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Jon Stewart is a Giant Dick and President Obama Has a Nice Ass. ALLEGEDLY

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (36)



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Jesus Christ, Paz de la Huerta: You look like you should be miniaturized, holding a pitchfork, standing on Neil Patrick Harris’ shoulder and whispering bad advice into his ear. (GoFugYourself) And over on Celebitchy, Agent Bedhead gets in on the fun, too. (Celebitchy)

I do enjoy it when right-wing crazies attack each other, but I’m going to have to side with Greta Van Susteren here in her attack on Tucker Carlson for interviewing Mike Tyson and then sensationalizing his comments about Sarah Palin allegedly having sex with Glen Rice, who Tyson called: “The Womb Shifter.” It is a clever nickname, though. (Politico)

Good news for those of you who, like me, dislike 3D (except for with so-good-it’s-bad horror flicks): It’s basically f*cked. Hopefully, by the time The Great Gatsby is released, inexplicably in 3D, the fad will finally have run its course. (FilmDrunk)

Are you keeping up with all the latest on Ghostbusters 3, including the plot details that Sigourney Weaver revealed because no one wanted to hear about Abduction. Well stop, the movie isn’t going to happen. OK? (Slashfilm)

In the off chance that we haven’t exhausted this enough yet, here is an infographic detailing all the changes that George Lucas made to Star Wars on Blu. (The Mary Sue)

This new Tumblr is very NSFW, but in the wake of Scarlett Johansson’s nude photo phone hack scandalpalooza, everyone is getting in on the “Here’s a picture of my ass” craze. Who are we to complain? (Tush)

Internet phenoms Danger Guerrero and LOLSlater kick off a five-part discussion on the greatest TV movie ever made: “Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style.” (LOLSlater)

And while we’re not on the subject at all, ladies: Check your birth control pills. Apparently, due to a packaging mishap, you might be taking worm medication. Or something. (Hot Ink)

The Times has a really nice piece up on the importance of character actors, and how they can often bring dynamism to small roles that are flat on the page. (NYTimes)

Agree or disagree: David Simon’s refusal to shut-up about “The Wire” and let the show speak for itself is ruining “The Wire”? (Nerve)

What? Don’t be bad-mouthing Jon Hamm’s long-time girlfriend Jennifer Westfeld (she of Kissing Jessica Stein fame). Since when did a 40-year-old woman with a shiny (and cute) face become accused of using Botox> If she’s good enough for Hamm, she’s good enough for the rest of us, damnit. (Celebitchy)

In the latest Esquire, reporter Tom Junod reveals what most of us probably already know: That Jon Stewart is kind of a dick. But he’s our dick, goddamnit. (Uproxx)

The only thing I find more annoying than planking are those flash mobs, but mostly because I can’t help myself from watching. This one has a special brand of blonde: These Indianapolis Colts cheerleaders take to the food court, apparently under the assumption that, if you shake it hard enough, Peyton Manning’s neck will magically heal itself. Goddamn it, Colts. The Browns? The Browns? (Ugly Fours)

This? This is why the Foo Fighters are the greatest rock and roll band still around: Most people get upset when Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church protests their event. Not Dave Grohl: He sees it as an opportunity to convert a new audience. Hell, even the lady with the “God Hates F*gs” sweatshirt digs the song.









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Comments

While it is nice that the Foo Fighters would mock the Westboro Baptist Church, I don't know if this adequately makes up for their support of the AIDS denial group Alive & Well. Encouraging people to not take their AIDS medication is a bit creepy.

Posted by: skippy at September 19, 2011 1:30 PM

That's a lot of booty! Not that I'm complaining. I would submit though that the two best Johansennningssins are the velociraptor and the German Shepard.

Posted by: admin at September 19, 2011 1:32 PM

I've met Jon Stewart. I know people who work with Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart is one of the kindest, mellowest, most genuine and down to earth people working in entertainment. Anyone who says otherwise has an agenda.

Posted by: Martin at September 19, 2011 1:32 PM

Yeah, but the Foo Fighters are still HIV denialists...

Posted by: Jerry at September 19, 2011 1:45 PM

That Esquire article is a load of crap. It's one guy's personal rant using freely attainable information he gathered to prove his point that he thinks Jon Stewart is a dick. All an article like this takes is someone with decent writing skills, a budget, and an axe to grind. The beauty of Jon Stewart is he calls it like it is in a way no one else currently does. And when your argument becomes so factual that it can't be disputed, can't even be spun, the only thing an opposing voice is left with is to call the speaker a dick. Real mature.

My claws come out when it comes to Jon Stewart. He's one of the few rational voices we have right now, and has restored my sanity countless times when the world, via the media, seems like it's spinning out of control.

Posted by: katy at September 19, 2011 1:54 PM

Fuck that, Dustin, I'm disappointed in you for posting this.

Posted by: Melody Be at September 19, 2011 1:58 PM

I have never met Jon Stewart and know nothing about him outside of his show, but that article did seem to be heavily based on the input of former writers no longer with the show since he took over.
I remember the pre-Jon Stewart Daily Show. It wasn't funny and certainly wasn't topical. Could it possibly be that these writers are no longer with the show because what they wrote wasn't funny?

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 19, 2011 2:11 PM

skippy:

Alive & Well doesn't just encourage people not to take their meds, they encourage people who have HIV NOT to get their children diagnosed and treated. The founder of the org let her three-year old daughter die of AIDS-related p. carinii because she refused to get her diagnosed.

So yeah, much as I love the music, the Foo Fighters can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 19, 2011 2:18 PM

I also have to agree with above commenters on the Stewart article. I have no vested interested in whether John is a "dick" or not. But, the article seemed to have its own agenda in making him look bad and mean. At some points the writer seemed so desperate to make his point that he actually did exactly what he accused Stewart of doing and turned himself into the bully. I agree with a few criticisms of Stewart here and there, but that article, was weird and certainly served only to make me feel defensive of Stewart.

Posted by: Nimue at September 19, 2011 2:18 PM

Re: Peyton Manning.
Where stem cells fail, cheerleaders may succeed? LIFT THE BAN ON CHEERLEADER MEDICAL RESEARCH!

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 19, 2011 2:27 PM

Agree or disagree: David Simon’s refusal to shut-up about “The Wire” and let the show speak for itself is ruining “The Wire”?

At least he's not inserting new effects and scenes into it.

Posted by: Fredo at September 19, 2011 2:47 PM

I didn't even know there was such a thing as an HIV denialist.

Posted by: Kristen at September 19, 2011 2:50 PM

They're to the left of the "Who Was Shakespeare Really" people.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 19, 2011 2:59 PM

That is to say medical research of cheerleaders, not medical research done by cheerleaders, which I'm fairly certain is perfectly legal.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 19, 2011 3:05 PM

How can anyone be an HIV denialist?

Posted by: ZombieNurse at September 19, 2011 3:07 PM

How can anyone be an HIV denialist?

Because people willing to deny enough obvious evidence can convince themselves any damn thing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Earth

Posted by: branded at September 19, 2011 3:16 PM

"How can anyone be an HIV denialist?"

Because there's a lot of money to be made out of running a foundation that gives desperate people something irrational but comforting to cling to. "You may have HIV but there's no link between HIV and AIDS, and most people are alive and well with HIV". Isn't that what most people would want to believe if they were given an HIV diagnosis?

Look at all the crap about the measles vaccine and autism.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 19, 2011 3:20 PM

OhmyJesus the Tush tumblr and LOLSlater blog were friggin Certified Internet GOLD. Thank you Mr. Dustin!

Posted by: Rest In Peace at September 19, 2011 3:24 PM

I love that the evidence against the Hollow Earth theory is a. visual evidence and b. gravity. It must be such a downer for the theorists. Get it? Downer? Because gravity pulls thin-

I'll show myself out.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 19, 2011 3:25 PM

That HIV denial thing was 11 years ago. Who knows the Fighters still support these morons?

Posted by: FabMax at September 19, 2011 3:34 PM

The banner ad for me is an ad for Hellman's and a recipe for "Parmesan Crusted Chicken". Apparently, you spread mayo on the chicken, sprinkle it with parmesan and bake it in the oven. It bears repeating: The recipe is to SMEAR MAYO on chicken and SPRINKLE CHEESE on it.

It's like one of those Kraft recipes on the Carol Burnett show where you made a "sophisticated hors d'oeuvres" out of pimento loaf, Grape Nuts and Velveeta.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 19, 2011 3:53 PM

pimento loaf, Grape Nuts and Velveeta

Awesome! I haven't had lunch yet; I'm going to the store!

Posted by: MM at September 19, 2011 3:57 PM

Greta is a close friend of Sarah Palin, so it doesn't surprise me that she would jump to defend her.

Posted by: Riles at September 19, 2011 4:19 PM

I'd rather be a Jon Stewart dick than a Glenn Beck dick or a Rush Limberger dick or a Sarah Palin dickess.

Posted by: kirbyjay at September 19, 2011 4:21 PM

Please kirbyjay, the correct term is "dickette". Try to be a little more sensitive. I find it easiest to simply stick with a gender neutral term such as "preening piehole of a human being".

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 19, 2011 4:34 PM

I'm sorry. I'm a bit short on fresh brew today.
What is that the flash mob girlies were protesting or supporting??

Btw. For NFL pro level dancing cheergals, that aint got *squish* for
rhythm and unison. Sheesh!

Posted by: MsMoMo at September 19, 2011 4:52 PM

Ugh. Apparently a bit short on grammer and sentence structure too.
Sorry about that folkes.

The Indy 'Colt-ettes' can't seem to dance their way out of a paperbag though
in that clip.

Posted by: MsMoMo at September 19, 2011 4:55 PM

My dad had the same Willy Nelson gray braids wig that Fighter of Foo is wearing.

Btw, Dustin - I don't know if I can trust your fantasy football Ugly Fours if they aren't aware that the Giants don't *have* cheerleaders. (ok, that's from a few days ago, but I was really busy last week and missed some PLove. Apparently not so busy today though...)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at September 19, 2011 5:26 PM

The Foo Fighters video comes across as painfully staged.

Posted by: Matt at September 19, 2011 5:39 PM

Just clicked on the Cavill pix...he looks more like Superman in every shot...and man can his thighs fill out a pair of jeans.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at September 19, 2011 5:40 PM

I was trying to tell you people last night that Jon Stewart was a prick. But since he's a libertarian con artist and his friend Bill Maher is a progressive douche bag....fuck it. I'm tired.

Posted by: Pookie at September 19, 2011 8:57 PM

shut the hell up, Rowles. Only I am good enough for Hamm.

Posted by: Figgy at September 19, 2011 11:46 PM

Wow that John Stewart article was a pile of bitterness and fail.

I could easily believe John Stewart's a dick, he's a television personality, we don't know him. But that article couldn't have worn its cards on its sleeve any more plainly. That guy hates John Stewart.

Posted by: Ender at September 20, 2011 6:01 AM

At the risk of frightening myself by agreeing with Pookie, Bill Maher is clearly a worldclass pompous jerk (and a misogynistic one to boot).

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 20, 2011 10:04 AM

At this point, I'm torn between sacrificing the cheerleaders to the football gods in hopes of reclaiming the season, or praying the Colts lose them all. My dream scenario:

Colts lose all of them - even the Bengals game - with teams moronically running up the score just because they can, then the Colts get the first round pick and draft Mr. Luck, then Peyton comes storming back, and pays back every touchdown twofold while teaching Mr. Luck all his magic QB mojo, then the Colts run the table, and Peyton hoists the SB trophy, which he will put in his trophy case next to his comeback player of the year and 5th MVP, saving a spot for the Emmy he wins for his second hosting job on SNL, then he hands the reins over to Mr. Luck who plays just as well and just as long, until the Colts can replace him with Marshall Williams Manning...

Hey - you don't know my life!

Posted by: funtime42 at September 20, 2011 8:23 PM

@ ender -- I met John Stewart once and he's a nice, genuine person. What you see on TV mirrored what I saw, except that since he didn't really know any of us (I was friends with a relative of his) he was a tad more shy. Tom Junod wants to sell copy. That's the long and short of it.

Posted by: negative 1 at September 20, 2011 11:34 PM