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My Name is Kobayashi. I Work for Keyser Söze.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (67)



Pete-Postlethwaite.jpeg

In light of the titillating Mila Kunislingus in Black Swan, Movieline ranks the classiest and trashiest lesbian scenes in cinematic history. Oh yes, last place is exactly what I hoped it would be. (Movieline)

Are you playing QRANK yet? You really ought to, it scratches that persistent smartier than thou itch a lot of us suffer from. Here’s an oblique hint for today’s game: The film “Unchained” is about a prison break. Become a QRANKhead, resistance is futile. (QRANK)

The number one thing I wish I had gotten for Christmas, “Doctor Who” matryoshka dolls. The woman who made these, and they’re incredible, is not selling them but my hope is that if I release a slavering horde of Pajibans on her, she might be break…er relent…er see reason. I want them! (Molly23’s Twitter Feed)

On the off chance that you don’t read xkcd religiously, and you don’t, like I do, wait a week or so to check the site so a few build up and you can get a big dose all at once so the geekery and the humor can flood your system, um, here’s the latest. Welcome to the club. (xkcd)

Here’s a gorgeously written review of Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Best line: “Nicki Minaj stands in front of the album cover’s grand red curtain, playing an omniscient narrator, then later shows up as a monster in the dark, mirroring West’s journey from unsuspecting hero to public villain.” (AudioSuede)

Here are Tarantino’s favorite films from 2010. I have to say, the last film on his list, Enter the Void, had me intrigued until I saw it was by the director of Irreversible. That’s not a film viewing experience I’m eager to repeat. (The Film Experience)

So that kid with the haircut and that vaguely Latina girl from the Disney channel (no, not the one in rehab, the other one) spent New Years frolicking together in bathing suits. Trust me, this is a big deal. . .like when Britney dated Justin or Brad dated Gwyeneth or Anthony Michael Hall dated Molly Ringwald or Frankie dated Annette (they didn’t) or Antony dated Cleopatra…just, trust me, it’s important to someone. (Just Jared)

Think Geek is having a big sale. I, for one, am eyeballing these Star Trek onesies for my nephew. Which color, you ask? The red shirt, naturally. (Think Geek)

My least favorite Arquette, ex-husband of my least favorite Friend, checked into rehab. I’m trying to muster some concern. Failing. (Socialite Life)

Well, the bad news is that we are, as a nation, watching more television than ever before. The further bad news is that we, as a nation, still have pretty poor taste. The good news, however, is it looks like Daniel Dae Kim will get to keep living the good life in Oahu. Love ya, Chewy, still won’t watch your horrible new show. (Warming Glow)

This week’s Pajiba Masthead tagline compliments of Paultera.

As we already reported, the lovely Pete Postlethwaite passed away this morning after a long fight with cancer. Here’s one of my favorite Postlethwaitian speeches…just soak in his gorgeous voice until your fingers get all pruney.

Joanna Robinson is your new link wench and cruise director. Be warned, Dustin pays her in booze and TK lent her the keys to the murdertank, so ruffle her feathers at your peril. You can send treasures you’ve found on ye olde internets to her at godtopuswept@gmail.com. Cheers!









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



"Slings and Arrows" Review | That Willful Suspension of Disbelief Which Constitutes Poetic Faith | The Ten Best Documentaries of 2010









Comments

BRING BACK FEIST!!!

Just kidding. Good luck, Joanna!

Posted by: Kballs at January 3, 2011 1:05 PM

Much approval for the new link wench.

Posted by: Rykker at January 3, 2011 1:06 PM

Yay, Link Wench!

Posted by: Paultera at January 3, 2011 1:10 PM

Welcome Joanna! Okay, whew, now I don't have to pretend I liked Feist.

Posted by: grace b at January 3, 2011 1:10 PM

What the....so you write a couple of bits here and there and suddenly you're promoted to Pajiba Love? Teacher's favorite. I'll get you in recess. Watch your back.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 3, 2011 1:11 PM

Joanna,

You are indeed a brave soul.

Kisses,
Mrs. Julien

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 1:11 PM

an oblique hint

No, it's the ANSWER.

Posted by: Jay at January 3, 2011 1:20 PM

Doesn't anyone remember 'Desert Hearts'?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at January 3, 2011 1:30 PM

Linking to Thinkgeek and xkcd. I think you'll do fine in Pajiba Love. Welcome.

Thanks for the mention but the masthead didn't change.

Posted by: Paultera at January 3, 2011 1:31 PM

Link Wray is one of my favorite musicians.

Where am I?

Posted by: Ian at January 3, 2011 1:37 PM

Posted by: arrrghzi at January 3, 2011 1:37 PM

Welcome, Joanna. Hopefully you have thick skin and are prepared for abuse.

That said, you have a lovely linkolletage this morning.

Posted by: MM at January 3, 2011 1:39 PM

Good luck Link Wench!

Posted by: Vee at January 3, 2011 1:39 PM

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson...

[raises glass to new Pajiba Lover]
[pants fall down]
[exeunt superasente stage left]

Posted by: superasente at January 3, 2011 1:41 PM

There it is. My level of excitement for having a joke at the top of the page directly conflicts the message of said joke.

Posted by: Paultera at January 3, 2011 1:47 PM

I loved Brassed Off.

Welcome Joanna.

Dustin: I think Pajiba needs a logo that's not ripped off from a TV or Movie. We've had plenty of wonder artwork shown here, just for Pajiba. Couldn't we use one of those?

I'd love nothing more than an original logo, BWeaves. I've wanted one for a long time. Problem is: I have no graphic design skills (outside of adding text to images), and while I love a lot of the other images that have been created over the years, it's mostly inside joke stuff, and I'm hoping one day (pssst, Skitz) to get an original logo that both fits the site and is broad enough not to alienate new readers or those not in on all the Jiba jokes. Something clean, simple, cool. -- DR

Posted by: BWeaves at January 3, 2011 1:53 PM

wonderful, not wonder

Posted by: BWeaves at January 3, 2011 1:54 PM

You must not like that nephew very much...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 3, 2011 1:56 PM

Hi Paultera:

Well, something changed. It was something like, "We don't know what it means" this morning, and this afternoon it's "Shush, grownups are talking."

Posted by: BWeaves at January 3, 2011 1:57 PM

And I, too, want the Doctor Who nesting dolls.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 3, 2011 2:00 PM

Man, I tried making it through 30 seconds of a few tracks on that Kanye album and I just don't get it.

Posted by: Mac at January 3, 2011 2:01 PM

I hate Mondays - I thought for a second that "8 yards longer than Titaniun" was this week's tagline, until I realized it was just one of the ads. That said, it does have a catchy sort of vague quality to it. Maybe I can print up some large signs and go picketing, undermine a Phelps family protest or something.

Posted by: Markus at January 3, 2011 2:03 PM

I'm kind of surprised the Mullholland Drive scene isn't higher on the list. That scene is classy as hell! For David Lynch. Can't argue with the top spot, though. First time I saw that scene in The Hunger was in a film class at college. I was very glad the prof didn't show the clip at the end of the hour.

And there's a new page for my comic up, click on my name. (Blame Dustin for this egregious break in decorum on my part.)

Posted by: RobP at January 3, 2011 2:05 PM

Oh! And 'gratz, Joanna. You've alredy created a lot of buzz around these parts!

/rimshot

Posted by: RobP at January 3, 2011 2:06 PM

Ha--your poor nephew!

I just started Qrank yesterday...I do love trivia, but am too slow to be a superstar on it, I fear. Ah well, it's fun.

Posted by: meaux at January 3, 2011 2:12 PM

The number one thing I wish I had gotten for Christmas, “Doctor Who” matryoshka dolls.

Brilliant. As we all know, nesting dolls ARE bigger on the inside.

Posted by: branded at January 3, 2011 2:18 PM

Hooray for Miss Joanna! I liked Feist, but I wanna motorboat JoRo...

Posted by: Trouble at January 3, 2011 2:25 PM

Yeaaaaaaaah for the new Link Wench! Welcome dear, put on your big girl panties and don't take any crap from anyone (not even BSlim).

Posted by: brite at January 3, 2011 2:44 PM

I'm sad to see you leave this task behind, Mr. Feist. I quite enjoyed your biting snark and tone! Unfortunately a good portion of your shared links were usually blocked, for me, so I never truly appreciated your efforts as they deserved.

Ms. Joanna, welcome, thank you for taking up the work! As a geek through and through, I'm already quite taken with you, thanks to the XKCD and Think Geek hits! :)

Posted by: lubeg at January 3, 2011 3:02 PM

Also DR, I'm pretty sure I'd be willing to buy a Pajiba t-shirt.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 3, 2011 3:03 PM

Thanks for the links and huzzahs for Joanna!

Posted by: JapJay at January 3, 2011 3:11 PM

Pajiba T-Shirt ideas could come in many forms.

There's the obvious choice:

"Pajiba: One Nation Under Godtopus"

Then there's movie references:

"PAJIBETTES, ASSEMBLLLLLEEEE!!!!!"

Sports references that sound pretty cool:

"Pajiba: Where Eloquence Happens"

Inside jokes:

"(FRONT) Only You Can Stop The Rainbow Killer!
(BACK)Pajiba!"

Or goofy taglines:

"Pajiba: Complete Nonsense"

I dunno. What am I, a fuckin' t-shirt machine over here?

Posted by: Kballs at January 3, 2011 3:30 PM

Yay for the new link master! I quite enjoyed all of these.

And Dustin, I'm a graphic designer; if you ever need someone to do a logo I would be happy to give it a shot.

Posted by: Marcela at January 3, 2011 3:31 PM

I didn't notice a new person was doing the Love today until I got to the xkcd link...and then I rolled back up to see who it is.

Yay, nerdy links!

Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 3, 2011 3:35 PM

Qoddamned QRANK!

Posted by: Shonda at January 3, 2011 3:35 PM

I can't help it, something extremely tacky in me still wants to give that particular Arquette a roll in the hay.

And I too am still a bit traumatized by Irreversible.

Posted by: Jerry at January 3, 2011 3:43 PM

No Caligula for that lesbian sex scene one?

Well...that's disappointing.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 3, 2011 3:45 PM

Yay Jo!
Get in line Trouble, I have been working this angle for MONTHS. {winks}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 3, 2011 3:47 PM

Well, Lwae you ARE closer, so you have natural advantage. Hows about we team up? SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO RESIST!!!! Muahahahaha!

Posted by: Trouble at January 3, 2011 3:54 PM

PAJIBA:
"Scathing Reviews, Feisty People"

Oh No...Lame...
Sorry I´ll go somewhere else now..

Posted by: UncleKaiser at January 3, 2011 4:29 PM

yay, pajibalove is funpie today. I like the new landlord.

Posted by: idleprimate at January 3, 2011 4:43 PM

Terrific links! Love to see fresh faces (wo)manning the gates!

Posted by: ChristianH at January 3, 2011 5:08 PM

1) Trouble, We can take her in shifts. The poor thing will be EXHAUSTED.

2) How is Tracer NOT all up in this?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at January 3, 2011 5:49 PM

Given Joanna is our self-proclaimed cruise director. I say we refer to her forthwith as "Julie".

Which begs the question, who is Captain Stubing?

Posted by: trib at January 3, 2011 6:30 PM

"...an original logo that both fits the site and is broad enough not to alienate new readers or those not in on all the Jiba jokes. Something clean, simple, cool."

So, like a human centipede, then?

Posted by: Craig at January 3, 2011 6:30 PM

My Name is Kobayashi. I Work for Keyser Söze.
---
THAT'S where I remember that face from.

Thanks.

And best wishes in the new gig, J.R.

Posted by: , at January 3, 2011 6:46 PM

@trib

I don´t get the reference, thought you meant "Julie Cruise"
Isn´t she the woman with(from, I mean from) Twin Peaks?

Posted by: UncleKaiser at January 3, 2011 6:49 PM

You guys? Please don't break the new Pajiba Love Goddess. There is a reason why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: greer at January 3, 2011 6:53 PM

No, Mr. Kaiser, noooooo.

There is a giant heart-shaped hole in your knowledge of what makes life worth living. I dearly hope it gets filled!

Posted by: Jay at January 3, 2011 7:05 PM

That clip was great. Look how young Tara Fitzgerald is.

Posted by: John G. at January 3, 2011 7:18 PM

@Jay
Loveboat was never that big in Sweden, but now that google is, I get the reference.
I´m smart that way...hrmmm
I sort of got it anyway.
Thank you for being civil about it.

Welcome Joanna, my memory of that other guy is already fading(mostly because of all the "learningjuice"/beer)

Posted by: UncleKaiser at January 3, 2011 7:18 PM

I'm so glad Feist is gone. I love the new lady. I love you new lady.

Posted by: wonderbreadhead at January 3, 2011 7:22 PM

Who broke the Qrank link. I finally decided to break down and try it and I can't get there.

(The Pajibans killed Qrank! You bastards! To be serious, I dunno what's up. You can still access it through the facebook thingmajigger. -Joanna)

Posted by: Paultera at January 3, 2011 7:50 PM

The people at AudioSuede have zero clue about hip hop. As soon as I read the statement that Lil Wayne pioneered _anything_ with Tha Carter III, I knew the blog was written by a bunch of young, white 20 somethings who knew nothing about hip hop.

That's really all I have to say. The review is interesting, but completely flawed.

Posted by: WD at January 3, 2011 10:06 PM

Congratulations, Joanna! In keeping with the "Love Boat" theme: as I delightfully cruise your links, I predict nothing but smooth sailing from here on out.

Now can you direct me to the nearest margarita bar, please? I heard this ship serves nothing but the finest tequila in the coldest of shot glasses.

Posted by: kootenay girl at January 3, 2011 10:50 PM

I'm glad that one sentence makes everything a credible writer says completely null and void. Glad your attention span can survive that long. You can correct a point, but jesus, one sentence. Half a sentence, even.

Also, the word "hipster" was old in 2009.

Posted by: ChristianH at January 3, 2011 11:53 PM

JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo - Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

The. End.

Posted by: Lainey at January 4, 2011 12:15 AM

Of course I'm not speaking to anyone involved in Pajiba Love. That was directed at a commenter. Just wanted to clarify that.

Posted by: ChristianH at January 4, 2011 12:15 AM

P.S. Kunislingus seems very hard to say at first, but once you're in the midst of it, it becomes much easier for your tongue to form the necessary consonants.

Posted by: ChristianH at January 4, 2011 1:22 AM

Welcome Joanna! This is the last time any of us will be nice to you ;)

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at January 4, 2011 4:34 AM

Yay, Link Wench!

Posted by: Paultera at January 3, 2011 1:10 PM

I have a set of link wenches in my toolbox, but of course they're metric.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 4, 2011 6:03 AM

I have a set of link wenches in my toolbox, but of course they're metric.

Joanna is universal.

Wa-hey, I think I just gave myself diabeetus.

Posted by: Rykker at January 4, 2011 6:10 AM

ChristianH - Yes, that is how credibility works. If I was reading a scientific journal and it included a line involving dinosaurs and jesus co-existing, I would lose all faith in the article and dismiss everything said. You would honestly press on in good faith?

As far as hipster, I guess I'm too old to use it properly. If people are extremely skinny/pale/flannel-y I just use it. I apologize if feelings were hurt.

Posted by: WD at January 4, 2011 6:19 AM

Get back, JoJo. Wouldn't worry about the thick skin hon...

*power rings a protective bubble around Joanna*

There now. Safe and sound. Away!

Posted by: Green Lantern at January 4, 2011 9:14 AM

I'm just saying, you seem to have completely disregarded context in favor of insulting a bunch of writers and attacking their credibility. You're a legend.

Posted by: ChristianH at January 4, 2011 1:14 PM

Oh, Christ

Posted by: Jay at January 4, 2011 4:16 PM

I THINK KANYES NEW ALBUM IS THE SHIT!!!!!

Posted by: Kanye at January 5, 2011 2:48 AM