It's Official. Loki's Crashing The Superbowl.
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It's Official. Loki's Crashing The Superbowl.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | January 14, 2014 | Comments ()

loki copy.jpg

Our beloved and most dope pope is auctioning off his motorcycle and donating the proceeds to a local soup kitchen. So, in case you’re keeping track, he’s basically The Fonz at this point. (

The ad wizards over at NBC claimed they had a big Parks & Recreation surprise in store for us and then proceeded to tweet an image of that surprise. SURPRISE! You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. (CLICK FOR NOT AT ALL BIG DEAL SPOILER)

This delightful hatchet job on The Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown emerged yesterday so you may have already seen it. But if you haven’t, oh, strap in and enjoy the snark. It’s the best literary evisceration I’ve seen in a while. (The Millions)

And we’ll leave Dan Brown there with his d*ck viscera in his hands and take a quick look at this ad campaign for a show that actually exists in 2014. Mothers-In-Law! AMIRITE?!

I’m not a fan of defacing books unless you’re a) destroying Dan Brown or b) making an amazing work of art. Actually, truth be told, b) still doesn’t really sit well with me, but I’ll make a teeny exception for this Smaug made of pages from The Hobbit. (LS)

Any of you still watching Glee may be upset to know that the second half of this season and the rest of the series will be set exclusively in New York. If that means no more Mr. Buttchin, great. If it means no Unique, New York? Booooo. How will they get Coach Sue to NYC, though? Through some of that patented, organic Glee storytelling magic, I’m sure. (Vulture)

Michael Douglas explains why he joined Ant-Man. It’s not for the money, he said, there’s another reason. You know, for kids! (CB)

You guys John Hawkes and Michael Cera are going to be Charlie Kaufman’s new comedy TV pilot. My manic pixie dream spleen just exploded with delight. (Variety)

I know a lot of you look down your noses at gifs, but here’s one that has actual intellectual value. No, really, I swear! (io9)

In keeping with the promise that Peter Capaldi won’t be a “good boyfriend” Doctor but, rather, a “
mad and dangerous and difficult
” Doctor, here he is riding a stunt horse in a nightie.

More images of Peter F*cking Capaldi in a nightie can be found here. (Doctor WhoTV)

WHERE IS THE SHIA LEBEOUF RETIREMENT I WAS PROMISED? This nonsense is the Twitter equivalent of shaving your head and whacking things with an umbrella. When do we move from disgusted to concerned? (WG)

Tom Hiddleston, Mark “Low Winter Sun” Strong and Ben Kingsley are starring in a Jaguar Superbowl ad. There’s already an ad to get us ready for the ad. I. People…people. (AdWeek)

And here’s your supercut of Sterling Archer’s best one-liners. I hear something monumental happened this season. Something…something…danger zone!

Joanna Robinson is keenly aware that b*tches like a number of things besides Loki such as football, the 49ers, wings, beer and other ladies. She by no means thinks that the only reason women would watch The Superbowl is because they want to see Loki. BUT IT DON’T HURT.

You Like Batman With His Toys And His Sweet Fight Moves? Well How About A Show Where He's A Little Kid? | The 10 Biggest Box Office Bombs of 2014

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • My worst fear is that the Super Bowl is going to be between the Patriots and the 49'ers. That'd be like having to choose between AIDS and cancer as far as who I'd rather win. Hopefully it'll end up Broncos-Seahawks because then, not only will the game not make me want to kill myself, I'll stand a good chance of winning a fair bit of money.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    kinda how I felt during the Cowboys/Eagles game playoff game. But a Niners-Pats Superbowl is a no-brainer on the Niners for me.

  • If that's how it shakes out, I'll probably pull for the 49'ers by default, but I won't like it and it'll feel kinda dirty.

  • Ugh. Stupid NBC has been showing that image in every single ad for P&R that I've seen this year. It was in the ads for the 100th episode! Ugh. Why can't they do anything right?

  • Whistler

    Finally, a reason to watch the Superbowl if you don't know jackshit about american football!!!

  • loo shag brolley

    Pope Francis is like The Fonz, except he expects women to heed his every wish regarding their bod- POPE FRANCIS IS EXACTLY LIKE THE FONZ.

  • BWeaves

    Pope Francis wants women to nurse in public, in church if necessary.

    There's part of me that is happy about this, and part of me that says, "WHA?"

  • JenVegas

    That P&R "surprise" was in the commercial for this week's episode so I no, it does not mean what they think it means.

  • BlackRabbit

    Speaking to Dan Brown's Inferno: who reads Dante at 7 years old?

  • Batesian

    How'd they get the stunt horse to wear a nightie?

  • bastich

    Maybe the horse wore it just to be a good neigh-bor.

  • That pun made me laugh myself horse

  • Miss Jane

    Hmmm, associating a luxury product with the bad guys. It fits, but seems weird for a national sporting event that's about as middle America as it gets.
    Maybe they should get Jordan Belfort to sell retirement plans.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I refer to men like the character up there in the picture as "ball and chain guys". I don't need to tune in to show. If I want casual sexism, I can just stop tuning out the conversations around me at work.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Funny that you should mention the SuperBowl ad hype as I just noticed that it had taken over today. I went downstairs into Penn Station and Amtrak/Pepsi has a giant map of the area noting that "the Super Bowl is on our turf" and the pizzeria I sat at had tables covered in Coca-Cola-labeled "Big City. Big Game" wrapping.

  • the_wakeful

    But... it's in fookin Jersey.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    ...I didn't say WHICH Penn Station.

    I kid. Ha, of course I was in NYC's Penn Station. And, if it makes a difference, the map is of the terrifying twister of roads surrounding the Meadowlands. And Penn Station will be a crazy nightmare those few days, I am sure. Not to mention the traffic jams leading up to the game will make Bridgegate look like rush hour in Des Moines.

    fun fact: only the presidential inauguration has a higher security designation in America than the Super Bowl.

  • mswas

    Yes it's in NYC's turf, and so is all the revenue.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It kinda sucks that Jersey is gonna get so burned by the Superbowl. All the nightmare planning logistics, none of the benefits. (It also sucks that the Giants couldn't even PRETEND to make an EFFORT this year, but that's spilled milk.)

    My Marriott contact said that the NFL is spending $1million just to paper the inside of the Marriott Marquis with Superbowl stuff. They are taking over the hotel for the weekend. She's freaked at the prospect of a snowstorm.

  • mswas

    Tell your contact she should check with the NJ State Climatologist! She might feel better.

  • NateMan

    That 'Mind of a Man' poster is accurate for how my wife feels when my mother calls. I'd like her mom to adopt me, but that could get weird.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    That Dan Brown marginalia story might be the best thing you have ever posted. I have a deep desire to do this with my friends now. We spent New Year's Day watching stupid movies together and making fun of them...why not books?

  • BWeaves

    It's like MST3K for books.

    I've never read any Dan Brown, but those few posted pages were hilarious. I wish I had friends to do this with. It's the actual writing in the margins that I love, so an e-book just isn't going to cut it. I love the different handwriting, and the drawing and the snark.

    Sara, Loo shag brolley: Do you want to get a pen pal Twilight thing going? We each read the same book, say Twilight, and write in the margins, then mail it to the next person, do the same, mail it to the next person, and then get back our original? Sort of like an Evil Cannonball Read?

  • loo shag brolley

    A thousand gallons of YES.

  • The Mama

    Um... can I play?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    send email to me. I'm coordinating.

    My email is SaraTonin00 at G...

  • Sara_Tonin00

    YES pleeeease. I'm sure it'll slow down my actual CBR, but I only signed up for a half-marathon. Let me see if my roommate is attached to her copy of Twilight...

    For efficiency, we should choose different books to start with. OH OH. I should dig up one of the books that I actually bothered to flame on Amazon. YES. It is going to be a Brad Meltzer book that I shall start with. So incredibly bad. So I'll leave Twilight to you @BWeaves:disqus, or you @emmalita:disqus , or @looshagbrolley:disqus

    My email is SaraTonin00 at G..., if you want to shoot me emails to get this cracking.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I want to play, too!

  • Salieri2

    Who in the fuck downvotes that? Do you have a nemesis?

  • Mrs. Julien

    How tantalizing! If I do, she/she now has the necessary information to express disapprobation in private as well as in public.

  • Salieri2

    I like to think I have a nemesis at the meat counter of my local grocer. We each take turns trying to clean them out of chicken backs, which are not a high-volume commodity. He's making large quantities of chicken stock, I think; I'm feeding 145 lbs' worth of golden retrievers 3 lbs of food a day.

    Judging by my own experience of showing up Just Too Late and Khaaaaning "RESTAURANT GUYYY!!!!" at the heavens, I think he gets frustrated and yells "DOG FOOD LADYYYYYY!!!!!"

    We have never met.

  • loo shag brolley

    "Mom, Dad, how did you meet?"

  • Salieri2

    50 Shades?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I thought it,but I was too scared to say it (and I sure as hell ain't paying for it).

  • BWeaves

    I just ordered 50 Shades for one cent on Amazon. I hope I didn't overpay.

  • Salieri2

    I'm sure I know some teenage girls who could give up a copy for the cause.

  • emmalita

    I want in! I want in soooo bad.

  • loo shag brolley

    I now have a reason to read Twilight.

  • Berry

    Libraries throw away a lot of old books they can't sell, so turning an old book into art is mostly okay with me. On a side note, Hobitten. That's Swedish or Norwegian.

  • Miss Jane

    Oh, I though the artist was making statement or maybe it was some kind of Hobbit/vampire mashup.

  • BWeaves

    Hobbit/vampire mashup. I must get on this right away. Elves with fangs. The 50 Shades Momfans are going to love it.

  • Antique (webelos8)

    You'll be a quadzillionaire.

  • John W

    The Archer premiere last night was awesome.


    Pam getting shot full of tranquilizer darts was the highlight for me.

  • Guest

    YUP. The 4 minute trailer for the new season is pretty EPIC.

    + Krieger / Lucky Yates is a full time cast member.

    *Pours one out for Brent Bunsen

    "Well, at least he died doing what he loved... being shot."

    Pam driving with Cheryl in the backseat with a rocket launcher is the scene I most want to see. Plus Archer and the Tiger.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    I'm really excited for the new direction they're taking.

  • NateMan

    Me too, and yet the whole episode felt like a promo to me. It didn't help that I watched it at 5am when I couldn't fall back asleep. I saved it for a repeat viewing in case it was better the second time.

  • BWeaves

    Yeah, it was just like an overlong promo. I wish they'd just jumped in and started the new season properly. Now, I feel like there's no surprises, because I've already seen a lot of the best bits.

  • the_wakeful

    Am I the only one that got the idea that was all a fantasy in Archers mind and ISN'T WHAT IS ACTUALLY LITERALLY GOING TO HAPPEN?

  • BWeaves

    No, I thought it was a fantasy of Archer's, but everyone else keeps telling me it's a promo of things to come.

  • lowercase_ryan

    trust me, liking the 49ers will not be a reason to watch the Superbowl.

  • the_wakeful

    You take that back! (I'll be so very pleasantly surprised if Seattle loses on Sunday)

  • JoannaRobinson
  • lowercase_ryan

    He has a mother in law but no ring.

    And I'm pretty sure that landline doesn't come with missed call notifications.

    You mother F'ers aren't even trying, I swear.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    There are fancy landlines that do have missed call notifications (usually the ones connected to cable systems). My sister's phone even announces out loud who is calling.

    But you're dead one with the ring. Good detecting.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Been watching a lot of Sherlock.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    Who are these people who look down their noses at gifs? Know they not joy?

  • Guest

    People with 28k Dial up hate gifs.

  • Mrs. Julien

    So they don't hate gifs, just the 21st century, and probably their ISP.

  • Luddites gonna ludd.

  • loo shag brolley
  • Sara_Tonin00

    bwa hahahaha. That is fantastic.

  • BWeaves

    AHHHHH, that's freaky.

  • Rachel McAuley

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