thing couldn't walk... but she still could bark for her favorite treat... so... you don't KNOW my situation or the pain of having to talk about it now.... but we just couldn't end her life when she seemed to want to stay with us...