Katy Perry Throws Russell Brand Into The Thames River Again: Enough Already?
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Katy Perry Throws Russell Brand Into The Thames River Again: Enough Already?

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | September 30, 2013 | Comments ()


I’m probably the only Pajiba staffer who did not watch last night’s Breaking Bad finale. A few you out there didn’t either and feel just as alienated as I do. Can I make it through this entire column without mentioning that show? Maybe.

Ha. Here’s a tangential mention already. One of the unspoken laws of the internet is that you will never avoid spoilers again. (Vulture)

There’s already an early contender for the first cancellation of the fall, as Dustin looks at the ratings for the new falls shows, which should give you an idea of where each new series stands. (WG)

The average “worker” spends $1092 per year on coffee. Geez, I thought my Keurig cups were expensive. Over $1000 annually is insane. (Mental Floss)

The first official still from Transformers 4 has surfaced. Yep, that’s Mark Wahlberg. (Slashfilm)

This story is awesome. A 10-year-old boy served as the “legs” for his disabled brother by pushing him in a 5K race. See, good things do come out of Oklahoma. Sniff. (Uproxx)

300pl.jpgJoanna mentioned the 300 Sandwiches lady last week. I have no idea where this image came from, but it looks like an excellent vehicle for a Katherine Heigl comeback.

Robert Downey Jr. owns a 6-foot flying Iron Man. Of course he does. (Film Drunk)

The rumors are true. Kate Upton is dating Maksim Chmerkovskiy of Dancing with the Stars fame. (People)

Imagine a world where Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake never broke up. Photoshop can help you with that dream. (Buzzfeed)

Katy Perry isn’t finished throwing Russell Brand across the pond. Now she’s vilifying him by saying he made her “suicidal.” I’d feel sorry for her, but this is the same chick who signed her divorce papers with a happy face. (Celebitchy)

Melissa Gorga (Real Housewives of New Joisey) is horrified you think she’s promoting rape with her “no means yes” marital-advice book for lovers. (DListed)

Gravity is not a sci-fi film for many reasons. Not the least of which is how it seems like 90 minutes of Sandra Bullock freaking out in a sound booth. (Film School Rejects)

Want to work for Nintendo? You’d better learn Japanese before anything else. (Kotaku)

Reese Witherspoon looks so friggin’ cute here that it’s easy to forget she was acting like a drunken hillbilly on the streets of Atlanta a few months ago. (Go Fug Yourself)

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She & her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • e jerry powell

    Wait. Dustin wants Fox to keep "Dads" and "Brooklyn Nine-Nine?"

    Also, Maksim Chmerkovskiy is a man-whore. I prefer to think that Upton could do better.

  • e jerry powell

    I thought Gargamel Heigl was giving up on feature films for a while now that she's getting into TV procedurals. God, I hope that's true.

    Even if 300 Sandwiches is a dream project for her, I want her to STOP DREAMING and go into dinner theater.

  • Shibuyama

    For what it's worth, my first job was at a company in Tokyo, and Nintendo's application process sounds about par for the course for a Japanese corporation.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I remember my ESL students demonstrating for me the exact number of steps and moves for coming into the interview room sitting down.

  • BWeaves

    I spend zero dollars a year on coffee. Tea and whiskey are another story.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I just have to share my joy -

    Me: Hey Joe, how are you today?
    Sexist Co-Worker: How are you doing, honey?
    Me: How can I help you, sweetie, darling, cupcake?
    Sexist Co-Worker: Was that not HR appropriate?
    Me: It's 2013 and I'm 46 years old. How old are you?
    Sexist Co-Worker: I'm 57.
    Me: Then you are the wrong generation. If you were 75 years old, I
    wouldn't mind if you called me, "sweetheart". I am 46. I'm not a girl and
    my name is Prolixity. Now, how can I help you?

    And then I politely and professionally helped him. I have waited FOUR YEARS to say that. I'm posting this on FB, too.

    I request the highest of fives.

  • Wigamer

    Sky-high, friend.

  • emmelemm

    Super duper fantastic.

    "Was that not HR appropriate?" ... If you have to ask...

  • emmalita


    I've been told that's a high five emoticon.

  • ky

    The best thing to come out of this 300 sandwiches business is this brilliant response: http://ordering300sandwiches.c...

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Thaaaaat is fantastic. And I have a co-worker with the same Mr. T mug.

  • Bert_McGurt

    They have a mug featuring Mr. T(ea). These are my kind of people.

  • denesteak

    this is hilarious!

  • emmalita

    Brilliant! I'm stealing this link. The wealth needs to be shared! You have done godtopus' work today, ky!

  • Berry

    I've yet to see even one complete episode of Breaking Bad. If I follow my usual pattern, I'll see it in seven, eight years from now, fall completely in love, and then spend sleepless nights trolling the internet, trying to find someone, anyone to obsess with me, but by then everyone will already have moved on, and I'll be so alone... Story of my life.

  • bastich

    Sounds exactly like me. I feel your pain.

    By the way, did you know that they rebooted Battlestar Galactica? I've started to watch it, and it's frakkin' awesome!

  • Berry

    I think I've heard something about it... Isn't Starbuck, like, a girl in it? And Cylons look like people? I don't know how I feel about all that.

  • emmalita

    Oh, the sadness.

  • emmalita

    I will still be talking about it.

  • Berry

    I'll hold you to that!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Do you need a hug? You can have it now or seven, eight years from now. Your choice.

  • Berry

    Yes I do, and now, please. My generation believes in instant gratification. Except me, when it comes to TV, apparently.

  • John W

    What's your Keurig flavor of choice?

  • anikitty

    Macadamia Cookie, Chocolate Glazed Donut, Blueberry Mountain, Jet Fuel, Cafe Almond Biscotti, Coconut Mocha, Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, Pumpkin Spice.

  • anikitty

    not all at once...

  • Pants-are-a-must

    Did not watch Breaking Bad. Never have. But I HAVE watched the new Parks and Rec and it made me as unaccountably happy as Breaking Bad fans are now despondent. Speaking of which, Leslie Knope spends over $1000 a year on waffles, so there's your statistics represented in the media.

    Also, am I the only one who's going to guilty-pleasure-watch Sleepy Hollow? It's adorable.

  • foolsage

    Sleepy Hollow's been enjoyable so far. I'm still in.

  • ceebee_eebee

    I love Sleepy Hollow but I don't feel guilty about it in the slightest.

  • emmalita

    I'm watching Sleepy Hollow.

    I do watch Breaking Bad and I am grateful to have many weeks of Parks and Rec to look forward to.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    Eh, Russell Brand's been pretty nasty about Perry the past few months also. Not saying it's a classy move on either of their parts, but I can see where after reading things like this, someone might be like "Fuck the high road." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...

  • meaghanedwards

    Haven seeing the show, I know for a fact he was poking fun at the concept of marriage; but yet again the media likes to twist things out of context. In interviews, in a more serious context, he has been speaking about how beautiful the concept of marriage is. He has said lovely things about Katy but that's not newsworthy enough.

  • victoriahlowry

    Yep. Saw it in Atlanta and he dropped the "I'd think of anyone else" part, but it actually would have fit into the show.

  • I went to see Brand's show this summer and the joke that is referred to in that article was told at the show. He is just having some fun with the idea of marriage, he was respectful to Perry and it wasn't really a dig at her.

  • Fredo

    So two people who've displayed a need for attention are still using one another to make that happen?

    I'm only surprised they haven't been selling their stories to the rags. They need Mama Jenner in there to help them step their celeb game up.

  • Mrs. Julien

    "Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner."

    Just checking.

  • Fredo

    I forgot her name for a moment.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I wanted to see if the summoning incantation works yet.

  • bastich

    Aren't you supposed to say her name backwards three times at midnight while staring into a mirror?

  • Mrs. Julien

    That's just for wetwork or Anna Wintour.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    It was probably a very hushed down ugly marriage ending in an ugly divorce. I like Brand a lot more than Perry, generally speaking, but they surely can both be the world's biggest handfuls.

  • Xander

    I have to say I admire the marketing campaign behind Gravity. I don't know what the hell they did but I have been listening to crazy fanboys raving about it for two years now. Yes long before the movie existed. Personally I think it looks really boring.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It looks more like psychological horror to me, along the lines of that Ryan Reynolds movie where he was buried underground. It doesn't seem sci-fi to me just because it takes place in space.

  • Fredo

    I'm going to go watch it on IMAX 3D. I fully expect vertigo, nausea and maybe some vomiting.

    It's going to be awesome and terrifying.

  • Maguita NYC

    Oh I am so looking forward to watching this in IMAX 3D. First time in years, that I am interested in watching 3D.

    The last trailers have been freaking me out. And I want that.

  • NateMan

    And to me, the premise behind it is terrifying enough that I won't watch the previews. To each their own!

  • Ben

    I watched the trailers on an imax screen and am so far into the NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! Catagory I wouldn't touch that movie with someone elses dick.

    Whenever it comes on in a movie I'm seeing I spend my time focusing on how you can hear everything even though they're in space to stop myself losing my fucking shit and passing out from hyperventilating.

  • Maguita NYC

    Some of the trailers really translate the fear and helplessness. They're worth the watch.

  • Michelle

    I'd say that's about right, re: coffee spending. A Dunkin' Donuts large iced coffee (drinking hot coffee in the winter is for suckers) runs me about $2.87+ depending on where I am. And I get one... every single day. DON'T JUDGE ME.

  • Arran

    Right, $1000 sounds like a lot when you add it all up, but that only translates to a few bucks a day. Hell, even if you only drink two K-Cups a day you're probably over $500 a year. (Cheap-ish K-Cups are about $8 for a pack of ten, so 80c apiece, so two a day would equal $584 over a year.)

  • That's actually not bad. I spent almost $5 for a damned iced macchiato from Starbucks this morning, and I know I'd easily do it every single day if I wasn't so damn stingy. I was just desperate this morning.

  • MauraFoley

    People are appalled at the amount of money I spend on coffee, because I am a particularly judicious spender. But they don't understand that I am a particularly judicious spender specifically so that I can buy coffee whenever I damn please!

    ETA: I saw more than 1k coffee for a year and though "yeah that seems about right."

  • Bert_McGurt

    I saw this on the weekend and I had to mention it because it sounds hilarious - a lady in Ontario accidentally won a marathon AND qualified for Boston at the same time:


  • emmalita

    That's such a great story! I used to marathon before I acquired a collapsible ankle. Once you've broken that mental barrier of 20 miles, a marathon is within reach.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I was especially impressed because even a half-marathon sounds like hours of pain to me. I still run a bit, but I was always more of a sprinter. And now that I've got the lower back of a 60-year old (is he ever going to be upset when he finds out!) I mostly stick to skating and cycling.

  • Uriah_Creep

    And now that I've got the lower back of a 60-year old

    Awesome, you're welcome to it.

  • Maguita NYC

    Every runner I've met has developed aches after get into the sport. I've been a swimmer, a volleyball player, ballerina, spinner, even a kick boxer, and no sport ever hurt my body until I started running. But I loved running, the thought of that high just makes me want to put on my running shoes and go!

  • emmalita

    Have you checked to see if the 60-year old has your lower back?

  • Bert_McGurt

    Unfortunately, we (my father and I) share the affliction.

  • PerpetualIntern

    What about breaking the mental barrier of 3 miles?

  • emmalita

    Is that a barrier you WANT to break? If you can run 3, you can run 5. But then you're on that slippery slope. Once you've run 3 miles, what stops you from running 26? Is that how you want to spend your time?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The answer is shin splints. Shin splints, bleeding nipples, chafing thighs and rib cramps keep you from 26.

  • emmalita

    Body glide eliminates 2 of the 4.

    I look back on the few years I ran and wonder, why? I never enjoyed it.

  • NateMan

    Wow, that's funny and impressive!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Spoiler alert: JRo beat you to the Bridget Jones news (which isn't spoiler so much as plot)

    I also didn't watch Breaking Bad, because I haven't seen it. Though I almost hosted a viewing party for my friends w/o cable who wanted to watch in real time.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Nah, you're not alone: I didn't watch BB last night either. I hate that show.
    Oh wait, no, that was because I'm in London and I can only just go watch it now. But, like, whatever, right? How essential could the finale be? Besides, I've got much more important thin-....

  • emmalita

    Careful Zeke, your heading into denial. As we know from the lesson of Walter White, denial leads to meth and meth leads to millions of dollars and destroying the lives of every one you've ever loved. Ignore the millions of dollars part, some snot head neo-nazi would probably take it away from you.

  • zeke_the_pig

    ...-gs to do...
    Like mourn the fact that there is now no more Breaking Bad.
    I feel emotional.

  • emmalita

    Me too. I can't even work up a good snark about Katherine whatserface or that other one, the one in the header picture.

  • zeke_the_pig

    If you excuse me-
    *wipes away a solitary hollow tear*
    - I'm gonna go to the kitchen now, to mourn my own way.

  • emmalita

    Here, I gave some to Mrs. J too.

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