Pajiba

God bless, Dustin. Congrats :) Glad everyone is healthy and happy.

Congratulations to you and your family! Baby girls are so much fun...and such a different ballgame than raising a little boy. I wish you and your wife and children the very best.

Congratulations and good luck.

Enormous congratulations, Dustin!

At first I was like, “YAY BABEHIIIEEESSSSSS”, and then I was like, “OH INDEED GOOD SIR, INFUCKINGDEED”, and then I just sort of chilled out, “whatevs Baynis I don’t care”, and “Oscar was orange, oh yeah? weird”, and then I raised one eyebrow for the BigHollyw**d link and skipped right over that mess and instead started to daydream about The Goose, and then I was like “SWEET MOTHER OF GOD WHAT HAS DUSTIN POSTED; CHRISTALMIGHTY I THINK I’M GOING TO VOMIT” and then I scrolled down furiously to get the nasty garbage off my screen and finally I was greeted by Jon Stewart, the much needed palate cleanser. Although I still might need the bottle of bleach. Just in case.

Congratulations Dustin. And also? Fuck you for that image. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
/shudder

Many congratulations to you and your family, Dustin. I hope the next month speeds by without a hitch.

My wife gave birth to our first child last week, and just the few hours each night I was forced to leave her and the baby at the hospital and come home alone were utter torture, so you'll be in my thoughts throughout the next few weeks.

Ass-whooping video please.

Congrats on the new Rowles additions: may they thrive and be happy. One more reason to vote Obama in November to avoid your daughters being subject to Santorum Sharia Law as they grow up.

Just in case some of you don't know about the photographer who took the Lohan pics, here's a delightful article on his MO.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2010/mar/19/terry-richardson-fashion-photography-pornography

Holy smokes! Congratulations on two beautiful baby girls!

And born on Valentine's Day, no less!!

Holy shit, Dustin. And here you've been keeping us all entertained the whole time? You're an inspiration, sir. Congrats to you and your family!!

PS - Yeah, I wanna know their names, too. :)

No, I saw "Planet Of The Apes".

Congratulations Dustin. Best wishes to you and yours!

Congrats to you and Mrs. Pajiba-Hyphenate! You do know you'll never be able to top the gift she gave you for Valentine's Day, right? ;P

I love that Unreality article. But I'm a little ashamed to admit the "Mission: Impossible" plot hole never occurred to me.

Congratu-baby-lations!

Congratulations to you and Mrs. Pajiba-Hyphenate! That is amazing, wonderful, joyful news.

I've been reading Pajiba forever, but I don't think I've ever commented. But as a mom of monoamniotic twins, this one's bringing me out of the woodwork to say: congratulations on getting them here safely. I know the NICU's no fun, but with momo's, it's just a relief to have them out and breathing. Best of luck for the rest of the journey!

Huh... something odd happened to my comment. Love HTML...

Can I get an "edit" button so I look less stupid?

Congrats Dustin! Will they be growing up in Portland? I grew up in North Yarmouth...Maine is a great place for a childhood.

Congrats again! I'll overlook that crack about redheads being murderous, but next time? I KEEEEL YOU!

Enjoy your new kids!

Hahaha MM...that was my first thought too!

Much congratulations, Dustin!

I had to look up the word monoamniotic and all I can say is yes, your wife is truly miraculous! Congratulations to you all.

Boffo! Boffo!

Hooray! Hooray!

Well done! Well done!

Get some sleep. Get some sleep.

You'll need it. You'll need it.

Congratulations to you, your lovely wife and your new lovely girls. I am sorry you have to spend their first weeks with them in NICU, but it's a small price to pay for their good health in the future.

@ PaddyDog:
Tell that uptight buffoon that unlike all the pervs who ogle her kid every day of the week as she goes through LIFE interacting with HUMANS, the pervs on the web have no physical access to the child, so are therefore pretty harmless.
God, what a dingbat.
THE CHILDREN, SAVE THE CHILDREN, WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN...!!! Get some damn perspective lady. And how sick is SHE that she sexualizes pics of kids at a party as a default in her own little head.
I hate people.
Happy Wednesday!

That Lohan pic is hideous. Why is it that almost every pic of her these days (I mean the professional ones) are so... gaudy? Tacky? She is (or was, perhaps) a very lovely woman. Can't they try for something a bit more natural.

I doubt you really want to see her in her natural state.

I'll call back in 11 years to see how double female puberty is working for you. If you make it. And if you do, you'll only have the middle school/high school/college years to survive.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Congrats, Sir Dustin of Rowles!

Now I'd invite all fathers of daughters to scroll back to the LiLo picture and ask yourself this very important question, "What do I have to do and/or be in my little girl's life so that she never takes a picture like this?"

Trust me. You'll thank yourselves later.

Congrats on the babehs!!!

two identical twin girls
As opposed to 2 twins?

...or maybe opposed to fraternal twins?

Muchas Congratulations Dustin and Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate, and the girls. May you all be blessed with health and happiness!

I'm glad mother and children are doing well. And, really, the Shining Twins aren't that bad. The other twins that sprang immediately to mind are the various sets who posed in Playboy and those supremacist kids who released a record celebrating white power.

Congrats on the spawn. The only thing better than a daughter would be two.

Congratulations, Dustin. Good luck with the NICU stay. I remember those days! (Nine weeks for my youngest. It's amazing how routine the application of hand sanitizer becomes.)

@PaddyDog

Once upon a time it was reasonable to expect that if anyone took a picture of you or your kid in a public setting if they intended to publish that photo they would ask for permission first.

However, in this digital age with pervasive social networking when most people have at least one camera on them at all times (and probably several more pointed at them in the name of security) we can no longer assume privacy when we are outside of our own homes.

If someone feels very strongly about not having pictures of their child posted online then their feelings are valid (a little over-sensitive by most standards, but still valid), however they have to take responsibility for making those feelings known. She has to tell people upfront that she does not want photos of her daughter shared on Facebook, Flicker, or other public online photo sharing sites. The practice is simply too common and too widely accepted. You have to assume that pictures will be taken at an event or party and that those pictures will be shared.

Asking them to be removed is fine, and the person who posted them should comply and apologize. Beyond that, the responsibility lies with the parent to understand that birthday party pictures are going to be shared digitally and anything shared digitally is (potentially) out there forever. (Although the odds that pedophiles, or anyone, has backed up these photos in particular during their brief online existence among the billions of images that exist online is extremely remote and not something a reasonable person should worry about.)

This has been Yossarian's Mailbag. Tune in next week and send your questions & conundrums to Ask Yossarian c/o Pajiba.com

Paddydo - Mom who is unhappy needs to chill out - nothing can change what happened, but Birthday Mom can just be aware of her preferences in the future and not post her kid in pictures.

No damage actually has been done - none that can be proven - and unhappy Mom can't be sure that a picture has been downloaded for illicit purposes any more than she can be sure that someone on the street hasn't taken a photo of the kid going about her daily life.

Also: everyone should have a private Facebook account. (Or no Facebook account, like me).

Hey Paddydog - my sister-in-law does he same thing, to the extent that if you take a picture of the family over Christmas dinner, she'll check: 'That's not going on Facebook is it?'... It's almost like anyone on my friends list that might - and it's a huge stretch, but admittedly, you never know - want to jack off over pictures of a four-year-old, will (a) choose her daughter, and (b) know her name, address, and itinerary away from her mother from her incidental inclusion in a family photo uploaded to Facebook. My ultimate response to her, every time? Bollocks. Grow up. The world is far fucking bigger than that, even if you're not.

I proudly uploaded photos of my newborn daughter to my friends on Facebook this week. Anyone who can't keep their dick in their pants can knock themselves out.

Congrats again, Dustin! I hope all continues to go as smoothly as possible in the ICU.

I have twin nieces, by the way; you and Molly are going to get good workouts lugging those two around when they get bigger!

Mazel tov, Dustin!

RE photos at kids birthday party:

Don't most people expect photos to be taken (and nowadays, thrown up on Facebook very soon thereafter) at events like holiday gatherings, parties and weddings?

The time to decree that no photos be taken of your child is AT the birthday party, not days afterwards. As a compromise, if the complainant's kid is the only one visible in the picture, go ahead and take it down. But if the birthday kid is also visible in the picture, keep it. Or find a way to obscure the complainant's kid's face. Put a black circle over the kid's face and replace the existing pic with that one. Then she can explain to everybody why her kid's face has a black circle over it.

Congrats on the doubles DR and Mrs Pajiba-Hyphenate.

Late home from work (that shit takes up way too much of my valuable time) and consequently late in CONGRATULATING THE DUSTIN HOUSEHOLD

Awwws and Yays for the little twins! (Babies reduce my vocabulary excited/happy sounds)

Congratulations, Dustin, upon the birth of your twin daughters!

I, too, add my congratulations to the cue. More people to love!

Congrats Dustin! Hope things go well in the next couple weeks and everyone will be home safe and sound soon.

And now that you have a boy and girls, I think you should be prepared for the emotional scarring that will no doubt be coming your way, courtesy of Louis C.K.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTrCBcrFMCI

(No, I don't know how to imbed a link, what are you looking at?)

I'm so incredibly happy.

I think their names should be Mock and Droll Rowles.

Congrats again to your family!

Is your son excited about having baby sisters to play with? As the oldest of four it was always a trip to watch the next sibling arrive and see how it the former-youngest took it (starting with me at age 2). I *Highly* recommend hiding pots and pans around him for awhile. Let's just say my youngest brother had a drum solo played on his head with a spaghetti pot by my next-youngest brother when he was a few months old.

"Anyone who can't keep their dick in their pants can knock themselves out."

Thank you! A very timely warning. As a person with Enormous Penis Syndrome (EPS) I find I get very little sympathy from people. And don't get me started on Dicklash, it's a whole new sort of pain.

"two identical twin girls"
"As opposed to 2 twins?"

My mom and her sister are unidentical (i.e. fraternal) twins.
Twins don't have to be different sexes to be fraternal twins.
They just have to be from different eggs.

Congrats Dustin, Mrs. and the childrens! Enjoy!

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