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Justin Timberlake, Stand-Up Guy Or PR Super-Genius?

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (40)



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How are you all holding up? Is the NBA lockout getting you down? Well Pajiban Brandon has a handy guide to help you drink your way through the pain. He’s assigned a drink to each game that you’re missing. (NBA Sobriety Strike)

I believe some of you folks are Kate Bush fans. I haven’t listened to her much and I confess what little I heard of this album didn’t strike my fancy, but if she’s your bag o’ tea then go ahead and soak in this first listen to her new album. (NPR)

I have to say, as much as I love him as an SNL host, etc. etc. Sexyback etc., I never, not once believe in Justin Timberlake’s sincerity. So while I think it is *very* cool that he made good on his promise to attend the Marine Corps Ball with some random youtube stalker, forgive me if I don’t exactly buy his unctuous, overly emotional letter in response to the evening. (Radar Online)

Well at least Timberlake doesn’t travel around with his own personal cheerleaders. I mean, who would do tha-oh, the president of Russia? I see. Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Medvedev’s Girls. (With Leather)

There is a fella who is currently perfecting the most expensive tea in the world. Its key ingredient? Panda feces. Oh joy, Austin Powers flashbacks. I’m 17 and Gagging* again. (Neatorama)

Speaking of things that make you go “herk,” here’s a breakdown of germs on your technical devices. Silkwood shower time for my fingers! (BioTV)

Speaking of sanitation issues, some kindly doctors and veterinarians are volunteering their time to offer free medical care to the OCCUPY protestors in Zuccotti Park. (GOOD)

Mental Floss has Eleven Scientists Who Experimented On Themselves. No Monday is complete without a story about injecting cocaine into spinal fluid. (MentalFloss)

Is this “Determine Your Religion” flowchart offensive? Yes. Did it make me chuckle? Yes. At least it’s equal opportunity offensive, ya dig? (Holy Taco)

Book Porn! Some authors show off their book collections. Oh, Phillip Pullman! (FT)

Space Porn! Amazing time lapse images of Australian Star trails. (My Modern Met)

Joanna Porn! Michael Fassbender was named one of GQ’s Men Of The Year. I’m just going to leave this here. (Celebitchy)
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Unreality has a cute round-up of Sci-Fi Road Sign Hacks. Mine would say something like “Hold Onto Your Butts.” (Unreality)

A little more Space Porn for you all. From Michael Konig here is footage from the International Space Station of us. Aren’t we gorgeous?

Earth | Time Lapse View from Space, Fly Over | NASA, ISS from Michael König on Vimeo.

In addition to Fassbender, GQ also voted Jay-Z, Kunis, Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon as Men Of The Year…even though Kunis is…I may have read this wrong. Anyway, here’s one of GQ’s “Persons Of The Year” doing a stellar Jim Morrison impersonation.

*DON’T YOU DARE, TLC.









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Comments

I was surprised it was Medvedev and not Putin with the cheerleaders, but apparently it's a copy cat/counteract thing:

Apparently the group was formed in opposition of a similar group of attractive females that encourages – seriously, I can’t believe I’m typing this – other attractive young females to strip in support of Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin.

At least Berlusconi resigned. It's a great day for women!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 14, 2011 1:09 PM

That shirt's sort of femme and not in a good way, Fassbender. Also, Timberlake: Ewww.

Posted by: klingonfree at November 14, 2011 1:22 PM

Well first of all regarding the tea: Is it a bit nutty?

Secondly, I kind of enjoy that the Russian president inflates his own self worth in the same manner as Gary Oak from Pokemon. (Yes, I just referenced the Pokemon cartoon show and yes, I deserve the jeering that's likely to come because of it.)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 14, 2011 1:26 PM

Why did they make Fassbender's face look radioactive?

Posted by: jex at November 14, 2011 1:35 PM

Fassbender: eat a sandwich and quit it with the skinny ties. Apart from that, as long as I have a face...

Posted by: Jerry at November 14, 2011 1:36 PM

That's Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak to you.

(See, you are not alone. I am a sucker for a few good memes as well.)

Regardless of the "sincerity" of the letter, I always give props when a celeb (especially one that has some legitimate reason to be above such things) takes some time out to make a fan happy. And it is nice that, after seeing male soldiers get their requests filled, the Ladies Of War can get in on the action as well.

It sees like such a little effort,m but it means so much to that person. And I cannot hate on someone who does that.

So kudos to Mr. Timberlake. Enjoy it while I can stomach you.

Also, that Marine was pretty hot. I'll let her storm my beaches anytime. Rrrawrr.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 14, 2011 1:40 PM

Just wanted to give thanks for the shoutout to my drinking blog. Follow me as I imbibe my way through the NBA Lockout.
Thanks Pajibans

Posted by: BrandonBombay at November 14, 2011 1:41 PM

There's an NBA lockout?

Posted by: MrFrye at November 14, 2011 1:43 PM

Also, that Marine was pretty hot. I'll let her storm my beaches anytime. Rrrawrr.

I'm assuming that was in JT's preliminary draft of the letter before some PR person convinced him to take it out.

Seriously though regardless of how slimey/douchey he may or may not be, I see no reason why couldn't be touched by the ball. Douches (some of them anyway) have hearts too. Full disclosure: I love Justin Timberlake, or at least his public persona.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 14, 2011 1:54 PM

That is, in fact, the correct response McFrye. Well done.

Posted by: Socraz6 at November 14, 2011 2:21 PM

I feel oppressed by that flow chart! Where are the Unitarian Universalists?!

Posted by: tamatha at November 14, 2011 2:29 PM

Must lie down for a minute. Vomit sauna. Feeling faint...

Posted by: Bob Frapples at November 14, 2011 2:42 PM

Yeah, so if the marine in question had looked more like the jarheads backing her up in her invitation video, instead of being a hottie, would it have decreased JT's supposed douchery? Still, Semper Fi, ladies and gents!

Can't get to the flowchart thanks to the Net-nazis controlling access here. I'll check it later.

What I would put on a traffic sign should I happen to hack one? "I've got a bad feeling about this." (Although it probably wouldn't fit...)

Posted by: NateS1973 at November 14, 2011 2:42 PM

Socrates_Johnson:

You're not bringing Pokemon into this relationship until you watch the Godfather.

That is all.

Signed,

Your naggy internet girlfriend

Posted by: scorzi at November 14, 2011 2:46 PM

I feel oppressed by that flow chart! Where are the Unitarian Universalists?!

Posted by: tamatha at November 14, 2011 2:29 PM

Everywhere.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 14, 2011 2:57 PM

Joanna Porn

Picture of Fassbender

Damn it!

Posted by: Paultera at November 14, 2011 3:07 PM

SOCRATES HASN'T WATCHED THE GODFATHER? Dude.

Speaking of, "and you call yourself a movie lover, you son of a bitch?", has Dustin seen Lawrence of Arabia yet?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 14, 2011 3:08 PM

Mrs. Julien,

He's trying to woo me and still hasn't seen the Godfather (I,II or III) OR Scarface.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Posted by: scorzi at November 14, 2011 3:14 PM

Scorzi,

To be fair, no one should see Godfather III.

I mean, seriously, THE GODFATHER? That's like saying you're an "astronaut", but you've never really looked at the moon.

There aren't enough "Dudes" for this situation. We need a whole new word. May Godtopus have mercy on his soul.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 14, 2011 3:20 PM

Well now I'm not going to see it just to spite you two.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 14, 2011 3:23 PM

Fine then.

No sex.

Posted by: scorzi at November 14, 2011 3:26 PM

Neil Gaiman's library puts all of those to shame.

Posted by: Quorren at November 14, 2011 3:29 PM

You severely underestimate my resolve.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 14, 2011 3:48 PM

@Socrates_Johnson:

Resolve to go without sex?

Posted by: scorzi at November 14, 2011 3:56 PM

I will always remember this day; the day Fasssssbender eye-fucked me at Pajiba.
Praise Joanna.

Posted by: Ophelia at November 14, 2011 4:30 PM

I was fooled by "Joanna porn" too, Paultera

Posted by: Kolby at November 14, 2011 4:53 PM

This is why we can't have a nice space program.

Posted by: Jay at November 14, 2011 4:53 PM

Fassbender has the body of a well developed 10 year old boy.

Posted by: snapnhiss at November 14, 2011 4:56 PM

Does anyone know where I can find a product that will give me voluminous lashes? I'm tired of faking it!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 14, 2011 4:58 PM

Oh, Mrs. J., you so outrageous.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at November 14, 2011 5:49 PM

Didn't we have a post where we admitted our cinematic sins? Movies we never saw and all that?

I know I admitted that I never saw Magnificent Seven until Classics Week. When is that coming back, by the way?

Posted by: Vermillion at November 14, 2011 6:17 PM

I've never seen any of the Godfather films or Scarface, either. I feel like I've heard enough about them and seen enough clips to get the basic gist.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 14, 2011 8:11 PM

@MelBivDevoe:

But Socrates_Johnson likes me off of Pajiba. And he knows Al Pacino is my God. He has a nerd fetish for Pokemon. If we were to merge as a super Pajiba couple, the Pokemon fetish cannot continue until he bows down and worships at the altar of early Pacino....starting with THE FUCKING GODFATHER!!!!!!!!

Posted by: scorzi at November 14, 2011 8:20 PM

Why not start him out slowly with a stuffed sheepdog and Serpico?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 14, 2011 9:59 PM

What's the big deal about the poop tea? Didn't we already go through this a few years back with a coffee called Kopi Luwak aka Shit Eating Grin blend?

For those who want to know, it's from Sumatra and is made from the beans found in Luwak droppings, (think tropical ferret) that eats coffee cherries, and which digests the cherry fruit, but can't digest the beans. After the beans are gathered and thoroughly "cleaned" (suuure they are), the passed beans remain and the digestive process they went through allegedly adds flavor to the roasting. The coffee costs around $50 a pound, and might very well be the most expensive coffee on earth.

It is also a wonderful way in which to separate rich fools with some of their money. I'm wondering what the first desperate coffee addict was thinking that they decided they had to go sifting through excrement in order to find their fix. How'd you like to be the unlucky bastard who has to root through ferret shit to pick out the beans as your job? What's next peanut butter? Banana loafs? Granola?

"Kopi Luwak isn't coffee.....IT'S PEE AND POO!!!!!!"

Posted by: bleujayone at November 14, 2011 10:11 PM

Fassbender has the body of a well developed 10 year old boy.

Awwwww, yeeeaaaahhhh.

Oh, and as regards the "poop tea": The *plants* are *fertilized* with the panda shit. The tea itself is not *made with* panda shit. And I'm fairly certain there's a whole processing stage, in which I am certain the plants are cleaned and dried before being packaged.

And I'm also pretty certain that panda shit is a damn sight preferable to the poisonous chemical fertilizer that's used by other tea producers.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 14, 2011 11:31 PM

Why does Timberwhatshisname have to get the header picture? I think it was a trick because I seriously thought this was an article entirely devoted to his overexposedforoveradecadefornoreasonwhatsoeverpersona.
I was so ready to join in the live debate.

Posted by: Candy at November 15, 2011 12:58 AM

P.S. after reading baout Fassbender dragging his ex girlfriend down the street on the side of a car and busting up her knee-cap and an ovarian cyst, I'm not so keen on him anymore. She could be lie-telling but who knows.

Posted by: Candy at November 15, 2011 1:01 AM

Candy, if it's true then all the rabid fangirls will transform the story into him saving the woman's life by miraculously curing her of a hidden medical condition.

Posted by: snapnhiss at November 15, 2011 7:35 AM

"That's Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak to you."

You can't handle his girth.

Posted by: Craig at November 15, 2011 7:06 PM