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Leading Men Age But Their Leading Ladies Stay The Same, Plus Alec Baldwin's Head Explodes

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | April 26, 2013 | Comments ()


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Just in case you didn't get enough of Silver Linings Playbook the first time around, an alternate, 4-minute ending has been released. It's not that great, but if you really like the characters, you'll enjoy the banter. I am pleased to see Bradley Cooper without his new perm. (MTV)

Justin Bieber's experiencing what some would consider to be a very bad year. He's just had a drug bust, plus the monkey drama and the public temper tantrums and the new bangs. Frankly, it's difficult to keep track of it all, so thank goodness there's an official timeline for this mess. (Popwatch)

For the love of God, Gwyneth Paltrow has overexposed herself in more ways than a few in the past month. She was on that "restrictive diet" book tour for weeks, and now she's promoting Iron Man 3. This time, she's gone too far by flashing a middle finger towards the haters in the form of the Goop-butt baring dress. Click through for the full effect. (Celebitchy)

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The captioner who described one of the Boston marathon bombing suspects as "Zooey Deschanel" has apologized and says that he regrets his actions. I still don't understand how this happened. (Page Six)

Jessica Alba felt the need to announce that she wore a double corset in an effort to lose baby weight. While I don't doubt that such an undergarment helped Alba retain some muscle tone in her abdominal area, corsets don't cause anyone to burn calories. Liposuction, on the other hand ... cough. (Us Weekly)

A Seattle-area school has banned any "grinding" dance moves from the senior prom. Okay, that makes sense, but I hope they realize that these teenagers are probably going to have sex anyway after the dance ends. For no reason at all, here's a slightly related tidbit -- my own prom dress was a purple version of Stephanie Seymour's "November Rain" gown. (Warming Glow)

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Matthew McConaughey's mom sounds like a good time, alright, alright, alright. She wants to remake The Graduate with herself playing the Anne Bancroft role, and guess who would be taking over for Dustin Hoffman? McConaugheyhey himself. For the record, this is her idea, not his. (Film Drunk)

Speaking of The Graduate (in a sense), this is a rather sobering look at line graphs that illustrate the love interests of 10 middle-aged leading actors in Hollywood. Liam Neeson is 60 years old, and his latest cinematic leading lady is ... Olivia Wilde, aged 29. Nobody will even blink an eye at this discrepancy, but if the gender roles were reversed, you had better believe that critics would be making Mrs. Robinson jokes. (Vulture)

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Sure, you probably already know that David Bowie has just released an album. However, it's worth mentioning that David Bowie completely orchestrated the entire concept of an album instead of pulling what Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, and Lil Wayne do as a means to monetary success -- record a few catchy singles and lazily toss some filler crap in there for good measure. Sadly, we know that Bowie's record won't sell nearly as well as it should. (The Rumpus)

Naturally, I am positively creeped out by this video of 17-year-old Ireland Baldwin "twerking" and willingly shaking her booty for the camera. At the same time, I simply can't wait for the video footage of Alec Baldwin's head exploding into a million ragey pieces. (IDLYITW)

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Gentlemen, this is the reason that you never, ever hide a diamond engagement ring within a lady's drink or food. Because if she's going to be wearing it on her finger for years to come, you certainly don't want it coming out of her ass. Also, what if she says no? Then you're stuck with that shit forever. (Jezebel)

Hulk Hogan has gone to court in an attempt to remove all evidence of his sex tape from the internet. Obviously, he won't succeed in removing every trace of that nastiness, and he'll never be able to remove those images that are already seared into our collective minds. Sashimi. (Gawker)

Regardless of whether you've ever had the distinct pleasure of "stair training" a puppy, I think you'll agree that this video of puppies scuttling, rolling, and sliding up and down stairs is perfectly adorable. The winner? Cone dog. (Blame It On The Voices)

Finally, this last video features Tom Cruise attempting to remember the most famous lines from his most iconic movies. He pretty much fails miserably because Xenu has recrafted him into an empty vessel. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Xavier Greenstamps

    We've all known for years that Pajiba has a skewed view of sexuality, but if the men of Pajiba (is that an oxymoron?) ever actually had the inclination to have sex with a woman, they might try it with a woman several decades their junior, which is, despite what Agent Buzzkill might suggest, absolutely awesome.

  • My husband put my engagement ring in a tiny ziploc-type baggie inside a MOLTEN CHOCOLATE cake. When I found it - fortunately NOT by breaking a tooth - I was *furious*. I could have choked to death on that thing!

    I swear, if that ring weren't so damn beautiful, I might actually have said no just because of the insanity of the ring-in-food trope. ;-)

  • Richmond_pope

    Sad to say, in Hollywood terms, they're pretty much the same age.

  • John G.

    you had better believe that critics would be making Mrs. Robinson jokes

    Jokes? If a 60-year-old actress was paired with a 30-year-old actor in a major motion picture, like an action film, like a Liam Neeson film, people would lose their mind. All the 13-year old boy-men and their boners wouldn't know what to do.

  • Quatermain

    If I were a chick and if I were in the kind of shape that Gwyneth Paltrow is in and if I were the kind of chick that could afford a dress like that...I would totally rock a dress like that.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I've always said that if I was built, I would dress like what we used to refer to as a slut.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    As much as I dislike Paltrow, her ass was the best thing about that outfit.

  • Slash

    ok, the puppies on the stairs: adorable.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    That puppy video just made my Friday! Thank you!

  • BWeaves

    I love how the older dogs are helping the younger ones learn the stairs. It reminds me of my 6 year old self showing my baby brother how to go down the stairs one butt cheek at a time, so he didn't kill himself. He was always climbing to the top, so I took it upon myself to show him how to come down safely.

  • Puppies helping each other on stairs! My heart just unshriveled an iota. One.

  • GotChewZ

    I have a dog. I have stairs. But I never put him as a pup, to do this sort of thing. And he can use the stairs pretty well. So don't tell me, this is some sort of Mr. Myagi-Bullsh--, because it's not.

  • kirbyjay

    I had no problem with it until the hardwood stairs. Don't make your puppies go down hardwood stairs. They'll get an ouchie

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Without clicking on the Ireland Baldwin link because a) I don't need to see teenager girls shake it b) I don't care about Ireland Baldwin c) I try not to feed internet sites that post (and shame?) videos of teenage girls trying to be sexy -- so what's so out there about her doing this? When I was a teenager I did all kinds of stupid posing, attempted-sexy picture taking - dumb things like that to try to figure myself out. Nowadays girls do it via video. It's more damaging, but it's really just the same thing.

  • e jerry powell

    Yes, but still, this is probably going to get us some really choice Basinger voicemails as Alec goes ballistic.

  • The pug that hops up the stairs is wonderful.

  • Arran

    Has Matthew's mother actually seen The Graduate?

  • dizzylucy

    I seriously hope not, because if she has...ew.

  • GotChewZ

    Is it just me, or are these dog-stair-exercises really cruel.

  • foolsage

    If you live in a house with stairs, your pets need to learn how to use the stairs. That's not cruel; nobody's trying to make these dogs suffer.

  • Rochelle

    My favorite dog and stairs funny: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogs...

    I miss you Hyperbole and a Half!

  • Captain Ron Swanson

    Allie's book is coming out in October!

  • Rochelle

    I have already pre-ordered it. *happy dance with broom*

  • Lee

    THANK YOU Bedhead for bringing up my hatiest hate about Hollywood - the old men with young women. Can you imagine the eruption of outrage (especially from men) if an action film had someone like Channing Tatum paired with a 60 year old actress as the love interest? This double standard never ceases to amaze me.

  • Quatermain

    What never ceases to amaze me is that people are still amazed by it. What did you expect? That's the way Hollywood has worked for time out of mind.

  • Heh, yeah. Do that graph with Cary Grant, then start crying.

  • Yocean

    You know, some men hates that older man young girl coupling Hollywood's been pushing since beginning. That is a reality for economically stricken third world countries but we are not that. It benefits only small percentage of rich male. I do get very ragey about it that I will never meet a soul mate till I'm rich and old :P

  • oilybohunk7

    I read trashy books (so sue me!) but I get ragey if it centers around a young, helpless naive virgin that needs the older, more experienced, world-wise billionaire to swoop in and rescue her. Puke.

  • Xtacle Steve

    I'm okay with it. In fact, I encourage it. I'm currently writing a movie about a lonely older woman living in rural Alaska (Judi Dench) who meets a handsome younger gentleman (Harrison Ford) and begins a heated love affair over their shared love of sled racing. I would describe it as 9 1/2 Weeks meets Sled Dogs. So far, I've been turned down by every studio, but Vivid said they'd be interested if I substituted Harrison Ford with four guys.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    I think the best way to do it would be to set it up as a divorced older couple who both happen to start dating younger people the same age. And you could play them off each other a bit, you know? The former husband scoffing that his wife's younger boyfriend is just with her for the money, and then realizing how much he's bought his girlfriend. The wife scorning her husband for so clearly picking a new partner based on looks rather than personality, and then realizing she has no idea what her boyfriend is talking about over dinner. Not sure about how it would end, but it would be cheerful and everyone would learn a valuable lesson of some kind or another.

    I mean, in addition to the porn version, because obviously that has to happen too.

  • **I AM** NotTheOne

    Kickstarter? Cause I'd watch the hell out of that.

  • luthien26

    Not gonna lie, the puppies and stairs videos made me laugh out loud. I'm going to hell, aren't I?

  • dizzylucy

    Don't worry, you'll have company. My favorite was at 0:25, the dog who just barrel rolled down the stairs and then kept walking like nothing happened.
    Though the bouncing pug was a close second.

  • oilybohunk7

    Yes! The barrel roll was my favorite too!

  • Leelee

    The puppy + stairs video has made my day.

  • kirbyjay

    I just favorited that puppy vid so I can watch it when the world sucks

  • e jerry powell

    I am making up a puppy dance now.

  • foolsage

    Mine too. The end has the best bits IMO; the corgi stuck on the step, the hopping pug, and the adult dogs helping the puppies down the stairs.

  • BendinIntheWind

    I would absolutely adore GOOP's dress if the sheer panels on the bottom were solid. The colors and panels and slightly sci-fi-ness are so, so great, but GURL. PUT IT AWAY.

  • LexieW

    Agreed! Looks like we're in the minority.

  • Kala

    While I don't care for the dress, I am offended by the mismatched earrings.

  • Jessie

    OMG Bedhead, a purple November Rain prom dress?! Respect, woman!

  • emmelemm

    I know, I'm totally in love.

  • Mariazinha

    Pleeeeeeeease give us pictures!!

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