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New Album Attempts To Pry Norah Jones From The Sticky, Syrupy Embrace of Starbucks Music

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (52)

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Recently there’s been a lot of chatter about how the world will end on May 21st of this year. (Even The Artist formerly known as Patton Oswalt is talking about it.) It’s a rather arbitrary date, my rapturous ones, chosen by a rather arbitrary group, but here’s a look at some of the calculations that went into its selection. (Newsfeed)

But, but, the world CAN’T end on that day, my little word playahs! That’s the day of the O. Henry Pun-Off World Championship and I’ve been training for that ever since I found out about it, um, yesterday! (NPR)

Truth be told, I’ve been training for that contest my whole life. It’s really important that I get to go. Who can we send to stop the apocalypse…some kick@ss Disney Princesses??! OKAY! My money’s on Belle, take a gander at her shin guards. (Geekologie)

I say, come the rapture, when all of the undeserving are left behind (ahem, that’s all of you, don’t kid yourselves) that we meet up in one of these bizarre, alien-looking locations. Creepy post-apocalyptic cityscapes are so 2010. (io9)

Once we pick a place to meet up, you’re not allowed to tell anyone, okay? This is just for us. You told already didn’t you? Ugch, COME ON, Loose Tweets Sink Fleets! (Flickr)
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Listen, I don’t really buy into the Rapture, but if you told me this completely baffling “Planking” fad was a sign of the apocalypse, I would believe you. (BBC)

Defending the “art” in planking is like defending the “art” in Terrence Malick’s sh*tshow Tree of Life, which I haven’t seen but feel comfortable prejudging based on the thunderous boos that greeted it at Cannes this weekend. “But a lot of things have been booed at Cannes,” you cry. Yeah and they were all terrible films. What’s that Marie Antoinette apologists? I can’t hear you over the screech of Coppola’s soundtrack. (Tree of Life )

Aw, I don’t come here to trash your favorite arty movies, honest. Look here, my art house bunnies, starting next month you can watch all of your favorite Miramax films streaming on Netflix Instant. Oh, Miramax, you never disappointed. Good Will Hunting! Pulp Fiction! Reindeer Games! (/Film)

Speaking of, it turns out Schwarzenegger was definitely playing reindeer games with one of his staffers and has confessed to fathering a child with her. Color me wholly unsurprised. (Evil Beet)

If Maria Shriver is looking for a good break-up album, may I suggest she try my current lady crush, Adele? In a recent interview with “Out,” Adele talks about the heart-breaking relationship that inspired the fantastic 21. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of voices I love, countless cheesy rom com soundtracks and Starbucks albums have tried to kill my love for Norah Jones, but I am ever steadfast. Her guest vocals on Danger Mouse’s new album Rome are a total silky, smokey highlight and I’m hoping the cred of this collaboration will make it okay to profess my love in the streets. I love you, Norah Jones! I even loved your bad acting in that Wong Kar Wai flick! Jack White’s sexy rasp is featured on Rome as well. Check out Audiosuede’s review. (Audiosuede)

And while we’re talking loves. I LOVE LAMP! (Nerd Approved) AND ALSO THIS INCEPTION CHAIR! (Blame It On The Voices)

Here is another staggering time lapse video by Daniel López. I can’t tell if it’s Inception-y or Rapture-y, but either way my jaw dropped.

El Cielo de Canarias / Canary sky - Tenerife from Daniel López on Vimeo.

Yesterday I failed to note the anniversary of Jim Henson’s passing. For that I’m truly sorry. To make it up, here are the muppets honoring their creator. It’s really, really, really, really sad, my friends, so if you don’t feel like tearing up, don’t even think about pressing play.

Joanna Robinson can’t possibly leave you on such a sad note, so here’s one last link from the Link Wench. It’s a cute, irreverent tribute to Jim Henson. Enjoy! Email! Twitter!









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Comments

You can listen to the entire Rome album here: http://www.npr.org/2011/05/09/136094599/first-listen-danger-mouse-and-daniele-luppi-rome

And Norah is smoking hot.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at May 17, 2011 1:15 PM

Why do you think I haven't listened to Belle & Sebastian's latest album?

Jones is on it.

Just really sapped the enthusiasm hearing about it.

Posted by: Jay at May 17, 2011 1:22 PM

Pressing pay? You're going to start charging us to cry now? Not cool, bees. Not cool.

Posted by: Paultera at May 17, 2011 1:23 PM

All told, adding all the holidays together, I spent half of my childhood in Tenerife. It really is that beautiful. And I climbed Mount Teide(the big ole mountain/extinct volcano taking up half the shots) and it's snowy up there even when an hours drive down hill you're in a bikini.

Those videos give me a vertigo feeling, like when you're a kid looking down from a great, great height for the first time.
They make me aware in a way I've not been before, really aware that WE move, not the sky. I mean, I KNOW that any way, but these videos make me feel it.
It makes me feel like I'm holding on to the earth and staring down as we speed past the sky.

Also I can't even watch that Muppets video. I barely recovered from one I saw recently from his memorial show when Big Bird sang It's Not Easy Being Green and was audibly weeping the entire way through.

Posted by: Nadine at May 17, 2011 1:30 PM

Someone needs to tell Adele that, lovely as she is, "dead-eyed and slack-jawed" isn't a flattering look for anyone.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 17, 2011 1:35 PM

Norah's "The Fall" was a delightful change of pace. I'm a little mixed on "Rome" myself, but it is growing on me. Damn you, Danger Mouse!

Posted by: Drew Morton at May 17, 2011 1:39 PM

I teared up when you just mentioned Jim Henson's passing. Jerk. :(

Posted by: CupK8 at May 17, 2011 1:42 PM

Someone needs to tell Adele that I sometimes sing along to her songs while I'm in the car.

Wait- nobody needs to know that.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 1:49 PM

Hey, who stole Yossarian's handle?

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 1:50 PM

Tracer, not even me? I just bought like, twenty headbands and smocks to go with my new dead eyed, slack jawed look(I took a WHOLE BUNCH of heroin to get it just right)

NO ONE can pull it off?
Them's fightin' words

Posted by: Nadine at May 17, 2011 1:53 PM

Being able to sing along (in the car or otherwise) is a major requirement for me.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 1:54 PM

Admit it, who else was disappointed that there was no discussion of boobs after seeing the header pic?

Posted by: Fredo at May 17, 2011 1:58 PM

That’s the day of the O. Henry Pun-Off World Championship

The subject of that NPR story is correct. A pun can be a powerful tool. However, without self-restraint, so can the punster.

Posted by: branded at May 17, 2011 1:58 PM

I borrowed Yossarian's handle for a post to get the level of the room before admitting I need to sing along with music*. But then I got impatient and posted with my standard nom de Pajiba anyway.

*These statements will, or will not, be revealed to be lies depending on what highjinks will, or will not, ensue after I click Post.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 1:59 PM

10 points for branded!

Posted by: Mrs. Julissarian at May 17, 2011 2:00 PM

L'Avventura was booed at Cannes.

Posted by: Will at May 17, 2011 2:01 PM

A major requirement for what, Mrs J? Potential suitor? Are you looking for a stalker of your very own?

I'm not very good but what I lack in vocal talent I make up for in earnestness.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 2:02 PM

It is a quality most devoutly to be desired when I am looking for a kettle.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 2:08 PM

The subject of that NPR story is correct. A pun can be a powerful tool. However, without self-restraint, so can the punster.

Are you calling me a tool, you rake? It's Link WENCH, not Link WRENCH, get it right.

Posted by: coveredinbees at May 17, 2011 2:11 PM

Since the room is on the level, I'll admit that when tooling around the neighborhood I often say "screw it" and hammer out a few Adel songs. I hope nobody saw me (or worse yet got me on tape) measures of decorum and restraint are what I'm know for.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 2:20 PM

Yeah, it's definitely 'somebody stole Yossarian's password day' today.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 2:21 PM

Sorry.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 2:27 PM

Yossarian nailed it!

Sorry, that's all I got.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 17, 2011 2:28 PM

Listen, Yossarian, I'm not going to pull any punches. When I get good and ploughed, I too like to sing along to Adele. I don't want you to ratchet up your expectations or anything, it's only shear luck that I can carry a tune and don't maul the melody. But the way I grind out those protracted notes ain't awl that.

Posted by: coveredinbees at May 17, 2011 2:31 PM

I feel like I've lost the narrative thread somehow.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 2:36 PM

dun dun dun dundundundun

Ice Ice Baby..rollin in my 5 point oh with the rag top down so my hair can blow....

See folks, now THAT is mortifying.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 17, 2011 2:42 PM

Mrs. J., that's what a needle threader is for. Very handle tool.

Posted by: coveredinbees at May 17, 2011 2:44 PM

I thought handling tools was verboten on the site.

(I'm trying but I still think I'm making an adze of myself.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 2:46 PM

Look, bees, I'm sure you give a riveting performance. But you're nuts if you think you can bolt on stage at a Karaoke bar to ply would-be Cyndi Lauper moves on the slack jawed yokels and hold a torch to my auto tunes.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 2:48 PM

Yossarian's comment at 2:48 was posted by me as him.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 2:50 PM

Why are you even doing that, Mrs Julien? Just post under your own name or continue to make up other pseudonyms. Get your vises under control.

Posted by: branded at May 17, 2011 2:53 PM

I thought Yossarian nailed it and I was trying to buttress my reputation.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 2:57 PM

I mean, when I really get going people crane their necks just to catch site of me. I'll rock everyone in the building; permit me to show you the blueprint of my success (fasten your seat bets hand her a cold drink) I can even do heavy metal and I can rap, too. By Four o'clock when the bar is closing I've built quit a reputation.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 3:02 PM

Damn you typo obscuring the already difficult belt sander pun!

This is Mrs. Julien by the way.

Posted by: Yossarian at May 17, 2011 3:04 PM

I teared up when you just mentioned Jim Henson's passing.

Me too, CupK8. Me too.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 17, 2011 3:07 PM

All this pressure to be clever is giving me shingles. Maybe I should go back to eaves troughing on threads until I can frame the correct response.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 3:09 PM

Y'know, one would have thought Maria Shriver would have been more than a little suspicious of her husband's fidelity when she saw the housekeeper's toddler bench pressing the piano in the family room.

Unfortunately she seems to have been suffering from politico ocularitis, a disorder that is common among many politicians' spouses where they fail to see bad behavior while riding the coattails of even minor political success. I know it's been a generational epidemic in the Kennedy bloodline.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 17, 2011 3:22 PM

At least she left him bleujayone. I think the even more distressing condition is the ambulatory doormat syndrome that seems to afflict spouses as they stand next to the louse at a news conference and he acknowledges his behaviour.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 4:08 PM

Yay! Yay! Time for another thrilling episode of "Lets all be scandalized by the adventures of celebrity penis!: The Schwarzenegger edition"

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 17, 2011 4:30 PM

I managed to construct one pun and Mrs. Julien steals it? I guess I'll have to drill deeper and come up with another. Or I could just rake up some of the other ones on this thread and stamp my name on them.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at May 17, 2011 4:42 PM

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 17, 2011 6:07 PM

I saw what you awl did there. I won't route myself into such things though. I don't think it's a level playing field.

Posted by: Paultera at May 17, 2011 6:29 PM

This whole fake Yossarian incident confused me. And reminded me of Superman III.

A Pajiba karaoke night would be fun.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 17, 2011 6:44 PM

We had a guy die while trying this planking thing a couple of days ago.
The saddest thing in the whole affair? Dignified looking policemen earnestly trying to tell people that 'Planking is dangerous. Please don't do it.'
You can just see that little piece of their soul dying as they realise they've spent twenty years doing all sorts of awful shit to 'Protect and Serve' and now that includes telling people that that hanging off a nine-storey balcony is a Really Stupid Move. I wanted to hug them and whisper,
"It's okay. Give up. We don't deserve to live."

Posted by: ScienceGeek at May 17, 2011 7:02 PM

When is Maria going to eat something? I feel bad for what's happening to her marriage in a really general anaesthetic kind of way where you're just down and numbed out pretty quickly, but as long as we're talking about her when did she decide to take the phrase 'shell of her former self' literally? I know she's looked like that for eons, but how much is a person supposed to talk about Maria Shriver in day to day life, realistically? When was the last time you thought about Loretta Swit's performance in 'The Best Christmas Pageant Ever'? Anyway, M.S. looked perfectly lovely in the '80s so--I don't know--did she get sick or something? Maybe I'm woefully out of touch (okay, there's not really any 'maybe' about it) and that disconnect has been keeping me from knowing the score on her, um...facial corners, augh, I feel so evil right now, but come on: Exoskeleton At Martha's Vineyard, right? Oh, Cthulu help us. Whatever, she could snap (fingers or body, well I don't see any of you performing reiki on her, who's to stop the process?) and have Corky's--er--Katie Couric's old post, and I will have still lost my birthday to dry heaving. Not as bad as My Super Sweet Hit-And-Run Sixteen, but...not good.

Gadzooks, kind of makes Shania's travails look mousey in comparison, no?

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 17, 2011 9:38 PM

My two very good friends, Justin and Kelly, won the Pun Off last year (I was there cheering them on), and this year, they will be defending their title. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h9mkRAw9_Y Watch!

Posted by: Amy at May 17, 2011 10:26 PM

I don't know about Belle, Pocahontas is looking pretty bad ass with her axes. Aurora, on the other hand, looks like a Sucker Punch reject (too much pink, obviously).

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