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Is Christina Hendricks' Dress Too Tight Or Just Perfect? Come On Guys, Grow Up, It's Obviously Both.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (59)

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You know how they say it takes a village to raise a kid? Well, while I’m helping out my sister this week to raise her kid, a village of wonderful Pajibans helped me build today’s P. Love. So much thanks and drooly kisses to all of them. I learned the drooling trick from my nephew, apparently it equals love. First up from Scully we have this great list of the top ten misused words in the English language for you lovely loquacious ones. I have to call shenanigans on #3, but was shocked about “enormity.” SHOCKED. (Listverse)

Speaking of loquaciousness (loquacity…adequataquavicy), the real world headlines on “Onion-like” are dripping with it. Yup, that’s another drool reference. (OnionLike)

Ah, but it was the slippery-tongued scribe at My Filthy Home who made me blush this morning. Thanks to Mrs. Smith for sending it my way. The visuals won’t get you fired, but don’t let your boss read the copy. (Filthy Home)

Speaking of things to make you blush, here is Miss Hendricks spilling out of a dress. Dear god, woman, who dresses you? I’m not complaining, but that looks painful. Also, for all of you who have ever called her fat, I’ll just say this. Those are obviously not the arms of a fat woman. (Celebitchy)

The Christina Hendricks fat question always makes me think of Pajiba’s own Courtney Enlow. Courtney has many talents, but chief among them (yes, CHIEF) is her encyclopedic knowledge of “Saved By The Bell.” In fact, I bet she knows all the 13 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About “Saved By The Bell” on this list. I’ll wager she’ll still click to see the bromazing Zack/Slater pec shot. (Buzzfeed)

Turns out Pajibans like lists. How seriously random is that? Kballs wins today for sending me a list of “Worst Lists.” Bid a fond farewell to your productivity. (Uncyclopedia)

Productivity, ha! You can’t fool me, katers sent me the following link and now I know you office monkeys are just playing monitor limbo all day. (BLDG/WLF)

I actually have a question for you cubicle cuties, how casual are you allowed to go on Friday? Is this “Star Trek” dress too lax? Save it for Cosplay Friday? Okay. How about these rad swimsuits that Tracer Bullet sent me? Mmmmm, Aquaman speedos. (Comics Alliance)

That’s right you corporate cads, I’m advocating Bring Your Bathing Suit To Work Day. You’ll never get anything done, you say? Don’t worry, after you read these facts about the human body it’ll lose some of its allure. 100 trillion bacterial cells?! Criminy, Scully! (Today I Found Out)

Speaking of distractions, how many of you busy worker bees turn into tweeting birds when you’re at the office? Here are two more ways to fritter on Twitter. First, here’s a fun tool that turns your every day tweets into taglines for a Summer Blockbuster, complete with sexy, bass voice-over. Secondly, Tracer Bullet sent me these Tweets as Peanuts cartoons. I may start using “Sir” in more of my tweets. (Comics Alliance)
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Speaking of sexy bass voice-over, check out the opening credits to the Japanese “SNL” and let me know what you think of their version of the Ace of Sexy Bass, Don Pardo. (Warming Glow)

Bass may be sexy in a voice but everyone knows that in a band the drummer always brings the heat. Well, almost always. Here is our very own Sara H interviewing Tony McCarroll, the former drummer for “Oasis.” It’s a really interesting interview and sheds some new light on the Gallagher mythos (it ain’t all watermelons folks, som-oh, wrong Gallagher). Many thanks to Yossarian for the tip! (Glorified Love Letters)

Finally, we have a musical double feature for you to end the Love this week. On the Gay-side of the rec-SORRY! I mean, on the A-side of the record, here is 9 year-old Robert Jeffrey absolutely killing a Madonna cover. SeaKat and I both agree that, unlike Tracy Morgan, we’d be thrilled if our kid was born this way.

ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER ‘91! from Robert Jeffrey on Vimeo.

On the B-side (“B” stands for “bizarre”), we have this new Memory Tapes video. I dig the song but I dig the concept even more. I know it’s both arty and funky, but so was Art Garfunkel. Chew on THAT.

Memory Tapes “Yes I Know” from Najork on Vimeo.

Joanna Robinson would drool over all of you if she could. She’d eat you up, she loves you so. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

I am never ever going to productive again with that Worst lists link. Ever. And I'll take one Wonder Woman bathing suit please, but only if I can use my lasso to catch some dolphin friends for my bathtub.

Posted by: Julie at June 10, 2011 2:07 PM

That staple cityscape is fabulously cool!

Posted by: fenchurch at June 10, 2011 2:12 PM

Appropos of nothing in PLove, I just want to say that today is my last day of work for the State, and my Pajiba-Time (stop! Pajiba-Time!) during the day may be restricted in the days to come as I re-enter the private sector. I will not go away, oh, no, my little snark-biscuits....I will still be around.....just maybe not so much between 8-5 Indiana time.

Posted by: dammitjanet at June 10, 2011 2:15 PM

"Those are obviously not the arms of a fat woman."

No, but those are dangerously close to being cankles.

I hate to admit it, but I preferred her thinner and with a little less of a 'stroke-y' look in her eyes. This of course being a perfect world and all. I don't think I would ever find flaws if I were really in Mr. Snozzberry's shoes.

Posted by: Protoguy at June 10, 2011 2:16 PM

The dress is perfect except her boobs cannot be harnessed! Alas, there is probably no way to make the boobular area of the dress large enough for Miss Hendricks, but she looks really good. I think the problem with some of her other dresses was that they had too much going on in the chest area when she already has plenty going on there. Simple works. THE END.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 10, 2011 2:23 PM

I'll be with you in a minute Joanna. I'm just alphabetizing my righteous indignation index cards.

Has anyone seen my boots? The ones made for walking?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 2:25 PM

I knew that "literally" would make the list of most mis-used words but was sad that it was not #1. Let's face it, Rob Lowe has "litrally" made an artform out of saying the word on Parks & Rec. That should be worth something!

Additionally, I was a little bummed that no one on that site even mentioned Parks & Rec. Damn stuffy "readers"!!! So you reads books. Big whoop! Hell, if Snooki can write one then they ain't that damn special, are they now?

Posted by: swingdude at June 10, 2011 2:27 PM

Mrs. Julien, did you leave your walking boots in someone's ass by mistake? I find I do that sometimes.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 10, 2011 2:27 PM

Woo! Thanks for the shout-out!

The internet is weird and magical, as always.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Christina Hendricks photos to ogle...

Posted by: Sara H at June 10, 2011 2:28 PM

Re: The 10 Fascinating Facts about the Human Body.

The Main Squeeze often gets in trouble for squishing "the good nostril" when we're smoochin'. So, it's good to know that most folks only breath out of one nostril at a time; however, I'm not convince I alternate, since I'm 90% sure "the good nostril" is the right one.

Posted by: tamatha at June 10, 2011 2:30 PM

Ooh! Ooh! I have two more for the misused words list!

Nauseous- This word means that it causes or inspires nausea. Sarah Palin says nauseous things. If you have nausea, you are nauseated. I am nauseated when I listen to Sarah Palin.

Nonplussed- This one I get wrong all the time. It sounds like it should mean that you are unmoved or impassive ("I was nonplussed by the revelation that Rick Santorum fucks dogs."), but it actually means the opposite, that is, "surprised or confused so much that one forgets how to act" ("Newt Gingrich is nonplussed by monogamy.")

Posted by: StoatCat at June 10, 2011 2:38 PM

Hendricks is fat. No arguing it. She is also sexy as hell. Not much argument there either.

Posted by: Sean at June 10, 2011 2:42 PM

Tweets as Peanuts cartoons.

OHMYGOD this is the best thing of my whole entire life. Thank you, and thank Harris. I am never going to stop reading these EVER.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at June 10, 2011 2:45 PM

Garrulousocity!

I'm not convince I alternate, since I'm 90% sure "the good nostril" is the right one.

And now I have James Brown in my head...

They're breathing out the good nostril!
I got to get on the good nostril!

Posted by: branded at June 10, 2011 2:48 PM

Christina Hendricks' boobs have boobs.

Posted by: Fredo at June 10, 2011 2:56 PM

Uhm, too tight? She gets the wonky eye bad in pics but still gorgeous!

Posted by: gig at June 10, 2011 2:57 PM

One of my friends won a $100 gift certificate for this response:

Radio DJ: Finish this sentence I knew it was over when...

Friend: I noticed that one of his nostrils was dramatically larger than the other one.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 3:00 PM

That dancing kid makes me SO happy. Also, the parents that apparently supported him in his "him-ness" (does that make sense?) also make me happy.

Posted by: SeaKat at June 10, 2011 3:04 PM

The lawsuit-avoiding names for those swimsuits are golden. I'm gonna get some Fishdude bikinis for the fellas...

And the Wil Wheaton Peanutweeter is AMAZING!

And Office Space IS Scarface for white people. Well observed, @BlakeButler

Posted by: Patty O'Green at June 10, 2011 3:04 PM

The swimsuit website has an old-timey sheriff swimsuit. It might be the best thing ever, and I'm almost afraid to get it for fear I would refuse to break character at pool parties, and potentially use Deadwood-level swearing in front of children.

Posted by: The Bean at June 10, 2011 3:28 PM

YAY THE BEAN!

Who's next?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 3:36 PM

Christina, minus spanx and corsets and boning is a very average lady (not necessarily facially, though). Even huge, saggy tits can be pushed up to look like that. Nothing special is happening here.

Posted by: stump at June 10, 2011 3:41 PM

I'm almost afraid to get it for fear I would refuse to break character at pool parties, and potentially use Deadwood-level swearing in front of children.

Those cocksucking hula hoopleheads deserve whatever they get!
::pounds back shot of whiskey::

Posted by: branded at June 10, 2011 3:47 PM

Christina Hendricks seems to be deteriorating a bit. Her weight and bewbs are fine, it's just that her hair's getting stringy and her teeth are starting to look a little wonky and that eye is approaching Paris Hilton levels of askewedness. Though the bewbs are unholy, she's dropping like testicles on a toddler in Kballs' Mental Fap Bank.

Posted by: Kballs at June 10, 2011 4:01 PM

she's dropping like testicles on a toddler in Kballs' Mental Fap Bank

It's because of sentiments like that I feel both fear and awe in Kballs presence.

Leave the wonky eye alone! I have one too and it's the one thing (other than Clairol Natural Instincts Cinnaberry) that I can claim to have in common with her!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 4:12 PM

Why all the snark? Put away the claws--it's not becoming. She's looks pretty hot to me. Her boobs are like magnets--I'm drawn to them--it's like they have hypnotic powers or something. Yowza.

Posted by: lisa at June 10, 2011 4:14 PM

Yeah, that's a bit of cheap shot. Paris Hilton reference redacted.

Posted by: Kballs at June 10, 2011 4:15 PM

Scootmcnairy, that was harsh stump.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 4:18 PM

I am not sure why that was harsh.I called her average and nothing special minus her face (which I think is attractive). Have you seen pictures of her not done up on the red carpet? Avg. body in all its saggy pudgy glory.

Posted by: stump at June 10, 2011 4:22 PM

My new mission is to use Hula Hoopleheads in a sentence as much as possible.

I like Christina Hendricks' wonky eye. It's like she constantly slyly half-winking at you. As someone with one eyebrow higher than the other, I like to think it adds a sarcastic single eyebrow raise to all photos. This cute new baby is yours? Suuuure it is. Happy couple? Suuuuure you are.

Posted by: The Bean at June 10, 2011 4:30 PM

My mother's raised right eyebrow foretold your impending doom, "We are with other people now," it seemed to say, "but sooner or later you and I will be alone."

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 4:40 PM

I envy The Bean's graceful emergence from lurkerdom. Bravo to you fine sir/madam.

Posted by: yy at June 10, 2011 5:30 PM

Nice tits. I mean I could be more appropriate but this is like the hundredth column about Hendricks breast. So when pajiba decides to stop obsessing over Hendricks breast I'll be more appropriate.

Posted by: Pookie at June 10, 2011 5:37 PM

"Worst 100 Ways to be Circumcized"? No way I'm reading that, and I'm a girl.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 10, 2011 5:43 PM

Posted by: ogcwebb at June 10, 2011 6:14 PM

I'm not sure what hotter about the header pic. What's in front of Christina, or what's behind her.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 10, 2011 6:15 PM

Thanks yy! It would be more graceful if I could figure out how to bold and italicize.

Posted by: The Bean at June 10, 2011 7:22 PM

Thank the gods someone is addressing this issue with "less" and "fewer". I swear everyone does this now. I hear it all the time on the BBC. If fewer people did this, I would be less insane.

Posted by: John G. at June 10, 2011 7:44 PM

Christina Krispy Kreme needs to hit the treadmill.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at June 10, 2011 8:06 PM

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 8:09 PM

So yy, have I been too distracted by the world revolving around me to notice your name before or are you ready to be coaxed out into the light as well?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 10, 2011 8:10 PM

Mrs. Julien I've been here and there.
Wherever there's tomfoolery and joy, I'm there. But sometimes I'm not, 'cause I'm out in the night, staying vigilant, watching, lurking, running, jumping, hurtling, sleeping. No, I can’t sleep. I don’t sleep. You sleep. I’m awake. I don’t sleep. I don’t blink. Am I a bird? No. I’m a bat. I am Batman … or am I? Yes, I am Batman.

Posted by: yy at June 10, 2011 9:28 PM

I guess it wouldn't be in the Top 10 but some people misuse "penultimate" even worse than "ultimate" -as though "penultimate" is even more ultimate than the ultimate.

Posted by: Pat C. at June 10, 2011 10:25 PM

I misunderstood the "Worst Lists" item. I thought it meant the lists themselves were bad, e.g. "10 hottest letters of the alphabet", "100 reasons to love Spencer Pratt", etc.

Posted by: Pat C. at June 10, 2011 10:28 PM

StoatCat, Merriam-Webster disagrees with you about the "nauseous" thing. While your definition is listed first, the entry also lists "affected with nausea or disgust" as a valid meaning.

Unrelated, but how did I not know about the Japanese SNL?? I live here and am a fan of several of the appearing comedians, and yet... Huh.

Posted by: Shibuyama at June 10, 2011 11:10 PM

Augh! Decimate. I *hate* when people misuse "decimate." Every time I have heard a person use it incorrectly they mean to say "annihilate." What is even worse is when a person says "completely decimate." As in to completely and utterly destroy...one-tenth of the given subject. Hah.

Posted by: stardust at June 10, 2011 11:18 PM

That should have read "Gah." Damn phone.

Posted by: stardust at June 10, 2011 11:20 PM

Got-damn. If we still had EE, we'd have to make it an "all rookie" edition this week.

Posted by: MM at June 10, 2011 11:47 PM

That Captain America swimsuit is genius for those of us who are short and stumpy.

Posted by: Figgy at June 11, 2011 1:18 AM

decimate: \ˈde-sə-ˌmāt\

1: to select by lot and kill every tenth man of

2: to exact a tax of 10 percent from (poor as a decimated Cavalier — John Dryden)

3 a: to reduce drastically especially in number (cholera decimated the population)

    b: to cause great destruction or harm to (firebombs decimated the city) (an industry decimated by recession)
decimation noun

Merriam-Webster is just sayin'.

Posted by: Rykker at June 11, 2011 10:04 AM

"10 hottest letters of the alphabet", "100 reasons to love Spencer Pratt", etc.

I thought the exact same thing, Pat C. I was also disappoint.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at June 11, 2011 10:35 AM

Posted by: yy at June 10, 2011 9:28 PM

THIS. This pleases me.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at June 11, 2011 10:42 AM

Christina Hendrix's breasts are the greatest thing ever, they're so beautiful they almost erased the memory of the fact that Joanie Laurer put out another sex tape this year.

This imperfect world isn't worthy of Christina Hendrix's breasts.

Posted by: Devil Child at June 12, 2011 2:09 AM

Miss Hendricks

Shouldn't that be Mrs. Hendricks?

Posted by: Matt at June 12, 2011 12:10 PM

Taken to smuggling bald men in her top ?

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at June 12, 2011 12:48 PM

I'm not sure if that's wishful thinking or just plain denial Matt.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 12, 2011 7:12 PM

I'm with you Devil Child. I find her breasts oddly mesmerizing.

Posted by: alicia at June 13, 2011 3:45 AM

Hi! Much too worthwhile word of advice on this submit! It really is the tiny tweaks that make the greatest shift. Thanks so much for sharing!

Posted by: social media marketing at July 6, 2011 3:21 AM

OMGJoan Crawford, John Wayne, and (Im always a little afraid to say this next anymore)Nazis? How could I have missed this? I have to admit that when I watch a Crawford film Im forced to do so in secret because of him with whom I dwell, but really! I was allowed Johnny Guitar and that Circus film (who could resist Joan at that age wearing a negligee from her own closet?). Obviously I must find this film and watch it on the sly

Posted by: Giuseppe Yasui at August 7, 2011 4:40 PM