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One Very Sad News Item and Several Attempts to Make You Forget It

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | June 5, 2013 | Comments ()


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Let's start with the incredibly sad news of the day so we can only get better. Paris Jackson, who is 15 years old, was rushed to the hospital this morning. Let's send good vibes to a young girl who's life thus far could most generously be described as challenging at best. (Dlisted)

I don't know how to segue away from that. Here's Robb Stark riding the tube. Alive even! But looking sad. Probably because his girlfriend isn't with him, which would make me sad, too (and will do until November, sniffles). (Buzzfeed)

A) Posh and Becks's eldest is, like, a small adult which makes me feel old. B) Posh will never not be a human sex robot of a person. (Go Fug Yourself)

So, the chorus of "Macarena" translated is "give happiness to your body, Macarena" which is one of the top seven grossest things two old men in suits can say to a woman. (Mental Floss)

Guys. Dustin is officially down the rabbit hole on this Megan Draper thing. Basically he's moments away from Matthew Weiner making him disappear under mysterious circumstances. Don't do it, Weiner! He's got kids! (Warming Glow)

Kanye West won't be joining Kim Kardashian in the delivery room because he's "squeamish." It's almost like these two might not be the most selfless people in the world or something. (Celebitchy)

Quick. On the count of three, say the one thing you've always wanted to see. One...two...three. BUZZ ALDRIN AND THOMAS DOLBY PERFORMING "SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE" TOGETHER. (YouTube via Videogum)



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • So, the chorus of “Macarena” translated is “give happiness to your body, Macarena

    Not only that, but it goes on to say "That your body is for giving it happiness and good things". And by good things they mean penis.

  • e jerry powell

    Always. It's a man thing.

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Robb Stark looks glum because that's how you're supposed to look on the tube, otherwise you don't get to ride. Cheerful tourists are given the death stare by Londoners until they learn to fucking put a lid on it.

  • ugh

    I have been avoiding Game of Thrones spoilers because I have yet to watch the last few eps. Thanks, Courtney!

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Yeah, that was pretty careless.

  • e jerry powell

    Squeamish about watching a baby come out of a vagina. He had no problem putting it in there, so he should sack up and deal with it.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Oh, she is going to have a C-Section for sure. That baby will be on her schedule. They need to plan the whole production. The location, lighting, dialogue... And if Kanye changes his mind he can always watch the birth on a repeat showing on "E".

  • disqus_mQPW6cixfl

    K-section.

    FTFY

  • e jerry powell

    Well-played.

  • e jerry powell

    But she might want to make another sex tape at some point. Won't the scar be a distraction?

  • L.O.V.E.

    What scar? She will have a plastic surgeon on hand to minimize the scarring. Then when its time to film the sex tape she will have her make-up artist cover any scarring left, the director will use lighting and shadows, and then there's the post-production work. It will all look very "homemade", I'm sure.

  • e jerry powell

    And meanwhile, Kris will be sitting home alone, feeling useless, and rightfully so, because Bruce will still be in New York, vainly flogging his forehead as if it were ever alive.

  • Wembley

    It does avoid the inevitable 'Yo Kim, I’m really happy for you…I’ll let you finish. But Beyonce had one of the best deliveries of all time! One of the best deliveries of all time!' awkwardness.

  • e jerry powell

    I'll give you that.

    And of course, Kanye is so tight with Jay-Z that he was able to get past all the security for B's baby-movie.

  • simplysarah

    That poor girl has been through more in her short life than most of us
    can even imagine. It’s not like she asked to be “famous” or even seeks
    fame like other celebrity children. I hope she gets help and finds a way
    to deal with everything life has thrown at her.

    Random, she has insanely beautiful eyes.

  • e jerry powell

    In that photo she looks a little like Jodie Foster in her child star days.

  • NateMan

    What makes you think Kim Kardashian will be in the delivery room? Doesn't she have an assistant to squirt out that unholy offspring for her?

  • Rodrigo Spotorno

    Does Robb date Winnie Cooper?

  • Tinkerville

    Nothing to really say except I truly hope she gets the help she deserves. I dealt with similar issues at her age and I didn't even have to deal with the Jackson family; I can't imagine what she has to contend with on a daily basis.

  • Tinkerville

    Oh, fuck it. I just heard Stephen Fry talking about his suicide attempt last year, which he just decided to open up about.

    Since just reading about it online can be triggering, for anyone who might need it, whether it's for a friend or yourself, 1-800-SUICIDE is a hotline that can help if you don't have any other options, as well as 1-800-273-TALK. Sorry to take PL to this place today, but it's a hot button issue for me.

  • Adrien

    She seems like a happy and normal teen on twitter. Then I saw this sad photo.

    http://ll-media.tmz.com/2013/0...

    Kid needs all the help. Stephen Fry said he had no reason for attempting to kill himself last year. He's a very smart guy yet he lost control. Imagine the things a teenager like Paris has to contend with on a daily basis.

  • e jerry powell

    I can't make anything light about that, having spent my fair share of time on suicide watch at the psych hospital myself.

  • meh

    A phrase oft heard around my house:

    "Don't do it, Weiner!"

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