Oh Dear God, Is J.J. Abrams Letting Internet Nerdom Write The New 'Star Wars'?
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Oh Dear God, Is J.J. Abrams Letting Internet Nerdom Write The New 'Star Wars'?

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | November 5, 2013 | Comments ()


In a recent interview J.J. Abrams outlined some of the things we can expect to see from the new Star Wars installment. Vince Mancini rightly points out that this description bears a close resemblance to some of the “demands” made in the popular “Dear J.J. Abrams” video.

I know all of us sitting smugly here in our bathrobes or office casuals think we can write a better script than J.J. Abrams, but we don’t actually want him to listen to us. We don’t get to have that kind of power. J.J., this is the reaction we internet know-it-alls deserve.


Ahem, the HIMYM staff, on the other hand, they should listen to us when we say “stop.” “Right now. Stop. A rhyming episode? STOP.” (Vulture)

No one is having more fun on Twitter than Patton Oswalt. No, not even Colbert. (Gawker)

I am so damn sick and tired of everyone speculating about the prospective bun in an actress’s oven as soon as she steps out the door in something loose and flowey. Don’t judge Drew Barrymore and her Dorothy Zbornack caftan! (GFY)

Uh, wait, what? She is pregnant? Oh, congrats, Drew! (Pregnant)

And now for something completely different: the amazing Terry Gilliam and his ass-clingiest jeans give you a little speech on creativity. (Unreality)

Did you already have your lunch today, kids? Good, because this stomach churning footage of two planes colliding in air from the helmet cam of the passengers will ruin you for food. Unbelievably, no one was seriously injured despite the fact that one plane exploded in a fire ball. (Uproxx)

The weird delight of this Cosplayers At Home photo shoot can not be overstated. (Colossal)

Here’s a list of the 50 Funniest Women Of All Time and it cannot be refuted or at all considered a subjective ranking. IT IS FACT. “Of all time” means “since the 50s,” by the way, so sorry Carole Lombard and Jane Austen fans. SORRY. (Underscoopfire)

And why this magnificent creature who whipped her own wig off in celebration of a Price Is Right win didn’t make the list, I can’t say. (DListed)

Did you know that back in the 15th century, some couples were required to settle their differences through combat? Is that man in a hole? Does that women beating him with a sock? Read on. (TDR)

They’re shooting the Super Troopers sequel soon. Right meow? No. But soon. (Film Drunk)

Just after she got back together with RPatz, Kristen Stewart landed two films. Coincidence or has Kristen Stewart’s entire career and the career of many a-young Hollywood starlet been predicated on a system that rewards notoriety and visibility over talent? Uh. You decide. (Celebitchy)

I know when I land one of the world’s most beautiful women for my cover, I like to style her as wallpaper paste. (T&L)
Screen Shot 2013-11-05 at 9.04.28 AM.png

Of all the 20 fun and obscure facts Dustin wrote up about Freaks and Geeks here, by far my favorite the discovery that Cary Agos aka Logan Huntzberger aka Matt Czuchry had a small role. Ben Foster I knew, this I did not. (WG)

'New Girl's' Hannah Simone Answered Questions on Reddit, and She Was a Damn Delight | Scandal-ranking Gwyneth Paltrow's One-Woman War Against Vanity Fair

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • That Patton Oswalt article was comedy gold, although watching the clowns at Gawker have spastic sensitivity fits in the comments was almost as funny.

    Also, I've noticed that for some reason I can edit not only my comments, but everybody else's comments as well. This should probably be fixed before I give in to the temptation to use my powers for evil instead of good.

  • HIMYM was fantastic last night, or at least the last scene was. But yeah, no rhyming episode.

  • Yocean

    Emily Maya Mills who flipped careers ending tweet is a friend of mine. Yay.

  • BWeaves

    Am I the only one who doesn't get Patton Oswalt?

  • bastich

    No Tom Carvel "Patty O'Cripply" ice cream cake for you!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Yes, pray to Sky Cake for forgiveness.

  • Joey.blowey

    Star Wars doesn't happen in the forests of Endor either.
    F#@K those goddamned Ewoks. That's NOT Star Wars

  • BWeaves

    I find it hard to believe that those cosplayers live in those places. I picture them in their parent's basements.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Just read Epbot and you'll see how crafty some cosplayers are about their houses in addition to their costumes.

  • TK

    And what is with that airline food these days, am I right?

  • Repo

    That's some low hanging fruit right there, no?

  • anikitty

    There's not enough Janeane Garofalo in my world.

  • John W

    On that list of funny women, Carol Burnett should be #2 and Madeline Khan should be in the top 10.

  • Dumily

    Jane Motherfucking Curtin is #41? I reject your list.

  • We all have reams of ideas on how the prequels could have been better (Step 1: no kids. Step 2: less CGI). That doesn't mean Abrams should start collating the Interwebz for better ideas for this trilogy. That's just asking for trouble.

    Make the best Star Wars movie you can. The nerds will come.

  • Marc Greene

    I do appreciate that the "4 Rules" thing was more about aesthetics rather than plot points. The setting of Star Wars is pretty well established, so I'd say that JJ just needs to concentrate on creating a good MOVIE* as the priority *see RLM's Plinkett review of EP 1-3 to get an idea of how the prequels failed on many more structural levels than Jar Jar and "I hate sand". Their question about Episode 1 (who is the primary character?) pretty much sums up how Lucas bantha poo'd the bed.

  • ray

    Qui Gon, Qui Gon was the main character

  • Marc Greene
  • ray

    I've seen the review
    it had its moments

    qui gon is still the main character

  • Marc Greene

    So what was Qui Gon's arc? How was he the proxy for the audience? He doesn't have one and he isn't.

    That is like saying Obi Wan was the main character of Episode 4.

  • ray

    He was the proxy in that we learned new things about the universe through his eyes from anakin, yoda, padme, etc. His arc was committing to what he believed was the right thing to do at the objections of his peers. He chose to free thinker and not blindly follow doctrine while at the same time making sure his student understood his views and the importance of his last request
    It is a reversal of episode 4 where the mentor is the main character and the student is the supporting character

  • Marc Greene

    What? A character arc is when characters begin the story with a certain viewpoint and, through events in the story, that viewpoint changes. At best, he is a focal character rather than a protagonist. A protagonist is generally the most important person of drama; that would/should be Anakin for the purposes of the prequels, right? For Episode 1, Qui Gon is probably more of a deuteragonist and maybe somewhat of a narrator/exposition provider. He never changed through the experiences of the film and learned nothing new about himself or the universe. Using your example, ("we learned new things about the universe through his eyes from anakin, yoda, padme, etc."), Anakin (or Yoda or Padme) is the protagonist. He technically serves as the proxy as he is learning new things about himself, although very little and with nearly no payoff.

  • ray

    No Qui Gon is the protagonist, Anakin is the deuteragonist

  • ray

    He is the one that learns the extent of corruption and prejudice in other galaxies, he is the first to comprehend the danger in the upcoming conflict, and he is the one that decides a course of action that could solve the conflict despite the disapproval of his peers over the possibility that it might further the conflict

  • Marc Greene

    If by "solve the conflict" you mean apparently do the heavy lifting of completing Darth Sidious' overly convoluted plot of creating a crisis that gets Palpatine into a position power? Sure, Ginny is the plot mover... the stupid, stupid plot mover. He does have the most screen time and has the first billing of characters and actors.

  • ray

    I never said his decision would end the problem
    I simply said that his realization of the problem and the commitment to his decision was his character arc

  • Marc Greene

    Again, he didn't change. What you describe is a plot arc, not a character arc. He was the same emotionless, "wise", robotic 2-D cutout of a character throughout the entire movie. He learned nothing new about himself or a greater understanding of his place in the universe. He bucked authority, but Obi Wan even mentions how Qui Gon is kind of known for being rebellious. Count Dooku even mentions it in Episode 2 when he has Obi Wan captured. If there is an arc for a character, it is either Anakin (simple slave who finds out he is the prophesied one) or Obi Wan (a Padawan who becomes a Knight and accepts his deceased Master's duty). Even those two aren't really changes in their intrinsic characteristics, but more just their label in the universe at large. Compare that to Episode 4: Obi Wan (in the Qui Gon "mentor" role) doesn't change - other than becoming a Force ghost, but Luke goes from being a whiny, skeptical moisture farmboy who is impulsive into someone who is brave, respected by his peers, and trusts in the Force.

  • ray

    no those two are decoy protagonists that become protagonists in future sequels
    what qui gon undergoes is a test of character
    where he has to choose between his principles and staying out of trouble

  • bastich

    ...in both senses of the word....

  • Zirza

    Oh man, that funniest women list thing? Madeline Kahn is at 38. YOU DO NOT PUT MADELINE KAHN ONE ITEM UNDER MIRANDA HART.

  • Gabs

    Just what I was coming to bitch about. Any funny ladies list that doesn't have Madeline in the top 5 is inherently WRONG.

  • The Kilted Yaksman

    I was just going to comment on this. I will not dispute their #1, so I will put Kahn at #2.

  • She should be in the top 5 just for 'Young Frankenstein.'

  • Pants-are-a-must

    We will all call him Jar Jar Abrams by the time this Star Wars movie is out, mark my words.

  • GDI

    That's a damn safe bet, given Abrams track record.

  • DarthCorleone

    Apparently I didn't make my Internet rant about the problems with those four Star Wars rules loud enough. J.J., invite me over to your office, and we'll talk. I have loads of classic Star Wars action figure experience as my credentials.

  • bastich

    Remember, this is a formal meeting. Make sure to transport your Star Wars figures by wearing your Chewbacca Bandolier Action Figure Carrier.

  • Some Guy

    My preferred method of transportation is the Darth Vader torso-as-a-briefcase method.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    I think it's less wallpaper paste and more Christmas angel.

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