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Kristen Bell Will NOT Film in the Nude. But, A Little Butt Cheek Won't Hurt

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (49)

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In REALLY BIG DEAL news, our own link wench extraordinaire Joanna Robinson was on one of the most popular film podcasts on the Internet — the /Filmcast — this week to discuss Haywire, which is ironic given Ms. Robinson’s real-life resemblance to Gina Carano. While JoRo doesn’t have the kicking ability (to my knowledge), she can still smack you on your ass with cleverness. (Slashfilm)

Whoever thought to set “The Walking Dead” credits with “The Growing Pains” theme song should be invited to the White House and feted by the Obamas. (Warming Glow)

No one looks more foolish giving an Oscar-caliber performance than Andy Serkis. These images right here are everything you need to know to understand why he should be nominated for an Oscar. (Screenjunkies)

Did you know that Paul Tassi, the guy who runs Unreality, is also a writer for Forbes? It’s true! Here he offers a look at the real people behind some of films’ most iconic masks, like the guy inside the Darth Vader suit, who is something of a real-life beefcake. (Unreality)

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This photo series of Fallen Disney Princesses, which includes the image above, is striking. (Curious Brain)

The Pajiban Ladies of Hot Ink discuss all the many celebrity hottie dude-like men with whom they would not allow to soil their delicate hoobies. Nathon Fillion? Joseph Gordon-Levitt? What is WRONG with you ladies? (Hot Ink)

Entertainment Weekly has the first look at another movie poster for The Raven and it doesn’t look nearly as good as this one.

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You didn’t need an official plot synopsis to The Amazing Spider-man to know it’s another origins story, but there is a wrinkle that suggests that Spider-man may soon become part of The Avengers cinematic universe. (Movieweb)

Americans who cannot wait to see series two of Sherlock Holmes and feel squicky about illegally downloading it can actually order the Blu Ray from England. Also, 50/50 is out on DVD this week. You’re going to want to watch it. (FSR)

There’s only, like, three of you who care, but you three care ALOT: Warner Brothers has officially put the kibosh on the Elfquest film, which was at one point set to be directed by our friend Rawson Thurber. (Bleeding Cool)

There are many actors on television who are known to have no-nudity clauses, but I think the most upsetting one is Rachel Bilson. What? Hart of Dixie is really sweet, y’all. The Fug Girls get it. Anyway, here are other actors with known no-nudity clauses. (WG)

Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel has just cast a very young Lana Lang. This is what she looks like. (Blastr)

For those of you who have finished season two of “Downton Abbey,’ here’s some slight-ish spoilers for series three, including the addition of new Americans. (The Sun)

Jon Stewart went apesh*t on Mitt Romney’s tax returns last night. I honestly cannot think of a time when he and Colbert were as on top of their game as they are right now. (Uproxx)

Katherine Heigl’s One for the Money is due out this Friday, and if you think it looks awfully similar to Jennifer Aniston’s The Bounty Hunter, you’re not alone, as this mash-up can attest.










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Comments

As your attorney, I advise you to watch/purchase Sherlock series two.

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at January 25, 2012 1:09 PM

There is nothing wrong with ME. I have impeccable taste.

Not my fault you like girly-men and wonderbread types.

Posted by: figgy at January 25, 2012 1:12 PM

And this from the woman besotted with a underfed hedgehog.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 25, 2012 1:16 PM

OK I admit Adam Scott isn't my usual type, but have you SEEN him? How can you not wanna jump all over him?

Posted by: figgy at January 25, 2012 1:18 PM

can actually order the Blu Ray from England

Mine's on the way. There's something charming about an email saying "Dispatched by the Royal Mail."

Posted by: Jay at January 25, 2012 1:19 PM

Because he'd snap like a twig, figgy. I will admit that he has great hair.

I found those Disney pictures kind of disturbing and freakily "upskirty". Granted that is my response to most things.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 25, 2012 1:23 PM

David Tennant and Nathan Fillion can have all access passes in the alternate universe where I'm single and they know who I am. I find DT sexier than I'm comfortable admitting, and Fillion is good looking, but he'd have a shot based solely on charm and humor.

Stupid region-relevant DVDs... I admit I've watched eps 1 and 2 of Sherlock Series two online, but I can't find a safe place to watch ep 3 so I'm getting antsy.

Also, WOOHOO JORO!!!

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 25, 2012 1:33 PM

Well, I can't speak for the other ladies of Hot Ink, but I have excellent taste in hot men. It's just that most of the men they mentioned aren't hot. Although Figgy is clearly wrong about JGL.

order the Blu Ray from England

Gah. No Blu Ray player in my household. I will continue to wait, and hope to Godtopus that my friends on Facebook will stop baiting me with their comments - I just know I'm gonna end up reading spoilers before the show airs in the US.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 25, 2012 1:33 PM

Well, it's not like there's creepy porn like that.

Posted by: Jay at January 25, 2012 1:33 PM

We have a friend named RAWSON THURBER?

That's cool.

Posted by: Green Lantern at January 25, 2012 1:33 PM

Don't you think this self-imposed gag order is also frustrating, Mel? We're ALL in MoffTis Hell.

Posted by: Jay at January 25, 2012 1:36 PM

Warner Brothers has officially put the kibosh on the Elfquest film

Yeah, I can think of exactly one of my friends who will be upset by this news. And she will be *very* upset.

Posted by: Pete at January 25, 2012 1:38 PM

JGL would snap like a twig. Adam Scott has raw power in his skinny arms. You* can see it.

*I can see it. In my dirty dreams.

Posted by: figgy at January 25, 2012 1:44 PM

Mel, you really owe it to yourself to avoid any sort of spoiler for episdoe 3 of Sherlock.

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at January 25, 2012 1:44 PM

In defense of craving The Doctors and Wonder Bread Fillion, it's their personalities that put me in overdrive. Fabulous brain and passible looks gets me every time.

And anyone else disturbed by the fact that Lana Lang looks like she's 6 years old?

Posted by: Bob Frapples at January 25, 2012 1:47 PM

Why is Gerard Butler always so greasy looking in his movies?

I would actually agree with most of the names on the Hot Ink list with the exception of Depp and JGL. Of course, JGL I more want to cuddle than anything. And I know Depp is greasy and dirty looking a lot of the time but he is JOHNNY DEPP!

Posted by: Laura at January 25, 2012 1:49 PM

Keep in mind, each of the ladies are crazy in their own way. Figgy's views in no way reflect those of the Management of Hot Ink or most of the other writers.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at January 25, 2012 1:52 PM

I, too, cannot speak for my fellow Hot Inkers, but I have impeccable taste in ALL the things.

Posted by: nosio at January 25, 2012 1:56 PM

Now you're just making me anticipate the season even MORE, Doc. :)

And I know it's tough, Jay. And knowing you're dying to talk about it makes it even more difficult for me not to ask you for details! Hell, indeed.

I love election season on the Daily Show and Colbert Report. Watching those shows is the only way to survive these long next 10 months.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 25, 2012 1:58 PM

But Kristen Bell certainly has no qualms about shoeless scenes or putting her toes in creepy-man mouth...

Posted by: Jerry at January 25, 2012 2:01 PM

Stewart and Colbert are always on top of their game during election season.

Or when Donald Trump rears his ugly, alien head.

Posted by: Pants at January 25, 2012 2:01 PM

Those Princess pics look like rape/murder scenes.
Skipping right past the question of why anyone would make those in the first place -
Why would you share those. Why would you give those any more recognition.
Why.

Posted by: Ick at January 25, 2012 2:07 PM

Have a extra time and internet connection, You are skilled in online research?
Earn upto 40$/hour on online easy work, read more here.... LazyCash10.com

Posted by: ryan at January 25, 2012 2:09 PM

I'm with Ick. The more I look at that Snow White picture the more I am creeped out by the fetishized violence: a faceless victim has met a violent end by some means which simultaneously caused her shoes to fall off and blow her mini-pricess skirt over her head for prurient and invasive access to her reproductive organs. I'm officially offended. The Alice in Wonderland one is particularly gross.

Those pictures also illustrate why I don't watch Law and Order SVU: Everyone gets raped.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 25, 2012 2:23 PM

And now I've added a nasty comment on the Curious Brain website. I hope you're happy Pajiba.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 25, 2012 2:28 PM

Count me as someone who actually cares about ElfQuest. I have never met a single other person who does. Nice to know they exist. I would prefer they not make a movie, actually, because I'm sure it would disappoint.

Posted by: PrincessPiglet at January 25, 2012 2:30 PM

So, yesterday I had a discussion about witnessing the rape and beating of my neighbor when I was in high school. Today I feel compelled to look at those heinous Disney photos. This is gonna be a great week for my psyche. I shall now go vomit.

Posted by: PrincessPiglet at January 25, 2012 2:46 PM

McDonough! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: Nadine at January 25, 2012 3:00 PM

Captain Reynolds was a cold-blooded killer, inspirational leader and romantic jester. It appears to come naturally to him. That's not considering the barrel chest and hockey thighs/ass. Sorry, ladies, wrapping your limbs 'around that package will change your mind.

I don't feel compelled to argue for the rest of my competition. I think Fillion also is the only one I couldn't take. Sarsgaard is clearly a pussy in a fight.

Posted by: Tao at January 25, 2012 3:39 PM

Agree with Ick and Mrs. Julien. I usually appreciate pop culture reimagined/deconstructed art... but am disturbed at the obvious violence/rape theme in this series.

Posted by: SLM at January 25, 2012 3:42 PM

I'm also squicked by the dead princesses, though my sensibilities are the least of these photos' problems. They should also expect an incoming statement from Tyra Banks gloating how ANTM has inspired knock-offs YET AGAIN

Posted by: Amanda6 at January 25, 2012 3:56 PM

Holy shiite! The same guy who played Predator played Harry from Harry and the Hendersons?!?! Interesting!

Posted by: Helcat at January 25, 2012 3:58 PM

Captain Reynolds was a cold-blooded killer, inspirational leader and romantic jester.

Sounds like just what we need. Write in campaign? (If need be, we'll annex Canada to get around that "citizen" thing. The army's coming home and they gotta do something.)

While JoRo doesn’t have the kicking ability (to my knowledge), she can still smack you on your ass with cleverness.

Yes, please.

Um, I meant congratulations on the other thing.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at January 25, 2012 4:24 PM

I'm glad I'm not the only one who found the princess photos a little rape-y. As Mrs Julien pointed out, the facelessness is possibly the creepiest part.

Posted by: Bert at January 25, 2012 5:06 PM

Oh damnit, I hate to be that person, but it's "a lot", not "alot". SOMETIMES THE GRAMMAR NAZI IN ME CAN'T BE CONTAINED, I'M SORRY!

Also, those Disney princesses pictures are freakin' creepy and disturbing, and not in a good way. I went into them expecting a dark twist, but left feeling squicked out.

Posted by: luthien26 at January 25, 2012 5:41 PM

Yeah, Dustin, I'm pretty shocked that you, of all people around here, shared that Disney Princesses bit. You're frequently carrying on and on about the mysoginy in a film or a situation... yet you dropped this link on us? I didn't need the Lady Pajibans' commentary, here, to make me feel uncomfortable with the images.

I suppose one could make the argument that Cinderella slipped and fell and that Snow White was poisoned within the confines of that story. But the remaining images are pretty creepy freaking depictions of victims. Particularly Alice WHO IS TIED UP. That's not a picture of Alice hobbling away after spraining her ankle upon landing in the bottom of the rabbit hole (to me that would be "Fallen Alice"). That is Alice - arguably a pre-teen girl - freaking tied up. The rabbit just makes it creepier.

I don't see these as "fallen". They look like assault.

Posted by: lubeg at January 25, 2012 6:14 PM

Was one of those princesses supposed to be from Hunchback of Notre Dame? There was one I couldn't place and I haven't seen that movie. But yeah, fairly disturbing.

Now, if you'd had each of them surrounded by five empty bottles of character-appropriate booze... (This SO needs to be a list - match booze to princess. Ariel gets dibs on Absinthe.)

And how is it possible that I've been on this site so long and haven't known that you ladies were posting elsewhere? I'm, frankly, ashamed of myself.

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 25, 2012 6:23 PM

Oh damnit, I hate to be that person

LIES! You love to be that person. We ALL love to be that person. It's what makes us Pajibanese.

More to the point, I think the ALOT was intentional -

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

Warning: You will want to read all the things on that site.


Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 25, 2012 6:33 PM

Nathan Fillion wears footie pajamas to bed and asks for a glass of warm milk after sex. You all know it, don't even lie.

Posted by: stardust at January 25, 2012 8:04 PM

(Dammit, I forgot to change my link.)

Posted by: stardust at January 25, 2012 8:06 PM

I have watched "The Walking Dead" set to "Growing Pains" theme song three times in a row so far and I have yet to stop laughing. I particularly like that Norman Reedus' closeup is all sweet & touchingly melancholy until you realize he is putting on a trophy necklace comprised entirely of zombie ears.

Posted by: VonnegutSlut at January 25, 2012 8:32 PM

"The Bounty Hunter" is the worst movie I have ever seen in the theater and I have seen more movies in the theater than most. It's only redeeming feature is that it's under two hours. Of course it feels like a year of your life was lost.

Posted by: logan at January 25, 2012 10:33 PM

I call shenanigans on that otherwise wonderful link, Mrs. J.

First, on the interweb, nobody knows you are a dog.

Second, if a freaking cockroach can write poetry by flinging himself at individual keys of a manual typewriter in the dark of night - granted with no caps - a freaking eagle can use something like grammar. (My favorite is the lesson of the moth.)

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at January 25, 2012 11:00 PM

That no-nudity article hurts my very soul. Except for Neal McDonough. I hope he never takes his clothes off on camera.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 26, 2012 6:47 AM

There's something charming about an email saying "Dispatched by the Royal Mail."

The charm wears off when they keep losing your frickin stuff. I'm one of those people who goes 'In my day they delivered TWICE A DAY! In the morning!' I'm sorry. I'm old.

Posted by: Carrie/Teabelly at January 26, 2012 8:39 AM

Mrs. J, somehow I missed the Alot story on Hyperbole and a Half. THANK YOU.

Posted by: Anne At Large at January 26, 2012 9:38 AM

Dustin, I really like your Pajiba Loves, but I agree, those Disney Princess pictures are disturbing, disgusting, and offensive. They look like violent scenes of rape and murder, and Mrs. Julien is right, their facelessness makes it, staggeringly, even more disturbing.
The title only makes it worse. 'Fallen' Disney Princesses - as if once upon a time they were pristine princesses from fairy tales, but now that they've all been raped and violated (and murdered), they're worthless.
I don't care what the photographers thought they were attempting to accomplish. They've put these images out into the world and the internet, and they can't control who looks at them or for what reasons. I highly doubt that most of the people who will ultimately end up 'enjoying' these pictures will have an artistic motivation.
Everything about it is offensive and makes me angry and sick to my stomach.
I hope this is one of those times where you guys linked to something without actually investigating it first, because I am having a lot of difficulty coming up with a motivation to post those. Unless you wanted us to go over and flood their comment section with angry posts. Which: done.

Posted by: BiblioGeek at January 26, 2012 11:10 AM

While as a woman I understand where the above comments are coming from, I can’t agree. Fairy tales are by nature dark and disturbing morality stories with brutal elements. Read the original German or Hans Christian Anderson fairy tales; they’re brutal. To me these are gorgeous, compelling, and darkly artful in a way that is in keeping with the spirit of these stories. Stunning.

Posted by: noodlestein at January 27, 2012 12:55 AM

DIRECT YOUR QUESTION TO REPRISE !!!!!!!!Like or Dislike: 5 5

Posted by: Claudine Tostado at February 17, 2012 3:53 AM