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Let Us All Hope For Wino Forever, Plus Kevin Spacey Gives The Best Photobombs

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | May 3, 2013 | Comments ()


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You've already learned by now (thanks to Dustin) that chicks really dig beards (it's science), but research continues to suggest that dudes with facial hair get luckier than their smooth-faced counterparts. Stubble is okay, but I draw the line at neck beards and soul patches. (Mental Floss)

Lindsay Lohan's rehab merry-go-round adventure continues. Yesterday, she reportedly checked in to Morningside and then checked out two minutes later. She's right, she doesn't need rehab -- because you can't 12-step the "asshole" out of her. (Dlisted)

Most of us can agree that spoilers suck, and they're nearly unavoidable if you spend any time at all on Twitter. There's so much rage directed at people who gleefully spoil, and for good reason. What doesn't make sense, however, is that people are completely willing to watch movie trailers while also realizing that they spoil more than social media could ever hope to accomplish. (The Mary Sue)

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Speaking of SPOILERS, it sounds like Zack Snyder's upcoming Man of Steel reboot is fudging a key detail in regards to the Superman/General Zod dichotomy. I won't elaborate, but click through if you want the deets. (io9)

HBO is developing a pilot that will star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and will be produced by both Johnson and Mark Wahlberg. The series is conceived as a 30-minute dramedy that revolves around retired athletes who reside in Miami. As long as Dwayne goes shirtless and Michael Bay has no part in the project, this sounds like a great plan. (Vulture)

Great news, guys. Chinese scientists have been busily engineering deadly strains of the Avian flu by combining the H5N1 bird-flu virus (very deadly) with a 2009 strain of H1N1 (very transmissible between humans). Excuse me while I contemplate re-reading Laurie Garrett's The Coming Plague. (Kotaku)

This series of 23 reasons why Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp should get back together really brings back memories. Mind you, they shouldn't actually re-interface because two decades without contact have passed for a reason, but isn't it fun to fantasize? (Buzzfeed)

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Sadly though, there's not much of a chance for Johnny and Winona getting back together anytime soon. Why? Because he's finally gone public with his "very serious" relationship with blonde, booby flavor of the month, Amber Heard. (Celebitchy)

Shane Black talks about the pressure of directing and co-writing Iron Man 3, and he's cautiously optimistic. Also, I love how everyone sort of pretends that Iron Man 2 never fucking happened. (Grantland)

If you haven't heard of Amy Schumer, then it's only a matter of time because her new Comedy Central show scored the highest viewership out of all the network's season debuts. Schumer is touted as "a female-centric take on bro-comedy," and she sounds a lot funnier than, say, Sarah Silverman. (Warming Glow)

Steampunk has steadily run its course and now finds itself among the many things that hipsters will make fun of for sport. Still, how can you resist the Tinkerbell variant, Steampunkerbel? What a nice caboose. (Unreality.com)

Katy Perry managed to dress up in a gorgeous Vera Wang gown that highlighted her fantastic figure without looking completely tacky. Strange. (Go Fug Yourself)

Kevin Spacey was jogging through a Boston park and decided to make a cameo appearance in a very surprised lady's photo. He even shouted, "Photobomb!" God, he is so awesome. Anyone want to go running in Boston with me right now? (Gawker)

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Michael B. Jordan is being floated (by the internet) as a possible contender to play The Human Torch (or as I call the character, "Johnny Firepants"). The dude has received raves for his work on "The Wire" and "Friday Night Lights," so maybe it's time for him to cash in on some popcorn-crunching flicks. (Film School Rejects)

Some dork created a replica of Thor's hammer that supposedly fires 80,000 volts of electricity. For obvious reasons, this sounds like a terrible idea, and it doesn't arrive with shirtless Chris Hemsworth in tow, so no thanks. (Uproxx)

Finally, here's the dash-cam video of Reese Witherspoon getting arrested a few weekends ago in Atlanta. Clearly, girlfriend is channeling the drunken hillbilly version of Elle Woods.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Alyson McManus

    Really? Why all the Sarah Silverman Hate? She is in the top ten funniest people alive. All of you need to GTFO. Her show was groundbreaking in showing that gays aren't just twinks or skinny dudes. Seriously the show is fucking awesome.

  • poopnado

    DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? NO REALLY, WHO AM I? I'm pregnant?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!! I'm an AMERICAN. Beep boop bop celebrity entitlement.

  • Greg!

    Re Amy Schumer (whom I love): Nathan For You is the funniest show on basic cable. Do a review!

  • TheAggroCraig

    So I should grow my beard back? I don't know, man, it never seemed to help me much. And I'd have to wear those stupid beard-nets at work again.

  • Robert

    Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer have completely different styles.

    Scratch that. After falling on her face on Last Comic Standing because she was just riffing on what Sarah Silverman has done for over a decade without any of the subversion, Amy Schumer developed a strong and unique comic voice of her own. She's not an improved Sarah Silverman. She's a completely different comic thanks to emulating Sarah's style at the start of her career.

  • Salieri2

    I caught her standup show and part of the new sketch thing. Loved the former, hated the latter. Her stand-up material is clearly well-crafted and idiomatic--she's got great delivery--but the sketches were weak and sad.

    Kind of the same thing with Wayne Brady, who, live, KILLS IT, but on 'Whose Line' and 'HIMYM' is über-meh.

  • e jerry powell

    HBO has been pushing sports dramedies since Delta Burke was thin. This is just a way of keeping an HBO noose around Marky Mark's neck.

  • John W

    What is this I-R-O-N M-A-N 2 you speak of?

  • BlackRabbit

    I know there's a fan for everything, but I liked Iron Man 2. It was 75% as good as the first, true, but it wasn't like Highlander 2 levels of suck.

  • chanohack

    It had 100% more Johansen boobies.

  • emmelemm

    I thought Amber Heard was a self-proclaimed lesbian.

    But then, what do I know?

  • MrsAtaxxia

    I think the publicist-friendly version was bisexual, but in a long term lesbian relationship.

  • Maguita NYC

    Johnny Depp has been looking butch for a while now.

    But you are right, she considered herself a lipstick-lesbian, and I believe made it official before the red carpet for Rum Diary.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Did Witherspoon's husband throw her under the bus? "I'm sorry, I had nothing to do with that" after she gets put in the back of the car.

  • Maguita NYC

    Quite honestly, after watching the other tapes of the arrest, especially the one where she was having a conversation with her husband in the back of the patrol car, not only as a celebrity representative he seemed quite annoyed with her behavior, but also, to me Reese Witherspoon did not sound one bit drunk.

    On the contrary, she sounded quite eloquent and un-slurred.

    She had also stated time and again after the fact, that the patrol man exaggerated by asking her repeatedly to stay in the car, which she didn't, and putting her under arrest for obstruction of "his justice" was silly for she is a tiny woman.

    She just does not get that when it's late at night and a cop has pulled a driver over, it is the police officer who is most at risk. Officers have no idea who they're arresting, and how a situation could develop. Asking her to stay in her car was for his own safety.

    Refusing to do so, Reese put the officer in a difficult situation where he had to now deal with two people out of the car, instead of just one. When an officer of the law asks you to stay in the car, you stay in the f-cking car.

  • DeltaJuliet

    Hell I would have done the same thing if my supposedly adult spouse was acting like that as *I* was getting arrested.

  • sharpascanbe .

    Remember, no matter how hot she is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit.

  • MrsAtaxxia

    Jesus that picture of Johnny kissing Winona's nose actually makes my heart hurt it's so beautiful.

  • Maguita NYC

    That Drunken low-grade Reese Witherspoon is too funny!

    "I'm an American citizen! I have the right to stand on American soil!" Elle Woods never sounded more precious. Made me wonder though when she asked "Do you know my name" if that is how celebrities get off scott free in LA.

  • Mrs. Julien

    she sounds a lot funnier than, say, Sarah Silverman

    To be fair that describes most everything: other comedians, flayings, Twilight fanfiction, gout.

  • Maguita NYC

    Sarah is funny in very tiny doses. She just doesn't know when to stop and let people enjoy the joke (she's the female Andy Dick without the flashing of penis and falling drunk all over strange men).

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm funny in very tiny doses too, but you don't see me climbing up on a stage and annoying people. Well, not a literal stage.

  • Bert_McGurt

    "...you don't see me climbing up on a stage and annoying people."

    Ummmm, could we, though? I know I'm not the only one who'd attend.

  • The Other Julie

    We saw her perform in our town on one of her tour stops last week and thoroughly enjoyed it. To each his own...

  • Maguita NYC

    Re: Lindsay Lohan Rehab... "you can’t 12-step the “asshole” out of her".

    This! Although I have been hearing of people looking into programs for assholism, I'm quite sure there are at least 24 steps and the minimum stay is for 9 months.

  • koko temur

    Wait, the cure for assholism is being pregnant?!

  • Maguita NYC

    That is too funny, I did not even see it until you pointed it out! Guess so.

    Sadly though, I hear some fail the program and make daily appearances on STFU Parents.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    or Teen Moms *shudder*

  • "Speaking of SPOILERS, it sounds like Zack Snyder’s upcoming Man of Steel reboot is fudging a key detail in regards to the Superman/General Zod dichotomy."

    I'm admittedly not a comic book zealot, but this "key detail" seems to be about as important to the movie as whether a black guy plays Human Torch. Between this, the Iron Man 3 complaints, and people whining about the skin color of a man who is on fire 80 percent of the time, the comic book contingent is coming off awfully ungrateful of late.

    Comic books have never been more popular. The characters these fans grew up reading are now fully realized screen icons with $200 million budgets at their backs. Enjoy what you have and stop complaining that talented filmmakers -- who are ADAPTING source material -- have the nerve to create their own vision and mythos for a fictional character, OK?

    /Friday rant

  • Bert_McGurt

    Eh, the "detail" is more akin to say, Batman's parents dying in a car crash instead of in the alley, or the FF being transformed by some alien being instead of cosmic rays, or Uncle Ben succumbing to a heart attack instead of the escaping thief. It removes some of the impetus of the character that drives them to do what they do. In each case the hero, be it Supes, Bats, Reed, or Peter feels "at fault" - like they need to "atone" for the tragedy, and it's a significant part of their motivation. It's not the same as changing his skin colour.

    For the record, I could give a f*ck if the Torch is black, and from what I hear IM3 is pretty damned good. So it's a little unfair to paint the entire "comic book contingent" with one brush like that. Also, first point aside (because the race-swapping thing is, I agree, a stupid complaint) - people have been complaining about comics and continuity for decades (well before this latest film boom). Somebody's bound to be disappointed by ANY film adaptation, and they're going to complain because the internet. As long as it's a legitimate complaint comic book fans can express their dissatisfaction just the same as fans of any other kind of adaptation or really, any films they watch.

    I mean, we're not holding anyone's feet to the fire for complaining about the (mostly) sh*tty horror movies, or 80's TV show adaptations we've been getting for the last 15 years or more.

  • chanohack

    I don't know... I kind of think it's more akin to Bruce's parents being alive the whole time. Or Uncle Ben getting mugged, but not killed. I think it's got potential to really change the character in his motivations and reactions to other people.

    And for the record, I too give zero shits about the skin color of the Human Torch.

  • It's certainly not directed toward everyone who enjoys these movies, and yes, everyone is entitled to their right to complain. But comic books fans have never had it better. Maybe we should just enjoy that we're getting three Iron Man movies in six years and a hopefully decent FF movie rather than nitpicking stupid shit because the Internet gives us that ability. This feels more like petty whining than legitimate criticism, but again, I'm not a huge comic book guy so I don't really know.

  • Bert_McGurt

    That's reasonable. I'm a fairly big DC fan, and the news certainly gave me pause, but I can see why it might look like a minor detail. Unfortunately, it's hard to elaborate on why I think it's an integral element of Superman without spoiling it for other commenters.

    Mind you, I can also see how it could be used to great effect in the story, and maybe Snyder can pull it off well. If he does, great - I love to see different creators toying with the elements of favourite characters in order to tell different stories. But if Man of Steel fails to show me a compelling hero then this could turn out to be part of the reason.

    Basically, I'm more interested in waiting to say that it DID suck because they changed it, rather than prematurely saying it WILL suck because they changed it. But ultimately I still hope it doesn't suck.

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