Oh, Timothy Olyphant, If I Were Running The World You'd Be Able To Buy And Sell The Likes Of Ashton Kutcher
Did I crop that header photo in a strange and discomforting way? Or did I crop it to maximize the amount of time you get to spend with Timothy Olyphant's piercing gaze? You decide. More on Tim later.
If you aren't British or an American with questionable morals, then you haven't watched Season 3 of "Downton Abbey" yet. But, just FYI, there's a whole lot of prison plot. It's not exactly "Oz"-type material, but still. So you might want to brush up on these great prison slang terms. I plan to work "Wolf Tickets" into my conversation today. Just to give the impression that I'm, like, "hard." (Mental Floss)
I ain't hard, of course. I'm all soft and sweet and girl-like. And, as you well know, girls are exempt from ordinary, human bodily functions. To wit this facebook post...
...and this magnificent response.
"Newsweek" has announced their plans to end their print run and focus entirely on a digital edition. Crap, where will I get hit-bait-y covers now? Oh, "Time" is still in print? We're good then. (Gothamist)
Check out this kickass librarian tattoo. No typos here. Also? I'd like to marry this woman (Cheezburger)
Oh, wait, no, I want to marry this woman. Someone knows how to do Halloween right. (Boing Boing)
Speaking of white washing, check out Kirsten Dunst and Viggo Mortenson in crisp, light costumes on-set of a new film based in a Patricia Highsmith novel. (T&L)
Get excited, costume nerds, last time we saw a great adaptation of a Highsmith novel it was period costume porn galore. Er, like this. This is a good example, right?
Speaking of costuming, can you identify all these famous movie shirts? Sure you can. (Fibers)
Oh man, this poor sap got nabbed for a DUI after attending a superhero-themed wedding. I'm sure the mugshot could be worse, but I'm having trouble thinking how. (BioTV)
Dustin scoffs at the "Forbes" list of highest paid (TV?) actors, and creates his own MUCH better list instead. Me? I'd give Tim Olyphant every penny in my account just for the way he leans. Dustin, however, based his list on talent. Go figure. (WG)
Some splodey minded photographer took several portraits of objects he done blowed up. It looks pretty great. But why are so many of those things filled with jam? (Laughing Squid)
Bierce_Ambrose, one of our token, ah, non-liberals, sent me this great XKCD comic on electoral precedence. Totally safe for all parties to enjoy. (XKCD)
And Twitter has blocked a Neo-Nazi group in Germany, effectively flexing their newly (newishly) declared plan to restrict with discretion. Totally okay because everyone hates Nazis? Or then end of the free-loving Twitter era? (TechCrunch)
Speaking of ze Germans, Tommy, check out this particular teutonic brain trust.
And, finally, I've not seen it elsewhere on the site so, for your enjoyment, Joel McHale and The Dean (aka Jim Rash's leg) dance the tango. Is very Mr. And Mrs. Smith, no?
Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)
Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)
Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his
Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)