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Lindsay Lohan Blogging From Rehab Will, In Fact, Be the Best, Most "Adequite" Thing That Ever Happened to Me

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | May 1, 2013 | Comments ()


lindsay-lohan-charlie-sheen-in-bed-scary-movie-5-weinstein-company.jpg

GUYS! LINDSAY LOHAN MIGHT BLOG FROM PRISON REHAB! You might think "gross, why are you excited?" BECAUSE HAVE YOU EVER HEARD LINDSAY LOHAN TRY TO SOUND SMART? IT'S AMAZING. (NY Post)

Hey, trolls perpetuating that "fake geek girl" bullshit: Aisha Tyler will cut you with her words. And her hotness. And her general fantasticness. (Policy Mic)

Jet Blue posted a very sweet tribute to Jason Collins, which was incredibly impressive, as they were among the first brands to come out in support of Collins. I wanted to say that first, because the punctuation is actually killing me. "Thanks Jason, today we're all on the same team." You may not be able to tell by the nonsense I write here, but one of the biggest parts of my real life job is copy editing, and I want to write on the screen with my big red pen SO BAD, YOU GUYS. But that's not the point. The point is yay, and equality, and togetherness, and *attempts to pinch out comma with fingers* what was I saying again? (AdFreak)

We all know Shane Black is awesome, which is why I quote Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang on the daily (at work, usually. It's amazing HR hasn't been called yet.) But have you ever seen his actual scripts? They're super fun. (Vulture)

I adore when James Hughes writes about his father, John. Here he is talking about his dad's NHL fandom. (Grantland)

Guys, when did Joey Lawrence become gay Pinocchio? (Dlisted)

TINY FIREFLY CHILDREN. (Unreality)

What does it mean to be a nerd? What makes it such a magical thing? Wil Wheaton explains it to an infant girl, and I bookmark the link forever to show my Boodge when she's older. (The Mary Sue)

Okay, seriously, how does this mush-mouthed, dead-eyed foolio keep winning best dressed lists? She dresses like Downtown Julie Brown had a baby with Fiona Apple's Single White Female ex-roommate and then dropped it in a gutter (and I am specifically referring to this abortion right here). (Celebitchy)

The fifty most pertinent questions about the "Parks & Rec" porno parody, and he just about covers all my most pressing concerns. (Warming Glow)

Breakfast tacos? Is it TK's birthday? (Buzzfeed)

You know how people can be all, "oh, all girls love shoes. Shoes, shoes, omgshoes. Loubatins (however the fuck you spell that) and such." I'm not this person. I can get down with a nice pair of flats, but then I see shit like this and I DO NOT understand shoes, you guys. (Go Fug Yourself)

Finally, there's really only one way I could leave you, today, May 1st. Because it's gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna...

IT'S GONNA BE MAY.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • KaGe

    Why, why where those Shane Black scripts not posted five weeks ago? I needed scripts to analyze and recreate for my directing class and those would have been right UP my alley.

  • googergieger

    So Norm is back. This time in interwebs form. Great stuff.

  • Archie Leach

    I don't understand why folks are always picking on lindsay crackhan as, after all, linds is just a girl standing in front of the public asking them to leave her alone while she is a total fuckup.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I don't understand your comment about the comma but then I've been accused of comma abuse, before.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Commas, it is very subjective when, and whether, to deploy them.

  • ,

    Tell me about it.

  • Tinkerville

    Aisha Tyler is my spirit animal.

  • Leelee

    I read "Jet Blue posted a very sweet tribute to Jason Collins" as "Joan Collins" and had a small heart attack thinking Joan Collins had died.
    Now I'm going to have to do a thorough google-stalk to make sure she's all right before I can calm down.

  • Milly

    I would really like to see Danger Guerrero write some long form pieces here.

    He (and I presume it is a he) has from time-to-time written some long form reviews/celebrations of little seen films, but those 50 questions are just a glimpse of what he (again, that's a presumption) can do.

    Plus his/her obsession with 90's R'n'B (discounting that that music was neither rhythm nor blues).

  • Bodhi

    I would read the hell out of that blog

  • bleujayone

    Joey Lawrence has been Carrot Top's lifting partner since 1997.They are practitioners of the exercise regiment: "Relevant Thrust". It still doesn't offset the whole A.I. "Gigolo Joe" look he's currently sporting.

  • Drake

    I kinda miss JTL's poodle-doo.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'm providing my own link, for those in love with both GoT and Iceland - a contest to see the Iceland locations of the show

    http://bit.ly/ZWam6e

  • Melissa

    Unfortunately, Minnesota has decided it's winter again, as we are expecting 6-9 inches of snow. I told my boss I'm calling a snow day tomorrow.

  • delle

    Holy carp are you kidding?? Another nail in the coffin of the old 'Canada is way up north and henceforth always cold/colder than the US' myth...I live in southern Ontario, 2 weeks ago we needed a warm jacket most days with temps low 40s, and now all this week we've been getting sunny days and temps in the 80s. We get NO spring here, just cold to hot in the space of 2-3 weeks. I thought I was going to melt carrying groceries walking home after work today. I hate heat and love wintertime for the coldness. I will be thinking of your snow tomorrow when I'm sweating at the busstop and I will cry hot little tears of envy.

  • Melissa

    (Ok, before I start--you needed a warm jacket for low 40's? After a long winter, that's practically shorts weather!)

    And now, the craziest part? I biked to work yesterday, it was a balmy 78 degrees.

    Sadly, though, that's not even the biggest swing I've seen in my lifetime. In one 24-hour period we went from 30 below to 70 above. My body does NOT appreciate 100 degree temperature swings, let me tell you.

  • delle

    I'm originally from Newfoundland, I start going out in shirtsleeves while most people here are still wearing a scarf and gloves. What I can't get used to is the short winters and long wretchedly hot summers here; back home the weather never gets very warm, but it generally doesn't get very cold either. If the weather always has such drastic mood swings in Minnesota I have definitely changed my mind about thinking I would like to maybe live there some day..I think my body's temperature control system would short out trying to deal with those kind of temp differences! lol :)

  • F'mal DeHyde

    It was 39 this morning and I wore sandals and a short sleeve shirt in to work... granted, the A/C's been broken in the office and it's been about 84 degrees up there for five weeks, but I braved the cold this morning like a champ. I'm so proud.

  • delle

    Personally, I think you're a champ for working in 84 degrees...I'd be sitting there in a stupor, if not asleep under my chair all day long. If there was manual labour involved I'd pass out. I love the cold, even though I've never experienced hard cold like they get in Minnesota, but I am an absolute wimp when it comes to heat.

  • idiosynchronic

    I don't understand women's heeled shoes either. The straps I get though.

  • APOCooter

    I just had flashbacks to being a sophmore in high school and watching TRL.

  • lowercase_see

    No day is complete without a well-placed "I think you wouldn't know where to feed yourself if you didn't flap your mouth so much."

  • JenVegas

    I think Aisha Tyler just gave me a lady boner and I don't even play video games. Preach!

  • NateMan

    Shane Black is indeed awesome, He deserved Iron Man 3, and I hope he and Downey make beautiful music together again.

  • L.O.V.E.

    -- “Thanks Jason, today we’re all on the same team.”

    Bigger Deal? That an NBA player came out as gay, or that an entire fleet of airplanes did?!?

  • L.O.V.E.

    Hmmm, this does explain why John Travolta pilots planes.

  • firedmyass

    And when he does, he's always in the front.

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