Oh, Sh*t, They Tarred and Feathered Jennifer Lawrence!

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Oh, Sh*t, They Tarred and Feathered Jennifer Lawrence!

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | September 15, 2012 | Comments ()

Thumbnail image for jennifer-lawrence-w-magazine-06.jpeg

If you've read the "Hunger Games" books, you know the "Mockingjay" or "bird motif" is pretty strong with this one. But there's a thin line between "artful avian" (see: above) and "we stuck some limp and scraggly looking feathers on Jennifer Lawrence's head...because it's ART, that's why." Anyway, this photoshoot runs the gamut but at least it's classier than the ones where she looks like she tripped into a vat of oil. Best of all, there's finally something for hornithologists to drool over. Enjoy! (Celebitchy)

Listen, I love all of you, I do. But the minute you buy this bespoke, exorbitantly expensive wooden keyboard, we're through. THROUGH. (Colossal)

Did you know that James Cameron almost directed Jurassic Park? In the words of Claire Danes "My only love sprung from my only hate!" Come to think of it, 1993 Cameron wasn't all that bad. Jurassic Park would have been the meat in a True Lies and T2 sandwich and Cameron was still four years off from that bloated iceberg movie. (Den of Geek)

Former "Doctor Who" showrunner Russell T. Davies is unleashing a new sci-fi franchise on us with, uh, I sh*t you not, "Wizards vs. Aliens." Only marginally better than Dinos on a Spaceship, Russ. (Bleeding Cool)

And because sometimes it's the worst, Google has ruined 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon with a cheating cheat-y search engine for dirty cheaters. Hats off to Film School Rejects, though, for finding someone who was 4 links away from Bacon. Last night I couldn't get any higher than 2...and I was plugging in super dead silent film stars. (FSR)

In case you were wondering, here's the difference between an iPhone 5 and an iPhone 4s. Def. worth your money. (BioTV)

Ben Affleck goes ahead and blames his past on J. Lo. and compares himself to Barack Obama. At least that's how I read it. Kevin Bacon flavored kisses for my Ben! (Celebitchy)

NPH recaps the plot of all 7 (seven!!) seasons of "How I Met Your Mother" in less than a minute. (EW)

Dustin breaks down the reasons why you should look forward to Season 3 of "Boardwalk Empire." Fewer boobs? Really, Dustin? (WG)

Disney announced that they will now be serving adult beverages. Disney, I think you mean "We will now be serving adult beverages that didn't come out of your hip flask, Joanna." (Disney Blog)

Because I am all about fetishizing book ladies, here are ten awesome lady librarians and their kickass tattoos. You don't f*ck around with a chick who has a Dewey decimal number on her body. (Mental Floss)

If ladies with tattoos ain't your thang, maybe dudes with mohawks are. Check out this, the world's tallest 'hawk. Get that guy an iPhone 5. (Metro)

Finally: two skaters, one board. I would love love love to see the outtakes from this video.

Joanna Robinson does have a literary tattoo but she cannot skate more than one block without falling over.

The Weekly Caption Contest September 14, 2012 | In Unusual Twist, "SNL's" Political Skits Were Great Last Night; It Was the Rest of the Show That Sucked

Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Strand

    Disneyland just started serving booze? I know I've gotten expensively drunk in Disneyland's tiki bar so what gives!

  • elenaran

    google's bacon number thing isn't very good. Check out http://oracleofbacon.org - Bieber is only a bacon number 2 according to them.

  • Don Juan de Markup

    When it comes to hornythology I'm going to have to vote for well oiled ladies almost falling out of dresses over dead bird feathers every time.

    <img src="http://www.pajiba.com/assets_c...">

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    This is true. Sure, it's all very common, but that doesn't make the well-oiled lady any less stunning.

  • SabrinaHatesDisqus

    Best of all, there’s finally something for hornithologists to drool over.

    In American English, the h is silent.

  • John G.

    I was on that bacon number thing all night long, and I never got higher than a 3.

    Although, to be fair, when it's someone that doesn't work at all, they just give you nothing. Like, I chose the actress who will be playing Michone in the next season of Walking Dead and it just pretended like It didn't have a Bacon Number Game.

  • damnitjanet

    My Bacon number is 3. For true and serious. I was an extra in "Hoosiers", which starred Dennis Hopper. Dennis Hopper was in "True Romance" with Chris Penn. Chris Penn was in the dancing movie with Kevin Bacon.

    I will now accept your adoration.

  • anatomycoloringbook

    I'm actually one degree from Kevin Bacon. I can't really go into it but I knew the woman who played Kevin Bacon's love interest in Tremors. I love playing this game because I usually win.

  • linnyloo

    The closest I can get is 3 too. My father acted with John Malkovich in college, and Malkovich was in 'Queen's Logic' with Bacon.

  • googergieger

    I'm eating bacon. So, I think we can see who the winner is here...

  • alwaysanswerb

    Ooooooh. Mockingjay. That's where the bird thing comes from. I was wondering if they had forgotten who was in Black Swan.

  • Devlin

    Jennifer Lawrence looks lovely...I love this photoshoot. Beautiful and ethereal. the black and white photos do remind me of Audrey Hepburn. Wow, simply lovely. I can't wait for The Silver Linings Playbook because Lawrence is receiving rave reviews and the critics are saying she steals the show.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'm loving those JLaw photos - they're very elegant.

    And Dustin should approve - not a boobtacular photo spread.

  • Kate at June

    Jennifer Lawrence looks amazing in that spread. I wouldn't have thought that the queen of goofy down to earth faces could look so otherworldly and ethereal.

  • TenaciousJP

    If you think $160 is expensive for a keyboard, then you have never heard of the Optimus Maximus.

  • Clearly I am a pedestrian Philistine, since I have yet to see one of those W shoots that make their subjects look better than practically any other shoot the subjects have done, or indeed will ever do.

    That keyboard is beautiful. Rediculously overpriced, but still.

    Also, I myself am 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon. Which of course means with that and $4.25 I can get coffee at Starbuxxx.

  • Cree83

    Woah, she looks like Leslie Caron in that picture!

  • mairimba

    I blame Jennifer López for everything.

  • SugarSmak

    I live about 2 hours from Walt Disney World and people down here are losing their minds (not in a good way) about this alcohol in the Magic Kingdom thing. It's only in one restaurant (and, judging by the menu, the price is going to keep the serious drinkers away). Besides, everybody knows that we "professional drinkers" go to EPCOT (especially since security now won't let us bring in our "water" and "apple juice" bottles into the park!)

  • mb

    Really? I live 35 minutes from WDW and not a single person around here knows a damn thing about this new restaurant, OR the fact that alcohol will be served in MK. If they did, they might actually express interest in going! I'm a passholder and go religiously, but I've only been down here a few years. All the true 'natives' that I work with have nothing but either contempt or total disinterest for Disney.

  • Dominic

    They've got alcohol in Downtown Disney - two bar/restaurants and a bar in the AMC Theatre right in front after u buy ur ticket

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Right? I actually left the Magic Kingdom and hopped the tram to EPCOT to get a beer (and many other such libations) to avoid murdering everybody. I can't believe Disney hasn't figured out that there'd be fewer murders by Canadians if you'd just let us have a beer, eh.

  • Salieri2

    My hand to Jesus, I once found a bar in Disneyworld, somewhere. Still don't know how this happened and can't remember where, not even which park. All I know is: it was hot, I was alone, I was hungry, I had a cartoonish park map in my hand. A little map square indicated a restaurant in a building where clearly none existed, signage-wise. No big doors, stupid name, anything. I got annoyed at the map--I hate it when printed materials lie to me--so I lapped the building. Nada. But there was a door and uncharacteristically I went through it (I am shy and rules-oriented but also stubborn.)

    So through this sketchy-looking side door was a flight of unusually dusty and boring, non-Walt-approved stairs*; found myself in an honest-to-God bar, with a couple of nondescript middle-aged guys nursing 2 pm drinks. They didn't seem to be tourists. Quiet, no music, lit by mostly sunlight through the windows, a few bar lights, didn't seem open, even. My memory may be lying to me when it says it was on a second floor overlooking an atrium of stored park attractions--but the feeling of spookiness is still with me over a decade later. Was the building being renovated? Had I found a Secret Employee Bar? I'd been looking for a burger, and instead found the Neverwhere Cheers.

    So I asked if "they" were...open? and Norm and Cliff looked at each other, and then at me, and kind of shrugged yes, and I felt someone was committing a serious faux pas here but I couldn't tell you which of us it was. A bartender-lookin' guy** drifted out, also surprised to see me, and I successfully ordered, paid for, and drank, a beer. Kind of quickly because I was a little freaked out (but profoundly grateful for the beer nonetheless.) And then I left the same way I'd come.

    I'm not making any of this up. I still don't know WTF. And all I can remember about the locale is that the gift shop nearest the real-it-was-real-goddammit-bar was selling Mulan merchandise at the time, which jives, because it would have been '98. 1998, I mean. As far as I know the majority of my Disney experience that day took place in the 20th century.

    *this is the part when the audience would be screaming at me, "DON'T GO UP THERE!"

    **can't remember if he looked like Lloyd from The Shining, but ever since the possibility of a resemblance occurred to me I can't watch that scene anymore.

  • SugarSmak

    Are you talking about Disneyland? This sounds a lot like Club 33...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Club_33

    (I was a Cast Member at WDW during my college breaks. Someone addressed Club 33 in orientation. It's amazing the things you remember. I forgot everything I learned in 2 semesters of French, but I remember this and the entire spiel I had to do at "Captain EO". Go figure...)

  • Salieri2

    Nope--didn't look anything like Club 33, and I've never been to Anaheim. I've been searching off and on to see if anyone, anywhere in the interwebz has had a similar experience & felt compelled to post it online, but so far nada.

    Ain't gonna lie, that in itself scares me a bit.

  • Maguita NYC

    Oddly, that picture of a feathered Jennifer Lawrence made me think of "O", as in a movie version of Pauline Reage's Story of "O".

    At least in my mind, that is how I always pictured O would look like by the end, minus the red welts of course.

  • BAM

    Disney serves adult beverages at California Adventure (its only redeeming quality until they opened a Ghirardhelli in there too.

  • Snath

    I got a 3 degrees separation last night!

  • barlowjk

    4, for Lina Leandersson of "Let the Right One In", she says, two days later and a little sheepish.

  • BWeaves

    Wizards vs. Aliens?

    Sounds like a cross between Harry Potter and the Sarah Jane Adventures. Since both are over, I guess RTD is trying to pick up the audience who wants more.

  • TheOtherGreg

    Dinosaurs on a Spaceship was excellent.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Yes. Absolutely. If you're 8.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Still better than Asylum of the Daleks. And Amy was wholly unirritating, which is a major achievement these days.

  • TheOtherGreg

    it IS a kid's show at heart.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    No, it's not. It's a family show at heart.

  • BWeaves

    Oops. I read that "Two skaters, One cup."

  • JRD

    You had me at "Kevin Bacon flavored kisses for my Ben."

  • fracas

    That wooden keyboard makes me want one with Scrabble tiles for buttons. That should be a thing.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    I just can't get the picture of fingers full of splinters out of my head.

  • JoannaRobinson

    I got blisters on me fingers.

  • John G.

    that's an awesome idea. Surely, this must exist.

  • BWeaves


    I only play games that are made from wood. It's so much more enjoyable.

  • Bert_McGurt

    With a row of blanks for the space bar?

  • lowercase_ryan

    How stoned do you have to be to come up with two guys on a skateboard?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    This much stoned.

    I'm holding my hands pretty far apart.

  • Groundloop

    In the B&W photo of Jennifer Lawrence posted above, is it just me, or does she have a little Audrey Hepburn thing going on?

    Also, "something for hornithologists to drool over"? I see what you did there Joanna. You naughty girl.

  • Bandit

    Thank you! I've just spent far too long staring at that picture and wondering who it reminds me off.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I will never understand Dustin and his anti-boobist tendencies. It's like he wants the world to suffer from a lack of mammarifousness.

  • Maguita NYC

    If I understand his shared going-ons in his personal life, his twins had stolen his wife's boobs from him.

    So one would assume this has incited his immeasurable and unending ire on anything boobies..?

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