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Jake Gyllenhaal Accosted in SXSW Bathroom, Pajiba Staffers Too Drunk and Apathetic To Be Considered Suspects.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (37)



jake_gyllenhaal-12238.jpeg

Oh, Math Nerds, you clever gehls and boys, by associating your “Pi Day” with the delectability of pie, you’ve forced us all, for love of pastry, to sit up and take notice every March 14th. So happy day, nerds, you win again. Here’s an online game of Pick Up Sticks for you mathematically inclined. (Tommy Ogden)

Did you know that there is some weird group of Pi dissenters that advocate Tau Day instead? I’m afraid they’ll never win, for the Pi-heads have pastry on their side. (Tau Day)

And I know some of you more fractious fractals were saddened when this AMAZING Pi/Pie shirt was no longer available at Woot. (WHAT IS WITH YOUR ONE DAY AVAILABILITY REIGN OF TERROR, WOOT?) I found a somewhat similar shirt over at Zazzle. Cold comfort, I know. But cold pie, is still tasty pie. (Zazzle)

In case you’re doubting the supremacy of pie, here’s some scientific (and, yes, mathematical) proof. Some enterprising gent collected data on over one million tweets to find out what Twitter nation loves and what it hates. In addition to pie, it looks like we love lions, and Bidens and Biebers, oh f*ck. (Neo For Mix)

We love Jake Gyllenhaal too, right? I mean, we’re all cocking a bit of a skeptical eyebrow at the “Good Looking” T-shirt he has on in the header photo, but, in general, we find him likable. Yes? But do we like him enough to follow him into the bathroom and try to take a photo of his junk? YES! I mean, um, NO! Bad fan! Very bad. (Celebitchy)

If Jake is traumatized by that junk-related incident, he may want to consider consulting Barry Michaels, therapist to the stars. Listen, I could tell you to read this New Yorker profile on Michaels for the keen insights into adapted Jungian psychology, but I know you by now, my dears. You wanna read some dirt on the insecure elite of Hollywood? Well, look no further. (The New Yorker)

Speaking of celebrity dirt, please join me in a moment of silence for the lovely Alison Pill (aka Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim) who has betrothed herself to Jay Baruchel (aka what happens when you put Justin Long in the taffy puller). Jay may be a great guy, but his description of the proposal is not exactly charming. (Evil Beet)

You know, Evil Beet called Baruchel’s proposal typically hipster and I’m rather sick of “hipster” being synonymous with “douchey.” Because there are, in fact, some adorable hipsters. Like these yarn bombers. They’re waging a War of Cozy Terror. (Ishknits)

Also, ALSO, sometimes hipsters make great music. Our good friends over at AudioSuede have put together a “Most Anticipated Albums of 2011” list and while I can’t speak to the list as a whole, it contains not only two of my favorite hipster wailers (“Okkervil River” and “The Mountain Goats”), but also a very surprising Dionne Warwick entry. Oh, also? “Explosions in the Sky.” BOOM. (AudioSuede)

That “Explosions In the Sky” comment allows me to neatly transition into talking about “Friday Night Lights” which leads me to talk about this crap going on with the NFL. Yup, seamless transitions, everybody. That’s why I get paid the tiny bucks. (Yahoo)

This recut trailer of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as an indie coming-of-age comedy would have to recast Cameron Frye as the central character. You know what, I’d see that movie.

Finally, I leave you with this awesome concept video of Inception in 60 seconds. Come for the line drawings and moustaches, stay for the adorable German accents.


Joanna Robinson would like to apologize to anyone offended or outraged by some truly inane comments that were made in last Friday’s P. Love. If you want any of bleujayone’s stale Peeps, let me know here: godtopuswept@gmail.com or follow me @quityourJRob









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Comments

Yeah, a fan "followed" him to the bathroom riiiiiiight...

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 14, 2011 1:15 PM

The shirt should still be available on Woot! - just not for the one-day $10 price. Shirts don't leave shirt.woot.com until they've dropped in popularity enough so they're no longer in the top 25 (or 30? I forget). So folks can still get that shirt at Woot! And at $15, it's cheaper than the Zazzle lookalike!

http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=17682

Right now, #3 on the popularity list (The Reckoning) - so no danger of being unavailable at least for a little while.

(Woot!--JR)

Posted by: luthien26 at March 14, 2011 1:23 PM

Poor Jake. Tsk, tsk. Ordinarily I have no sympathy whatever for stars who get stalked by paparazzi or stripped naked by adoring fans, but come the fuck on, people. Some areas should still be off-limits, and the pissoir is one of the top ten.

(Unless you'd like to have a star urinate on you. Not for me to judge - I don't morally censure people.)

Posted by: The Wanderer at March 14, 2011 1:27 PM

Enough with the knitting.

And don't try to bring John Darnielle down to your own level. It's immature, son.

Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2011 1:34 PM

Well, I'm not hep with the youth today and I am loving the knitting.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 1:40 PM

I love the yarn bombers...I've seen some of their stuff in Rittenhouse Square...

Posted by: Sara Tonin at March 14, 2011 1:42 PM

Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2011 1:47 PM

Jay Baruchel, the divorce attorney will be saying the same thing to you in about 3 years. Douchey proposal, no question.

Posted by: Chickaboom at March 14, 2011 1:56 PM

I love that Ferris Bueller video. I would TOTALLY watch a movie based on Cameron. In fact, I was just talking about this movie last week and was saying how much I love Cameron. Gosh, I am so angsty.

Posted by: Nesto at March 14, 2011 2:04 PM

Jay, Jay, surrender to the purl stitch in the night.
Go gently to the moss stitch on the street light.
Don't rage against the joysome of the sight.

Surrender to the purled moon.
Embrace the brightly coloured cable stitched raccoon.

Oh Jay, life is sweeter with a crocheted parking meter.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 2:06 PM

All these wannabe nerds cooking pies for pi day are really baking 2*pi's (or 2*pies, if you will). Get it together, assholes.

Posted by: The_wakeful at March 14, 2011 2:09 PM

Why no, I haven't had eighteen straight whiskies, but that sounds like it would be a record.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 2:12 PM

Hey, I can yell into the storm if I want.

Pie's overrated anyway, Mr. Wakeful.

Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2011 2:18 PM

i have a sudden urge to watch garden state.

Posted by: stopthemadness formerly and currently known as Angry Black Lady at March 14, 2011 2:24 PM

I am never watching that goddamn movie.

Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2011 2:29 PM

Yeah, right, of course someone accosted Gyllenhaal in the little boys room. Because most men give off the “ I hope no one comes in here and tries to pull my pants down and do bad things to me” vibe. And let’s not forget that he did play a character that took it in the seat in some cowboy movie. Listen, I’m not saying that the guy drinks coffee using two hands, but things are certainly starting to add up.

Posted by: Pookie at March 14, 2011 2:29 PM

A knitting storm? Worse still a crocheting storm?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 2:30 PM

Hey, I'm fine with objets d'art (my friend made a uterus with a zipper on it) or clothing that...you know...does get made with wool.

But between them.....man, 746 is a damn scary aisle to look through. "THAT IS NOT MADE WITH YARN! STOP THAT!"

Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2011 2:40 PM

So what are we giving ,b>Pookie on the intentionally-inflammatory scale?

We are grading on a curve and allow extra points for brazenness, cunning, and potential offensensitivity.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 2:44 PM

F*ck!

Maybe The Other Agent Johnson is correct and I AM incapable of HTML tagging.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 2:47 PM

Don't let me down here, I defended your honour.

Posted by: Jay at March 14, 2011 2:48 PM

Mostly I was amazed that my standard orgy of SAT words gave me away.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 2:52 PM

Pookie knows what I'm talkin' bout. It's highly suspicious that a guy with Gyyeellanvalhalla's rep just happened to have a physical abthroom incident with some random dude.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 14, 2011 3:11 PM

Wait, WHAT? Yarn crafts are cool and hip and subversive now? Man I have been cool for YEARS and didn't even know it! I might have to pick up the hook agian. (Looks at pile of unfinished Godtopi)
Or maybe not.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at March 14, 2011 3:32 PM

A knitting storm? Worse still a crocheting storm?

Worsted is coming.

Posted by: mswas at March 14, 2011 3:42 PM

Pookie knows what I'm talkin' bout. It's highly suspicious that a guy with Gyyeellanvalhalla's rep just happened to have a physical abthroom incident with some random dude.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 14, 2011 3:11 PM

Listen, I’m just saying that I’ve never been “approached” in a mens room in all my life. A motherfucker wanna talk to me, he gotta wait till I come out the bathroom. But this fucking guy, my goodness, some guy tried to accost him in a mens room? And supposedly the guy had a camera, so the guy was trying to accost you and take your picture at the same time? Not trying to be racial or shit, but the brothers never find themselves mixed up in some bathroom foolishness.

Posted by: Pookie at March 14, 2011 3:45 PM

There's a lovely supply of Pi based merch at nerd-crack emporium ThinkGeek.

And yes, yes I do own a titanium spork. Not because saving half an ounce while I climb the major North American peaks in order their distance from the meridian, but because it is fucking cool. Titanium! Spork!

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at March 14, 2011 3:49 PM

The vocabulary totally gave it away Mrs. J.

Posted by: Paultera at March 14, 2011 4:02 PM

Did you know that there is some weird group of Pi dissenters that advocate Tau Day instead? I’m afraid they’ll never win, for the Pi-heads have pastry on their side.

Those voTAUries are so sad. I'd turn my nose up at them, but it'd exacerbate my post-nasal drip and/or cause a nosebleed.

SEMPER PI!

Posted by: branded at March 14, 2011 4:06 PM

Am I too old to buy 17 t-shirts on Think Geek? I may need the Inigo Montoya. I still rue (there's some vocabulary for you Paultera) the day I refrained from purchasing a Ben Linus for President "I always have a plan" shirt.

You bet your ass I'm going to buy a Pajiba shirt at the speed of light. Speaking if which ...

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 4:21 PM

Because there are, in fact, some adorable hipsters.
No. No there aren't.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at March 14, 2011 4:39 PM

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.
The Link Wench likes The Mountain Goats?

That's it, Joanna. You're my new favourite.
Here's your golden wench trophy.

Posted by: A-schaef at March 14, 2011 5:08 PM

You are never too old to buy 17 t-shirts - or anything else - on ThinkGeek.

This past solstice I got my "talk & eat cake and pretend we're gaming"-peeps: an "all edges" brownie pan, a dismemberable zombie doll, tech support dice and a "melee mug."

I got myself a titanium spork. A glorious, glorious titanium spork. It's a spork! It's titanium! It is the most ridiculous thing ever & I love it.

I am such a nerd.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at March 14, 2011 5:23 PM

look, it is a KNOWN FACT that i didn't have my phone with me while at sxsw this weekend. EVERYONE KNOWS it takes shitty pictures.

and BESIDES, i was with genny the whole time, so i have an alibi.

Posted by: gp at March 14, 2011 5:25 PM

You both suck.

Posted by: figgy at March 14, 2011 6:49 PM

Pfft hipstery. That sounds like my ideal proposal. Succinct, honourable exit option, agreeably arrogant.

Posted by: Alecto at March 14, 2011 8:46 PM

Mrs Julien You're never too old to buy 17 t-shirts on Thinkgeek. At least that's what I'll be telling myself for the next fifty years or so.

Posted by: ScienceGeek at March 15, 2011 12:06 AM