Joseph Gordon-Levitt Recites A "Tasteful Poem About Cunnilingus" ...Pun Intended
Don't fret, pets, everyone's favorite grimy little pimp is right where he ought to be.
Speaking of controversial television, I'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath to hear what James Franco thinks of HBO's "Girls." As much as I love love love that show (and I do, I want to be Shoshanna's Crack Spirit Guide), I have to reluctantly agree with some of Franco's criticisms. (Uproxx)
Here's a list of 15 books by great authors that were never finished...mostly on account of the authors being dead. I have had that Steinbeck since childhood and had no idea it was unfinished. (Buzzfeed)
But why worry about all the books that might have been when we have such amazing modern literature to enjoy? Someone has broken down "50 Shades Of Grey" by its worst synonyms and offered some fixes. What needs fixing? Oh sh*t like "I know it will take an eternity to expunge the feel of his arms around me and his wonderful fragrance from my brain." (Vulture)
AMAZING VISUAL PALATE CLEANSER! I once saw a double rainbow over Waimea Bay, but this meteorological phenomenon blows it away. (Boing Boing)
I'd like to be supportive of all kinds of little girls and their dress-up preferences, but I can't help but think this birthday party blows all Princess Sparkle Tea Parties out of the water. (The Mary Sue)
James Bond v. Batman? More like Q vs. Lucius Fox. (The Curious Brain)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon came out my freshman year of college, so I saw many a-dorm room plastered with images like this...only nudier.
Now the weirdest story has come to light about Zhang Ziyi. I don't like to believe it and I feel a little like a grimy pimp myself even "reporting it"...but here it is. (IDLYITW)
Speaking of National Sex Symbols, Scarlett Johansson is in talks to play Maggie in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof on Broadway. Frankly that's not terrible casting. The A-list actor they're courting to play Brick, however? That is grade-A, top notch, perfect casting. (NYT)
Studies show that TV is terrible for your children and for their self-esteem. Unless, of course, they're young white males. Those little f*ckers are impervious. (Warming Glow)
You know the phrase "never trust a skinny chef?" Well, apparently, Mario Batali's version is "never trust a skinny little actress to judge your food." Way to harsh on the entire Bravo Network, Mario. (Food Beast)
Speaking of food competitions, have you ever done "The Cinnamon Challenge?" I failed miserably a few years ago and ended snorting the spice right out of my nose in puff of humiliation and defeat. Little Maisie Williams aka Arya Stark, on the other hand, takes it like a champ. As if you had any doubt.
As I've said elsewhere, watching Snow White And The Huntsman has forced me to realize that it's not Kristen Stewart I hate, it's Bella Swan. Watch her masterfully avoid calling Twilight a piece of sh*t in this recent interview. (Celebitchy)
Finally, if they're going to continue to make cool, dark updated fairytales, I'd like them to please make this sexual innuendo-laden "Little Red Riding Hood" starring JGL. Please? Thank you.
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