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Newt Gingrich Cites Love of Country As The Reason For Cheating On His Wife. I Call Dibs On The Porn Parody Title "Patriot Games."

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | March 10, 2011 | Comments ()


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So I came to a realization today when cooking this particular Pajiba Love stew. Did you know most Link Wenches and Love Masters on other sites don't read or even skim the articles they link to? My gob! She is smacked! I thought I was supposed to read the entire internets for you! Enough is enough! My skin craves sunlight! From now on I'm going to follow in this man's negligent footsteps and just read headlines. What could possibly go wrong? (F*ck Yeah Headlines)

Actually, in order to make the whole process as painless as possible, I may start noshing something like these gourmet pot brownies on particularly rough mornings. I guess the fancy chef hired to make these put pretzels on top as a concession to "The Munchies." Uh, dude, I know from personal experience that The Munchies come much la-I mean. Um. I KNOW NOTHING. I DIDN'T INHALE THE BROWNIES BUT IF I DID I ONLY DID IT BECAUSE I LOVE MY COUNTRY SO VERY MUCH! (The Awl)

All the pot brownies in the world will not help me unsee this man with 82 tattoos of Julia Roberts's face. (NY Mag)

It's a sad day for the Wisconsin unions and while the populist in me is tempted to sharpen the stabbing end of my picket sign and head towards Madison, I was interested to read Ezra Kelin's Op-ed in the "Washington Post" about how this speaks to the democratic process in general. Food for thought, yeah? Mmmm, brownies. (Washington Post)

So, my adorable electorates, one thing we can learn from The Troubles (pretty much sans violence!) is that educated and conscientious voting is extraordinarily important. I know you knew that, but tell a friend! The spin has already started for the 2012 Presidential race and Newt Gingrich's excuses are particularly endearing in their preposterousness. (Vanity Fair)

One man with a healthy respect the democratic process is the Dalai Lama who has announced that he will retire in order to allow the Tibetan people to democratically elect their next leader. Listen, the last person I want to knock is the Dalai Lama, but it sort of takes the ooomph out of your statement when your retirement timeline is in "the next 10 years, 20 years, some day I will go." (CNN)

Aw, I'm going to miss the Dalai Lama. Lettuce look at an animal video to make ourselves feel better. "Link Wench," I hear you cry, "Surely just one animal video won't be enough." Hmmm, how about ALL the animal videos? This site has amassed a trove of animal fight videos, my favorite being duck vs. escalator. (Maniac World)

In other awesome animal news, check out these nifty Steampunk insects made from recycled bullets. (1800 Recycling)

Gizmodo explains the physics of pruney fingers which has always been, in my mind, the weirdest thing the human body does. (Gizmodo)

Hot on the heels of bringing you some surprisingly undorky Star Wars cosplay, Unreality mag has a round-up of some of the worst "Firefly" cosplay. (Unreality)

You know, sometimes I'm tempted to whisper that "Firefly" is not the MOST amazing TV show ever made. Oh it's great. I love it. But I'm always afraid that if I were to question "Firefly," someone would respond by questioning the greatness of "Doctor Who." And then I would be forced to murder them with a sharpened protest sign or an insect bullet. Point being, NEW "DOCTOR WHO" IS COMING STARTING APRIL 23rd AND HERE'S THE FIRST OFFICIAL IMAGE AND IT'S NOT THAT GREAT BUT STILL COOL JUST LIKE FEZES. (Warming Glow)

Mercedes Benz has introduced this cool concept of projecting video footage on blind corners to help drivers navigate them better. What did people do? Crowd around it and take pictures, thus obscuring it from view. Because of course they did.

I hope you have, by now, seen one of my favorite internet memes, Sassy Gay Friend. The last installment (with a "Great Expectations" theme) had an odd and jarring product placement, so I'm glad to see SGF back to form setting Nina from Black Swan straight.

Joanna Robinson would like to assure you that any spelling or grammatical errors contained herein were made because of her all-consuming patriotic fervor for Pajibaland. You can send any corrections here: godtopuswept@gmail.com or tell her about them on Twitter @quityourJRob



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