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More Fassbender & Lawrence In The Next X-Men Movie? Plus, Girls Gone Wild Goes Bankrupt

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | March 1, 2013 | Comments ()


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Let's kick things off with a comprehensive list of every celebrity ever mocked on an episode of "South Park." Yep, that includes everyone from Tom Cruise to Barbra Streisand to Vladimir Putin to Andrew Lloyd Webber. Man, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are the most celebrated trolls in pop culture history, but they only get away with it because of that whole "satirical genius" thing. (Vulture)

Kanye West claims that he is so omniscient and all powerful that he's Michaelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney, and Steve Jobs all at the same time. So basically, he's saying that he's died four times and is the most powerful zombie in the universe. Hey, I'm trying to make sense of a Kanye West quote. Give me a break. (Pop on the Pop)

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In news that probably won't make you melancholic by any stretch, Joe Francis' revolting Girls Gone Wild conglomerate has filed for bankruptcy protection. Of course, he's only doing this in an attempt to escape his multi-million dollar gambling debts to the Wynn hotel and casino in Vegas. I'll never understand why people choose to ruin their lives through high-stakes gambling, but this couldn't have happened to nicer guy. (Jezebel)

Here's good news for smug, self-congratulatory vegetarians like myself. Taco Bell's beef had horse meat in it too. But only in Great Britain. Maybe. Also, Ikea Swedish meatballs have apparently been called out as well. God, this is one of the most disgusting stories out there today. (Gawker)

Mila Kunis is arguably one of the hottest young actresses buzzing around Hollywood today. However, she only looks good when she's styled well, and her looks on the London and Moscow red carpets (for Oz the Great and Powerful) are misses. It's nice that she left the Kutcher at home though. (Lainey Gossip)

Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence (hot off her Best Actress Oscar win) are both jockeying for more screen time in the upcoming follow-up movie to X-Men: First Class. Naturally, the only way to logically work in more of both of them would be through some hot mutant sex. Make it happen. (Celebitchy)

Mark Wahlberg and P. Diddy have teamed up to launch a new "performance water" beverage called AQUAhydrate because -- let's face it -- you secretly wanted to improve your athletic performance by drinking something endorsed by a guy who never goes without his Calvins and the dude who only dances with his arms. (Film Drunk)

Apparently, there's a Chris Brown and Rihanna storyline currently playing on "Law & Order: SVU," which will only make Rihanna more defensive about her "us against the world" mantra that she uses to justify getting back with her abuser. (Warming Glow)

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David Beckham is hitting back at rumors that he used a butt double in that new H&M underwear short film that was directed by Guy Ritchie. Really, was this an actual controversy? Just appreciate the interminable butt clench for what it is. (Daily Mail)

Jimmy Kimmel is in talks to host the Oscars next year. He wouldn't be so bad, but it would probably be an even more boring show than this year. Why hasn't anyone asked Bill Murray to do it yet? Bill would kill it, but he's probably got better things to do. (Page Six)

Sorry guys, but Beautiful Creatures is not the new Twilight. Is anyone really surprised about this? Needs more awful CGI werewolves. (Unreality)

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Heather Armstrong's Dooce blog turned twelve years old yesterday. I hate to say it, but I think Dooce's brand is coming to an unceremonious end. She made an incredible living for over a decade while sharing the details of her life, and the past year has seen her do nothing but post dog photos. I mean, these are some really fucking cute dogs, but still. (Dooce)

Have you ever wondered what Zero Dark Thirty would be like as a romantic comedy? You know, it doesn't look even halfway as offensive as your average Kate Hudson excuse for a romcom. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

If you've ever wondered what would happen if everyone on the Earth jumped at the same time, then this video is for you. Now they just need to make a video that will tell me what happens if everyone on Earth farted at the same time. (YouTube)

I could stare at dog and puppy videos for hours, and I feel like I have just to find this video of a Golden Retriever eating an ice cream cone. He's not as adorable as Timothy Olyphant eating ice cream, but he's a very close second. (YouTube)


Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • If ever there was a concept I thought would be bankruptcy proof, it was 'Coed gets naked, guy films it, sells it.'

  • profession: none, or starlet

    Nononononono, it's Fassbender and McAvoy who both need to be in the next X-Men.

  • logan

    Beckham is one hairy dude. Seems like he'd run faster if shaved his leg fur.

  • Bfabb

    I kept waiting for something interesting about everyone on Earth jumping, but then at 6:45 Felicia Day showed up, and everything was better.

  • Scully

    I've been reading Heather's (dooce) site since 2004 but a couple of years ago I just had to quit cold turkey. It isn't that she turned into a mommy blog. It wasn't the never ending dog photos. The ads didn't bother me. It was her self censorship that drove me away. And I understand why she did that, to a point. But it became so extreme that she was left with nothing of substance to write about. Now, I hear, she's writing posts sponsored and ABOUT products (Clorox?! REALLY?!) I wish her well. But girl has problems with her blog.

  • I'd been half-assedly reading Dooce for a while (it was something to do--she had nice photos but man her life's fucking boring), but stopped completely when she redesigned her site. It's impossible to navigate and it's just not worth the effort anymore.

    And I can't say I'm sorry to see that it's winding down. The whole world of people becoming rich by blogging about their lives and children is kind of ridiculous. The internet's saturated with silly people chronicling what they wore and how their children pooped that day, all trying to become Dooce or the Bloggess, and it's fucking exhausting. It shouldn't be a job, dammit. So, maybe seeing that even the big star can't last forever will be a good thing. That's one stupid trend that needs to end.

  • BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTS!

  • Bert_McGurt

    Mulatto butts?

  • David Beckham butts.

  • Mrs. Julien

    "Girls Gone Wild goes bankrupt"

    I trust you mean financially. Morally, that ship has long since sailed.

  • Slash

    I'm guessing what really killed "Girls Gone Wild" is the abundance of free tits on the internet. And free ass. And I'm guessing free everything else that anybody would normally watch GGW for. Why pay for it when stupid high school and college chicks are giving it away for free on Twitter and Facebook?

  • John G.

    I thought this tweet I saw was funny:

    ALEX BLAGG

    Girls Gone Wild filed for bankruptcy. LESSON: if you trick drunk teenagers into doing porn, you’ll only make millions for like 15 years.

  • Just this morning, I came across a story about dairy asking the FDA for permission to add artificial sweeteners to milk without having to put it on the label because some kind of bullshit about how consumers will make better choices if we don't tell them what's in their food. Earlier this week, there was a story about DNA testing in fish being sold as tuna revealed that less than half the tuna on the market (in restaurants and grocery stores) is actually tuna instead of some other kind of fish. And of course for years there's been a think about olive oil in the US frequently being all kinds of random other oils except anything actually extracted from olives. And there was a story about additives in orange juice--including stuff extracted from anchovies, making the orange juice no longer vegetarian--without any labeling included...
    In short, at least in the US, you apparently can't count on anything you eat being what it says on the package, and if you're vegetarian, you can't necessarily count on your diet being as purely vegetarian as you thought. I wouldn't get too smug about our meat, either. We've probably been unknowingly eating horse and yak and dinosaur and whatever for years.

  • emmelemm

    Shaking my damn head. This country really is a mess.

    Also, I like your octopus.

  • Why, thank you. It's an arctic vent octopus.

  • In short: Fuck it, let's plant some beans and raise our own chickens and eat nothing but that. Just beans and chicken. Can't even trust fruits anymore.

  • Sirilicious

    There's horse in fruit now?

  • Ponies.

  • Sirilicious

    *finally* a reason to buy (into) fruit!

  • It's enough to make me reconsider my city girl status (if Oklahoma ever managed to produce a city girl, it's me). Hell, there are already chickens in my neighborhood, and I have plans for a pretty decent vegetable and herb garden. Sneak in the goats I've been thinking about for a few years and get the apple trees in the backyard whipped into shape and right there I've got meat, eggs, dairy, vegetables...
    Of course, for this clever plan to really take shape, I've got to somehow get my seeds from sprout to fruit, and I keep stalling out with dead tomato seedlings, so farm or city, I think I'm stuck with food I can't guarantee is what I think it is.
    In good news, I was discussing this with a family memeber, who decided to email a local dairy that has stores all over the place here to ask if they'd be joining the dairy lobby wanting to put artificial sweeteners in their milk. Within less than ten minutes, he got a message back, very short, that said they weren't planning on adding anything to or changing their milk. So thanks, Braum's, for staying awesome.

  • Kballs

    Nothing trumpets love for your son more than getting his name tattooed above your stinker.

  • Is it considered a tramp stamp if it's on a guy?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Little J is seven and therefore endlessly delighted by bodily functions. He'd think it was hilarious!

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well, Joe Francis has been morally bankrupt for years, so I'm not surprised.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [doing that thing where one points at ones eyes with two fingers and then points at the other person's eyes]

  • foolsage

    A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat. Say no more.

  • I don't think that gesture means what you think it means. Or it doesn't mean what I think it means. [head explodes].

  • jollies

    [doing that thing where one taps one's nose with one's right finger while pointing at the other person with one's left finger]

  • $27019454

    doing that thing where one puts a home-rolled smoke to one's lips and inhaaaaales and hoooolds it, then passes it to the left and says "'ere."

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