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James Franco's Selfie Game Somehow Got Creepier Last Night

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | May 2, 2014 | Comments ()


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Science says that most people actually loved the How I Met Your Mother Finale. This conclusion demonstrates how the internet can whip itself into a black hole of hatred at any convenient opportunity. (WG)

You too can own a piece of “conscious uncoupling” history. Gwyneth Paltrow is selling items from her luxurious closet! Everyone’s all impressed at how the sale is crashing the Goop website, but here’s the truth: Gwyneth simply has sh*tty web servers. (Lainey)

Ronan Farrow has been feeding those rumors of being Frank Sinatra’s son with extra-blue contact lenses. Atta boy. (DListed)

James Franco upped his selfie game last night by posting an “Al Bundy” shot on his Instagram. Franco’s hand was stuffed down his pants, and he was only wearing white boxer briefs. Franco sobered up and removed the photo, but you can still see it here. (Uproxx)

The new X-Men: Days of Future Past clip decided that it was a good idea to explain why Professor X can, you know, walk. (Slashfilm)

Justin Timberlake transforms the new Michael Jackson song, “Love Never Felt So Good,” into a posthumous duet. The whole concept of a “posthumous duet” seems super skeevy, doesn’t it? (WP)

The “Tony Stark as Superman” doll was a terrible idea. (Unreality)

Toxicology results have returned results for Peaches Geldof’s cause of death. She overdosed on heroin. She leaves behind two baby boys under the age of 2 years, a very distraught young husband, and a shattered Bob Geldof. (Celebitchy)

I bet you never thought you’d find the pants of Martha Stewart remarkable in any way, right? Guess again, bucko. (GFY)

Daniel Craig & Benecio Del Toro lead the charge in the White House’s new anti-sexual assault public service announcement video. (TMS)

Yessir, the student films of David Lynch, David Cronenberg, and Tim Burton were all indicative of the creepiness these muthaf*ckers would carry off today. (MF)

Mariah Carey is still using the same image of herself at age 29 to cover her upcoming album. The title of that album is a doozy: Me. I am Mariah. The Elusive Chanteuse. (INO)

Kate Upton is pretty much on the cover of every goddamn magazine this month. That’s a good thing, right? The clothing is awful. She should get rid of it. (EB)

You probably heard about that Oklahoma Capitol Satanic monument that was being planned. Well, the statue is nearing completion. It looks even more ridiculous than the drawing would suggest. (Gawker)

Scientists have finally discovered the method that ancient Egyptians used to move big old rocks and build the pyramids. Next up? Figure out how the f*ck Stonehenge appeared. (Gizmodo)

Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She can be found at Celebitchy.com.




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Nadiney

    Was the other way that the Egyptians built the pyramids through the combined man power of, ya know, thousands and thousands and thousands of slaves?

  • "Kate Upton is pretty much on the cover of every goddamn magazine this month. That’s a good thing, right? The clothing is awful. She should get rid of it." I agree with you about the clothing, although probably not in the way you meant it.

  • So basically, "I wouldn't be caught dead in a duet with -------" just got kicked in the taint. Nice.

  • googergieger

    I thought I had nothing. Then I met the guy with two dicks, and, wow...two dicks.

  • BWeaves

    I'm not sure Mariah Carey's fan base can even pronounce The Elusive Chanteuse. Good thing they'll probably just be downloading it illegally instead of going into stores and asking for it by name.

  • e jerry powell

    "The whole concept of a 'posthumous duet' seems super skeevy, doesn’t it?"
    I dunno. But blame it on Natalie Cole.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Still planning on using it for my father-daughter dance if the opportunity presents.

  • e jerry powell

    Or even if it doesn't.
    ;-)

  • dizzylucy

    Elusive Chanteuse sounds like it could be the alter ego of Candice Justice in the Rural Juror.

    And someone needs to take the internet away from Franco.

  • John W

    WHAT is wrong with Franco?

  • Mrs. Julien

    He's an artist. Not a good one, mind you, but an artist.

  • John W

    Back in my day we had a name for people who went around taking pictures of themselves naked and posting them in places for people to see: weirdo.

  • Ben

    Ya know if it was some young starlet posting half naked photos of herself and people slagging her out for it half the comments section would be jumping to her defense.

  • Buck off

    There's a register for such types these days. I'm sure he'll end up on one soon.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I think the term we are looking for with Franco is "pretentious".

  • csb

    I'm still convinced that positive comments about the HIMYM finale came from CBS sockpuppets and twitterbots, and I'll never be persuaded otherwise.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The Gizmodo link doesn't appear to be working, but here it is, because that is indeed so simple and yet so fantastic.

    http://gizmodo.com/scientists-...

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Funny, I have Elusive Chanteuse picked to place in the Derby tomorrow.

  • PDamian

    Really? I have Enticing Yodeller at 6-to-1.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Expository Whore 2 to 1.

  • Mrs. Julien

    James Franco is so meta. Just ask him, he'll tell you. He'll be all, "I'm so meta, I don't even know how meta I am,", then, he'll make a pass at a not-technically-illegal young woman and start talking about his "art".

  • AvaLehra

    He just looks so gross to me, as if he smells of four-day-old underwear and Kools.

  • And cheese puffs. This is definitely a dude who wears eau de cheese puff.

  • luthien26

    "The Elusive Chanteuse" is now going to be my handle for everything ever.

  • Berry

    At work: "Elusive Chanteuse was supposed to take care of this!" Home: "Where's Elusive Chanteuse? It's her turn to do the dishes." A message from your mother: "Good god, Elusive Chanteuse, what is going on with you, I've been trying to reach you all week."

    But you keep eluding them. 'cause you're elusive, see.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I may need to change my Pajibanym to The Elusive Chanteuse. Active Misogyny was a good alter-ego, but much too ban-able.

  • Berry

    Oh, that reminds me. Whatever happened to Active Misogyny's good friend The Double Standard? Is he (she, it?) too busy doing real life stuff to come and say hello to his/her/its Paji-buddies, I wonder.

  • The Double Standard

    I woke up one morning and found myself married to a woman who turned out to be a professor of Women's Studies, that's what happened. That's why you always Google your dates, kids. Also, don't have your first date in a city that has both bottomless drink specials and 24 Hour Wedding Chapels.

    Needless to say, my personal and professional lives clashed almost immediately. I've been looking for alternate employment, but times are tough for anthropomorphic personifications. All the good ones are already filled, so I've been mostly doing temp work. For a while there I was Craft Beer, but that didn't last long. Just as well, it was hard on the liver and required a degree of pretentiousness I don't really possess. Election season appears to be ramping up, which means I can probably get a gig as Cynical Pragmatism. Depending on how the election goes, I could probably parlay that into a permanent situation.

  • Berry

    Hey there! I would say nice to meet you, but you're kind of a dick, so we'll move right pass that. In any case, re: your employment situation. Have you looked into glib dismissals of complex issues? Granted, the job title is somewhat cumbersome, but those are always in demand. Plus it's a pretty easy gig. All you have to do is yell "PC gone mad" and "It was a different time" at regular intervals. Think about it.

  • The Double Standard

    I actually tried for Glib Dismissal, because it uses the same basic skill set I developed as The Double Standard, so I wouldn't really have to work all that hard. Plus, it's always entertaining to see how obvious you can be with the bullshit and still have people buy it. (Answer: pretty damn.)

    Active Misogyny gave the job to his brother-in-law, though, because apparently I don't belong to the right clubs and know the right people. I tried complaining about this to my wife, but she just eyeballed me some and then muttered something about irony.

  • Berry

    Active Misogyny is married too? I bet his wife is some stupid bitch who totally friendzoned some Nice Guy like Pretending To Be Friends (to get laid) or Putting Females On A Pedestal.

  • Mrs. Julien

    That is an excellent question. Someone should get on this.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I am going to describe my quest for the perfect cardigan as "The Elusive Chartreuse".

  • JJ

    Not to be confused with "The Illusive Chartreuse." Literally.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Actually, it could be. I have a deep and abiding love of iridescence and the only thing better than finding "The Elusive Chartreuse" would be to find the "Elusive Illusive Chartreuse", but I might faint from joy and hit my head. I need to think about this.

  • JJ

    It's likely fainting from deja vu from encountering the "Allusive Illusive Elusive Chartreuse."

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm more worried about it only being at a really fancy store I can't afford so it would be the "Exclusive Elusive Illusive Chartreuse".

  • PDamian

    Sometimes you can get one at the discount stores, but usually not, because the salespersons snap them all up before they even go on the shelves. They're all in on it, too, which is why it's also known as the "Collusive Exclusive Elusive Illusive Chartreuse."

  • Mrs. Julien

    Speaking of “posthumous duets”, has anyone else seen the freaky CGI Audrey Hepburn commercial for ... I don't know what. I was distracted by the uncanny valley.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    It's for Dove chocolate. Which I know because I've made a point to never buy their product after that stupid commercial.

  • BWeaves

    For a party, my co-irker and I rewrapped the Dove chocolate in our own "dirty" wrappers. By "dirty" I mean all the comments on the inside of the wrappers were NSFW.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Wow. That will sure lighten up the professional environment.

  • AvaLehra

    That thing is creeeepy. Her eyes, they are dead and weird.

  • TacoBellRey

    There's a Dior perfume commercial with Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly that creeps the hell out. Charlize Theron looks gorgeous in it though.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    DOVE. And I HATE IT.

  • ellie

    In the UK, it's called Galaxy chocolate, and it's weird as hell for me because over here Dove is a brand of deodorant..

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Dove is a really old moisturizing soap here, and a deodorant as well (actually one of the ones I use.) I've seen Galaxy chocolates, but hadn't realized they are the same.

  • Dumily

    A car? Or chocolate? Those are the only two things I vaguely remember from it. Unless they're advertising the services of the dashing driver, in which case, America is much more lenient in its manwhore advertising that I suspected.

  • stella

    Is that the once where she steals that nice bus drivers hat?

  • Stephanie

    It's for chocolate and it bothers me so much. Almost as much as using Fred Astaire to sell vacuum cleaners but don't get me started....

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