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Nicolas Cage Gets Arrested For Losing His Sh*t? Don't Say We Didn't Warn You.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (39)

nicolas-cage-facts.jpeg

OMG and LOL my darling texters, tweeters and in-betweeners. Despite all anecdotal evidence to the contrary, there is a recent study that claims texting can actually improve your spelling. Here I thought it was the downfall of mankind. 2 funny. (io9)

In other linguistical news, some poor racist nitwit complained to OkCupid about the presence of Spanish on the site. Cause it’s for ‘Murikans, right? So there should only be ‘Murikan werds. The OkCupid folks gave him a David Thorne-esque tongue lashing and, eventually, banned him from the site. (Rip-Off Report)

Speaking of racist nitwittery, Marilyn Davenport’s racist Obama emails frankly shocked me. There are times when Orange County antics make me wish California were two different states. (Angry Black Lady)

Here in my hippie dippie, Nag Champa-scented, Northern California bubble, I had no idea eight states had banned atheists from holding office. That can’t be right. (Friendly Athiest)

Mon dieu, am I allowed to preach peace, love and understanding and then rip on the French? Well, if not, I’ll let this article do my dirty work. (Awl)

I feel safe in snickering at the people who’ve contracted Legionnaire’s Disease from the Playboy Mansion hot tub because, honestly, did the bathers think they would escape that Stew of Humanity disease-free? (LA Times)

Well, I’ll freely admit that we’ve all dipped a toe in Humanity Stew by helping Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video reach 1,000,000 hits. However, how classy (if deeply, deeply untalented) is she to donate proceeds from the song to help Japan? (Marie Claire)

We’re not surprised that Nicolas Cage got arrested for being drunk and disorderly and generally crazy, right? We saw that coming, right? Heed the teachings of hh before it’s too late. (Celebitchy)

Speaking Pajiba luminaries, our very own Cannonball moderator, tamatha, is celebrating a birthday today. Please feel free to make her an elaborate book-themed cake. Need some inspiration? Don’t worry, the Link Wench has your back. (Cake Wrecks)

Also celebrating a birthday today are the Tenth Doctor, David Tennant, and the master of the supercut, Edgar Wright. Here’s Ten with an adorable pet, and Mr. Wright with something even cuter.

All the cuteness must have made me a bit soft because here is a cute animal video. I watched it four or five times. I can’t stop watching them. I am helpless to their goaty charms.

And we close this Monday Love with a fantastic music video. This is a cover of a song I really love, Mark Summer’s cello piece “Julie-O.” However, this cellist has added beat boxing because he’s the most badass cellist that ever was. Well, except for Yo-Yo Ma and, probably, that cellist from The Soloist but I didn’t see that movie on account of it looked terrible.

Joanna Robinson is enjoying the hail out of her retox and will raise a glass of some deeply hoppy beer tonight to tamatha. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

I had a coworker from Aberdeen years ago who had a little girl and named her Olive. I remember because of the overwhelming cute of hearing about "my wee Olive" in that amazing Scottish accent.

When I heard Tennant's lucky little one was named Olive my brain broke, and now a piece of my consciousness is living in an alternative universe where I get to hear him talk about "my wee Olive" every day.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 18, 2011 1:21 PM

Curse this post for its picture! MY NIGHT TERRORS ARE UNCEASING EVEN IN THE LIGHT OF DAY ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: StoatCat at April 18, 2011 1:24 PM

Actually standing on a box! Sarkozy was ACTUALLY STANDING ON A BOX!

He should embrace his vertical challenge. Being short never stopped anyone in France from getting ahead. For a while anyway...

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 18, 2011 1:34 PM

That's what I imagine my face looks like when I'm trying to entertain my infant children.

"Who's a widdew baby? Who is it? Whashuwannabahbah? HEEEEHHHHHHHaaaaaaaEEEEEHHHHHH!"

They cry a lot.

Posted by: Kballs at April 18, 2011 1:35 PM

Nicholas Cage finally loses it. In other news, if you stand out in the rain you'll get wet.

Marilyn Davenport gives Republicans an even worse image than they already have. It's appalling (as well as SO 2008) to have such bile spewing about the internets.

Sadly, it doesn't surprise me that atheists are banned in several states. There will always be a search on for the next target for manufactured hatred.

Posted by: The Wanderer at April 18, 2011 1:42 PM

I want to put a jumper and short pants on Mr. Sarkozy, give him a lollipop, and take him to the park.

Is it any surprise that the vastly large majority of anti-atheist states are S-O-U-T-H? And should they annex Orange County when they secede form the Union again?

Posted by: idiosynchronic at April 18, 2011 1:43 PM

The Soloist was, in fact, quite horrible, but the schizophrenic cellist rules. I, on the other hand, as a merely bipolar cellist, lack discipline and focus. Maybe that's why I haven't worked a regular orchestra job since 1997.

Yo-yo Ma is made of awesome, but I'm finding gaps in his repertoire.

Posted by: Jerry at April 18, 2011 1:46 PM

Is this Davenport woman of sufficient public profile that the mere mention of her will draw trolls to the site? A flame war is such nice way to start the week and this office is so chilly that I look forward to the warming glow of the conflagration. To keep myself cozy while I wait, I'll work on my bangables list. I have some updates to make, including stipulations, and I do not want to be caught unawares when my contributions are solicited.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 18, 2011 1:52 PM

Mrs. J:
A system of incremental updates...

Posted by: Jerry at April 18, 2011 1:55 PM

First, that goat video is beyond amazingly cute and knocked me into next Tuesday. Goats are so fickety-fucking cute and full of little goat-y joie de vivre, it's ridiculous. I've heard they smell bad; otherwise, I'd be getting a little flock of my own right now.

I had a coworker from Aberdeen years ago who had a little girl and named her Olive.

And here I thought you meant Aberdeen, WA (famously the birthplace of Kurt Cobain), and I was really confused for a minute.

Posted by: MM at April 18, 2011 1:59 PM

I love that the second goat appears to be Tokyo Drift-ing as he makes it up the stairs.

Posted by: Markus at April 18, 2011 2:04 PM

Hahahaha you take a dip in Old man Hefner's cesspool you deserve everything you catch, and more. Disgusting.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 18, 2011 2:14 PM

Awww, adorable goats! But I really want to give that poor doggie a big head-skritch and some snausages for those owie hips he or she has.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at April 18, 2011 2:18 PM

God that OKCUPID guy really truly believed he was in the right. It was almost hard to read his post and take it seriously.

Posted by: hoover19 at April 18, 2011 2:22 PM

Was my comment really that inflammatory?

Just warning you folks - don't call Sarkozy a baby to this gang, they're a hotheaded lot.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at April 18, 2011 2:22 PM

(whispers) Who is idiosynchronic talking to? Did I miss something in my bang updates?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 18, 2011 2:28 PM

The goats are cute (anyone else love the Beekman goats?) but that arthritic dog struggling up the stairs won all of the love I have to give.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 18, 2011 2:41 PM

Despite the fact that I am married, I may have to enroll in OkCupid just because it is staffed by awesome people, especially Eli. I wonder if they would just let me lurk?

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 18, 2011 2:45 PM

What, no mention that it was likely Dog the Bounty Hunter who bailed Nic out?

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/135397/20110418/nicolas-cage-arrested-domestic-violence-dog-the-bounty-hunter-new-orleans.htm

That's good stuff!

Posted by: katy at April 18, 2011 2:46 PM

(whispers) Mrs. J! Pssst! Over here! Yeah, I think he thinks farm animals can't possibly be cute, so we must be using all this goat talk as a code to make fun of him and his clever anti-Sarkozyness.

Posted by: Kballs at April 18, 2011 2:47 PM

Of course I will also mention that my heart ached for the poor ol' dog, trying not to break a hip in the goat stampede. As the owner of an old dog, I send much love to the doggie.

Posted by: MM at April 18, 2011 2:49 PM

Seeing as how I wholeheartedly recognize the existence of Godtopus as a Supreme Being and dispenser of punishments I cannot be disqualified from public office in any of those states.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 18, 2011 2:50 PM

I'm disqualified from office in most states, but it ain't because of Jesus!

Let's just say that sucker-punching astronauts was frowned upon in February of 1986.

Posted by: Kballs at April 18, 2011 2:58 PM

Let's just say that sucker-punching astronauts was frowned upon in February of 1986.
Posted by: Kballs at April 18, 2011 2:58 PM


Ah, you're banned under the McAuliffe Act.

too soon?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 18, 2011 3:06 PM

I believe in God. I also believe in Santa Claus, true love, and Superman.

They all exist conceptually, people.

Posted by: superasente at April 18, 2011 3:12 PM

You forgot the Celestial Teapot Superasente.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 18, 2011 3:52 PM

that nic cage gets all out of hand when he's hopped up on a couple of glasses of jelly beans...

Posted by: the Fatman at April 18, 2011 4:09 PM

because, honestly, did the bathers think they would escape that Stew of Humanity disease-free?

Great. It's like the disease-laden nightmare-causing P Love all over again. I'd better get my therapist on the phone.

Posted by: Penicillin at April 18, 2011 4:10 PM

If you only read the comments to this post you can walk away thinking that Mrs. Julien invited Barbado Slim over while Paddy dog made popcorn so they could watch a show involving STD riddled Playoboy bunnies who get night tremors by watching goats jumping over atheists and Nic Cage.

Do I even need to go to the links now?

Posted by: JuiceinLA at April 18, 2011 4:34 PM

I think you all need to know that my new pants are too large and are making me look like W.C. Fields in costume as Micawber.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 18, 2011 4:35 PM

Goat Charms sounds like the world's worst cereal. The box would make your children cry.

Posted by: Lauren at April 18, 2011 4:43 PM

"If you only read the comments to this post you can walk away thinking that Mrs. Julien invited Barbado Slim over while Paddy dog made popcorn so they could watch a show involving STD riddled Playoboy bunnies who get night tremors by watching goats jumping over atheists and Nic Cage."

And your problem with that is?

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 18, 2011 5:20 PM

That poor old dog must find those bouncing baby goats utterly exhausting.

Posted by: snapnhiss at April 18, 2011 7:26 PM

Cello guy fuckin' rocks!

And who knew baby goats were so damn cute?

Posted by: Slash at April 18, 2011 7:44 PM

actually there needs to be a few extra zeros on that rebecca black post. That would be a HUNDRED MILLION views. You know whats better that a Million views.....A Billion views!

Posted by: Matt at April 18, 2011 8:47 PM

First, that goat video is beyond amazingly cute and knocked me into next Tuesday. Goats are so fickety-fucking cute and full of little goat-y joie de vivre, it's ridiculous. I've heard they smell bad; otherwise, I'd be getting a little flock of my own right now.

I am in love with this whole entire paragraph. And I can't wait to tell someone that they are full of goat-y joie de vivre.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 18, 2011 10:26 PM

why is no one talking about the really important thing here? The CAKE. Namely, the "Where The Wild Things Are" cake and how much I neeeeed it!

The goats are frickin adorable too.

Posted by: Even Stevens at April 18, 2011 11:39 PM

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Posted by: laser quit smoking at May 25, 2011 10:38 PM

Syphilis and STD's need to be controlled

Posted by: Syphilis Sucks at June 10, 2011 6:29 PM