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Lady Gaga's Little Monsters Better Keep Their Damn Claws Off Adele

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (36)



adele1.jpeg

Happy Tuesday, my darlings. Let’s dive right in, shall we? Oh, hey, speaking of diving, here is a nifty little photo essay on the faces divers make right after taking the plunge. In my expert opinion, it’s a combo of O-face and Oops I Crapped My Pants. (Go To Public School)

Dustin continues his streak of awesome over at Uproxx with this perfect list entitled “10 Living Oscar Winner Who’ve Since Made At Least 5 Straight Rotten Films.” It’s just a thing of bea-WHAT? WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NO YOU DID NOT INSULT K-PAX. (Uproxx)

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEVIN SPACEY! (There be sound in that thar link, worker bees.)

I’m pretty sure Feist recorded her new album, “Metals,” just for me. I mean, it comes out the day after my birthday (just like Beverly Hills Chihuahua did!), what further proof do you need? (Spin)

Speaking of lady singers I love, the charming and dementedly talented Adele was nominated for a whole slew of VMAs. That doesn’t surprise me, I watched the video for Rolling In The Deep approx 12 jillion times. Apparently her success ticked off Lady Gaga’s fans who have decided to ridicule Adele and her weight. It’s Esperanza Gate all over again. I dunno, I guess I’m surprised because I’ve always admired Gaga’s strong message of peace, love, understanding, and anti-bullying. I’m disappointed that some of her Little Monsters appear to not be listening. (Celebitchy)

Ah but, bullies come in all shape and sizes. Take, for example, this story of a black high schooler from Arkansas who was made to share her Valedictorian honors with a white student with a lower GPA in order to avoid ‘awkwardness.’ Sometimes I read these stories and I cannot believe they come from this decade. I call them Delorean Stories. Great F*cking Scott, indeed. I sincerely hope some folks in the administration (the bullies in question) lose their job over this. (Angry Black Lady)

Speaking of black students who graduated with honors (magna cum laude from Harvard, ahthankyouverymuch), our president gave a speech last night on the Debt Crisis. Here, (fuzzily) word clouded for your pleasure, are Obama’s speech (in blue) and Speaker Boehner’s response (in red). You can click on either to make them larger if you so choose.
obama.jpg

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I don’t know that there are any revelations to be found in this particular word cloud other than they reflect my general sense of the speeches which was Obama (as is his wont) spent the majority of his speech asking us, as Americans, to rally, be the best versions of ourselves and sacrifice a bit to turn the economic situation around whereas Boehner spent the majority of his speech blaming Obama for the current economic climate. Um, may I refer the Speaker to the following chart? (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Speaking of words and word choice, Grant Barrett, host of NPR’s “A Way With Words” (geeky guilty pleasure!), has crafted a response to last week’s controversial BBC article on Americanized English and how it’s ruining The Mother Tongue. You must read to the end for the snark-laden letter. (BBC)

Ah, Brits, you know I love you. I eat your pop tart culture for breakfast. For example, here’s a fantastic Weasley-themed T-shirt from Hobo Trashcan that I covet. Also, thank you to Lauren for pointing out the newest James Hance designs including this amazing Doctor Blue design.
 Doctor Who) by James Hance.jpeg

And speaking of the Good Doctor, here he is, in all his rude, not-gingery glory introducing an extended clip from his new film Fright Night. According to our good friends over at Film Drunk, “there’s plenty of David Tennant in tight leather pants for all you female Doctor Who fans. All two of you.” Ahem, oh, Film Drunk, I think you’ve not met my readership.

Joanna Robinson loves you all, but the next time one of you is a rude little not-gingery monkey she’ll tell you to “Midori yourself, douchebag.”









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Two New Reasons that Have Nothing to Do with Gratuitous Lesbian Bondage to Watch NBC's "Community" | Where I Slap You Upside the Head with Gorgeous New Looks of Really Pretty People in Movies that Look Really Great









Comments

Don't you remember? Vince doesn't think geek and girl are compatible. All ya'll just panderers.

(Did I really just use the phrase "all ya'll?")

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 26, 2011 1:06 PM

I often make fun of the South and I'm often criticized for it by people claiming I'm just perpetuating out dated stereotypes. The South isn't really backward or racist anymore they say.

Thank you Arkansas for proving me right! In Arkansas you cant just let a black girl be valedictorian! What will people think?!

That Arkansas is still backward and racist.

Posted by: logan at July 26, 2011 1:14 PM

Oh, Arkansas and your ability to casually make me burn in shame. You never fail to disappoint when it comes to doing awful, awful things.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at July 26, 2011 1:17 PM

So if racism doesn't exist anymore, as many conservative people would like to tell us, why would there be any worry about a black valedictorian? The opinion validation is sadly not worth the shame.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 26, 2011 1:22 PM

"...All two of you."

Really? Really? Okay, homes. Feel free to think that you live in a world where there isn't HORDES of pussy being thrown in David Tennant's direction.

Alright, back to what's important: Tennant in leather pants.

All that hair freaked me out. I wouldn't have recognized him without the voice. Much nicer when he took everything off. Those pants could have been a bit lower, by the way.

I had no interest in seeing this movie. Now they're going to get all of my money. I blame you Ms. Robinson.

Posted by: Kala at July 26, 2011 1:23 PM

Oh I am SO torn. The preview for this before Captain America (yes, my husband dragged me to it) last night looked like a clever movie but I am not a fan of violent scary movies AT ALL. But then this. Torn is what I am.

Posted by: Anne At Large at July 26, 2011 1:38 PM

Initially, they had me at Colin Farrell. Now, with this clip?

Yeah, Fright Night's getting all my money too. This is gonna be AMAZING.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at July 26, 2011 1:39 PM

Every time I hear bad things about Arkansas, I invoke my mantra: Arkansas gave us Johnny Cash, it can't be all bad.

What I don't get from the story however is how the news report can claim the school is predominantly Caucasian when 46% of the school is Black. That means that even if there are no Hispanics at all, there are 54% White students and that's hardly predominance. It's a bad enough story that speaks for itself without some journalist trying to jazz it up.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 26, 2011 1:45 PM

*cough*

The James Hance link includes Firefrog designs.
Kermit.
Browncoats.

Need I say more?

Posted by: Lauren at July 26, 2011 1:49 PM

"Take, for example, this story of a black high schooler from Arkansas who was made to share her Valedictorian honors with a white student with a lower GPA in order to avoid ‘awkwardness.’ " And WHAT the EFF is this b.s.? That makes me wonder what decade we're living in as well. So many things wrong with this I think my brain just short circuited. GRRR! Racism is alive and well, apparently!

Posted by: Gigi at July 26, 2011 1:52 PM

I LIVE in the South and still had to read Angry Black Lady twice for the news to sink in. (And for me to make sure this really happened in the 21st century.)

Southerners are as bass-ackwards as they come, but this kind of in-your-face racism is like something out of an old movie. I'm gobsmacked. This high school ---and school district---need to be tarred and feathered on national news.

Still, logan, you're only partially right.

Posted by: Stinky at July 26, 2011 1:52 PM

Kala:

I completely agree. Those pants certainly could have been lower. In fact that clip, while good, would have been so much better if he had continued with the disrobing instead of stopping at the pants. Nonetheless, this movie had my $12 at
"well, maybe not the omelette".

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 26, 2011 1:56 PM

Logan

While I admit the south has a lot to answer for, I think it's a mistake to assume that racism happens there because it's the south. Racism happens all over the country, in places like New York and California and anywhere else you can think of. Racism in a particular region isn't special somehow. That shit is everywhere.

Posted by: phaedawg at July 26, 2011 1:58 PM

I read about the Arkansas valedictorian yesterday and just thought I'd throw this in here: she's a teenaged mother. (Which in no way detracts from her accomplishments; in fact, it makes her academic achievements more impressive, if possible.)

But it's clearly a double whammy: not only do "they" (school administrators, town, whatever) not like that she's black, they don't like that she's a teen mother. Bible-thumping fuckheads. (Sorry, had to throw it in there. And by Bible-thumping, I mean people who use the Bible as a cudgel, not all people who read the Bible.)

Posted by: MM at July 26, 2011 2:07 PM

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 26, 2011 1:45 PM


Eh you DO realize "hispanic" is not a race, RIGHT? There are whites (descended from the Spanish Europeans), blacks, indigenous and mixed. Anglos are not the only white folk

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 26, 2011 2:08 PM

I know racism is everywhere. I live in Michigan and I've seen plenty of it here. Were just more subtle. I had an old boss who didn't interview a qualified candidate because the name on the resume "sounded like a brother".

But for in-your-face-racism you cant beat the South for my money!

Posted by: logan at July 26, 2011 2:18 PM

Yup, Slim. I have more than a passing acquaintance with the world which is WHY if you read my comment again you will see that I wrote that to show that whether you count or discount Hispanics you still don't have a predominance. I hate sloppy reporting. I hate the fact that they tried to build this up with the numbers and the mother's hearsay as if the story in itself wasn't enough to provoke our indignance.

Now how can I get you off my back since I'm not in the mood for an argument today?


Posted by: PaddyDog at July 26, 2011 2:26 PM

:)

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 26, 2011 2:29 PM

I had no interest in seeing a movie like Fright Night, and now I want to see it badly. Tennant can chew my scenery anytime.

Posted by: BWeaves at July 26, 2011 2:40 PM

Is that what you kids call it these days?

Posted by: logan at July 26, 2011 2:43 PM

Holy crap! PaddyDog not in the mood for an argument? Let me go check my Mayan calendar.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 26, 2011 2:45 PM

If you count the 5 VMA nominations for Madonna's "Express Yourself" in 1989, Gaga comes out ahead.

Sort of.

Maybe not...

Posted by: Brian at July 26, 2011 3:01 PM

Alas, we all have our off days. I hope to be back in vitriol-spitting form soon.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 26, 2011 3:12 PM

I grew up not too far from Pine Bluff (McGeHee, is actually where this took place). I'm not racist. I have a few friends who are (gasp!) and I think racism here is just more out in the open than other places. Many people just don't feel any shame for it. I've been fighting a pointless battle to get my friend to stop saying n*gger*. I have heard, "Sorry, I know you don't like that word, but that's just the way I was raised" way too many times recently. I just wanna shit my pants on her couch and say, "Sorry, I know you don't like that, but I've been shitting my pants since before I can remember. I'm not gonna change now."

* - I'd type that out all the way, but I think the filter would block me.

Posted by: pissant at July 26, 2011 3:43 PM

PaddyDog....did...BSlim just SMILE at you????
Teach me your wily ways! I must learn this art of taming the most ferocious of beasts - and men.

Posted by: Donut Plains at July 26, 2011 3:51 PM

Donut:

I'd tell you, but I cannot breach the sacred code of the original Pajiba settlers. B'Slim and I go back to the famed Sandy Vagina/Insult a Smith alum days together. We've earned our battle scars and inflicted many of them on each other. We're sort of like old generals who reminisce about the time we almost killed each other. The occasional smile breaks through the bloodshed occasionally.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 26, 2011 4:05 PM

Adele has a good voice but I liked her much better before she did the RS interview and whined about how much tax she had to pay.

Posted by: ArmaAngelus at July 26, 2011 4:06 PM

With a little Googling, it looks like both the principal and the supernintendo are also African American. Perhaps the decision was made so that it did not look like the administration was playing favorites. It certainly doesn't make it any less wrong, it just changes the situation somewhat.

Posted by: Emcee Peepants at July 26, 2011 4:26 PM

Adele's face is insane - she looks like the real life version of a face you'd see on the packaging from an old-timey ladies' toiletry, like rosewater bathing oil or Dr. McGillicutty's Face Tonic or something. So beautiful.

Posted by: Nicole at July 26, 2011 4:33 PM

Sigh.

Q - If you call a dog's tail a leg, how many legs does it have?
A - Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it so.

Anyone who thinks you can declare an extra "valedictorian" awarded for something other than academic work won't ever be one. What were they thinking? (Oh, right. Rural, public school administration. What was I thinking?)

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at July 26, 2011 5:01 PM

Emcee Peepants, I don't see how her being valedictorian could be construed as a result of favoritism...last I checked, the valedictorian was the person holding the highest GPA in the class, which is quantifiable. Anyone lobbing accusations of preferable treatment could simply be directed to look at the numbers. It would be pretty hard to argue after that.
Then again, some schools may look at other factors than GPA alone.
If I were the girl being given fake valedictorian to appease the dumb bigots, I would be pissed at being used in that manner and would refuse the "honor". Then again, I'm not a racist, and as such wouldn't give a flying rat's ass how they would feel about the situation.

Posted by: Jessie at July 26, 2011 6:15 PM

And I hope the girl who actually earned her way to valedictorian goes on to be successful as fuck, proving all those assholes wrong.

Posted by: Jessie at July 26, 2011 6:21 PM

taming the most ferocious of beasts

It's all about sweet spots. See also: TK. Buttons can be pushed in a good way or a bad way.

Posted by: Jay at July 26, 2011 7:04 PM

This school's policies (linked to in the ABL comment section) say the student with the highest cumulative GPA in the graduating class is valedictorian. There are no other factors. Someone decided that the black girl could not be valedictorian by herself and named a white child with lesser grades as her co-valedictorian. Could it be a coincidence that the co-valedictorian is white? Perhaps. But it doesn't excuse not letting this girl, regardless of race, have her moment to shine for five years (they go back to 8th grade for this honor) of academic excellence by herself.

Posted by: Robert at July 26, 2011 7:44 PM

About 10 years ago or so, the city high school in my little Alabama hometown had 2 valedictorians. The school ran the math and when they got to about 50 identical decimal places, they just called it a tie. Of course, one girl was white, the other girl was black, so pretty much everybody had a very loud opinion about it. The NAACP even got involved, though I don't think anyone invited them.


Best part? The girls were friends and didn't give one shit about the whole thing, each was happy for the other and they gladly shared the honor.

Posted by: Craigilicious at July 26, 2011 8:36 PM

The creepiest thing about Lady Gaga is her fans.

Keep in mind, I count myself amongst her fans.

Also? Her last great video was "Bad Romance." She really didn't deserve to be nominated for a pile of VMAs this year.

Posted by: Amanda6 at July 26, 2011 11:23 PM