web counter
 

Matt Damon Takes On The Powers That Be And Doesn't Even Bring His Magic Hat

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (33)

Matt-Damon-arrives-at-pre-001.jpeg

Hello my little freeze-dried packets of ice cream and frosty glasses of Tang. Did you watch the Discovery shuttle land this morning? Was it boss? Would it have been more bosserer if you had watched it from this home theater designed to look like a flight deck? Most assuredly. Some people have waaaaay too much money, non? (Unreality)

If I had that much cashola lying around, I might bid on this “Community” Season Three (!!) set visit and walk-on role. The auction has been verified as legit by the show’s creator Dan Harmon and if “Community” is indeed cancelled, Harmon has offered to cover your bid. So get on that! Do it for the Brie. (ebay)

Actually, if I can nerd out for a second (I know, when am I not nerding out), if I had a pile of cash lying around, I would spend it fixing this NPR debacle. In response to the Republican threat of defunding public broadcasting, all hell has broken loose at NPR. I’m just envisioning Ira Glass and the Tappet Brothers getting drunk at lunch every day. Save a seat for Terry Gross, fellas, she takes her whiskey neat. (The Moderate Voice)

Monsieur Matt Damon is similarly disenchanted with the government and their funding priorities. He’s called Obama out twice now. I’ve seen that man kill 20 men with his bare hands, Obama. You do not want an enemy in Jason Bourne. (Independent)

You know what else has the capacity to stop 20 hearts with one go? These cake-stuffed cookies. That’s right. These cookies HAVE CAKE INSIDE THEM. We need a third layer and some sort of pithy turducken nickname. Don’t speak to me of the cherpumple. It is an abomination. (Sugar Derby)

Fresh off his Oscar win, Trent Reznor has announced that he will be scoring another instant-classic, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I feel torn on this news. On the one hand, this terribly awesome film just got terribly awesomer, but on the other hand I was really hoping Reznor would score the new Blade Runner flick. (Gamma Squad)

So, I’m thinking of giving up Charlie Sheen for Lent but not before this last outrage. Sheen (and Evil Beet for that matter) bag on Jon Cryer. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH THE DUCK MAN. Come on guys, try a little tenderness. (Evil Beet)

In better Warlock news, I don’t know what witchery (yeah yeah, probably Google image search) is afoot on this site, but it was entertaining me all morning. Do not hesitate, click now. (Fuck Yeah Nouns)

In slightly more eloquent word news, here is a round up of some nice prints which incorporate recent film quotes. (The Film Experience)

And in the most eloquenter news yet, today is World Read Aloud Day and so I’ll leap at the opportunity to let you know that come September there will be a new Shel Silverstein collection to read aloud to your kids, or your pets, or your reflection in the mirror. Published posthumously, the book, “Every Thing On It” features previously unreleased poems and sketches. EXCITING! (Split Sider)

Alright, this fake trailer is kind of stupid (in a, frankly, amazing way), but it’s a concept based on a pun. A pun on the word “velociraptor.” I have no choice, really, but to present to you Velocipastor.

And, in conclusion, I present to you this rather dandy clip of Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House: Zombie Killer. Listen, I’ve been watching “House” for yeeeeeeears, and the episode I miss is, of course, the episode with zombies. Also, if Dr. House could kindly take his axe-cane to whomever has been doing the costumes for Amber Tamblyn this season, I would so appreciate it. She dresses like some over-stuffed child tart. It’s very strange.

Joanna Robinson will now read her favorite Shel Silverstein poem, “The Battle,” out loud: “Would you like to hear of the terrible night when I bravely fought the—No? All right.” Email Joanna your favorite Shel poem here: godtopuswept@gmail.com or follow her @quityourJRob









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

← Summing Up the Career of American Pie's Chris Klein Since Katie Holmes Dumped Him in 10 Movie Posters | Gary Oldman Career Assessment: Simply A Bloody Good Actor →









Comments

Last night I rewatched the zombie clip and the musical clip... about 3 times. I may have gotten a nerd-boner... a girl-nerd-boner-equivalent. Herein known as a NGBE.

"Good thing I brought my ax cane."

Posted by: Patty O'Green at March 9, 2011 1:13 PM

I hear you on the House thing, Joanna. It takes a special kind of wardrobe incompetence for making Harriet the Spy look like she's even younger... (also see: her bangs)

Posted by: seed at March 9, 2011 1:17 PM

The House episode sucked.

Fuck NPR. If they want to fire people for having opinions, they deserve it. Then the CEO apologizes because one of her employees has an opinion? An opinion that was expressed privately, not on the air? A private opinion by an employee who is not a reporter, producer, or on-air personality? Again, fuck them.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at March 9, 2011 1:18 PM

...oh wait, that was Michelle Trachtenberg, not Amber Tamblyn. Crazy white girls that look alike! The point is still valid, though.

Posted by: seed at March 9, 2011 1:19 PM

1. If it's any consolation, the zombie clip was the only palatable part of House last night.

2. Completely agree with Tamblyn's wardrobe. It's the worst I've ever seen on the show and that includes the fact that they dress Cuddy in clothes two sizes too small for her and they had Olivia Wilde walk around a hospital all day in four-inch stilettos without ever needing to sit down or have back surgery AND she was supposed to be in the onset of a disease that primarily affects ones balance.

3. I really wish celebrities on the left and right would shut up pretending they're somehow more entitled to political opinions than the rest of us. It's the main reason I started shunning the Huffington Post: op-eds on the state of the nation from John Cusack?

4. I love NPR. They have done some really stupid things recently and of course Schiller should have been fired, but I love them. They are the only radio remotely worth listening to within range.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 9, 2011 1:20 PM

The cake ball chocolate chip cookies do look enchanting, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Julien would divorce me for defiling a childhood icon.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 9, 2011 1:22 PM

TOTALLY agree on the Amber Tamblyn wardrobe. WTF? Loved all the dream sequences - zombies AND Hugh Laurie singing? YAY!

Posted by: fenchurch at March 9, 2011 1:23 PM

I *love* the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang quote poster!

Also, I may have made BSlim a little FUCK YEAH VIN DIESEL thingie with that web site...

Posted by: tamatha at March 9, 2011 1:31 PM

I ... You know I love you, right, JoRo?

It's role. ROLE. Not roll. That's something you eat, or something you do when you're on fire, or something your car does when you stop at the bottom of your steep driveway and forget to put it in park before you get out to get the mail out of the mailbox.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at March 9, 2011 1:36 PM

.... not that that's ever happened to me. No, sir.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at March 9, 2011 1:36 PM

The dream sequences were awesome. Loved them.

Thanks for the heads up on Read Aloud Day! I read part of the 'US Army Zombie Combat Skills' guide to two of my employees. We were just getting to the discussion of zombie combat in mountain deserts when they decided lunch was over and they had to go back to work. I've never seen lunch end so quickly. Zombies must inspire them to paint.

Posted by: Gabs at March 9, 2011 1:38 PM

Dear Anna von Beav:

Thank you.

Lots of love,

Samantha

Posted by: Samantha at March 9, 2011 1:39 PM

Thanks, chica, I literally stared at that word for 30 seconds earlier and was like, "That's right, right? Roll? Right? That's right. Totally right. It's right." And hit publish.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at March 9, 2011 1:40 PM

Today is World Read Aloud Day? How absolutely perfect for the book signing and reading session with Patrick Rothfuss I'm attending tonight. Are Pajibans reading The Kingkiller Chronicle series? No? Get on it.

Posted by: Scully at March 9, 2011 1:42 PM

I ran the name of my law school through the "Fuck Yeah" generator and it came up with a goofy, smirky picture of the ex-assistant dean. Fuck yeah, indeed.

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at March 9, 2011 2:11 PM

(OMG I totally feel like THAT GUY, now)

It's not just you, though, I've seen it a few times lately. It's like my pour/pore debacle from last week all over again.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at March 9, 2011 2:13 PM

Seriously, man, Charlie Sheen, WTF? Absolutely, crazy is as crazy does, have your meltdown, whatever. But DO NOT SHIT on Jon Cryer, who's put up with your shit for seven years or however long that show's been on the air, and gets paid way less than you, and he's Ducky, for fuck's sake.

Also, the Blade Runner quote poster is the best. (Sayeth I.)

Posted by: MM at March 9, 2011 2:24 PM

The space shuttle flew over my head right before lunch and the double sonic booms scared the shit out of me. I forgot it was landing today. Shook the whole house. It always takes me a minute to realize that my house has not been hit by 18 wheeler and that it's just a couple of sonic booms.

Posted by: BWeaves at March 9, 2011 2:24 PM

Anyone looking for good books to read aloud to kids should check out everything and anything by Mo Willems.

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive The Bus
Knufflebunny: A Cautionary Tale
and any in the Elephant and Piggie series.

You can also follow the Pigeon on twitter at @The_Pigeon.

Posted by: mswas at March 9, 2011 2:32 PM

I'm planning on celebrating World Read Aloud Day with an extra special nighttime story for my daughter:

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents..."

Posted by: branded at March 9, 2011 2:50 PM

Do "Eddie Izzard" on the Fu@k Yeah Nouns site.

Really, like now.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Mrs Smith at March 9, 2011 2:56 PM

The NPR debacle saddens me. Obama saddens me. The kind of sadness not even cake-stuffed cookies can remedy.

Posted by: nosio at March 9, 2011 3:19 PM

I take issue with PaddyDog and the whole "how dare we listen to celebrities on politics". I listen to smart, well informed people about issues, and sometimes disagree with them. The fact that someone is an actor does not automatically mean they have nothing interesting to say.

Oftentimes actors actually have MORE time to get spun up on an issue they care about because of the nature of their work. They end up with moments of intense focus, and then 10 hours sitting around with no immediate action. Sounds like the perfect time to do some serious reading.

Additionally, lots of folks in theatre spend time forced to look at their character/a scene/a line from multiple perspectives. The old "why am I supposed to be saying this? what's the backstory"? This is often the kind of rubik's cube noodling that can give some good insight.

Many of them are good writers, they understand the power of imagery and words, and can use them effectively. Again, something that helps explain complex problems to a broad audience.

I think it's quite hilarious that Republicans attack the very concept of someone from Hollywood speaking about political issues- yet they worship at the feet of Reagan as though he was pulled directly from a rib of Christ. This, in spite of the fact that Reagan's moniker "the great communicator" was a direct result of his time as an Actor!

George Clooney has been fairly politically active over the years, but his father was a serious reporter in Cincinnati and ran for Congress. On the Republican side, Tony Gwynn has been working on first amendment issues for at least two decades as part of the Creative Coalition.

And yes, there are the snookis and the Lohans and the Paris Hiltons of the world, but given that we listen to the musings of an oxycontin addicted self professed entertainer as a leader of the Republican party, I'm not buying the "celebrities are 'tarded man" nonsense.

Posted by: morganew at March 9, 2011 3:55 PM

Matt Damon needs to leave the politics to the adults. If the job of President was that easy- he'd be doing it.

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at March 9, 2011 4:58 PM

I didn't say people shouldn't listen to them: that's up to you whether you want to or not. My issue is with the fact that as soon as any celebrity (again, I stress right or left) forms an opinion, no matter how mis-informed, the media runs to cover it as if it's Buddha speaking to us from on high. Matt Damon (left) isn't a political commentator, neither is Kelsey Grammar (right). I don't need their opinions shoved at me on every media outlet as if they're worth more than the average person's. As a committed leftie politically-speaking, it embarrasses me that so many celebrities have such a poor grasp of politics and yet weigh in on the left side of issues as if their words have the weight of gold. There was a point during the 2008 elections when I thought Scarlett Johansson might actually be working for the other side because of her stupid comments about Obama. Thankfully, Chuck Norris balanced her out quite nicely on the other side.
In reality, one shouldn't follow anyone's opinion. One should read about the issues, get the data and make up ones own mind. But if one must take a position based on a third party opinion, listen to someone who has a working grasp of the issues.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 9, 2011 6:46 PM

I typed CANADA into the "fuck Yeah" generator and was pleasantly surprised. Good show.

Posted by: spoobnooble at March 9, 2011 7:17 PM

I don't mind celebrity opinions on politics if they actually know what they're talking about. If they don't, they should shut the fuck up. But that's a policy I wish everybody would follow, not just celebrities.

It doesn't help that dipshit talking heads encourage celebrities to weigh on shit they clearly don't know anything about.

Posted by: Slash at March 9, 2011 7:22 PM

Gah, I, too, am not crazy about celebrities making political statements. I go to them for entertainment, not to hear about their holier-than-thou waxings on politics. If Politico and Washpo writers start starring in my blockbuster movies, I'd be just as annoyed about that.

And look, most liberals are "disenchanted" with Obama. But only a celebrity like Matt Damon gets a whole article to himself about it - why? Because he's Matt Damon. The fact that he's a famous actor does not make him worthy of a political article, but people are gonna think his word matters just because he's Matt Damon. It's just annoying.

Posted by: denesteak at March 9, 2011 7:50 PM

Following off of what Slash said, did anyone watch the interview of Hugh Hefner with Piers Morgan on CNN when PM asked the Hef what he thinks can be done to fix the economy (I think that was the questions)? I was so fucking insulted when he asked that. Who the fuck do you think we are, Piers?

Posted by: denesteak at March 9, 2011 7:52 PM

"Fuck yeah..." + Paul Newman = *pass out*

Posted by: Shonda at March 9, 2011 8:53 PM

I did "Fuck Yeah Ryan Gosling" and got a picture of... Ryan Reynolds. Heh. Poor Baby Goose.

Posted by: Even Stevens at March 10, 2011 1:10 AM

Posted by: Even Stevens at March 10, 2011 1:12 AM

Posted by: Patty O'Green at March 10, 2011 10:06 AM