Kate Upton Wishes For A Smaller Rack Every Day Of Her Life
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Kate Upton Wishes For A Smaller Rack Every Day Of Her Life

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | April 14, 2014 | Comments ()


Summit Entertainment has announced that the final Divergent book — the much-maligned Allegiant — will be split into two parts instead of just one movie. Because they couldn’t resist. (TMS)

Dustin recaps last night’s Mad Men with fervor. Do I see any new (or old) conspiracy theories brewing? You’ll have to click to find out. (WG)

Lupita Nyong’o was best dressed at last night’s MTV Movie Awards. She’s best dressed everywhere, but she was the only memorable thing about last night’s ceremony. (Lainey)

This Johnny Depp sh-t is growing really uncomfortable. During the entirety of his promotional tour for Transcendence, he’s said almost nothing about the movie itself. Now he’s gushing about how much he wants to make 100 babies with Amber Heard. (Celebitchy)

Johnny Depp sure has played a lot of weirdoes. Justin Long says Johnny has signed on to play a weirdo in a Kevin Smith movie. Really? (Slashfilm)

Russell Crowe sang a Les Miserables song with screaming goats. Take that, Wolverine. (Uproxx)

Kate Upton really wishes she had smaller boobs. She makes this wish at least once daily. That’s the price she pays for being attractive. *shakes fist* In all seriousness: Her back must be absolutely killing her. (DListed)

I do apologize for linking to these videos in a moment of weakness. See … if Kate Upton had smaller boobs, she could do this. Painfree! (Guyism)

Is Captain America “too nice,” and should he be more of “a prick”? (Unreality)

This list concept has been visited on many occasions, but it never fails to fascinate me. Here are 7 seven terrifying cursed objects that exist in real life. (io9)

What if the most famous Disney princesses and villains were male instead of female? An artist has invested a lot of time creating gender-bending images of these characters. (HuffPo)

Duchess Kate is still wearing pretty clothes in New Zealand. (GFY)

This explanation of why laptops need their own separate bin at airport security does nothing to make me feel better about putting my laptop where your stinky shoes have been. (MF)

Blasphemy! Julia in Austin loves Longbourn by Jo Baker more than Pride and Prejudice, the novel it was inspired by. “A philosophical treatise on work, love, and happiness masquerading as Jane Austen fan fiction.” Sounds like it’s worth checking out. (Cannonball Read 6)

Coachella is all Pearl Jam’s fault, right? Damn Eddie Vedder and his beautiful hair. Oh hey, here’s Leonardo DiCaprio half-heartedly shaking his ass at Coachella on Saturday.

Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She can be found at Celebitchy.com.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Ben

    Did you just link to an article linking to an article with that captain america one? Why not just link straight to the article instead of unreality's link to the article?

  • e jerry powell

    Wait, I thought we were done with Kevin Smith's movies. At least I thought Kevin Smith was.

  • Coolg82

    I give Kate Upton a little more credit than "for the monies" when it comes to keeping her breasts. I think a lot of models are scared that they will eventually hit the point where no one wants them anymore. There are plenty of models and actresses who are constantly lusted after by their audiences and clothing designers who have all the varying breast sizes and I can't imagine that she would loose too many fans if she went from current to at least decent C, if that would even help with the problems of large breasts, I don't know alot about it so I don't know if Cs are that comfortable either but got to be better than gargantuan. However, with all the modeling and ad campaigns that she attaches herself too that do little more that exploit her breast size or her in general, she probably feels she has no choice if she wants to continue to work. Sure, the money is probably good, but I figure her to be like most models, and she had to do alot of work to get to the money part and to do that, she probably had to have some desire to do it and to be a part of the industry.

  • MissAmynae

    Adding- One of the reasons the "super" models get that way is that they have one or two unique traits- Cindy Crawford had the Mole, Lauren Hutton's tooth gap, Cara Delevigne's eyebrows etc. I wonder if Miss Upton worries that she'll be "just another pretty face" without her assets. I figure this is probably part of why she's going into acting, since the career path of an actress tends to have greater longevity.

  • mairimba

    She hates having big boobs? That can easily be fixed. Oh, what's that? Ah, right. You can't get rid of the money makers. Then STFU!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Breast reduction surgery is more painful & complicated than breast enhancement surgery.

  • mairimba

    I have friends that have had it done. Maybe painful right after, but I hear it's a huge relief.

  • em.me

    This is true, I just had it done less than 3 weeks ago I went from a 32G to around a 34C and my shoulders already feel so much better. It was only really uncomfortable for about three days, after that I didn't even have to take any pain killers. I still can't sleep on my side yet though and that's annoying.

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    Lucky, I had mine done 4 years ago now, and it took me a 6 week recovery time. It was very painful, and I am no stranger to pain (I've broken several bones and have taken a few beatings - in the kick boxing ring); plus I ended up having phantom stabbing pains afterwards!
    But through all that crap, I am SO GLAD I did it. No regrets. Plus, for the first time in my post-3rd-grade-puberty-life, I'm able to sleep on my front and walk around braless!

  • "Kate Upton really wishes she had smaller boobs."

    If it helps, I'll offer to cover them with my hands and/or face.

  • Berry

    On a different note, I get that you're lying around in (fake) snow, but if you can do that in your bikini, do you really need the winter boots to go with it? Where's the logic? Where's the sense? Does no-one in the cheese-cake picture industry think of these things?

  • Tinkerville

    If you're trying to look for logic in Sports Illustrated swimsuit spreads, you're going to have a bad time.

  • Berry

    Ya think? In their defense, the bikini looks to be fur or some fur-like material, so it's probably totally warm. A winter bikini! For when you just need to frolic almost naked in the snow.

  • Todd Sikkema

    Hmmm....I always thought that she looked like she had breast enhancement surgery--she looks too big for her body size. There must be some experts here who can shed some light on this.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Back in 2000, I was 5'4", 125 lbs and a decent 34B. I was working for a theater that did daytours to schools, and lived next door to one of my fellow tourmates, who was 5'9", 110lbs and a 36DD. I kid you not, she was shaped like a Barbie doll, with skinny legs, a narrow waist, a beautiful face (of course) and wildly disproportionate breasts. And she was very sweet. At the age of 23, she'd already had breast reduction consultations, but decided against it - breast reduction surgery leaves scars, and also rules out breast-feeding.

    So, such body types do exist in nature. (it's a good thing she was nice!)

  • Berry

    Well, if such an expert exists, it surely ain't me.

  • Berry

    So I don't really, seriously believe that Annabel the doll story, but it's still terrifying. My nieces and nephews are never, ever, ever getting dolls from me. Just in case.

  • Leigh

    This isn't about a cursed doll, but another freaky possessed doll story... google Robert the Doll that resides in a museum in Key West. In the "olden days" I would tape all the ghost specials on the History and Travel Channels at Halloween. This episode freaked me out so bad that I actually threw the VHS tape in the trash because even the thought of it in my house creeped me out.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor


    A) Fuck you.

    B) Anyone want to sponsor a road trip to Florida to destroy that thing? I'll bring the salt and lighter fluid, if someone else springs for gas. We can go halfsies on the voodoo priestess backup.

  • emmalita

    I am always up for a road trip that ends with salting the earth.

  • Berry

    Man, you would have loved it in Carthage, circa 146 BC.

  • denesteak

    Why? Why would you share this with us! Fuck, why did I google that? I'm gonna get nightmares now.

  • Berry

    I'm not going to google ANOTHER awful doll story. Do you think I'm STUPID?

    *googles it*

  • chanohack

    That whole list just completely freaked me out. I've been on a long road to vanquishing my superstition, and I swear that list set me back a couple years. I wonder if there's a Rabbi in my town, in case a Dybbuk gets trapped in any of my furniture? I should probably move to a town with more Rabbis.

  • Berry

    That's a solid plan, and I support it wholeheartedly. If any of our stuff is ever cursed, my husband and I are fucked, because there are only boring protestants where we live, and they do not do exorcism or ANYTHING.

  • Genevieve Burgess

    In high school I had some friends who were fairly well-endowed whereas I was sporting a more... let's say "athletic" build. The joke was often made that they'd be more than happy to loan me a cup or two of boob if they could. I think it really is one of those "grass is always greener" situations no matter which side you fall on. I guess it's possible that there's some platonic ideal of boob size, in terms of the comfort of the boob-possessor, but I have yet to discover it.

  • Cheetahdriver

    I have known women from a girl packing a pair of 38s (DDD) to one with 32A. They all have one thing in common. They all are unhappy with their current breast size.

    My personal opinion is that if a girl is proportional, that is the only important thing. Grace Jones would look silly in D cups, just as Kate Upton would look silly in "A"s.

    But don't try to tell them that...

  • Genevieve Burgess

    Not to put too fine a point on it, but that might be because their opinion of their appearance and their physical comfort with themselves has more to do with them than it does how other people perceive them? I can tell you the other thing all those women have in common: They're probably sick of dudes reassuring them that all boobs are great and walking off thinking they've done them a huge favor.

    I know you mean well, but sometimes women can express dissatisfaction with their appearance that has nothing to do with what men think of them. Never mind the physical limitations of large breasts, as explained by several other posts. Body image is a complex issue, and reducing it to quippy statements like "as long as they're proportional" is a facile way of dealing with it.

  • Cheetahdriver

    Thank you, when a woman starts off a sentence with "Don't you think I would look better with (pick one bigger/smaller/etc) boobs, then I am being asked my opinion based on perception. If a woman asks if I think having reduction done will help her back, I tell her to talk to a Dr, because I did not stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night. Since I don't go around offering my opinion on random boobs, my post implied that my opinion had been asked in some fashion.

    I have also, when asked about augmentation, told women (more than one) that I thought D+ cups would be a bit overkill on a frame of 32,20,33, or similar. I tried to put that nicely "something proportional", as opposed to "try not to look like an aircraft carrier".

    Again, not that anyone listens to me. However, I don't mean well, and I never quip.

    I also find offensive the implication that women's own body issues are highly complex problems that society has grafted unnaturally onto only their sex, while men only have to worry about strolling out of the cave and tapping a brontosaurs on the head with a club for dinner. If you don't think men have similar issues (check studies on men's height vs job advancement/salary and women's favorable perception of men based on the car they drive) then you are guilty of your own preconceptions overruling reality.

  • lowercase_ryan

    A disproportionate number of people that care about boob size are in advertising and/or 14 year old boys.

  • APOCooter

    "More than a hand full and you're risking a sprained thumb."

  • Genevieve Burgess

    Women do care they just (mostly, not all) care for different reasons. Ladies with more to share can find them uncomfortable or difficult to dress, or just a hindrance to peacefully existing without strangers offering commentary on traits one can't control. Ladies towards the smaller end tend to express a desire to fill out clothes better, or be closer to the version of "sexy" that most of us have been shown all our lives. I generally have sympathy to all those feelings.

    My father once said that he can't imagine what it must be like to have boobs. "It'd be like if guys had to walk around every day wearing a shirt that listed a very specific measurement on it for everyone to see."

  • Monica

    And like holding them to go down the stairs and stuff.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I get that it's tied to how people view themselves. I had a point when I made that comment but I Mondayed the hell out of it. As far as your dad's thoughts, that's a startling way to look at it.

  • Berry

    Plus the back-pain. It's a real problem, honestly.

  • Sassy Pikachu

    I have DDD cup sizes, and 1) it's extrememly hard for me to find bras, because many in that cup size are for larger bands, 38+ and I need smaller size. 2) It's extremely hard for me to find clothes that fit right, because of the out of proportion upper body I either find things my size that fit everywhere else but the bust, or to accommodate my bust and end up looking like I'm pregnant. 3) Almost any shirt could be a "low cut" shirt. I'm not comfortable showing cleavage, and even when it's only like, 10/20% of my boobs are exposed, it still is a 2" or so cleavage line, and the looks I get from people makes me very uncomfortable. 4) Severe shoulder and upper back pain. I've already noticed that the area where my bra strap sits on my shoulder is developing a little dent that can be observed when I'm not wearing bras, because the of the perpetual weight it is put upon it.

    Which is why, I'm saving up $ so I can get a reduction surgery. Because I don't want shoulder canals and perpetual shoulder pain for the rest of my life. @_@

  • BWeaves

    I'd be happy to take one of Kate Upton's breasts off her hands, or chest, whatevers. I had to have part of one of my breasts removed. I'll just plop her boob in the empty spot in my bra.

    Anyway, that leaves one breast available for someone else, because I'm all about the sharing.

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